I'm having one of the worst days

This has to be one of the worst mommy days for me ever. I'm just feeling so low. I feel out of control and I keep snapping at my poor babies and I try to so hard to control it and then I just SNAP. I went to sleep well last night but after only 1 week of them sleeping to 6-6:30am (which was soooooo heaven for me and made such a difference in my mood), they are back to waking up between 5 and 5:30 or so and they sit in their cribs babbling so loudly that basically, I'm up at 5:30 but don't have the motivation to get out of bed yet. So I lay there listening to their babbling and it makes me feel angry because I know I have to get up. I bring one down at a time and I try to alternate them each morning but if I bring Arwen down first then Lorien cries, cries, cries. Then I bring her down and start to prepare their milk while they watch Disney channel. While I'm preparing the milk, Lorien comes to me crying. She cries the WHOLE time I prepare her milk. I've tried ignoring it and I've tried calmly talking to her while I prepare it but it doesn't matter. I swear that girl spends more than 50% of her day crying. I can't get ANYTHING done in the kitchen without her clinging on to my leg and CRYING!!! I just can't take the CRYING ANYMORE!!! I just want to put her in her crib and close the door and put the t.v. up loud. I'm sure everyone has these days. I spent the WHOLE week last week in the house with them because they had colds. And now this week, I have no plans to get together with anyone. I feel like I have to intiate every get together and it's hard because they (my friends) have a playdate with someone on this day and swimming lessons on that day. I have been in such a bad mood today so I thought, "you know what, let's go to the park." I needed so bad to get out of the house so we went to the park. We get there and of course, Arwen is running away from me in the parking lot and I'm holding the other one and I'm LOSING IT AGAIN!! Just a small outting to the park is a freakin nightmare. It turns out that it must have rained this am or last night and everything is wet so I dry down the swings and put Arwen in and Lorien is digging up dirt and is filthy. I finally get her and put her in the swing but she doesn't want to be there, she wants to play with the ground material which is some weird papery, rubbery material. I notice that her bottom is soaking wet. The ground was saturated so now I have to leave because this is just not working out and too overwhelming. I don't want to go to the mall anymore because they go into meltdown mode in their strollers and it's just now worth it. I feel so depressed and so alone right now. I start Mommy and Me in September so I'm praying that that will help me somewhat. It's so hard being with just babies all day. I play with them and read them books but it just gets so monotonous (sp?). I'm trying sooo hard to be a good mommy to them and on most days I know that I am. I just hope that they don't keep the memory of me being a psycho on days like this. GOD HELP ME!!! (And forgive me.)

 

I just wanted to send you a big hug! I know the feeling all too well! I work 3 part days a week, so I'm only with them for two whole days. On those days, I lose my mind many times, especially when we have to stay in. They know, and you know too, that you're an awesome mommy. These are normal feelings with two! We had a stage with Jack a few months back of being totally clingy and cranky all day long. It's pretty much gone now, so hopefully yours will pass soon too! In the meantime, know that you're doing a great job!

 

Sweetie, big hugs! Listen, my boys are 25 months and I had days like you did but it is getting better. No real advice as I'm still working on things too, but just know you are not alone and things will get better. That age was a tough age for me to get out with my kids.

Hang in there!
Mendy

 

I'm not sure wot to say but just wanted to send u hugs

take care


amanda

 

im smiling at your post because you are a precious mommy
everyone has bad days..

would you like some unsolicited advice???

good;0

FIRST OFF

let them talk cry until its that time..730 they get to a point where they call out your name and chat with eachother.. and its so cute on the monitor..
let them.. ( i hope your sleeping in a room seperate from them- them together is ok.. but not youall and them)

next.. when you hear them on the monitor.. call out that you are comming in a minute.. encourage them to talk to you..
tell them your just fixing their milk and youll be right there..

i always fix milk before going in their room weather its morning or after nap..

next.. play the pass to game.. start with one toy..
a star.. pass to sissy.. pass to mommy.. pass to daddy..
then with cups.. ( mine have differnt color cups ) pass to brother( sister) then pass to.. and they say ME..
THAT WAY I DONT HAVE A SCREAMING KID AT MY KNEES..


also.. when you go out.. i tell them must THEY RESPOND .. HOLD HANDS..
this to really works.. i always take the stroller .. even if its 5 steps from the car.. that way ..
any misbehaved babies.. go in the stroller..however..

get them to look at you.. when your talking to them.. use the word MUST.. when you say hold hands..
and play pass too..

i had three in the same year and it really helped having these rules..

i also have them PUT.. cups in the kichen AND SHOOT.. laundery in the washer..
TOSS.. toys in the bedroom..

these things make me feel like im not a maid.. but a mommy.. let them help you..

it gets easier..
i hope this wks for you like it wked for me.

mist

 

:hug99: I am right there with you! Kevin cries most days, almost all day long. I feel like I am going out of my mind most of the time. :hug99: I can tell you that I think you need to just put her or them in a crib and walk away. I have to do this at least once a day to stay sane. And staying sane is important in order for you to feel happy and be a good mommy. We all have days like this, I definitely think there are more days like this with twins too. :hug99:

 

:hug99: to you! You are not alone! I had a day like that yesterday and I really thought I had completely lost it! :umm: My Jilli is trying to crawl with frustration and my Brendan is teething so both seem to cry all day. I had to leave them alone several times just to keep my sanity. I spent last night after they went to bed beating myself up for losing my patience even if it was just leaving them alone in the room so I could gather myself back up. I, like you, hope they don't remember those kinds of days. I know we are all great Mommies doing our absolute best. I hope this day is much better for you!

 

:hug99: HUGE, HUGE HUGS!

It's like I could have written this myself! Being a SAHM can be really isolating and throw twins on top of that and it is enough to drive you insane some days. Mine are going through a real whiny, crying all the time phase too. It's totally for me. They don't do it to their father and if I'm not in the room they're perfectly happy (for 15 min a pop). So, I've been practically crawling out of rooms to keep them quiet and my sanity in check. My Sarah is the pulling on my leg, screaming kid, Ben is more pitiful, will just sit in the middle of the room and scream. They've also started to fight over me. When I'm in the room they're happy for all of 15 seconds before there is a fight over me and my lap. AYE, AYE, AYE!!!

For me, I demand nap times whether they like it or not, they stay in their cribs, in their room with the door shut for one hour in the morning (this really is their good nap, it's more like 2hrs) and one hour in the afternoon. Monitor off, door shut. I NEED that time to be alone and listen to the quiet. Most of the week it works, but by Friday I feel very much like you are describing. So again, HUGE HUGS! I'm right there with you!!

Stacy

 

:hug99: Melanie, you are a great mommy.

 

I know it's no consolation but everybody has those days! You're going through a tough phase right now and the early waking isn't helping things. It will get better and the crying will lessen. Try the park later in the day once the sun has dried everything off and I'm sure that your experience will be much different.

You're a good mommy having a bad day! I can't tell you how many times I snapped when I didn't want to. You're human - it happens - don't beat yourself up over it. Tomorrow will be a better day! :hug99:

 

Hang in there!
We all know these days, and as a SAHM with depression, I know them alllllll too well!
When my boys were smaller I used the very simple formula of putting them in their cribs, closing the door, and setting a timer for 10 minutes. I knew they were safe, and for 10 minutes I tried my best to sit outside or in a quiet part of the house and just breathe and try to chill. When the timer goes off, life is back to normal but at least I had the brief break.
Good luck and try not to get too down!

 

:hug99: :love0028: this too will end ... this too will end ...

i so hope today is a better day for you. is there any way in which you can sleep for a bit of their naps? our little ones have also just made the switch from 6.30 mornings to 5.30 ones. UGH. i really miss that last hour.

also, are there any child friendly teenage neighbourhood girls who can pop in and give you a hand a couple of hours a week - like when you go to the park? it really makes the world of difference to us as i too find it so hard to manage both alone. i can do it for about 15 mins and then i have to put them both back in the pram.

:hug99: you're always so supportive and with such good advice, i do hope things improve rapidly for you.
lisa

 

First here is a great big hug! :hug99: I know your pain all too well. I used to say the same thing about Jet (that he spends half of his day crying). It bugged me the most in the morning. I mean sheesh, did we really have to start the day out like that? What I started doing was telling him that if he was crying he must still be tired and he needed to go back to bed until he was happy. Then I put him in his bed. I stayed by the open door (but out of sight) and every sixty seconds or so I would pop my head in and say, "Are you happy now?" in the most cheerful voice I could manage . As soon as he stopped crying I would take him out of the crib, put him down, hold his hand and say let's go get your milk. It took a few times but it was so nice the first day he didn't cry and waited for his milk! Now the boys greet me with, "I happy!", "Mommy happy?". It's kind of cute. We still have bad days but they are much fewer and further between so I can honestly say it gets better.

As far as the park goes I rarely do it by myself. I do however go for walks as often as possible. They are just not allowed out of the jogger. Just getting outside can sometimes clear your head and calm them down.

Hang in there!

-Kimberly

 

Big hugs. We all have those days. It's overwhelming being SAHM. Heck, every mom has the world's hardest job.

Have you tried those animal backpack leashes? We got 2 from target and they've come in handy a few times.

Just do whatever you can to get out. many times I just walk the neighborhood with our big double jogger, hoping I'll find another mom to chat with. Today, it seems our neighborhood was deserted, but it was still helpful to get out. I have a hard time managing them at the park. A few of ours are fenced in, but there are bigger kid play structures that are too tempting and dangerous for them. I take them to costco shopping, because they have the double carts. I have constructed a way to grocery shop effectively w/ the combi stroller. It's not easy. You are not alone. You'll have better days. Give your kids hugs and kisses. It helps me when they want to smooch me. reminds me that it's worth it!

 

Thank you ALL so much for responding and supporting me. It really helped me. Today I'm doing much better and dh and I are making some changes. Because of the early wake up and the therefore early naps, they have been going to bed between 6:30-7. So it makes sense that they are waking up at 5:30 in the am (they have NEVER been 12 hour sleepers) so starting today, we are going to try putting them to bed at 8:00 pm instead. I think it will be nice and we will be able to start eating dinner together. Hopefully they will start to sleep a little bit later and then I can put them down for a later nap and I can arrange more playdates with my friends whose kids take that afternoon nap. And I can get a little more am sleep.

Also, last night, I put their milk (with the vanilla quick) in their cups for the morning so that all I had to do was give it a little shake and it was ready for them right away. I also (on the suggestion of someone here) cut up all the fruit I feed them and put it in little tupperware containers so that it is ready right away when they are hungry and I need to get them their food quickly. Thanks again all. It was just one of those days

 

Melanie :hug99: :love0028: You have gotten some great responses, so I won't repeat a lot but I wanted to just tell you that you might check her for a molar coming in. I didn't think about that when my DD went through the same thing (of course she is still prone to drama!) but it helped me understand what was going on.

Also, at times like that I just let them get dirty and wet, it's a temporary condition and if it helps our day, then FINE! My hubby travels and I have weeks like this where I am just at the end of my rope. Exercise helps me a lot. I haven't been really good about it recently and I notice that I am not as patient!

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!! :hug99:

 

i forgot ... one thing i've found REALLY helpful is to keep aside two toys that they really really like and only bring them out when i'm having one of those desperate days. for us it's two cheap pretend strollers, the girls put their teddies in them and walk round and round our living room. because the strollers only come out rarely, they never get bored of them and it keeps them happy and entertained for a good half hour or more. you probably need to make the two toys virtually identical otherwise there'll only be fights ...

finally on the crying tearful days/mornings (most mornings for Tal at the moment), i've sometimes found if i just give up and stop whatever i'm doing, sit on the floor and hug her/be with her, after a few minutes she gets up totally happy and wanders off to play. she just needed cuddle time and i wasn't giving it to her.