Long story short...Anthony is little. He's five, size of a two year old(although he did just graduate into size 4t pants!). His bone age is about two years behind actual age. He was tested for speech/gross motor for pre-k. He passed for gross motor and that's where my concerns were-and still are. In any case...he started Tae Kwon Do. Started out rough, but he's hung in and he loves it. Big smiles. He knows everything for the white belt. And he does everything-to the best of *his* abilities. Jumping isn't there much, nor running, skipping, hopping, etc etc. So after 8 classes(stripes), you test up. He now has 16 stripes(he wasn't ready last month). Dh talked about him testing next week and both instructors said he wasn't ready. As soon as he told me tears welled in my eyes. What do you mean he's not ready? He's been talking about this yellow belt since the last testing! He does everything that is asked-just at his ability level. Dh said they said he was still young...ya well so are the other five year olds that tested into yellow. So they could have him "test" and he'd get a belt with white/red on it, but he'd still be in the white belt class. So, essentially, every four weeks he starts over. And every four weeks we pay $139 for him to relearn everything he just learned. He knows 1-10 in Korean, he knows the five aims of TKD, he knows the various positions. He KNOWS IT. And he DOES IT. But apparently not up to speed. He's been my fighter since conception, and it's just another battle he has to fight that I didn't think he would have to. It just makes me sad...but it also is getting me to write the letter to the school for a reevaluation. Parenthood just isn't easy sometimes.
Sorry, Meaghan. He's a totally charming and adorable boy; his grin is the cutest. Not every kids is meant to be the jock; he's going to excell in other ways, and you should be very proud of that. With that smile he needs to do politics--how could you not vote for that guy.
Lol! Thanks for the laugh Rachel. Aww he is just the sweetest kid. And he is so much like me, I just don't want him to be the outcast, ya know. He is just too darn sweet. And we know athletics is not for him, and he's very smart. I'm having a time rectifying the cost month after month. He will do soccer in the spring.
I'd definitely have the school evaluate him for gross motor delays, but you might also talk to your pediatrician about getting a PT eval. Schools have to ensure that a child has the functional gross motor skills needed to access the school environment which doesn't always leave room for delays that are not as significant, especially as he gets closer to kindergarten. PT is a related service and kids have to qualify under something else I order to get PT (like a medical diagnosis or second area of delay). Try not to stress about it! It is the experience of the class that really means the most!
This might be a long shot, I don't know if your kids were preemie but if they were, you might check to see if your state offers free Child Development assessment and services for children prior to starting school that were born prematurely. I know NC and GA have such programs and there must be similar programs in other states. :hug: ETA - if so it is probably run out of the health department.
:hug: Meaghan, I am sorry. He is a sweetheart and I know my heart would be broken having to explain something like that to one of my kids...especially when they've been working hard towards a goal. I would ask the instructor since Anthony has met all the goals for the yellow belt, if either he could be privately re-evaluated or if you can get a discount over the next group of classes that he will be taking. My friend, her son has Aspergers and she had him and his older brother in swimming lessons. He had failed the one level of swimming 3 times, my friend understood the first two times because he was struggling with all the tasks...however the third time he was doing everything well and the only problem the instructors were noting is that he was a little stiff with his movements(but he was completing all the tasks) Now the goal for the swim classes was to give the boys swim skills should they be in a life threatening situation, so she talked to head of the program and the head watched him swim and passed him and refunded the money for their last round of classes.
:grouphug: Both my DD had gross motor delays - it is hard sometimes to see peers pass them up. A few things: 1. I cant imagine that everyone passes 'up' every few weeks. That just seems so unrealistic! Kids will learn at different rates and some kids will fly through things faster and other take a bit more time. It seems odd that the class expects all kids to be ready at the same time to master skills. FWIW: My DD (7) are swimming. They did well the first two classes, but the last one had them stuck for 5 months. They watched kids in their class move up three or four times....(the classes are fluid and kids move in/out as they master skills). Instead of making them sad- DH and encouraged them and it made them more determined to pass!! Most of it was 'coordination' issues with timing and fluidity of skills. They knew what to do- but had a hard time putting it all together! 2. I would also ask for a reeval. The gross motor 'skills' for a prek kiddo are different than a K- age kiddo. He may just qualify now that he is older. At 5- most kids are jumping, running, skipping, etc. He might benefit from PT at school and/or some extra support. Also see if you can get a PT reveral through your Dr. If your insurance covers it, you may be able to get very focused individual PT. We did both and saw HUGE gains. The school one was harder to qualify since the delays had to impact education from K onward and private insurance was just a delay. Can he ride a trike? A bike with training wheels? Stand on one foot for 5-8 seconds? Hop forward on two feet? Catch/throw a tennis sized ball? Walk a -short- balance beam? Those are all skills that my 5 yr old worked on in PT. It was very helpful....you may also find gymnastics or tumbling class a good choice. Especially if it is multi-age so that your DS sees kids of all ages learning alongside him : then it is harder to compare age-to-age. 3.Is he enjoying it? If so, dont worry. It is a good life skill to enjoy things that you may not excel at. Very mature outlook. K-age kids often dont *want* to do something they are not good at....for a kiddo to realize that they can work hard and get better, but are not the 'best/win/move forward quickly, etc' is very responsible and mature. It is good to enjoy something regardless of skill. 4. It is so very hard-- but try to measure his progress against his own skill set and how much he has learned not by what 'other 5 yr olds' have done. Yes, there are age based assessments and yes, they have a place for evaluations and milestone goals. But learning and growth should be based somewhat individually in the big picture- try to take the 'age' out of it when you can. There will always be kids/adults the same age that do things better/faster/quicker than someone else : both in academics, social skills, fine motor, and gross motor. 5. Are his karate instructors aware of his struggles with gross motor? They may be able to offer some ways to help him master skills or gain speed. When my DDs did yoga, the instructor 'adapted' some of the poses for them so they could do them and still participate. She was great and really understood the main goal was to learn and enjoy yoga on whatever level they were able. 6. Does he have an IEP or a 504? Those might be good tools for gaining some extra support in school and ideas to do at home. IEP- he would have to qualify for Special Education under a specific area that impact his education/learning. A 504 could be in place for any disability (including if he has a diagnosed reason for his small size) that would allow some accommodations in school that *could possibly* include support services like PT/OT and/or extra time, step stool use, table/chair for his size, etc. Look under www.wrightslaw.net for more information on 504/IEPs if you want! :grouphug: When he *does* pass the next test-- celebrate! He definitely will have earned it! It is so hard to see our kiddos struggle.... I will say that struggling in certain areas have made both my DD very compassionate, tolerant, and kind to their peers. They always cheer on their peers and according to the school are 'good role models' for respecting the differences in their peers. So it can really be a good thing! One of my DD is small too (due to health issues)...she is on the short-side for 7, but still 10%tile. Her weight is 3%....she just broke 40lbs this Fall and boy were we excited! Her twin is 8lbs and 1.5 inches taller! She wore 4t capris this summer at age 6.5 because that is all that fits her waist. Our house has dealt with IEPs and 504s. It is emotionally tough sometimes, but worth it to see kiddos get support that helps them succeed !
Thank you for the great response! I need to go back and ready it but wanted to quickly say... He does have an IEP through the school system for speech. He gets speech once a week. And, we see the pedi next Friday for their 5 year appointment. And no to riding a trike, pushing pedals. I need to get some note paper and I'll send a letter along to his teacher. The problem being the school is without a PT. So I'm not sure how much will happen.
My boys take Jiu Jitsu. I'm not sure how different the two are from each other, but I can tell you my experience with my sons' Jiu Jitsu teachers. They are at their second Jiu Jitsu school (we moved earlier this year) and both instructors have told me the same thing: Yes, they are small (they are 7 1/2, wearing 5T), but they are learning the moves and executing them perfectly. They are learning, applying, improving. Maybe for some moves they aren't strong enough because of their size, but they'll grow into that eventually. As long as they are learning the skills they are being taught, they move up. Honestly, I would talk to the sensai (do they call the instructor sensai in TKD??) Ask why he isn't being moved up, etc. I might even take it so far as to look into another school if one's available in your area. It doesn't seem right to me that he would be held back just because of his size.
wow WHAT A $$$$ I'dd hope there would be more fun in it! I think it's a great sport. 2 of my kids are Taekwondo. I pay €21,00 every month. they go 2 times a week an hour. And it's great. Wonderful teacher. And Berber is 8 and has to do words exam. She started before the summer. My kids arn't the best, but do the best they can. And that is fine. I see there are 2 kinds of kids...1 group are the real fighter and a group that does it for more self asteam Hope your son will get the yellowbelt soon, and has FUN
* If he has an IEP, adding services (such as PT) is a bit smoother. When is his IEP meeting? If it is not soon- request a re-eval (if it is more than 1 year since his last one) for gross-motor for after your Pedi visit. They are REQUIRED to honor your request within a certain number of days. Request it in writing- that starts to process for evaluation. * It DOES NOT MATTER if the building does not have a PT.*If* your DS qualifies for services then it is the school districts concern to provide them. In our area-- PT travel from school to school as needed to provide services. If the district does not have a PT, then they will have to 'outsource' it to a private company. They CAN NOT refuse PT (or speech or OT, etc) on the grounds that they do not have a PT available- it is illegal to deny services that are deemed needed (per evaluation not per availability). Dont let them tell you they can't eval him either- that is also illegal to deny an evaluation request that is reasonable. Even if he does not qualify for gross motor, they are still required to do an eval if you request it. * Does he have a trike? Does he have trouble with stairs (use them foot over foot or place both feet on one step before lifting another foot)? Those are both skills (alternate foot patterning and core muscle tone) that most 5 year olds can do if the steps are standard hight and the trike is on a flat plane. * Call your local childrens Pediatric Rehabilitation Center (or other childrens PT centers) and see if you need a referral for your insurance or if you could 'self-refer' for a PT eval. They often do the evals there and then suggest PT or state you dont need it. * Is he in preschool or PreK or K ? If he is getting 'gym' for any of them ,talk to your gym teacher and ask what they see. If you dont have a gym teacher- ask his teacher for a clear statement of what your DS can and can not do in regards to your areas of concern. Good Luck!
Thanks! I typed up the note today and sent it in with him. Glad I did that. His IEP meeting is in February(one year mark). He has a tricycle that he won't use but his siblings go crazy for it. He prefers the power wheels(he can do those!). As for stairs, yes I believe he goes foot over foot(didnt at previous eval). I need to watch him because before he would put his hand on his knee to lift the other leg. Does that make sense. Jumping out of the car, off a curb-won't do it. He does have no problem jumping on the bed! And I know once they have the letter they have I believe 30 days to respond to it. So...the same time frame it seems like as last year. Lol! Thanks again! I will keep you posted.
I do realize you're disappointed, but I think its the instructors place to tell you that he's not ready...better that he wait and re-test than to "fail" in front of his peers...better on the self-esteem... and I agree with Rachel - he may not wind up a jock, but he WILL be a lady killer!
