Intimacy with your partner the first year

Not sure if its because I had PPD and Im taking a low dose antidepressent, or because Im still breastfeeding, or maybe Im just tired but our intimacy frequency has definitely changed and my husband has been so patient-- but after almost 9 months he's ready for things to pick up a little bit...just wondering whats normal for other couples with multiples!

 

We did it more than I wanted.

Date night? What is that?

 

Date nights for us are totally random and totally dependent on when our parents are here and volunteer to watch all 3 kids so we can go out alone.

I think in the 10 months since the babies arrived we've been out alone about 4 times - and it has always only been to dinner and back.

We've also been out to eat and shopping a handful of times with just our 4-year-old (while grandparents watched the babies) - and pathetically enough, that also feels like a date! :rotflmbo:

 

We had two date nights our babies entire first year :lol: One was for Valentines Day (4 mos) and the other my birthday (11 mos).

ETA: We had "date-nights" at home that consisted mostly of having a drink and watching House of TiVo, and DH was happy because he knew he would "get lucky" afterward

 

Date night...tonight will be the 2nd time. When they were a lot smaller my MIL came over one night so we could go to dinner. Tonight they are suppose to stay the night at her house. The other question..intimacy, 4 to 5 times a week if not more...I can't handle a sexless marriage LOL

Dianna

 

Sex was completely random. But I would say once, maybe twice a month ... we actually had date nights more than sex nights. haha. We have a lot of family close by, and the twins were on a 7pm bedtime pretty early . .. so we used a lot of baby sitters to go to the movies and out to dinner. We also we lucky enough to have family that was willing to take the twins overnight, so we would just stay home, relax and sleep in. Don't put any pressure on yourself. It's really hard that first year. I consider us very lucky for all the time alone we had, but that was fully because of all the family willing to help.

 

I've had sex SEVEN times since they were born 13 months ago.

I have not had a single "date nite". But.. we never really did that anyway.

 

I have to admit to not having had sex for over a year :blush: What with the IVF, the 4 months of m/s, a bleeding episode, being heavily pg, then giving birth vaginally to 2 babies, sex hasn´t really been high on my priority list. I was also living with my in-laws for 2 months (I desperately needed the help) in the summer and after that, DH & I slept in the same room as the babies for a couple of months.

Saying that, MIL looked after the twins about 3 weeks ago and we booked a posh hotel in another city close by. I had it all planned (sexy underwear, condoms - you never know!) but DH went and fell asleep before anything could happen!

 

I'm too lazy to bother with bottles for the very rare occasions we would be able to make it out anyway, so really going out is out of the question until they're well onto solids. But we do try to get the kids in bed early and spend 45 minutes or so talking, watching a movie (in very short increments!) or something like that pretty much every evening. So I don't know whether that counts as never or every night.

 

I found it very painful for a very long time I'd say about 4-5 months ----- I was bf during that time. I've heard bf can thin out the area down there. I also found my breast to be totally off limits even now they dont' feel like they are mine, like they belong to the babies (and I'm not bf anymore for 6 months I've stopped). Now I'm pregnant with number three and my dh still wonders if it was immaculate conception.

 

we are intimate 2-3x a week, if we're not fighting lol. we have never had a date night though cuz we live far from family, and cant afford a babysitter (and i doubt i would leave them anyway!). alot of times im sooo tired and really not in the mood for anything except a snuggle and bed. i pumped for 8 weeks and when the doc checked me at 6 weeks down there i thought i would die! he said its cuz of the hormones when youre lactating, makes things super sensitive. i hope you and dh can reconnect soon. sometimes i dont really feel that into it at first, but once its over im glad we did. someone very smart on here told me to get into it even if im not, a few times a week, cuz it really helps. she was right!

 

I said "other" for both. In the first year I can count on one hand how many times I had sex with my DH. We never have date nights. I could count on one had how many times we've gone out on a date since the girls were born. Does going to the store together without the girls count?

 

Sex... what is that? Last time was 1.5 months ago... We're just too tired in the evening and have things we want to do I guess.

We haven't got a date night since the babies were born. Two hyper dogs make it hard to get a babysitter.

 

We manage to squeeze in time for some "fun" time together. Date night however, does not happen often. Between DH's work schedule and my school schedule, it's hard to schedule a date night together.

 

For me when they were young I would rather sleep than have sex and so would DH. So, my answer is still the same as it would have been in the First Year...pathetic. Sex maybe once or twice a month and we dont really do date nights but maybe once every other month or so.

 

Sex life...what is that? We have done it about 4 times in the last year, and DH has been very patient - but like the first poster, my DH is wanting to start things up again. I am often just too tired though...
We do a lot of date nights - as we have a live-in housemaid who is available nearly any night to watch the kids (and they go to bed at 530pm), so we do get out a bit in the evening without kiddos.

 

DH and I have sex at least 2 to 3 times per week. Although it did take me a month or so to get back into the flow, but I'm so glad we did. It had been a LONG time during the pregnancy it was pretty much off limits, and then 6 weeks after the babies were born I thought maybe I was a virgin again :laughing: . As for date night...do date lunches count? Every Wednesday I have a class in the building that DH works in, and after we go out to lunch, it's nice to be out without the kiddos. Keep trying to reconnect, it can be hard at first but when you do it helps a lot.

 

We have never really had a date night since the twins came. A dinner once and a couple of lunches alone is about it but from about 6 weeks or so after the twins we have been intimate as often as before the kids so about 4 -5 times a week except for the month or so after our youngest was born.

 

Sex was almost nonexistant for the first few months home. I had absolutely no desire to do it, but every once in a while, he would guilt me into it. Sadly, I never enjoyed myself. Anyway, it's gotten better over the last month. It's just tough not to be worn out........I'm sure most of us feel that way. Date night has only happened twice sice the girls were born. It's just too hard to find somebody that can watch 3 little kids. We have fun when we're home with them, but don't get to talk adult talk much. Just have faith that it will get better!!