Implimenting reward systems

My boys are 2 years and 3 months...Im trying to teach them cleaning up, bringing bowls to the sink, brushing teeth themsleves...potty training etc. Are they too young to understand a system? Like at the end of the week you get a small reward (like some fav candy or a trip to the dollar store)...Im wondering if I am thinking they are too young is on me...they are a lot smarter then I give them credit for!!

Let me know what age and what you do!

 

I think it can work with 2 year olds but part of it will be determined by their "maturity". If you create a very visual, hands on type of system it might be easier. For example, instead of writing on a chart, use stickers or have them glue a small object on it, or maybe they can collect a bean, button, or other object in a special container with their name on it... preferably see through so they can see it when it is out of reach .

I think reward systems can be a lot of fun, but it also requires a lot of consistency...and can be sometimes tiring. While teaching 24 kindergarteners, I found it best to focus on one or two specific behaviors at a time, and to change the system (stamping a booklet, tickets, collecting objects) every quarter to keep the interest going.

Although as adults a lot of what we do is driven by reward....go to work...get paid...go on vacations I do strongly emphasize with children, that what they are doing is because they should be doing it (ex. homework) and not because they are going to get a reward. I used to tell them that this system was a fun way to say, "Thank you."

Sharon

 

My boys are a bit bigger, but here's what I've been doing the last couple of weeks. I really felt we needed to reinforce the good behavior, so I made a chart with their name and all the days of the week. Then I came up with things that we needed to work on, good listening, good behavior, going potty, getting dressed, brushing teeth, no fighting etc.. My boys love stars, so everytime they do something on the list they get a star. Also, sometimes they get a star if they did something that was really good that is not on the list. When they get 6 stars I have a grab bag of dollar store stuff that they get to pick out of. Most days if I really stay with it and keep consistent, they will end up with 6 stars by the end of the night. It does get a little pricey to give them something every night, but I feel like it would not be as effective if they had to wait a whole week to get something. This has been working so well for us, that all you have to do now is say that behavior, listening, etc... does not earn a star and they will immediately change what they are doing.

 

the girls try so hard to help mummy clean their toys now even, but seeing as they arnt walking, crawling and carrying a toy is hard work.

we started the rewards about 3 weeks ago anything they hhelp out with or if they do somthing good they get rewarded, and they love it.

 

We started a star chart when the boys turned 3. Our chart was for trying new foods. I have very picky eaters. I bought a poster board for each & huge stars at the dollar store. They got a star for each new food they tried & when they got 5 stars they got a reward. We also wrote what the food was on the star. We pinned up the charts underneath the bar so the boys could see it every day.

The next chart we did was a night time dry chart. This one I used computer paper & garage sale circles. Same concept - when they were dry 5 nights in a row they got a reward.

 

My kids are a tad younger than yours, but I just can't see them really understanding a sticker/reward chart at this age. Maybe I am a bit niave, but it seems my kids would have no clue. I am curious as to what has worked for others at this age.

Instead, we talk about what we will do next. So let's say I want them to clean up their toys so we can go outside. First, I get them talking about what they will play with outside. Then I spring on them the ol, "Let's go clean up our toys so that we can _______." Then they get so excited to ride their trikes, let's say, that they VERY quickly and willingly clean up their toys. Does that make sense?

And for some kids, a reward system just does not work. I know that is the case with a handful of my kindergartners. Unless they are motivated on their own accord to do something, no sticker, star, toy, etc. can get them do what they are supposed to do. That is why anticipating the next activity (like I described above) is typically fool-proof in my book.

 

Thank you!! They may not understand it in the beggining, but Im thinking if I stick to it, they will learn to understand...I think rewards are good to learn new things...Im not planning to continue that when they are older. But then, when I was older (maybe 7-8-9) I started with allowances. I think i got a quarter every time I did something I had to do...and a dollar if I went above and beyond...but the end of the week, I usually had a couple of bucks....

I think what I may do is do a reward system everyday with small things...like a piece of candy, small lollipop, etc. I have a SIL that does this with her daughter, and never did with her son...and its AMAZING the differences in attitute...of course, hes pretty defiant regardless. Im going to get those bit sized ones, and maybe do that one day and the other day do something else.

I appreciate all the suggestions.

 

As a teacher, I would really discourage you from doing this--especially for every day things. What happens is that the kids learn that they get something for everything they do, and don't know how to do things just because. Children need to understand intrinsic rewards--claps, hugs, kisses, etc rather than physical ones. Reward charts are great for a specific task-like the picky eater, but really shouldn't be used for every chore you expect them to do. My kids occasionally get a quarter for doing something special-and it goes in their piggy banks, but they are almost 5, and we never gave them anything special for daily chores. Kids should do most tasks because it makes them feel good for accomplishing something, not because they are getting a candy, or treat.

 

Hey mandy, my DS is about 5 months older than your boys and I was thinking(thnaks for the reminder) he might just be getting to the point where he would understand the reward system now. I think I am going to do stickers (the "experts" say not to use for as a reward) for clean-up and eating at the table, then get him used to it for potty training in June. Maybe we would get him to the point where he can get some cheap cars or something while we are doing the potty training.

Good Luck...honestly I am at the point where I can use all the help I can find!

 

I can understand what your saying Sharon. What Im hoping, is that because my boys love stars...they will just get excited putting them on the board when they complete a task. I still think its a good way to learn when they are little...even if its not through treats...they can see the accomplishments they are doing on the board and be pround of them since its visual. If anything I think its more of a fun thing...

 

I feel like Kate -- mine a re a little younger than yours and I think they would have NO CLUE what I was doing if I tried to implement something like this. To me it seems like it would be a lot of hard work on my part for not much impact. I would wait until they were older in order to make it more worth the effort.

 

I started that young with very simple things. You just have to be very clear in your instructions and assign them tasks that they are capable of doing. The "chores" they do are mandatory and I don't use a reward system for them. Cleaning up after a meal and tidying up toys are now things they do automatically. I would save a reward system for trying to change behaviour that you're having a difficult time with. We used a reward system for potty training (sticker chart). We went out and picked out their favourite stickers and they were awarded one for every success. For household chores, dressing themselves and tidying, we just stay consistent. Even now, I don't just say "clean up your room". I say "Jamie, I want you to put all the stuffed animals back in the basket, and Nicole, I want you to pick up all the colouring books and put them back on the shelf". When they're done the assigned tasks, then I tell them what to do next. This works well for us. At that age, I think consistency will work as well as a reward and actually be easier for you.

 

Mandy, with all of my boys, I have NEVER rewarded them for simple chores like that. We are a family that works together, we all make messes and we will all pitch in and help each other.

What has worked really well for us with all three boys, modeling what you want them to do and be consistent. We always say "thank you" to them and motivate them by telling them how well they do. I use lots of humor and I try not to make it a pain, it should be fun, yes, even bringing a plate to the sink can be done with a smile and no problem.
When we pick up toys I'll make it a game. I'll say "I bet I'm the fastest and can pick up the most toys" . My older one loves it as he'll try to beat me and pick it all up, and that's my goal.
With my twins, we sing the clean up song. They try and sing along as they pick up an item or two. At that age it's all learning in a fun way, of course they will not pick up the room...lol
I always make sure that I help too, as we work as a team, what makes me so special not to help? But I think the key is really to be consistent and make it fun!

Good Luck!

 

We're not there yet with this, but I've been thinking about it some, as my DS has already started throwing tantrums. I found this an interesting article while scouring the net... it's basically about risks of reward and definitely something to keep in mind. They say that "researchers have recently discovered that children whose parents make frequent use of rewards tend to be less generous than their peers."


http://tepserver.ucsd.edu/courses/tep129/r...ksofRewards.pdf

 

There is a really interesting book I read while teaching elementary school- Punished by Rewards. The book says we are hindering our children by rewarding them. What are they really learning if we dish out a reward for every little thing they do? What happens when the rewards stop? The book kind of opened my eyes and made me think differently on the whole "rewards" thing.

 

I agree with Sharon & mws. Certain chores should be done. There is pleasure in work and a job well done. That being sad, if they aren't doing a chore, like helping mom push the wet laundry into the dryer, then they get a time out for disobeying. They get tons of praise at the moment and then again later when daddy gets home. Usually I just say, everyone in this house has to take responsibility. The word "Responsibility" seems to make them stand up taller and they want to help mom. I also sing songs with their name in it to help motivate them.

I would say if you want to do a sticker chart, then let the sticker be the reward. We also try to do a weekly family outing or a special thing like ice cream at the end of the week for having good attitudes and helping mommy etc.