induction scheduled

back story:

I have been fighting not to have surgery on my gallbladder until after the kids come. I was having contractions in the office so there was no hiding the pain. My doctor piped up about being a real trooper and kids should be fine if they come today and Jeramie (DH) was like, "Can we induce labor and when can we induce? " and I am like, "uhhhhhhhhhhhhh what???". So she and Jeramie scheduled it for the 19th.

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okay I have been telling him the whole time I do not want a c-section and I do not want to be induced! What does he do... :angry: I almost punched him and neither would listen to me... i was in complete shock. :shok: Now the date is nearing and I am getting more scared and anxious. I wanted them to come on a day that they chose... not what fit in the schedule. Even though they are both doing what they believe is in my "best interest" I feel cheated. I have been having contractions but I don't think my cervix has made much change so I am going to be in the hospital, uncomfortable hooked to machines, for god knows how long... I could barely handled a trip to L&D triage... how am I going to handle 12+ hours or even days of this bs? I just hope they come on their own... like on the 17th so I don't have to deal with this.

I had a horrible contraction the other night and Jeramie just set there and starred at me and I was like wtf you went to birthing classes... I don't remember that being a comfort technique. Response oh you are having a contraction. I was almost crying it was so strong. Another time I was having an equally bad one and he puts my ferret on the bed... and Bastian runs and pounces on me and I'm like wtf is wrong with you dude seriously... "I was just trying to distract you"... then he goes in the bathroom and after the contraction ends I go in and he is in there crying. OMG he is driving me crazy. I told my dr about the ferret comfort technique she died laughing and said that the ferret was not allowed in L&D and that he should use a different comfort technique. He fell asleep when I was in triage... (worked all night) and got his feelings hurt when my mom had to take charge. I don't yell at him.. if I start to feel I am going to loose it I walk away... I usually make him laugh to get my point across... because he is the one that is evidently pregnant having more symptoms than me and gained more weight... I have come to terms I AM SCREWED! ok I am a little frustrated. Poor guy. He is trying...

ughhhhh

oh well we know when they will be here



reason for edit: typo

 

Sorry you are upset. Hopefully those contractions you are having will bring those babies sooner than the 19th. It sounds like DH is unsure of himself, and a little bit scared and overwhelmed. I think sometimes guys are just worse at handling the whole pressure thing and try the wrong things in an effort to make us feel better. It is really frustrating, but it sounds like he is trying. Maybe you two need to have a talk when you are not in pain and just talk about what you learned in child birth classes and let him know that his technique of distraction does more to make it worse than better. Maybe that would help. Anyway, good luck and let us know when those babies come. :hug99:

Jen

 

i hope the babies come on their own, and im sorry your dh is being a wee bit less than helpful. lol but the whole ferret thing made me laugh aloud youre doing a great job mama.

 

I was induced with the twins ... so easy, so smooth, so fast. It doesn't have to be a bad induction!

 

Hey there,

I was induced (didn't want that) and had a c-section (definitely didn't want that), and it was okay. One of my aunts had a nightmare story of a pregnancy/delivery, and the whole time I was pregnant, she kept on saying, "don't worry too much about the process, if you have a healthy, happy baby in the end."

I would try to talk to your doctor about your concerns, and if he really thinks it's best for your health's sake, and you trust him on that, just try not to worry too much about it. Really, the induction wasn't bad, and the c-section (at least for me) was pretty easy. You can do some reading and prepare yourself for it.

It sounds to me like your DH is really scared, and might be "acting out" a little bit to ease his jitters. Especially if he was crying in the bathroom. If I were you, I'd have a heart-to-heart talk with him. It can be hard to see someone you love suffer, and not be able to ease it. I was kind of on the other end, my DH had a serious disease (now in remission, thank God!) which made him suffer every day. I would cry about just seeing him like that, and not being able to ease it for him. It didn't help him any, but it was hard not to be sad and depressed, KWIM? Maybe if you take some time to encourage him, he might be a better help to you in the long run.

 

:hug99: I'm sorry you are frustrated with how this is panning out. I hope they make an appearance on their own for your sake. I had to be induced with each of my children, apparently they would all still be inside if I hadn't-lol. It isn't as bad as it sounds. Once you're done, you won't remember any of the bad moments, anyway.

QUOTE(joannabug @ Mar 14 2008, 11:08 AM) [snapback]668994[/snapback]
It sounds to me like your DH is really scared

I agree with this. They just don't know what to do, either. They really are helpless at this point. It's hard, but try to go a little easy on him. I totally get how you are feeling. My dh was totally helpless each time. He slept through everything clear up until the head was showing. What a putz! Good thing I love him.

Good luck with everything, can't wait to read your story!

 

Aww, I know you are in pain and uncomfortable and feel like you are losing control. That's hard. I think your DH is really just trying to help and doesn't know what to do. It's hard for most men to see the woman they love in pain. Sounds like he'll be a great dad!

I hope things work out the way you hope. :hug99:

 

I bet your husband will come through for you in the end. Once you are in the thick of everything, he'll figure out what he needs to do.

As for the induction, don't worry too much. I was induced with all three of mine, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am curious to see the difference between being induced and it happening naturally, and I pray everyday that my Little Baby B turns so that I might have the opportunity to find out. (My OB will not deliver a breech vaginally.)

Maybe you'll go on your own soon. I'll pray for you.... Lisa

 

I know guys can be just as much of a pain as actual contractions. When I went into labor with my oldest, DH had been drinking at a family bbq the night before and was afraid of being pulled over on the way to the hospital so he drove 55 all the way there on the freeway (SL is 65). I thought I was going to have to kill him. And it wasn't like we went in the middle of the night either. It was early morning! (And like I would let him drive me to the hospital drunk.) But in the end he did come through. Just think, he's just as scared of being responsible for 2 new lives as you are.

 

Don't worry too much about the induction, but definitely talk to your doctor about your concerns. I wonder if the doc scheduled the induction because he sensed your DH's concern??? I think the anxiety level goes way up in our husbands due to the uncertainty of childbirth. Trust me, he'll feel like a pro by the end of it all!

In the meantime, you may want to consider having someone else around in case he isn't helpful. When my sister went into labor at home, she woke her husband, who panicked so much he fell out of bed, hit his head on the wall and passed out! My mom and I ended up staying with her during labor & delivery just to be safe. In the end, he was a real trooper and did just fine! I agree with pp though. Have a heart to heart with him beforehand, when you are not in pain. Talk about what you need him to do when a contraction comes...massage, call doctor, prepare bath, etc. You may have to do some coaching here, but in the end, it will bring you both close together!

Good luck to you!

 

Hi Twinreverb

It can be so frustrating at times can't it..... I often think that men just don't get it or understand - not that they mean to - just that they don't... With my first labour my partner slept through most of it... and then for the second he was away in Sydney (6 hours drive from home) and attending a wedding (lots of alcohol) and couldn't drive home for it so missed it. The are a special species - but we do love them.

I totally agree with babydrivers... it may be wise to have back up support... having laboured with lots of women and delivered their babies - often the men just don't know what to do... they are 'fix it' people - and struggle with the whole concept of not being able to do anything .... in our main delivery suite we have a 'Dads Chair' for those who are not coping - but it is sad at times to not see another support person that the mum can feel completely comfortable and relaxed with to take over.

Does your partner really want to be there - or does he feel obliged to.... I know as women we would love nothing more to have our partners with us.... but I have met many a man who really doesn't want to be there and feels they 'should' be, rather than embracing it. Indigenous women in our community only have women birthing with them as it is seen as women's business and I can attest to only having women there with my second birth - it was extremely liberating and empowering.... Maybe just discussing his concerns and any worries he has might have may reduce the possibility of any further ferret moments...

Good luck with your birth - it will all be so wonderful once your little ones are here. Take care

 

I hope you are holding up okay now that the week is here!

 

thanks for all the comments and support.

we have had millions of heart to hearts... averaging 3 a day now. He just doesn't get it. He has the ostrich effect full force (head in the sand... even though we know this metaphor is not representative of the true animal) I give up expecting any comfort from him. For someone so sensitive he is an emotional retard. Birthing classes was a complete waste of money! Last night I had crazy contractions... tears, hobbling to the tub by myself to take a bath to relax... instead of helping... he fluffs his pillows and curls up to go to sleep... oh the 360 head spin was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard to resist at that moment but I said nothing just continued my hobble to the tub.

He wants to be there for the delivery and if it was up to him he would be the only person in there. I told him no way, my mom will be present and he will have to deal.

I went to the dr today and of course the contractions are doing nothing to my cervix so I will have to take drugs to ripen the cervix before I am induced. this is going to take forever. Everything looked good so we shall see how everything goes.

 

Hang in there...... Birthing is such a special moment in your life - and one that we often only get to experience a few times..... Please try and enjoy it from your perspective.... it is really sad to see women who reflect back on their birthing experiences with mixed emotions....

Just be super present for your babies..... this is YOUR moment as much as theirs - the love and nuturing that you have provided them will only be enhanced if you focus on YOURSELF and THEM.....

If you partner is not able to 'be present' emotionally for the birth... then he will really be missing out on something special.... but try not to focus on his issues.... it will be his loss in the end if he doesn't participate..... If you focus on him - then you are taking all your power away and your babies need their mum to focus on herself and them.... and let the support people do that - support you..

I am so glad your mum is coming in with you..... Mums are great in birthing suites.....

You will be amazed at your capabilities as a woman..... You are STRONG, FOCUSED and more than CAPABLE of empowering yourself towards a wonderful birth and welcoming your little bundles into this world with love.

Good luck :hug99:

 

other than your gall bladder, is there a reason to induce already? this is your labor and you have every right to change your mind and say, let's let these babies pick their own birthday.

w/ my son I'd been leaking fluid and they needed to get him out- my cervix wasn't ripe & contractions wouldn't get going and my dh was a complete waste for support- so I totally get your fears here.

it's your decision to make and if it's not contra-indicated on your behalf or babies' , there's no reason they can't wait. every step taken as an intervention messes with your own ability to cope. (there's a lot of research out on this now).

and I'd definitely consider getting someone else in the room with you to help you labor, especially if you have someone you know will be there for you, not just staring at you from the corner while you try to work through it. I think your dh needs to be there- but he doesn't have to be THE support person. I've hired a doula this time specifically because of my last experience.

I'll keep you in my prayers as this is a major life event and I really hope it can be as much the way you want it as it can be.

take care!!!

 

best wishes..... I just wanted to tell you that I was induced at 35w bcuz of TTTS and high blood pressure. I had a great induction, labor and delivery with an epidural "light" (it took the edge of the pain, but I could still feel). It was a great experience.

 

they are here birth story to come... still in hospital with no clue of discharge date.

 

Congrats! Can't wait to hear your story.