i get sooo stressed out when DD is around.. the babies are no problem for me.. but the other day (it was a really bad day 4 her) i actually thought about throwing a can of campbells soup at her!!! :blink: i couldnt imagine myself actually doing it, but i thought about it.... i dont feel depressed but maybe its just panic an stress from the day? i just feel bad for her.. she doesnt get mommy time and when she does its bc she is bad...I feel like i have ruined her 4th year of life because i have 2 babies instead of just one..... I feel like a bad mommy... :cray:
Ashley! :hug99: The good news is that the first year of life with the twins will fly by with lightning speed and you'll be out of this before you know it!! I wish I knew what to tell you but I have another :hug99: for you!
it will get better. you are still in the adjustment period. I yelled at DD so much the first few month and felt horrible and counted down the minutes until she had to go take a nap for the longest time. Try to make some extra time for her when the babies are napping, and do something with her she wouldn't normally get to do like make cookies or get her fingernails polished. remember to say the wordS she is probably longing to hear as often as you can: I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME, YOU ARE A GREAT GIRL, I AM PROUD OF YOU and try compliment her when she is doing what she is supposed to. You are not a bad Momma, it is hard work and you are doing the best you can.
I'm right there with you Ashley! My ds is 3 1/2. I feel so guilty, like I've ruined his life or something. It used to be me and him all day and he was so good and loving (dh was even jealous!) but now I look forward to his bed time every day! I feel so bad because all I ever do is yell at him (it feels like) and he NEVER listens anymore. I feel like a bad mommy too. I don't know how everyone else does it. I also feel bad for playing with the babies because ds is always getting yelled at, so I can only imagine how it feels to see Mommy being sweet to babies and mean to him. I am trying my best to make him feel extra special, but I'm really at the end of my ropes. MIL is about to pay for all day preschool 3 days a week to give us all a break. Hang in there and know that you are not a bad Mommy... only human! :good:
Not having an older sibbling I can only share expeience in daycare and my degree in early childhood. If they only time they get attention is when they are bad, they will still want the attentnion. If you can find good attetion to give him and isolate him for the bad, it should help to teach him he gets mom time when he is good and not when he is bad. I know this will be hard and I don't even have on and I can only imagine but I do know it works in a classroom when I have 20 - 30 kids. Take 30 min a couple of times a day that is only for her. Babies are sleeping or in bouncers/swings/activity mats. Give her your total attention on an activity she chooses. Give it 5-7 days and her behavior should improve drastically. Good luck.
I am in the boat with yah! I posted about this about 6 weeks ago. Poor girl! I feel horrible for her every day. My poor sweet baby. When I brought the babies home I cried and hugged her and apologized to her for ruining her world. It's gotten to the point now that we decided to put her in daycare twice a week just to give me a break and to let her out of this penned up family room and socialize herself, she needs it. Plus I NEVER get anything done anymore. She is lucky to ever get a hot lunch. It's always yogurt and dry cereal for breakfast, cheese and crackers and raisins for lunch until daddy gets home and he cooks dinner. So twice a week will be good for everybody and I can get some housework done. So, hang in there. We try our best. I'm hoping my dd won't remember the times I've yelled at her cuz I hate it.
I have two older boys too and I feel so bad sometimes. They are always begging me to do something with them and I just dont have enough time in the day. My DH tells me all the time that I do have two older kids too that need mama b/c I am always occupied by the babies. I have tried to do fun stuff with them a few times a week like tonight I told DH he would have to take care of the babies for an hour so we could decorate cookies. They also love to bring me diapers or wipes or make a bottle(my 7 year old). I am hoping it gets easier soon b/c this is hard.
Right there with you -- it is SO hard! Something we do every night is "family story time" -- after everyone has eaten, we put the babies on the playmat on the floor, and then we read a few baby books (Sandra Boynton, or whatever picture books you like), and then we read something for my older DD -- right now she's really into the Magic Treehouse series. The babies play, and they're quiet because they like to listen to my voice. And, older DD gets either my lap or DH's, but we don't hold the babies unless they get fussy. DD *loves* this....and, she has memorized all her old books, so she loves to "read" to the babies, too. Hang in there....I struggle daily with finding a balance, and believe me, DD often frustrates me to no end....
omg i feel the same way!!! i feel like i ruined her life and she will never love me again!! before the tein she was a mommys girl and cared about me now when she gets up the 1st thing she wants to do is go to grandmas house. i know she want to go there cuz she dont get yelled at! i do have one more prop... she is not potty trained!! she just turned 3 and freaks out about the potty! she was kinda at age 2 but we have gone through several moves and well now we are settled and i have major issues changing a 3 year old diaper (pull up) it is sooooo freakin gross!!! its a full grown human popping in her panies!!! any ways i feel the same way u do
