I'm feeling discouraged

Last month the girls went to the pedi for innoculations and a weight check-up. They suffered from IUGR in the womb and were taken by semi-emergency c/s when growth scans showed they'd falled off the growth charts. Born at 3p3o and 4p and spent 3 weeks in NICU as feeders/growers....
Anyway, they're tiny sized. I just got out their 9mo clothes from the closet and they're pretty big (the clothes). I'm ok with all that...
but last mo the pedi said they weren't showing a good growth curve and to add as much formula, butter, cheese, whole milk yogurt etc to fatten them up.

So today was our check-in appt. Ainsley (15lbs) didn't gain at all - not one ounce! and Annika (14p7o) only gained 6 ounces.

I'm so discouraged! We've really worked hard to feed them as much as possible. I try to give them bottles but they'd rather nurse and they only drink 3-4 ounces a sitting. They take bottles about 1/2 the time, depending on how long I'm working that day. The pedi essentially said I have to stop nursing and just go to formula if that's what it takes to get them to grow.

She's giving us 2 more weeks since we've all had colds. If they don't gain some weight by Nov 15th, she'll start a battery of tests involving pokes etc.

I'm so frustrated. Then my MIL, who went with me to help at the office, pipes up "Oh my sons were 15 lbs at only 2 months!" Thanks,mom. Your sons are huge Nordic men who are not blood relatives of my little preemies! It just made me mad

Thanks for letting me vent. Any ideas for fatty baby foods??

 

I know how you feel. I recently posted about this same thing. My little guy is a string bean who has fallen off his growth curve as well. He eats well and has a great appetite, so it's not for lack of food! I know what it feels like to have seemingly no control over the situation. And it sure doesn't help when your own family tells you how big their sons were! I don't have any advice other than what you've already heard. I just wanted to let you know I know how you feel. Your girls are perfect and you're doing a great job.

Reyna

 

Sara, I don't have a lot of advice, but how about things like bananas and loads of pudding! Pudding is kinda fattening and they usually love it. You can try whole milk yogurt too. Its more fattening also. I am sorry you had such a rough appt. :hug99: I hope it gets better for you, I know it is really stressful. :hug99:

 

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time - i've been thinking about you lately as a matter of fact. As for those giant nordic babies - just ignore that kind of stuff; it's SOOO not helpful!

I'm curious aboutt the wisdom of stopping nursing and giving bottles; do they take more when they have bottles? or is the 3-4 oz when they are drinking bottles (fyi, my preemie seven month olds RARELY take more than 4 oz at a time).

In terms of food, not a whole lot to add, but - what about avocado? I haven't tried it yet but i hear taht babies love it and it's full of calories. ALthough if i recal correclty you're in alaska, yes, so it might be challenging to source.

anyway, just sending you a big hug, i can only imagine how stressful and painful this is.

 

No advice, just :hug99: . I hope they've gained some weight when you go back in!

 

Is it possible that they are just going to be petite girls? Does your pedi say why exactly they have to be at a certain weight?
I have 2 boys, 1 noticeably smaller than the other who are both 4 months old, the bigger one is in a size 3 diaper already...a friend of mine has a baby girl who is turning one this month in a size 3 and she believes the little girl will probably not outgrow that size until she's ready to potty train...is this typically a girl thing?

I know there's a weight curve and a percentile mark for height/weight (none of the pedis that I have been to use these though); but what exactly is the underside of not weighing enough for babies? Especially if they are fed well. Why do they need to be plump? Just curious!

 

I'm sorry I have no advice either Sara. I just wanted to offer big :hug99:. That's a bummer that your MIL made that comment. You certainly can't compare apples to oranges. Good luck.

 

No advice, I am on the other end ... but agree with bananas and avocado seems to be great too! They may never be the biggest kids in class, but I hope they gain some weight soon! Big (((HUGS))). My son had reflux so we added rice cereal to his bottle and soon he was heavier than his sister, but it's hard when they're not really interested in bottles, I am sure.

Hang in there, you're doing the best you can!

 

Dear Sara,


please pat your MIL`s head and say: Good for your!


But seriously now: as I understand, your daughters are partially asian? This could be important for two reasons: They tend to be smaller, and there is a possibilty that they will not thrive on fatty milk products.

My youngest son - southern asia with some european blood - had the same problems. Though it is more than twenty years ago - and at least formula is much more sophisticated now - the expectations of doctors are grown by the average and the norm of what they see every day. When my youngest son was about a year old, (we were living in Western Germany among impressingly big, blond people with their impressingly big, chunky babies) I was told by the doctors that I had to stuff him up and he had to learn to drink cows milk and eat cereals with milk and butter. And no more breastmilk. He ended up in the hospital for two weeks and lost one kilo out of nine. This is an extremly unusual reaction - just to say this c a n happen too.

When our youngest - who had been very small and a difficult eater from the start - began eating solids at about six months old, we always mixed it with breast milk or with almond paste and breast milk, and he did not throw up. Bananas and avocados as mentioned by pp were good energy sources too. After the hospital episode, son was weaned of breastmilk, but somehow would eat steadily not so big portions, but quit often. He would eat rice with veggies, chicken, fish and fruit, and some coldpressed good oil on it. He had to have one night meal up to his second birthday. He was growing slowy and is a tall and healthy young man now.

Your sweet and beautiful daughters might be moving around more and more? In that situation, they will not put on much weight for some time maybe. Doctors want to be on the sure side, so i f you are offered some tests, just take them with a grain of salt.

Whish you all the best, you are a competent and lovely dear mother.

Naua

 

Sara, :hug99:

 

No better advice than what you already have, but hugs for the worry and totally unhelpful comment.

 

my DD is a complete peanut (19 lbs at 18 mos old) she is just now starting to wear 12 mos clothes...she was a 3 lb 8 oz 36 weeker - she's just petite...

perhaps it isn't the food she's eating but the pedi you have...my pedi is totally ok with her weight because she's healthy, and proportionate...

anyway, whole milk everything is generally what they get and she's actually now starting to finally put on a bit more weight...if they're healthy I wouldn't put too much stock into the pedi's alarm...

(oh and at 9 mos she was 15 lbs and at a year was 16 - once they're mobile they don't gain as fast)...

 

:hug99:

I agree with pp. Maybe your girls are just petite. How tall are you and your DH? Your older daughter looks petite too.. maybe this is just who they are. I was always little and I'm a small adult (just 5' tall and small).

As for foods to give them, I can't help you with that. My girls were 34 weekers and 3lb 9oz and 3lb 10oz and were on high calorie formula for the first couple of months. Not sure that your ped would recommend starting them on that now since they will be switching over to milk soon... but maybe thats something to consider so you can supplement with that and still be able to nurse. GL! -Leighann

 

I don't have anything to add because I'm not in the same situation with my babies but I just wanted to say that it sounds like you're doing a great job. I fully believe that some babies are just meant to be bigger/smaller than others (just like adults) and that the growth charts that doctors are using are based on formula-fed, anglo/white babies from the 1950's and they're completely out of date.

Have you considered high-cal formula when you do offer bottles? I know it's really meant for newborns, but it's just a thought.

 

Sara-Emilie is on the small side too, she just hit 20 lbs. at 20 months. I have found that there is really nothing I can do to help her gain weight, she has a small frame and probably going to stay that way. I really feel that all babies gain weight at their own speed regardless of what you do. So you just may have small girls. I don't really have any advice for you, just wanted you to know I have a petite little thing too. :hug99:

 

I'm not sure why your pedi is discouraging nursing. Breast milk has much higher calories and nutrition than whole milk, and if that's what they prefer, seems like you should continue nursing. I'm not sure I caught their exact age, but I would still nurse first when they act hungry, then offer solid foods 2-3x/day about an hour or so after a nursing. They definitely get much more nutrition from breast milk and/or formula than from solids. Good luck.

 

Sara,
Ped's freak out sometimes because that is there job! Relax. You know your kids. If they are doing well otherwise, don't worry about it!

I am on the other end - mine are huge. Since they were 10 months old they have been larger than their 2 year old cousin. They are all three healthy with different body structures.

I wouldn't quit nursing. You're doing great!

 

Thanks ladies, I appreciate it.

The ped isn't as worried about how big they are, just that they don't seem to be on a steady growth curve. \
We are definately small people and who knows? maybe they take after an unknown Asian grandma (DH is adopted).

She did actually recommend going back to 22cal formula, and mixing formula with everything I can.

It is frustrating because I feel like htere isn't much I can do. I appreciate your encouragement so much.

 

Hm, that sounds weird. How's their appetite when they nurse? How's their appetite for solids?

I would NOT quit BFing because of this. Your milk is still great for them.

Could you go to another pedi for a second opinion? Also, maybe it would be worth trying to see a GI specialist. If they're eating well but not growing well, it is NOT the fault of your breastmilk! There could be some allergy involved or something...

:hug99: Hope you get some answers soon.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this. :hug99: :hug99: I wish I had some advice. I hope they start gaining and they don't have to go through any tests. We're all here for you. :hug99:

 

:love0028:

 

:hug99: Norah is pretty petite and we add Ovultine to oatmeal for added vitamins, I think that will add calories. Avacado quesadillas with sour cream, wheat germ in yogurt, eggs with flax seed oil and cheese. One thing is there are more calories in breast milk than regular formula so I wouldn't quit, if that's not what you want to do. You could use the formula to make oatmeal, mix it with mac and cheese or whatever you would use for milk and keep nursing.

 

Sorry for your rough appt today. I would agree that you should not quit nursing if that is not in YOUR plan and I would definitely see a Ped GI. They might have some great suggestions for their diets.

 

:hug99: I would say the yogurt (my guy loves the yobaby), pasta. I would think that the colds over the last week haven't helped things. Hope that you get better news at your next appointment.

 

One of my girls went through a phase where she didn't want to drink much milk/formula at all. The gastro-pedi checked her out & said she was fine, just being finicky, so he had me add extra formula to all her bottles. It helped get enough calories in her.

For every 4oz of pumped breast milk - add 1 scoop formula
For making formula - 4oz water + 3 scoops formula (instead of 2)

 

Your in my thoughts. Don't they have any other advice for you? aren't they the professionals that we pay for?

 

Sarah,

First - most babies between seven months to 14 months slow down a lot as far as growth! I can't tell you how many kids I see because they go down precentile wise during that age! It is totally normal. I worry about overfeeding when I see a child who doesn't!

They are way more active, nursing/eating less from a bottle, while transitioning to eating more solids. It is totally normal! My seven year old was a FAT six month old. He was 22 pounds at six months (huge and all breastfed), but he was also 22 pounds at two and a half. My daughter actually lost six ounces from her 6 month weight to her nine month weight - LOST!

Our girls are bigger than yours - but they have been 19 pounds for three months without any gain. It is normal

PLUS - those growth charts are designed for full time formula fed babies! I HAVE NEVER SEEN A BREAST FED BABY THAT FOLLOWED THOSE CHARTS! Every breastfed baby I have followed slows down even more at that age than bottlefed babies. It makes me think that the slow down is more normal than doctors think!

What your doctor said to do is exactly what I would tell you. Just do your best and they will gain what they need to gain. As long as their height keeps going up you really don't have to worry!

Angel

 

Ditto most of what Angel said (other than the details about her babies' sizes!) I would be very wary of anyone who suggested formula over breastmilk simply for weight gain reasons. If they are meeting their milestones and otherwise healthy, it is normal to slow down weight gain at their age. I would get at least a second opinion before switching them from their intended food to formula!

 

(((HUGS))) Sara

You are doing a terrific job with your girls. It is probably just their genetic makeup that is "aiding" in their smallness.

My oldest(now 7) was born at 41 weeks and was IUGR. He weighed 3p13o. By his first birthday he had just reached 16p. Now at 7(2nd grade) he barely weighs 40p most days. When he is besdie other children at school he is the size of most kindergartners.

I would not let them start poking around on my babies. I actually think I may consider switching peds or getting another opinion.

Our Ped with Jacob was concerned with his size and weight always and he was never even on the growth curve. He was always below average. However, they asked me a lot of questions and after they were assured I was feeding my son they didn't take it any further.
They did have me add butter to all of this foods that we could. He ate a ton of yogurt and they did recommend using formula for everything possible like making his cereals and mashed potatoes, etc. They also told me anytime he had a sippy cup to give him the formula for added calories.

BTW, all of your girls are adorable! What a cute pic!

I don't know if your girls are eating any table foods yet, so I don't know if any of this will work for you. What about using one of those supplemental nursing systems and having the high cal formula in it while you nurse them?

Hang in there. You are a great mommy!

Misti

 

my DS was failure to thrive and we just added extra calories to the milk he was drinking. Talk to the dr this will help put weight on slowly but it works all you do is add an extra shoop or two of formula depending on the calories that the milk is incressed by. Good luck and if I could help any PM me.

Rachel

 

Sophie was born at 3lb 4 and only now weighs 19lb 1 @ 18months. She is just finally going into 9-12 month clothes! She get fed exactly the same amount of food as her brother who weighs 26lb 9!!! The doctors worried about her for a little while too but they realised that she was still on target with her milestones and there was nothing to worry about. She is just going to be small. It could just be that they have a fast metabolisim (sp?) and arnt going to be fast at gaining weight. I agree with pp doctors go by everything that are on the charts and that doesnt mean they are always right x

 

I am sorry you are going through all this, its hard enough to be a twin mom without any problems.
I have not read all the previous posts, but the only thing I can think of, is a high calorie formula, even out of a sippy cup if they refuse the bottle. (I don't know if they drink from a sippy cup at all?).
And if they seem healthy and happy, I would not worry to much, like a pp said, maybe they are just petite?
I am probably not much help, but I will be thinking of you!!

 

:hug99: I agree with ppt...maybe the twinies have lost a little weight b/c of the colds! My boys are just getting over theirs, and they don't eat well at all when they were feeling yucky.

 

You got some good advice from pps so I can't really add there but wanted you to know you are not alone. My ped, however, although cautious with their "curve" (the boys have been dropping down...now at about 2-3%...was born at 25%) notes that me and DH are not large people plus as they grow past 6 months, weight gain does slow and the babies become much more active. My ped was also very conscious of the fact that I breastfed and she noted that those darned percentages are based on formula fed babies. As long as they are happy, are eating, are reaching milestones, etc, I'd say not to worry too much (knowing that you will worry regardless).

Hang in there! You're doing a great job!