Impatient child

A couple times now, Bea has thrown a fit even though she is getting to do what she wants, but it just didn't happen fast enough. Like today, she was signing swing and pointing outside. I said OK, let's go downstairs (need to go downstairs to get to the backyard), put on shoes and go to the swing. She throws a fit, screaming and crying. It's so annoying, I can't get her to understand that we are going to do what she wants. I had to haul her down the stairs and hold her down to put her shoes on. She's done this before about going outside and getting her sippy cup, blanket, things like that. I can't pull things out of thin air, I have to go get it.

 

I'm so sorry that you are having this problem. I'm sure she will grow out of it, and hopefully it's just a phase. Mine only get mad at me when I don't understand what they are trying to tell me. They will put there head back, and moan/grunt "UHHHH" at me.

Good luck

 

I feel your pain Kelly! Mine both do this - I get frustrated trying to tell them we are doing what you want, just hold on a minute! Mine esp do this when it's mealtime - when i tell them i'm going to the kitchen to make them food, they FLIP out if they can't get food that second. Cameron has started to be VERY dramatic about it too - he'll literally throw himself on the floor to make sure I realize how upset he is

 

Someday Kelly we are going to look back at this and laugh- but I'm hearing you right now! Kaysie is somewhat the same- here we go again - not as bad though. I hope it gets better for you. Speaking of which- how are naps ?

 

Oh I know, it's kind of funny but annoying. It's like OK you are throwing a tantrum because you are getting what you want.

Naps - Here's where we are at now with Ainsley. I put her in the PNP for an hour while she screams the whole time. Then I take her out, most of the time she has been falling asleep on me afterwards, one day she even slept for two hours! I can't put her down though or she wakes up. Today, I ate lunch with them and I didn't have anything I really *had* to do, so I decided to skip the hour screamfest and just lay down with her. All she wanted to do was pull my hair and play, so no nap today. Oh, we also tried napping them together again a few days ago. Ainsley just screamed like usual. It was funny though, we could hear Bea yelling "Aws!" (what she calls Ainsley) in such an irritated manner, like "Ainsley, shut up I'm trying to sleep!"

 

Kelly, I have the same problem. I think those two words are synonymous! They'll get it eventually!

 

for us, we had to immediately say, "Juice yes. Mommy says Yes, you can have juice. But you have to wait. Mommy will get the juice and pour it into the cup. Now be quiet. Be patient. Quietly wait your turn."

Then DH and I role played it. The girls were wanting juice and so we scrambled quick and got the juice while the melt down was beginning. Then DH asked if I wanted juice. I began whining the entire time I was asking, "Juice? Juice. Juice!" I was almost hysterical. The girls just stopped drinking their juice and stared at me. Then we told the twins "Did mommy ask nicely? No, she did not. We don't do that. Mommy was naughty acting like that. she was *not patient*." Then we role played it correctly. DH asked. I said, "Juice, Please." Then smiled really big and sat quietly. and mommy got her juice from DH. That role playing worked wonders.

We defined patience as "quietly waiting your turn" and we just repeat that definition every time. If they persist then it's time for discipline.

 

Heather, I love that role playing idea! Especially the image of them sitting there staring at you while you screamed "juice! juice! juice!" Seriously, though, that is a great idea.

Kelly, I feel your pain too. Sometimes Amy or Sarah will have a fit while I'm buckling them into the high chair and they're already holding their milk, because they have to wait 3 seconds before they can drink it.

 

It's happening here too! Gabe throws a fit if he can see the food (when I'm serving or cutting it), but doesn't have it in his hands yet. I just try to talk in a very calm voice about being patient (though I'm definitely going to try Heather's role play idea... what a fabulous idea!!!). I'm also trying to "force" them to be a bit more patient. Until recently, I always jumped and scrambled when they wanted/needed something... which basically just reinforced their impatience. So, now, I try to move at a more normal pace and/or finish what I was doing before the request came in. This has been happening when I sit down to feed the baby and N or G want something. Natalie completely understands that she will get whatever it is when I am done... Gabe is slowly catching on.

-Catherine

 

Heather, great suggestion! Glad it worked for you, I'll have to try that. I should also start getting things at a normal pace instead of them thinking everyone jumps when they want something. Ainsley is better about it, but man is Bea impatient. She also flips out if I need to take the cup out of hands to get her in or out of the seat. She flails and signs and says "Cup!" like it's the world's biggest injustice.

 

a variation on the "Pass it" game by **mws** is the game, "Give it to Mommy"

when you aren't in the situation of needing to take her cup, start the game. she has a toy, "Bea, give it to mommy" She has to put it in your hand. Don't let her put it near you and then you pick it up. then cheer and praise her then give it back. then repeat the cycle. I would also role play this one with DH or even a baby doll. Have the baby doll "give" you something. Then have the twins "Give it" That way, you can tell Bea, Give mommy the cup. you are training her to give something to you so that when she is tall enough to grab the knife off the countertop you can say give it to mommy and she will know the correct response.

I'm slowly learning that role playing is a great solution to a lot of toddler problems. They don't know what we expect for behavior. They know we don't like tantrums but we haven't always taught them the correct responses. Role playing is a great way to teach the correct responses.