I'm doing what I always said I would not do!

Nicholas got an invitation for a bday party at a jump house place. His whole class got invited. Seamus plays with this boy at recess. I have always said if one got invited I would so something special with the other (thanks to most of your suggestions over the years!). Well here I am and decided that when I rsvp I will ask the parent if Seamus can come too and of course I would pay for him.

A few things, they have not been invited to many parties and I am not ready to do a drop off yet. So I would be going and staying anyways. I will have to bring the baby because she is stuck to my hip at all times. It is a Sunday so I will be honest and say dh will be home. But because S plays with this boy I don't want to leave him at home.

If it was a little girls party in the class who Nicholas did not play with much himself, I would not ask for S to go since he wouldn't know the girl very well.

I have already decided I am asking but just curious on your thoughts.

 

Personally I didn't have an issue with my friend bringing all her kids plus 1. We never have as many kids show as what the party max is. If its so much money per kid you might offer to pay s's entrance fee

 

For me personally, I wouldn't ask to take the sibling. We have already faced this issue more than once & I have just talked to my two about the fact that they won't always be invited to the same parties, playdates, etc. I haven't made a big deal out of it, just told them that in the end these things tend to even out. So far, I have found that if I act like it is no big deal, they don't seem to get upset about it either. We haven't even done anything really special with the other twin during the party, although any time spent one on one is special around here so just hanging out with me or daddy alone has been fine.

 

You could ask, but dont be surprised if they potentially say no.

I dont think they would say not to be unkind, but often those kinds of bounce places allow x number of kids for a package. The package often includes food, goody bags, seats at a party table, etc. Even if you paid your other DS entrance, it would cost more to include him completely in the party and/or they have maxed out the number of kids (sometimes it is high, but sometimes it is a max of 10-12 kids in those small rooms.)

If it is more casual.....everyone plays and goes home. I dont see why not, but it could get stickier if there are other things included that change the price and/or if there is a max party size for price or per kid.

 

I would never ask. If one gets invited so be it. Paying the fee is not the issue, I wouldn't accept anyway. But it's life and they'll deal with it. It already happened multiple time and like pp said, I don't make a big deal out of it. Next time it's somebody else's turn. That's just me, I don't ever want people to feel they need to invite the other twin or the other sibling, just because they feel they have to.

 

I personally would never ask if any sibling (twin or not) could attend a party they were not invited to. I want all my kids to know that life is not fair and you are not always going to be invited or do the same things as your sibling(s). ardon: I handle it the same way Tina does, just act like it's not big deal and part of life. I let them know that they will have their chance to be invited to something and not their twin. :good: And with being in K this year they have each been invited to parties by themselves.

 

I'm on the opposite end.. I invited the twin of the invited guest for our playdate today. If it was a personal birthday party at the person's house, I would NOT ask, but seeings as it is at a public place... and you are planning to stay anyway.. I do not see the harm. The worst that could happen is she says no.

 

This is me. I could never ask to invite a sibling who wasn't invited. That's extra food, cake and goody bags the host would need. But, that's me personally. They will have to learn this life lesson sooner or later.

 

^^ This would be what I agree with. I wouldn't ask for the twins or other siblings to be come along. Like Teeny, I've talked to them about this and so I wouldn't want to keep making exceptions/reasons as to why the other should go. We actually had this situation come up when Tony was invited to a party and Angie wasn't but she wanted to go because it was her friend as well but I said no and she was perfectly fine with it. :good: My whole other issue would be that if someone were to ask me to bring a sibling I wouldn't be able to say no but these types of parties usually have a number limit & could cause issues.

 

I am another one who wouldn't ask. Even though they play together on the playground, the parents probably had parameters about who would be invited. Many times my boys have been in class with a child one year and the other boy the next, and only the one who was in the class that year would get the invite. Now there are times when only one name has been on the invite, and when I RSVPed, the parent told me that the other boy was invited, and then I would include him. But, like the others, I would never ask.

 

I just threw a big party for A&A we invited both classes and had several parents ask us the very same thing. I was glad they did. I would totally ask.

 

This.

I have been told by other mothers on occasion that it is okay to bring the sibling(s), but I wouldn't ask.

 

I'm another one who wouldn't ask... because I know if I had planned on a certain number of kids (which means a certain number of goody bags, pizza, etc.), I would hate for someone to ask me if they could bring a sibling. It would throw my numbers off, and I wouldn't have the heart to say no. So I'd say yes but be annoyed. And I don't want to do that to someone else.

I also don't think that just because they're twins they should do all the same things. If DH was home, I'd leave one of my girls with him (actually - I have done that, when Cricket was invited to a birthday party and Piper wasn't.) It wasn't a big deal for us, and they're going to have to learn sooner or later that they are not a package deal.

 

Several times one girl has been invited to a bouncy house party (or something similar) and I just take the other two and pay for them to bounce. I do not try to include them in the party.

There have been a lot of times that Brianne has been invited to a party and when I call to RSVP I am told that Hayley can come too. Brianne has had a lot of the same kids in her class since pre-K. Hayley was in the same class so a lot of the moms know both of them.

 

Gosh you are all awfully convincing! So I talked to Seamus about it (the sweetest boy in the world!) and I think he is ok with me changing my mind and having him stay home with dad.

It is just a hard one since he plays with the boy. If he went to the party instead of Nicholas, Im sure the boy would not even know! I do not know any parents of the boys in kind since they did not go to preschool with most of them so the boys mom would not know N has a twin unless the boy told her. And being young, Im sure he didnt think or doesnt care enough to tell his mom that N has a twin.

I was thinking that when S gets invited to a party, it may be to a kid he does not know well and I would then have no good reason to ask if N can come. So I decided to stop it here.

This will be good for N too. If they both were at the party, they would not talk to the other kids so if I want them to make friends (they really aren't yet since they only care about each other), then I need to do this!

Im taking them to the jump house place this Fri since they have open hours in the morn and we have no school. That was something that made it easier for me when I told S I changed my mind.

 

We JUST had our first separate birthday party experience a couple weeks ago. Up until now they were always together. This party was for a little girl in Ashlyn's class and the invite came for Ashlyn. She came home and told me the little girl said her sister could go too b/c they all play together on the playground. However, I told them the invite from M's parents came for just Ashlyn and unless they (the parents) said otherwise she had to go alone. Would you believe Aidyn didn't care, it was Ashlyn that kept pushing the issue. I did plan something fun with Aidyn (and of course baby Cathryn who is also attached to me like glue) and made Tony take Ashlyn to the party. Everybody was fine and had a good time. They even talked on the phone to each other while on the way home and talked about their day. Very cute. :wub:

 

I have not ever asked, but for the few times that one was invited when I called to RSVP I was told that the other was invited. Not long ago both P and P were invited to a party at a bounce house place. When we arrived they (parents of bday kid) ask where my other daughter was...Um she wasn't invited! They went on to say that she would have been more than welcome and I should have brought her along. UGH! I don't see anything wrong with hinting that you have another one who might enjoy going...esp since the whole class was invited. JMO