I'm tired of this comment

Hi, Everyone.

I usually get only the good comments from people who are admiring my babies, such as telling me how beautiful they are. The usual "twin comments" I don't mind.

Lately, I've been getting a lot of new moms with only one baby tell me how little my twins are. Then, they tell me that it's because they were twins and probably preemies and not as developed as their baby. My babies were full term (born at 38 weeks). DD is a chub, DS is skinny. They are the same in length, but DD outweighs DS by at least 3 lbs now.

I just tell these people that, "No, they weren't premature. Yes, they are fully developed. And, no, they're not that little." Also, DH and I are not overweight, have never been. All of these comments come from overweight parents.

Has anyone else experienced this comment frequently? I guess what bothers me about it is just the comparison. Don't compare my babies to yours and assume that yours is better (at least not out loud to me). All babies are different. Size doesn't necessarily mean that they are more advanced than other babies. I think weight, even as an infant, has a lot to do with genetics. Plus, I've been hearing more and more about the increase in infant obesity. Maybe they are the ones that should be concerned about their baby.

 

Hi, Everyone.

I usually get only the good comments from people who are admiring my babies, such as telling me how beautiful they are. The usual "twin comments" I don't mind.

Lately, I've been getting a lot of new moms with only one baby tell me how little my twins are. Then, they tell me that it's because they were twins and probably preemies and not as developed as their baby. My babies were full term (born at 38 weeks). DD is a chub, DS is skinny. They are the same in length, but DD outweighs DS by at least 3 lbs now.

I just tell these people that, "No, they weren't premature. Yes, they are fully developed. And, no, they're not that little." Also, DH and I are not overweight, have never been. All of these comments come from overweight parents.

Has anyone else experienced this comment frequently? I guess what bothers me about it is just the comparison. Don't compare my babies to yours and assume that yours is better (at least not out loud to me). All babies are different. Size doesn't necessarily mean that they are more advanced than other babies. I think weight, even as an infant, has a lot to do with genetics. Plus, I've been hearing more and more about the increase in infant obesity. Maybe they are the ones that should be concerned about their baby.

 

quote:
Lately, I've been getting a lot of new moms with only one baby tell me how little my twins are. Then, they tell me that it's because they were twins and probably preemies and not as developed as their baby.


Wow, I can't believe people say this to you, although I probably should some of the things that come out of people's mouths. Some people just do not think before they speak. Sorry you are having to deal with it. I have noticed though that people definitely think they can say whatever they want about twins. I never had so many people make comments to me when I just had my singleton, but with the twins, it's everywhere we go.

I do get the, oh they are so small comment, when I say how old they are because they were born 3 months early they are a bit on the small side, especially length, weight not so much. But like you said it has nothing to do with how advanced they are because mine are pretty much on track, crawling and standing, with others that were full term.

I just try and ignore the comments, I know easier said than done, or give a little smile, but inside I'm saying some not so nice things. I don't know why people think they have the right to always commment, nice or not, about twins.

 

I usually just go out and about with my son - and peole always say "he's so tiny. how old is he - two weeks?" I say "Yes he is tiny. He is 5 weeks old. And he has a twin sister at home." Then they change their comments to "Wow he is big for a twin."

They were born at 38 week. DD was 5lbs 10oz - 18 inches.
DS was 6 lbs even and 18 inches long.

At 5 week DD weighs in at 8 lbs 8 oz and DS at 7lbs 6oz.

I get all sorts of comments when i have the twins together. And hardly any comments when i have just one.

 

I get that too. I usually respond that they are in whatever percentile and they may look small because there are two. Their response sometimes is, "That doesn't make sense." My reply then is "Neither did your statement and now we're even!" Or they simply walk away confused.. either way it gets them out of my face!

 

I get that as well. I just respond "no their weight is fine" and smile. The funny thing is that these comments are often from people who don't have children or grandchildren who are young so they don't even remember how large their babies were at that age.

 

I would just ignore them. I'm on the other end of the spectrum. My girls were born 34w5d both weighed 5lb5ounces. They have something called Beckwith Wiedemann Syndrome. It is an overgrowth syndrome that comes with many characterstics, the most worrisome is an increased risk of cancer. One of the most noticeable is being very large for their age. At 12 months they both weighed near to 28 lbs. They are also very tall. At 21 months they weigh 32 and 35 lbs and are 37 inches tall. I get the comments just the opposite of yours when people see that they are twins, oh were they full term - no. They're pretty big for twins or the more politically correct they're really tall. An uncle even made a very rude comment that one of our girls could be a linebacker, my dh almost hit him b/c of the way he said it. I sometimes worry that people think we feed them nothing but junk after they read articles about infant obesity. But thats not just the case for our girls, we have a nutrionist and are very careful with their food intake. The kids with the syndrome usually slow down by the time they reach 9-10, and one of the girls has already slowed down in weight, she'll just be very tall.

You have to take comments from strangers with a grain of salt. When we are out in public and someone makes a comment about their size, my dh usually goes into the whole syndrome explanation and then the person that made the comment feels terribly embarrased for making it in the first place.

 

Yes, I get that all the time, but my boys really are tiny. They have been skimming just below the 5th percentile since they were born. There is a lady at my church who's baby is 1 week younger than them and weighs the same as both of them together. He's in the 95th or better.

Anyway, it's funny because people assume they are 3 month olds and are shocked when they can sit up and James is nearly crawling. I always get "they are so advanced for their age!"

 

Welcome to the world of competitive parenting. I think some people see chubby babies as a sign of accomplishment. Every baby is different..... and they all grow at different rates.
If it makes you feel any better by twins (35 weeks, 6 days) are bigger than all the kids at churh that were full term babies born around the same time.....mostly by height, but my son by weight as well.
Every kid grows different. My older son was full term, but at the 2 year check up stats my 5 lb "preemie" is 8 lbs heavier that his brother at that age. Go figure!

 

Mine were 8lbs7oz and 7lbs4oz at almost 37 weeks and I used to get that comment all the time. I didn't think they were small. It took them awhile to gain weight at a good clip, but it used to annoy me, especially from my family because the next comment would be "Are you sure you are making enough milk? Don't you think you should feed them formula?" I just ignored it because the pedi was ok with their growth, and now they are gaining like crazy...

 

I get this too with Sophie. Everyone tells me she is so tiny but i always tell them no shes not Jack is just big! I have even had are they twins because of the 6lb size difference. She was 3lb 4 when she was born and now at 9 months she only weighs 14lb7. They compare her with her brother who was born at 4lb 5 and now at 9 months weighs 20lb 4! ! My friend had a baby the week before my two and it was full term (8lb) and now at nine months Jack weighs over 2 lbs more. So i dont even worry about these comments some people dont have a clue what they are talking about! People always think they have a right to comment when you have twins wether it is good or bad. x

 

I got that stupid comment for the first time yesterday!! along
with are they fertility twins??

 

I get it ALL OF THE TIME. Mine are 3% weight, 50% height, 75% head circumference. It's a wonder they don't tip over. Like yours, mine were full term and both were comparable in size to a singleton. When people say, "Oh, were they premature?" I proudly tell them that I hauled these two around for 39 weeks, thank you. If they just comment on their size, I usually respond that they are average height and leave it at that.

I think mine got noticed more because they have a lot of hair for their age, they look alike, and they were very early walkers/climbers. So, to someone with a kid the same age who is chubby and bald and not walking yet, they were a stark contrast.

 

I get that also my girls are small also they are 3 months and they just hit 8lbs and 10 lbs.

The comment I also dont like is are they twins ( Im thinking no I just have 2 car sets for my health.)
Or is there a baby in each one of those ( im thinkin no im just carring around 2 seats for my health....)
The stupid things people say.

 

quote:
Originally posted by Erykah:
I get that too. I usually respond that they are in whatever percentile and they may look small because there are two. Their response sometimes is, "That doesn't make sense." My reply then is "Neither did your statement and now we're even!" Or they simply walk away confused.. either way it gets them out of my face!


I've never had those comments but your come back made me LOL! I'll have to remember that if I ever get it!

 

mine are tiny also - at 8 and a half months dd is about 13 1/2 lbs and ds is about 16...I don't generally get too many comments but I always get "how alert they look"...hello 8 month olds don't sleep 23 hours a day...

oh and I have friends with 2 month olds bigger than my daughter...I think I'm lucky in that I get MONTHS of use out of clothes