In the mind of a toddler-how long does it take to break a habit?

In that past, I would allow my boys to hit/pull the chains on our ceiling fans. I would lift them up and let them do it. This started last summer when it was hot out and I would show them how the fan turns on.


On Tuesday during their DT session, she mentioned how it was "inappropriate behavior" that they wanted to pull the chain on the fan in the living room. I told her it was my fault because I was the one who first introduced it to them.

She also said that turning on the light switches was also "inappropriate". For awhile my one son would stand on the stairs and turn them off/on off/on until I made him stop. But now I feel that he sees me doing it and is "helping" me (even though we don't need them on). He will turn on the light once and then walk up the stairs.

So now I'm trying to break them of these "habits". The ceiling fan is easy, but it's the light switches I find to be confusing for them. If it's time for bed, I will let them turn on the light in the hallway, but during the day I won't. In their little 27 month old minds, they don't know the difference.

Should I just forbid them to touch the switches until they get older and can understand when it is the right and wrong time to turn on the lights?


Do you have any idea how long it will be before they no longer show an interest in these things?

 

Personally, I think this is ridiculous. What is inappropriate about it? Is it hurting anyone? I allow my kids to turn the lights off and on. They love it and feel like they are helping me. I wouldn't work too hard to break the habit if it doesn't bother you. There are much bigger battles to be concerned about in my opinion.

What does DT stand for?

 

Are they just turning them on and off just for fun? Or do they genuinely think they are helping you. I don't find the second scenerio inappropriate at all; IMO that's a good teaching tool. When they turn on the light at the wrong time you could just ask them,"do we need a light to see today...look at all the beautiful sunshine lighting the room?" Or before they turn on the light, ask them if they need the light, then they can start making decisions about when the light is appropriate.

 

"Inappropriate"?!?! That is totally absurd. Nobody gets to define "inappropriate" for your kids except for YOU. If you don't mind them helping with the chains and the switches, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, no matter what anyone says. It's not like it's a safety issue issue or something.

Besides, this is not really difficult behavior to manage. My kids are allowed to use the light switches, as long as they're not doing dumb stuff (turning lights on during the day, leaving lights on after leaving a room, turning them on and off over and over again just to annoy each other). They have no trouble distinguishing between OK and not OK use of the lights. And they like to help when I ask them to turn a light on or off.

 

First of all, I agree with PPs - I don't see how that's inappropriate behavior at all - it's teaching them about when lights might be needed, and giving them the sense of accomplishment from helping you.

Second - to answer your questions: I don't know if I would "forbid" touching the light switches. I guess I would need to understand what's inappropriate about it. If it's the on/off over and over again issue, then I'd try to be consistent about letting him know that's not okay, and pulling him away from it when he continues. If it's using the light switches at all that's the issue - I don't know - maybe you could block it off so that they couldn't get to it for awhile until they forget?

I found that there were many times we were inconsistent. My DH is gone alot in the evenings with DSS's sports, so I make all the decisions about what's okay. In the lull between sports, he's home alot more, and he can decide that he thinks certain things are dangerous or inappropriate. (He's super-cautious about everything!! But that's another topic...) Anyway, so I have had to help my DS "unlearn" lots of behaviors, and it usually didn't take very long, maybe 2 weeks?

 

First, DT is Developmental Therapist.

I am at the point now where I am soooo confused with what is "normal" and what is, in their words "A Typical" behavior. :drown:

As far as the light switches go, they will turn them on at times just to do so and other times when I tell them it's ok. A few months ago, they both would stand there and do it non stop until I would have to physically remove them. Now, they hit the light switch and then walk up the stairs. It's not done every single time or if I tell them not to, they won't and will not throw a tantrum.

For the past two days since she told me this, when they reach for the switches when I'm holding them I'll say "it's sunny out, we don't need lights on today". The will fuss for a brief second and when I let them down they will go and play. If they are standing on the stairs, I can tell them no and use the same reason and they will stop and not turn them on.


And from my experience, it's always the therapists who don't have kids are the ones who are telling me what is wrong. Everything is textbook and it's driving me :gah:

I am at the point of wanting to change two of the therapists (DT & OT (Occupational Therapist). They will age out at 3 through EI (Early Intervention), so in another 8 months or so it will get switched to the school district. If they still need therapy, they would no longer be their therapists.

I do have an issue with my one son who will do this at other peoples houses. When it happens, I will tell him if he does it again, he goes in TO and that usually stops him.

But then he gets confused because my DH's family does not care that he does it and allows it, so he is getting mixed messages.

Of all the things to have to worry about, I have to be concerned with light switches. :headbang:

 

Maybe you could try this approach: whenever you go to someone's house, have him ask them if it's OK to use the light switches (or you bring him up to the host with you and ask for him). That way, the rule isn't "no touching light switches at other people's houses," which does get inconsistent and confusing when it turns out to be OK with some people, but "always ask if it's OK to do at another person's house."

That must be so frustrating having all these people with no kids talking down to you and telling you how to raise your kids! Especially when their therapist status gives them an air of authority. But you are still the ultimate authority on what's OK. The therapists will have valid input about stuff like how to help their gross/fine motor development, communication skills, and stuff like that, but they are in no position to tell you whether your kids can turn the lights on or climb on the couch or any other little stuff like that.

 

I think I understand why the DT is worried that this is inappropriate since it sounds like there are some possible ASD concerns with your boys. (Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember this from the SN forum.) Some ASD kids can become fixated on repetitive behaviors or rituals that then can interfere with their development. However, from what you've described, I think it sounds like typical behavior. My two are both into turning lights on and off. They don't do it repetitively, but they do get a kick out of turning the lights on and off at appropriate times.

Why don't you ask the DT why she thinks it is inappropriate behavior? Listen to her explanation and see if she has a point. Like I said, from what you've written here, I don't think she really does. But it's always good to hear her out.

You can also use this to your advantage by making the light switch into a mini speech therapy session. Ask one to turn the light "On!" and then ask the other to turn it "Off!" You can model to them saying things like, "It's MY turn" and "YOUR turn!" And before you know it, they'll be using pronouns, prepositions (off/on) and taking turns. And then you can tell the DT to suck it! (KIdding.... kind of)

 

That would not work with him since he has a delay in both receptive and expressive speech.

DT has told me that turning on light switches is a "characteristic" of autism. She considers it A Typical behavior. "Most 27 month olds do not do this type of behavior. She only has concerns for my one son even though my other son will do it also while she is is here.

For him, he turns them on, and walk's up the stairs, that is it at least in our house. If I catch him doing it, I will tell him no and he will stop and continue walking up the stairs. He is not standing there for a long period of time turning them off and on. When they first discovered them, they both would move things to get to them and play with them until I would tell them to stop.

Now at other peoples houses, I will prevent or catch him doing it and tell him no. He'll stop, laugh at me and move onto something else but will go back to it later on. He'll turn them on, look to see which light got turned on by that switch and then off and then move onto playing with something else.

To me, it looks like he's figuring out cause and effect. Push this up, light goes on. Push it down it turns off.

Now if this a characteristic of ASD, would'nt he freak out when I took him away from it. Also I would think he would be doing it non stop or every single time he walked up the stairs (which he does not)

I'm just so confused. :unknw:

 

I also think it's crazy that your DT thinks it's inappropriate for them to play with the light switches. My ds plays with them a lot and the more I fight it the more he wants to do it. He's also now learned what "on" and "off" mean. He says it as he's doing it. IMHO I think that it can be a learning tool and if he does become a little obsessed with it then maybe saying okay 3 times and then all done.
Both of my boys are in therapy and one of the therapists had a very strong opinion about jumaproos and really didn't approve of the fact that I used them. Well we didn't :catfight: but I did make it perfectly clear that it wasn't her decision and I had no problem with putting my kids in it, period. I'm their mom and I love the advice I get and the awesome help, however I make the decisions for my kids.
GL!

 

Judy, I don't want to totally dismiss what your DT is telling you, but below is the full diagnostic criteria for autism. As you can see, it's really open to interpretation. Repetitive and ritualistic behaviors can manifest as repeatedly turning on and off lights, opening and closing doors, etc. However, like I said, it doesn't sound like that is what is going on here. If he is enjoying the lights because of the cause/effect thing, then I'd qualify that as a delayed behavior since it's found in younger typically developing kids. Your DT is right that by age 2, most kids are moving beyond cause and effect play and into imaginative and more social play. I don't see it as atypical behavior at all. Now, if he was licking the light switch, yeah, I'd definitely call that inappropriate/atypical because it's not a behavior seen in kids who are developing along the normal curve.


A. A total of six (or more) items from (1), (2), and (3), with at least two from (1), and one each from (2) and (3):

(1) qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

(a) marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors, such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction

(b) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level

(c) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest)

(d) lack of social or emotional reciprocity

(2) qualitative impairments in communication, as manifested by at least one of the following:

(a) delay in, or total lack of, the development of spoken language (not accompanied by an attempt to compensate through alternative modes of communication such as gesture or mime)

(b) in individuals with adequate speech, marked impairment in the ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others

(c) stereotyped and repetitive use of language or idiosyncratic language

(d) lack of varied, spontaneous make-believe play or social imitative play appropriate to developmental level

(3) restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities as manifested by at least one of the following:

(a) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus

(b) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals

(c) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting or complex whole-body movements)

(d) persistent precoccupation with parts of objects

B. Delays or abnormal functioning in at least one of the following areas, with onset prior to age 3 years: (1) social interaction, (2) language as used in social communication, or (3) symbolic or imaginative play.

C. The disturbance is not better accounted for by Rett's disorder or childhood disintegrative disorder.

 

Well, my kids are 27 months old (28 months tomorrow) and they both love turning the lights on and off, so think her blanket statement that most 27 month olds don't play with light switches is incorrect.

Thanks for the explanation of DT. I'm familiar with PT, OT, etc. (and my kids use PT through EI), but that is one I haven't encountered before and I work in a public school. Interesting.

Good luck with this situation.

 

My boys are 28 months and love to turn lights on and off (not repetitively anymore they are past that stage). They are fascinated again now that they can reach them themselves though. They also each open every door when going in/out of a room. Again because they can do this themselves now (mostly because we took some of the doorknob covers off). They love to push the button to open the garage door and pull the chains for the ceiling fans when we lift them up to do so. I don't see a problem with it. It's a tiny bit of independence for them to be able to go to their room, open the door, turn on the light and get a toy/diaper, etc all by themselves. Good luck, but it sounds like pretty normal behavior to me.

 

I agree with what most have said ... to say that it is not normal for a 27 month old to want to play with the light switches is absurd! My girls don't turn them off and on repeatedly anymore (they are 3 in july though so older than yours) but they like to turn them on or off when we are leaving a room. I think that if they seem to be fixated on it and don't want to do anything else, it is one thing ... but to play for a few minutes with the switches then move on ... more power to them ... IMO ...

My SIL is a Pediatrician and I think she would agree that a lot of what she used to say about how to handle this or that all went out the window when she had her own kid. I would take what is helpful and leave the rest ... nod politely and say, "sure, I will give that a try" then punt it as soon as she is out the door