In shock right now

I got 2 positive pregnancy tests today. This was definitely not planned, although we weren't using any birth control because we always said, "if it happens, it happens." I've only had 2 periods and bam! I think my due date would be in September. I am really shocked! It took us 3 years and an IVF cycle to conceive our twins.

DH is under a lot of stress and having twins has been really stressful for him. How do I tell him? Should I wait since there is a high miscarriage rate in the first few weeks? Does anyone here have twins and another baby close together? We have a really small 2 bedroom house. I don't know how this will work. It better not be twins!

 

Wow. What a surprise. Take a deep breath. It will be ok. It always is. Somehow you'll manage to make it work. It's your call if you want to wait to tell your dh, but I know I couldn't keep that a secret. He might be sad if he finds out you didn't tell him. You need his support right now. It really is a blessing that after all you went through to have twins, you got pregnant on your own. Good luck. It will just take some time to get use to the idea.

 

Everything in bold applies to us, too. I'm rooting for a singleton.

I think I would tell him immediately; if you hide it, it makes it look like you don't trust him. Just tell him straight out, so you too can arrive at a decision about what you're going to do together. If this is a pregnancy you want to keep, then I promise you will adjust to the thought of another baby. It just takes time to get used to the idea. And if you deicided you don't want to have another child, I think that's completely understandable too. :grouphug:

 

I would definitely tell your dh sooner than later... you might want to think of a fun way to tell him... like baking a pink & blue cake or cookies... or wrapping up a fun bib that says I Love Daddy and letting him open it... or getting a book for the kids of how to be a big brother/sister...

anyway, he knows that you weren't using birth control... so I think even though it'll be a shock, he'll come around.

good luck with your decision! a 2 bedroom house, yes that presents a big of a challenge, but you'll figure it out, the kids will all learn to share!

 

I have no experience for the closeness in kids...ask me again in June...but they will be 18 months old then. Try to keep in mind that your babies will be almost 2 when the new one arrives and they will be a little more independent by then. Good luck telling DH! I wouldn't wait either...although I don't think I could!

 

I think this is a good idea, it really does put your situation into perspective! I would also do it soon and have fun with (hard to do) but it will help curb his attitude towards it too! Kinda what we do with our toddlers

 

:hug: I have to agree with the tell him sooner then later!!
Mine are REALLY close in age and we were shocked as well. We tried for years and years to have the twins and then to get pregnant when the twins were 4 months old, while I was exc pumping, and hadn't gotten my period.
I also agree with the deep breath :lol:
About the 2 bedroom house... After my youngest was born he roomed with us for the first couple months then he actually slept in a pack in play in the living room till he was 4 months and were able to put him on a schedule. He now shares a room with the twins. He does still nap in the pank in play in our room so it is do-able with only two rooms. They twins have learned to sleep through his crying and him through theirs.
Congrats on the news!! :hug:

 

Yes, I was in the same situation.. kind of. IVF & then spontanious 'twins.'


Congratulations! I would tell him sooner than later. Good luck! His reaction may surprise you!

 

I don't have experience with children close together, other then my twins, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck and I also agree to tell your DH as soon as you can...I agree that his reaction might just surprise you.

 

Mine are 18 months apart. Twins first (after 5 years, 1 IVF and numerous Injectible cycles) I got pregnant after having NO cycle since the twins were born, and they were 9 months when I did get pregnant.

Honestly, it took us till AFTER our son was born to really get out of shell shock. DH started warming to the idea when we found out it was a boy (the twins were girls) After he was born though... It's been SO MUCH FUN watching how helpful the girls have been, watching them all interact together, watching them fight (yes, it's hilarious)

It's a LOT of work, and a lot of stress, but it all balances itself out. I've become quite resourceful as far as finding diaper deals, formula deals (Bfing my son for over a year defntely helped, I couldn't BF the twins, it was to much stress on me) making my own babyfood, etc....

We honestly never thought we could make it with both of us working full time and 3 kids under 2 in daycare. We made it work though. We had to use ALL of our income tax return (some $10K) to offset the cost of daycare, but like I said, we made it work.

It'll be a breeze taking care of one baby as opposed to two. DH and I actually fought sometimes over who would get up with the baby! God knew we needed twins, cuz we each needed our own baby to care for! LOL


It'll be fine and everything will work out. DOn't wait though to tell... just give him his space once you do tell DH. I was really worried about m/c since I had had 3 prior m/c, but my worries were not warranted as when I did go to the Dr, I found out I was already 14 weeks preggo! I had breezed through the entire 1st trimester w/o even knowing I was pregnant!

 

We were in the same boat. We tried to conceive for ten years and did one IVF cycle to have the twins. The month I stopped nursing, I got pregnant (the twins were 7 months old). I was in complete shock, and honestly, depressed. We had just started having some sense of normalcy with the twins being on a schedule and sleeping at night. I totally regret those days of wishing I wasn't pregnant, because my baby is such a wonderful miracle and brings pure joy to the household.

We also have a small house and the baby's co-sleeper is in the pantry, and it works just fine. They can all share the bedroom when they're on the same schedule. We run the white noise machines very loudly in each room so no one gets woken up.

I thought my DH would have a fit when I told him I was pregnant, but he was very excited, and appreciated what a miracle it was. I was more stressed out than he was. Go ahead and tell him so you can go through these early days together.

It's so much easier taking care of one baby than two. It's not just half the stress, it's ten times less stressful. It's really rough when all three want to eat at the same time, but I've worked the baby's schedule around meal times as much as I can. The very hardest part was the six weeks following my c-section where I couldn't pick up the twins. My MIL came and stayed for a few weeks and then I had to hire help to get through that.

When things get tough I think about how these three girls will never know a time without their sisters and will have each others' love for the rest of their lives, long after we're gone, and it's all worth it.

 

No experience since the twins are my only, just wanted to say Congrats and wish you lots of luck. :hug: :hug:

 

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone! I told my DH today. I kind of had to because I was acting weird, not eating, etc. and he asked what was wrong with me. I said that we should talk about it later since the babies were up and then he guessed that I was pregnant. He was really shocked and sort of collapsed on the floor, but later warmed up to the idea and said he was "happy". (He already has the baby name book out!) I know there will be ups and downs, but I think it will all work out. Now we have to figure out when/how to tell our friends and family. They will be really surprised!

 

Oh Man! yay!

Milo was 11 months when I got pregnant with the twins, so they are 18 months apart.

I will say, I waited about a week after I found out to tell Jim. There were a couple stressful things going on and I waited tell they at the very least calmed down. Just didn't want to add to stress on top of stress. Jim did appreciate it. BUT, I only waited a week. I wouldn't wait much more then a week or 2.

GOOD LUCK!

 

I'm so glad you told DH and that he's happy about it! I'm sure it came as a shock to him, but it really sounds like after the initial surprise that he's excited. Guys don't get out the baby name book if they're not looking forward to a baby!

Lots of women go through the same thing, and while there are challenges, I hear so much joy when they share their stories.

I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy and congratulations!

 

Thanks for the update!! Glad your dh is on board! How exciting that he's looking in the name book! I'm happy for you!

 

Congrats and GL! Wishing you a happy and healthy nine months

 

I'm glad to hear your DH took it well and congratulations to you both!!

 

Oh Amber :hug: so pleased you are both over the shock of it! Big congratulations to you all

 

Ahhh sweetie I know where you are comin from!! It took us 4 years and IVF to get the twins and we were the same way - if it happens then it's a freakin miracle. SO I quit breastfeeding when they were 6 months, got my FIRST period about 4 weeks later, the next period NEVER came! I was a few days late (although who knew what late was with me...) took a test and it was positive. I took it at 3am while we were house sitting for a friend (I had just gotten up with the twins). I walked up and down the hallways going HOLY SH**!!! I tried to go back to sleep to no avail. I kept looking at the test going it's still positive. Like I dreamed it or something. LOL Well that lovely little dream is kicking like crazy right now. LOL I finally woke DH up at 6am and told him and he couldn't believe it either. It was a shock!!! We've gotten used to the idea (although I'm still a little nervous about having 3 babies and the high possibility of him being deployed in the next year). We're super excited now and can't wait to meet our newest little man. After the shock wears off I think you and your hubby will be ok. Especially going through IVF if you are like me at all you will be really amazed for awhile that you really are pregnant - and all by yourself!! LOL OH - and the first 3 ultrasounds I made them check everywhere to make sure there was only one. It'd be our luck to have more than one!! LOL As for the 2 bdrm house - I'm not sure. We're squeezing into a 3 bdrm house when we move. The baby will be in with us until my oldest moves out (he's graduating in June and planning on moving out shortly after). You could put them all in one room when the baby is a little older maybe? Any chance of getting a bigger house? My twins will be 16 months when the baby is due. It's coming quick (2 1/2 months-ish) and I'm having a hard time imagining how I'm going to do it all but I'm sure it will come together. I'd definitely tell your hubby. You need to go through this together. Take care and message me anytime!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! Oh - and I'm just now reading the rest of the thread LOL SO happy DH took it well. My DH is pretty excited too. Congrats again!

 

Oh wow, congratulations! I'm sure I would be in shock too.

 

Congratulations, that is such wonderful news!!!

 

Congrats! hey, you have survived the first year with twins, so you can survive anything : )

 

Congratulations Amber!! It will all work out in the end :grouphug: