Intervene in toy fighting?

Do you intervene when your twins are fighting over the same toy? I try to introduce a similar toy to the other, but then I’m not sure if I shouldn’t just let them fend for themselves. I mean these are their first experiences with conflict. Mom isn’t always going to be there to help them. Maybe I’m thinking about it all too much. What do you do?

 

no, you are not thinking about it too much. i was in the same situation. at first, i used to take everything back from the one who stole the toy and say no, she had it first. sometimes it could go on several times until i finally had to redirect them to something else. there are a few toys i have 2 of but not many. when they are really fighting over one of those toys i will pull the other one out but funny thing is sometimes they still want the one the sibling has. so finally, i stopped constantly intervening. i figure they have to learn how to deal with that situation on their own. however, if and when it starts to get too rough, i intervene immediately and redirect the one trying to steal the toy to something else. lorien used to steal EVERYTHING from arwen. she was tougher and arwen would just give up but within the past few weeks she has toughened up and fights for what she wants. if she sees her sister coming to take it away, she will turn around with it or crawl away so her sister can't get it. sometimes she will just drop it and give it up but when she really really wants it, she will hold on to it for dear life. once in a while, they will get so upset that i will step in and take it away and give it back (i do have temporary weak moments )

 

I agree with Double-Or-Nothing. I think that you can definitely tell them "No" and give it back to the first child but eventually they need to learn to cope with each other and work out their own problems without running to their parents (or another authority figure) every minute of the day.

I know its hard to deal with, but you can definitely do it! Think about how good they will be at sharing when they finally get to school or around other kids their age!

 

I let them figure it out on their own, I figure as long as there isn't any biting, shoving or hitting then they are working it out. It works great because Sean kept getting bullied by James, now he knows how to keep his toys away from James. It's pretty funny to watch too.

 

I let them fight it out. The only time I intervene is if it gets to bad. Liberty used to get bulled before she learned how to crawl. But now they are on even playing levels, and boy can it get ugly.

 

I don't intervene unless someone cries. Kate is crawling, and Lindsay is not, and it's usually Kate who tries to get a toy away from Lindsay. When Lindsay cries, I feel so bad for her, I have to intervene. I usually try to redirect Kate to something else.

 

Thanks for posting this. I was wondering the same thing. It sounds like everyone pretty much agrees. Mine seem to tug at the same toy and then a minute later tug at a different toy the both want. I guess they'll learn eventually!

 

I don't intervene, after the other one takes the toy away the one who just got the toy taken from her will whine for a minute and than crawl off to other toys. So I just leave them alone. Joe hates it when they take toys from eachother, he said they need to learn how to share. I agree but I don't think they'll understand yet.

 

Mine are just starting to do this now that they are sitting up to play and can wiggle around to different locations. Jacob is the stronger at movement and he tries to CLIMB Jared to get to toys he has in his hands...hes also bigger by a pound and a half so I have to take him off his brother if he goes too far other wise its a big floor collision. Looks like from the answers the fun is just to come as they are only 6 1/2 months hehe
Then I have the 3 year old stealing their toys too...oh joy.

 

I just let mine fight it out.....unless there is scratching or hair pulling....I figure they gotta learn to share. One of them will usually give up and move on to a new toy