I'm sick of it all......and I feel awful about it

I'm sick of them crying when I leave the room
I'm sick of not being able to wear my hair down because they pull it
I'm sick of the world getting a free show when I am not wearing a turtleneck (they pull at my clothes constantly)
I'm sick of them and me getting scratched because they grab my face and don't let me cut their nails
I'm sick of them biting each other and me
I'm sick of them throwing their food and cups on the floor
I'm sick of always working (I am a sahm, so it's like I live at work)
I'm sick of not knowing what the hell I am doing
I'm sick of when I actually do make time for me, 9 million other things cut into it
I'm sick of having no help during the week and feeling like my twins are suffering because of it
I'm sick of the fighting me when I change diapers and dress them
I'm sick of everything being so hard

So I feel all of these things but then I feel awful and like a bad mom.

 

:hug99:

 

You need a real hug. Not that it will fix everything. I'm sorry. :hug99:

 

Sending you lots of hugs :hug99:

 

I'm right there with you - such a hard/trying age, but so cute.

I work, but when I'm with the kids, they are different kids, all hyper - wanting my attention or wanting to go for a walk, never wanting to chill.

the only advice I have, is the same advice for those with newborns, sometimes you have to walk away and run the water so you don't hear the crying...

 

:hug99: , Ilyse

I was saying to DH the other day that this age is just as challenging (and sometimes more) than when they were itty bitty.

 

We all of these days. I'm sorry today is one for you. Seems like they go on forever- the day that never ends. I empathize with you completely. It's much harder, but much more rewarding than we ever thought, huh?! Hugs. Maybe try a hot bath with music when they go to bed ?

 

:hug99:'s Ilyse. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time right now. Have you tried implementing some sort of "punishment" {for lack of a better word} when they pull your hair or throw their food/bowls on the floor or biting one another? Can you have your husband hold them while you cut their nails? {This is what I have to do for my ds or else he'd have very long nails} Do you have one night a week where you and your husband or just you can go out? As for being a bad mom who doesn't know what she's doing, I don't think that is true at all. I think many first time moms feel that way, I know I have. It seems to come with the territory. I believe we are all doing the best we can, and you can't forget to remind yourself of what a great job you've done so far. :hug99:

 

Hugs.

You can do this. I see you are in Long Island, if you ever want to met up in a park (fenced in) to talk to some who knows some the struggles you are having send me a pm.

 

Yep. The only thing I can suggest is taking a stand and doing something for yourself and refusing to let anything get in the way of it. I just decided that I'm going to give photography a real shot beyond trying to scrap 10 minutes here and there between wake times to learn all this information. I'm signing up for an actual class where I will be OUT of the house and NO ONE can interupt me with crying or poopy diapers or what are you making for dinner blah blah blah. I gave myself a goal of one year to have a paying customer and I can't tell you how much better I feel just having a freaking GOAL for a change. Our whole lives we're working towards something - acceptance into college, graduation from college, landing a job, job promotion, etc. When we become SAHM's it's like we're just swimming around aimlessly and before you know it, you don't even recognize the person in front of you. For the past few months I've felt this way and it's really frustrating. I hope things get better for you soon and I hope you know you're not alone in your feelings nor are you a bad mom. Good luck!

Larami

 

:hug99: Just remember it is just a phase.

 

Gosh, I'm not sure if it helps, but we all have been there and will be there again. And when you feel good and over your need to vent, I'm sure you could write an even longer list of the things that you love about your kids and being a mommy. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all need to vent from time to time. Heck I'll even add a few to your list...

I'm sick of the continual whining about EVERYTHING.
I'm sick of the constant mess around my house.
I'm sick and tired of being exhausted.
I'm sick of short naps... for crying out loud I need a little time to myself to get something done.
I'm sick of feeling like I can't even turn my head without someone getting hurt.

When you are ready to make a list of all the good stuff, I'll gladly join you on that one too as I have a million of those. But who needs a pollyana when you just need to gripe a bit.

Warmly,
Colette

 

You read my mind! I looked to see how old your twins were and they were born on the exact same day as mine! It must be this age!!!! I never have time for myself... I too am a SAHM with a husband who works two jobs....which in turn makes me feel like a single mom!!! Keep your head up, this to will pass!

 

Oh.... I have been there. Hugs from me too.

 

QUOTE(~ilyse~ @ Aug 7 2008, 02:28 PM) [snapback]919185[/snapback]
I'm sick of them crying when I leave the room
I'm sick of not being able to wear my hair down because they pull it
I'm sick of the world getting a free show when I am not wearing a turtleneck (they pull at my clothes constantly)
I'm sick of them and me getting scratched because they grab my face and don't let me cut their nails
I'm sick of them biting each other and me
I'm sick of them throwing their food and cups on the floor
I'm sick of always working (I am a sahm, so it's like I live at work)
I'm sick of not knowing what the hell I am doing
I'm sick of when I actually do make time for me, 9 million other things cut into it
I'm sick of having no help during the week and feeling like my twins are suffering because of it
I'm sick of the fighting me when I change diapers and dress them
I'm sick of everything being so hard

So I feel all of these things but then I feel awful and like a bad mom.


When I start to think like this and concentrate on all the things that makes me 'sick', I have to force myself to see the positive otherwise I'll start being a real grouch! Also when I'm feeling these negative emotions towards the twins they feel it & react accordingly. But if I just breathe & ask the Lord (yes, I pray) to HELP and NOW..I get calmer & things start to get easier...

Remember your twins are not the enemy even though at times they may feel like it...

You need some time away from them & when you get back things will look MUCH better!

 

right there with you ...

(((hugs)))

 

I am there with you too. I have decided when I start to feel this way to let DH know so he can help me more that he is (which sometimes isn't all that much to start with because he is usually clueless lol). I have been taking myself to the movies once a week when DH is not working. Granted, I usually don't leave until after the boys go to bed, but it is still time by myself... something I never get anymore. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with how you feel and that doesn't make you a bad mom... it makes you human. (I have to remind DH every once in a while that I am not super mom and I need a break every once in a while).

 

hallelujah, honey.....i wish we lived near each other so we could commiserate together!!!

 

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!
Mine are 2 weeks younger than yours but RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!!!
The crying and wining alone is enought to drive me LOONIE!!! Let alone the DESTRUCTION.....
It has to get better...
It has to get better...
It has to get better...
It has to get better........

 

Just passing along a hug to you. Right there with you. I've just started implementing timeouts consistently, and it is helping so much. Before I was lax about it because I was just too tired and overwhelmed to really take the time to do it. then one day I got fed up and started putting them on their timeout spot and making them stay for a full 1.5 minutes. If they get up, I put them right back.

Try to get a break for some peace and quiet. I find that some time away or just a nap helps me have a better perspective. You are not a bad mommy. When I have back to back bad days with my kids, I feel the exact same way. That's why God made kids so cute! Otherwise, we might all just run away.

(((HUGS))) Hang in there. shannon

 

I have been having a rough week, too... I completely understand how you feel. There are some really great posts on this thread that really hit home with me, but the bottom line is: I am soooo glad to know that I am not alone in how my children behave and how I deal with it. We are all doing the best that we can, but this twin parenting stuff is hard (SAHM or not). I can only imagine being a single mom of multiples.... they have my ultimate respect!!

:hug99:

 

:bow2: AMEN SISTER

oh you said it perfectly. i too have to wear my hair up because they pull on it, but.....i also put it down a couple days just because i am tired of putting it up all the time and when they go to reach for it i take there hands away and say don't pull.

finger nails....well i have resorted to holding them during naptime to go to sleep and i cut their nails then while they sleep then i put them in their crib. it is the only way i can get them cut. no holding down would cut it for these two.
oh let me add to your list....

i am sick of doing this by myself while DH gets all the time he needs to do what he wants when he wants to
i am sick of having to wait to take a shower when i clearly need one
i am sick of not being able to eat lunch or dinner without them screaming and throwing food
i am sick of other peoples comments on how easy it should be
i am sick of cleaning every day ..there is alweays something to clean
i am sick of them going under dining room table then crying because they can't stand up all the way without banging their heads and screaming all day long

YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM...we just feel like we are i think if we were able to stand back and watch us with them we would say wow what a great mom. we have a hard job but god doesn't give up anything we can't handle and if we are on the edge i say this is a little too much for me right now please please please HEEELLLPPPPPPP. try going out somewhere with them with a radio and just play your favorite music and sing. i go on my deck with them and bring some toys with me. i play my music and sing along and we have a picnic for snack time. it is real nice and calms me down. also nice to have a nice cold drink with you sometimes and i am not saying juice. i don't get drunk and i am really not a drinker but a nice glass of wine once in awhile is heaven...sip slowely.

 

Oh man, I'm right there with you! I could have written all of those things. :hug99:

It's gotta get better, right? (me also trying to reassure myself!)

 

We've definitely been there. You are right at the age when they start to push your buttons pretty good. My solution to diaper changes was a bit of a swat on the bare hiney when they start squirming around. It's always been very effective around here. Then I just calmly remind them that they either cooperate or they are going to get a spanking. Tantrums that cannot be resolved by working on communication are at least resolved by time-outs in another room where they have a chance to cry out their exhausting emotions, and I get a break from the screaming. Pack n plays work well or strapping them in a booster chair, so long as you know they aren't going to tip over.... Getting out of the house occasionally...by yourself of course... is a really good idea.

 

That age you are at, until shortly after two, is a rough one! They are not quite ready to follow direction, and they are so testing your boundaries. Start trying to implement some timeout, and I also recommend the book "1-2-3 Magic".

It does get better.

 

Sometimes when I'm sick of it all and they are driving me NUTS, I take a minute to look back at the pictures from the hospital the day the were born. I will never forget that day, those feelings I had....everything I went through to bring them into this world. After that, the next time I hug them I remember that time and feel such an appreciation for them being here now...safe and healthy.

After reading through your post, I noticed your signature where you have their birth weights and NICU times. As hard as it is now, how much harder it must have been with your tiny babies fighting for almost 2 months in NICU. You were a fabulous mom from the start - don't start doubting yourself now!

Like the pps said, you definitely need some time to yourself with no interruptions. When I leave the girls with DH, he's in charge and I'm on a Baby Break. It means I don't have to make any baby related decisions....they are up to him. It's the only way I can fully re-charge. I am actually able to start to miss them a little and am happy to see them when I get home.

I swear my two do things just to get a reaction out of me. So I have also starting using timeouts for blatently bad behavior, but I also have found that ignoring them works wonders as well. If I'm holding Breena and she takes a swat at my face, I grab her hand and say no. If she does it again, I simply put her down and walk away. Same thing with hair pulling. Pull my hair, I put you down and ignore you. For food throwing, if you catch them in time, put out your hand and without emotion say "give it to mommy". When they do, say thank you and continue feeding the other one. It take practice, but Breena will usually hand me something she doesn't want instead of dropping it over the side of the highchair.

Big hugs to you....we've all felt the same exact way at some point or another.

 

Oh Gosh, I think we've all been there when you are pulling your hair out. I hope this iwebpage is ok to post. I have the book and I read it whenever things are going wrong or when I'm just having one of those days. It has always helped me put things in perspective. hope it helps. actually, even more, I hope you get some time to read it :winking0009:
http://www.livinglifefully.com/flo/flopreciouspresent.htm

 

Thanks so much for the support and reassurance. It really helps to know that I am not alone, and not crazy! LOL