Why must all children run up to my babies and put their hands all over their faces and hands? Why do their parents standing over them not say anything to make them stop? I feel so stupid telling someone else's kid to look but don't touch when their parent is right there. Am I out of line? How do you handle this? I also hate when kids come over (children of family, friends) and run all over and "play" with the babies toys. Run through the play gyms, try to get in the swing or bouncy seats, etc. It's not even that I'm afraid they'll break it - though I'd be mad if they did. But I can just see all the little germs crawling all over them, and can visualize my babies touching them and then putting their hands in their mouths. I know I can go a little overboard, because these are my first babies and I've always been somewhat of a germaphobe. Is it just me???
I think it is normal to feel that way - as I have felt that way many times. I have found myself telling other people's children many times not to touch the babies, I feel bad saying it too, but hey, its what I feel is best for my babies, so I continue to say it. I find it's not just the children, but the adults that do similar stupid things - our landscaper came in our house the other day after working in the garden etc and tried to grab our dd's hand to say hi - we quickly squashed that idea! I can't stand when other children come over to the house and run across the baby's play mats with their dirty feet, and step all over the toys that go in the baby's mouths - I'm with you I can totally relate!!!! I usually end up washing the toys after any kids have been over - its a PIA but at least I know the toys are clean!
the twins are my first and honestly I can say I never worried about stuff like that - fortunately we don't have alot of kids in our family and any stranger I ran into that asked about them only ever touched their feet (with the exception of some creep in WalMart one time that walked up to my stroller and stuffed Abby's binky back in her mouth - I DID toss that one after that)... I guess I'm just not a germaphobe...never have been...
i am a big germ-freak! i remember when the girls were only a few weeks old and i took them to the grocery store with me. i was checking out and of couse there were people admiring them b/c they were twins. and then i saw this girl reach into the car seat and put the pacifier in one of their mouthes!!! i thought i was going to have a heart attack! i don't know what people are thinking sometimes. i think moms with babies have the same general respect for eachother when it comes to that...but forget the rest of the world!
I am NOT a germophobe, but when the girls were little I made everyone wash their hands before touching the babies! My cousin just had a baby and we visited last weekend (baby boy is 6 weeks old). Within minutes of us getting there, she handed him to me. That was fine, but I would have like to have washed my hands first. Guess she didn't care. Then when he was in the swing the girls were very interested in him and his little feet. I was constantly saying "Look at the cute baby, but don't touch!" while my cousin and aunt kept saying "Leighann we don't CARE if they touch him!"
I'm just curious is it strangers kids that are touching your babies or people that you know? If it is people that you know I think it would be totally appropriate for you to say something like "please wash your hands before you touch the babies." Or carry some hand sanitizer with you and offer it. That's what we do. We have neices that come over and they know they have to wash or sanitize their hands first. If it's strangers children then I wouldn't hesitate to ask them to please not touch.
Germs are our friends guys We NEED them to prevent our kids from getting sick.. As counter-intuitive as that seems, it is the truth. I am a Germaphobe (like for REAL REAL problem.. on meds) and since I had the babies I have FORCED myself to NOT be. I let them touch shopping carts, high chairs, menus, toys off the floor, other kids, adults, crawl on floors... I obviously wash them in the tub EVERY SINGLE NITE and wash their hands if they touched dog food, or something that will TRULY cause harm to them but it is VERY VERY VERY important that they be exposed to things to develop immunities to fight infection. It is the oversterilization/antibacterial craze that has made allergies soo common and even asthma. I know it's tough and GROSS.. I do.. I am a Purell LOVER!! But they really need to be exposed to as much as possible to have the best immune system Someone (or I should say SOME-ONES) are sitting back counting their money they made by freaking Mommies like us out about GERMS!! Many a company have built an empire by making us think that Germs are bad. They are not. Germs are our friends No Purell anymore. I do still use antibacterial soap but NOT on the babies. I let them play outside in the dirt and always will-- the rise in asthma is based largely on the fact that children no longer play in the dirt and dust-- their lungs overreact to it now when they "see" it because they "see" it as an invader!! How sad is that? I remember when I was young- I LIVED outside in the dirt! Anyway... I love germs! (NASTY! I don't even touch door handles! My husband thinks I'm insane but he's very proud of my progress ) Another thing that helps me when other kids are sick and come over and whatnot is repeating this mantra in my head "They have to catch it sooner or later to become immune.. if not now, when?" It doesn't help all that much but I keep saying it LOL. Good luck it's gross but my kids are 9.5 months and FWIW- have NEVER been sick.. And they weren't breastfed and I've never sanitized their hands or toys or anything and we are out 1/2 the day 7 days a week
The twins are my first too. After they came home from the NICU (November), I was pretty paranoid about RSV so we pretty much quarantined ourselves until May. But since then, I really haven't worried about it too much. I'm sure though that once winter (and cold and flu season) arrive, I'll be back to how I was last winter. Especially since I don't think they'll get their synagis shots this year.
I don't think you're overreacting. For myself, I especially worry about strangers (in our case it's usually older women) who come up and touch my babies. I find it sweet that they just love my babies and want to touch/talk with them. They are complete strangers to me, though, and I usually see them out in public. I have no idea the last time they washed their hands, KWIM? I think it's a common way for mothers to feel, especially with infants. FWIW, my dr. says, "wash hands, wash hands, wash hands" every time I see him in order to keep babies from getting sick. He's been in medicine a long time and I believe he's giving me good advice. I think you should trust your mommy instincts. If you are having some hesitations, definitely ask them to wash their hands :hug99: .
No, its not just you. I always run interference with other kids when mine are in the stroller. I just know as soon as I see someone heading to the stroller to stop and either get to the side or front of it. When they were under a year I did not allow strangers to touch them (as long as I could stop it). They were preemies and I had no desire to expose them to more of the unknown, I just did the best I could. And I always used Purell. Now that they are older I have taken it down a notch. I am not nearly as aggressive with the Purell as I used to be and they can even touch the floor in the Mall and I dont start to twitch. Bottom line-they are your kids and you have to do what you feel comfortable with and if that means asking others not to touch or play then go for it. :hug99:
We have made it a long standing rule in our house that ALL guests/relatives/friends/family wash their hands upon entering our house. This was very important to us because of their NICU time so we were VERY strict about this when they were infants. As they got older we still enforce the washing hands rule because it really is the best way to prevent colds. Luckily we have been able to avoid getting sick during flu season, but we have had our share of colds. I realize they do need to build up their immune system so I try not to get upset about things that are beyond my control. However, anything that is within my control (i.e. hand washing upon entering our house)I will enforce. Our DD and DS have had colds at the same time and one after another and it is NOT fun. We try to explain to our guests that when one gets sick, it means the other will also and probably the whole household. People usually understand after we explain. As for toys and other children, we also ask that they wash their hands. Our own children wash their hands upon entering our house, too. If we have an infant visiting us we do not ask that his/her hands be washed. Since he/she will probably put toys in his/her mouth we often put away a lot of our toys to eliminate the # of toys that need to be cleaned afterwards.
QUOTE(caryanne07 @ Jul 16 2008, 07:20 AM) [snapback]879048[/snapback] The twins are my first too. After they came home from the NICU (November), I was pretty paranoid about RSV so we pretty much quarantined ourselves until May. But since then, I really haven't worried about it too much. I'm sure though that once winter (and cold and flu season) arrive, I'll be back to how I was last winter. Especially since I don't think they'll get their synagis shots this year. Same for me. When they were really little we worried about it because of RSV, now I don't worry as much. I do wish that strangers wouldn't touch them, but I don't really freak out about it when it happens. So far, they've never been sick (knock on wood).
I have a 5 y/o that was in K when the babies came home and they're now in daycare. We took/take common sense precautions but I'm not overly concerned. I was more a bit more cautious about this type of thing with Aidan but then he started daycare at 4 months and after that it's sorta like what's the point? Plus I agree with a pp. They need to be exposed to germs to build immunity. I'd rather have them sick with general colds now then when they're in school and staying home could means missed schoolwork. I couldn't tell you the last time I had to stay home with Aidan due to an illness. It's been at least 2 -3 years. (knock on wood) Christy
QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Jul 16 2008, 07:57 AM) [snapback]879012[/snapback] I'm just curious is it strangers kids that are touching your babies or people that you know? If it is people that you know I think it would be totally appropriate for you to say something like "please wash your hands before you touch the babies." Or carry some hand sanitizer with you and offer it. That's what we do. We have neices that come over and they know they have to wash or sanitize their hands first. If it's strangers children then I wouldn't hesitate to ask them to please not touch. Mainly people that we know, kids of family members (my husband has a huge family and there are tons of kids), and neighbors. I don't know why I find it so hard to ask them to wash their hands, I'm glad others on here seem to think it's reasonable too. One family in particular has 6 kids and they're just really wild. The parents don't watch them, and I doubt they are ever taught to "wash your hands" or "cover your mouth when you cough!" So they'd probably look at me like I had two heads if I told them that. But I think I will just have to suck it up and say something.
QUOTE(DeniseT @ Jul 16 2008, 10:39 AM) [snapback]879461[/snapback] Mainly people that we know, kids of family members (my husband has a huge family and there are tons of kids), and neighbors. I don't know why I find it so hard to ask them to wash their hands, I'm glad others on here seem to think it's reasonable too. One family in particular has 6 kids and they're just really wild. The parents don't watch them, and I doubt they are ever taught to "wash your hands" or "cover your mouth when you cough!" So they'd probably look at me like I had two heads if I told them that. But I think I will just have to suck it up and say something. That's one of the most important and sometimes hardest thing to get comfortable doing - be your children's advocate and speak up for them. It gets easier each time you do it though.
I get squeamish when a child with an obvious cold gets near my child and its like slow motion watching them reach for the babies. Other than that I am not too concerned about germs.
I am kind of with IVFbound on this-I was very careful when they were first home from the hospital because they were 4 weeks early and I didnt want them to get RSV or anything like that, but now that they are a little older I try not to worry too much. They catch the common cold/ear infection every once in a while but for the most part are fine. They need to be exposed to germs to develop immunities for later in life. Please dont get me wrong-I dont let my children wallow in filth or play with the trash can, I make my 3yo wash her hands after using the bathroom...but I dont walk around with clorox wipes and disinfectant or require people to remove their shoes in my house. This is just one little opinion and I am by no means critizing anyone else for how they decide to handle this.
Thanks for your support and feedback. My friend brought her two year old daughter over today. She was actually well behaved and really didn't touch the babies. I did much better about not freaking out about the toys. I put some away ahead of time, and left the ones out I knew I could wash easily. It really didn't bother me too much. I guess it's just the kids that aren't so well behaved... The first real time we took the babies out was around 5 weeks for their Baptism. We had my husband's family over, and I turned my head for one second to find several kids swarming the babies, rubbing their cheeks and grabbing their hands. Sure enough, two days later they both had colds. It was awful watching two little babies all stuffy and sick. And scary to know that if they ran a fever we were instructed to take them directly to the ER due to their age. We almost went because we got so many different readings with the stupid thermometer and I wasn't sure. But I was afraid they'd pick up something else there, especially if we really didn't need to be there. But we survived. I just hoped the next time they were sick would be when they were a little older and it would be a little less scary. I know they need to build up the immune system and germs are necessary, I don't mind being outside with them or dirt or anything. But it's just those nasty viruses...I picture them getting rotovirus or something, and ending up in the hospital hooked up to an IV to replenish fluids. Guess that's my problem, I need to stop worrying until there's something to worry about. Anyway, thanks for listening (reading)!
it drives me f'ing nuts! i want to get a sign that says something like "please don't touch me unless you ask my mommy first. and she'll probably say 'no!' i'd love a good solution to this issue!
My babies were born in Cambodia and spent the first 5 months of their life there. It is one of the dirtiest, germiest places on earth. It's incredibly hot there, there is garbage in the streets rotting under the hot sun, there is disease, the water is not drinkable. My babies were bathed in the Mekong River. Sanitation is practically non-existant. The red dirt from the street of Phnom Penh covers everything and every one, so much so that people make a habit of bathing twice a day. After experiencing this, I came to accept that there is pretty much nothing in the US that could be of much serious harm to my babies. It put germs into perspective for me. As for the touching by strangers, it made me cringe. The Cambodians wanted to touch the "lucky babies" that were going to America to become rich. One little beggar girl at a street market put my baby's hand into her mouth, I had no water or anything to clean it with. I ended up wiping the baby's hand through my own sweat and rubbing it on my shirt. My first week of parenting was lived in this manner. It puts things into perspective, really. One of my babies was shedding salmonella bacteria when she came home. I also experienced other children wanting to touch and kiss the babies, but in our case, it wasn't safe and I used that to keep people's hands off my babies. My in-laws have the habit of kissing babies on the mouth, and all things considered, that particular practice always gave me the willies. I was glad to have an excuse to nip it in the bud. So when it comes to germs, my standard philosophy is "how bad can it be?" You want to eat the cookie that fell on the floor? How bad can it be?
I was more that way with my first child, and more so with people who had colds or were sick. But either because the twins are not my first, or I've mellowed as a Mom, I'm not as much that way with the twins. I still get an icky feeling when someone approaches them while out and about, but not as bad as it used to be. You really just need to do what is right for you. :hug99:
i'm a total germaphobe. and when other kids touch my babies' faces/heads, and the parents do nothing, my reflex is to take the child's hand away myself, and say, " please don't touch their faces or heads, okay?" no one is going to stick up for my kids but me. and i don't like them crawling around IL's floors, cuz they wear their shoes on in the house. blech. it's not just you!
I’m the same way... I don’t think it’s polite and when parents don’t stop their kids from doing it I get so freaking mad....
