In Home Childcare

What are acceptable expectations to have for the person that keeps your children, in your home? My SIL keeps my twins & 2 yr at our house. We pay her $300 a wk she works right at 40 hrs. I told her that her duties as their 'sitter', outside of feeding, diapering & all the obvious were to make their bottles at the end of each day, wash their laundry & put it up, keep the babies nursery clean & organized (chg shts if needed, chg table pad), empty their diapers, tidy up after my 2 yr old and keep the kitchen clean. I don't think that's too much to ask OR is it?? I need to know because I get home everyday from work and something is not done..actually alot is not done & I spend the evening trying to get it done. Plus she is very messy. The kitchen was an add because she would leave her plates, cups, etc in the sink for me & stuff all over the ctops & floor. So now keeping the kitchen clean is on her list. Anyway, its very frustrating!! I've tried leaving her a list..she'll do half of whats on it & I'll think she'll do the other half tomorrow..nope, doesn't happen. And if I don't leave her a list then nothing gets done. I know the babies can be a handful & throw my 2 yr old into the mix & it can get crazy but there's got to be time to at least empty the diapers..RIGHT?

Well, I just recently hired someone to come in the evenings..A Mother's Helper. She is wonderful. She comes in at 5pm. She gets in there & gets it done. She helps with feeding, baths, laundry, even cleans when she has down time. Told me yesterday that she'd even start dinner if I needed her to. She's there 16 hrs a week & gets $150 wk...

Yesterday I told them both that I was paying for help and that I wanted things done so that I could spend time with my babies, 2 yr old & hubby..my sil said it hurt her feelings. The MH just said she understood (she knew it wasn't directed at her anyway).

Back to my question...Am I asking to much, expecting too much from my SIL during the day. AND, what's really fair to ask of the MH's in the evenings.

Thanks ya'll!!

 

I think it all depends on what the two of you discussed before she started working for you. If she knew in advance that you wanted her to do those extra things, then she should be doing them. If she thinks it's too much and doesn't want to do that stuff she should have told you that in the beginning. It seems to me you're paying her quite a bit of money and it's completely reasonable to her do the extra stuff.

 

First of all, her dishes MUST be put cleaned and put away. That would really bother me. I think what you are asking her to do is fine. The only thing I might take off is doing the laundry. If you did not have a 2 year old I would say laundry is fine. But when the babies are sleeping, she is probably with your 2 year old I am guessing. On the other hand, it isnt that hard to throw in a load of laundry but if something has to go for everything else to so smoothly that is what I would do. 2 days a week I have a gril come to help and when I come home, everything is put away, bottles made (when they were on forumla) and her dishes cleaned. I never had her do the laundry because since I only have the babies and dont work, that is something I have time for.

Maybe have sil put the laundry in and then put in dryer and MH can fold it when she gets there.

 

I pay my sister $150 a week to come ot our house. Granted she is a college student and just doing this for the summers.

I ask her to throw a load of laundry in here and there and to clean up after herself of course. But basically her only duties are the babies.

I think it all depends on what was agreed to in the first place. I dont' think you are asking too much, especially about just cleaning up after herself!!

 

Well, I know how hard it is sometimes in the middle of things -- especially with the four month old twins -- to keep everything neat and do the extras as you go along. But during naps she should be able to straighten up and do at least some of the "extras." And then quickly get little things done when you get home. There is no excuse for her leaving dirty dishes in your sink!

But remember that the important thing is her taking care of the kids. And honestly $300 sounds to me like a really good deal. Our first nanny we paid $525/week. That's before we got an au pair. And that's about $300/week all told. I pay our current nanny who was our au pair $350 plus room and board and unlimited use of my car, and really all I care about in the end is that she is awesome with the girls. She's not a total slob, but there are often things not done (diaper pail, changing sheets, etc.) but she's wonderful wonderful with the girls so I forgive her. Can you say the same?

(Tricky business, having a family member working for you too, huh?)

 

We pay our caregiver $6/hr. Granted, they aren't there anywhere near 40 hrs a week, but the point is, they go to her house. So if I were to pay 6x40 = $240 per week with NO housework whatsoever. I think you've got a good deal. But I agree w/PP, that she should at least pick up after herself, or do whatever you agreed upon when she took the job.

 

I think for $300 a week, that is a lot to ask. Put it this way, if you sent them somewhere for daycare, it would cost a lot more, around here it would be $200 a week/child--and that is cheap--so double what you are paying. That person would not be asked to do laundry and make bottles. Cleaning up after herself in the kitchen is a different story. I would probably expect her to pick up the rooms she is in during the day, but consider stuff like laundry and making bottles a bonus. I remember when my twins were babies, laundry was sometimes done while they were sleeping, but bottles were always done at night after bedtime.

 

I agree that it's a bit much to ask, but if she agreed to all of it then you guys should be able to work something out. In my area I would pay at least $300/wk to send my 3 kids to daycare, & like PP said, none of the bottles, laundry, etc. would be taken care of. I'm home all day & very rarely does anything get done besides throwing in a few loads of laundry. On a really good day the kitchen will be clean (meaning no dishes in the sink basically) & I might get to actually fold the laundry or vacuum. I should add that my babies do nap at the same time for the most part, but I spend that time playing with my oldest & trying to maintain some basic order in the house. The actual cleaning/organizing happens when DH is home or I have some other help around.

 

I agree that it seems like a lot. I'm home with my 3 month olds, and I don't have an older child. And I couldn't get all that done during hte day. I'm not sure if your twins are on a better schedule, but some days my twins don't nap alot ... some days i can get things done, some days i can't. Maybe NJ is just insanely expensive, but for day care I would be paying $2300 a month to send both kids, approx $600 a week. It's $300 a week for ONE! and you are asking her to take care of 3, plus do loads of other stuff. Just my 2 cents. Maybe you can talk to her about comprimising somewhere in the middle. I just can't imagine getting all that done!

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Jul 13 2007, 08:26 PM) [snapback]330157[/snapback]
I think for $300 a week, that is a lot to ask. Put it this way, if you sent them somewhere for daycare, it would cost a lot more, around here it would be $200 a week/child--and that is cheap--so double what you are paying. That person would not be asked to do laundry and make bottles. Cleaning up after herself in the kitchen is a different story. I would probably expect her to pick up the rooms she is in during the day, but consider stuff like laundry and making bottles a bonus. I remember when my twins were babies, laundry was sometimes done while they were sleeping, but bottles were always done at night after bedtime.


I was thinking this as well. I am paying my live out nanny $200-250 (depending on her time here daily) and she is only watching the twins 2 days a week. She is only to feed them and clean up her dishes etc. I do not expect her to do laundry or clean my house at all. I don't think she gets paid enough to do that.

That being said, if she is asked to do it and agreed to it, she should honor her agreement with you.