I'm at wits with these kids..

Ok, I thought I was past the infant stage w/colic crying all day of over? Boy was I wrong, they are even worse now because if I go somewhere to get away from them they follow me, at least when they were infants they couldn't crawl or walk. Are any of these things happening to anyone else or is it that I was the lucky one?
For whatever reason they don't like playing with each other, they are consistantly hitting, bitting, pulling each other's hair, they are extremely jealous of each other, they both want the exact attention given, we buy them the exact same toy to try to avoid this situation but it doesn't matter, whatever one has the other one wants it too? I'm too the point I'm sick of it and let them at it sometimes because I'm sick of them crying for the same toy. The time out doesn't work, the telling them No doesn't work, the tap in their hands doesn't work. What are you ideas, what can I do to stop them from fighting or at least keep it to a minimal?

The crying consistanly I can't get anything done because they are always whining, and crying, I literally sometimes have to sit on the couch all day because it get's that bad, I'm sure they get sick of being at home all day, but I don't have no other choice, it's snowing and cold where we live so playing outside is sometimes out of the question, taking them somewhere is really hard for me since I'm the only one at home, and whereas I have to watch two toddlers that quiet don't understand to come here and stay by myside it's hard to get out of the house, it's a challenge trying to change their diapers, which brings me to my next items, why are they always fighting with me to change their diaper?

Sickness- they are always getting sick, with the cold, fever, couch, all at the same time, they just got over getting the stomach flu, of course one gets it gets better, and then the other one, which will make a cold last for about a month or so, but this winter one got the cold, got the stomach flu, got better, then her sister got the cold, then the stomach flue, finally got better, and the other got a cold, fever, cough AGAIN, and her sister joined her a few days later, so now I got to sick kids, that cry all day, and fight all day. I've taken them to their pediatrician and it's just a normal virus going on, because of the winter, all kids them them, but my kids don't go out and mingle with out kids to get any virus, I don't have other kids that go to school, I have a 13 year old that I'm home schooling, my husband got sick one after the first time they got sick, and I still (knock on wood) have not, so I'm not understanding how they are attracting any viruses? The worse thing is that I ask my Dr. if there is anything that I can give them and she says no, it just has to run it's course, two weeks of vomitting and diarrehea, and there's nothing that can be given? I'm of course now looking for a new pediatrician. Now they are coughing their little lungs out, and of course their noses is about to fall off with the content wiping, we got the humidifier and all that good stuff in there room, but what else can I do? I know Nyquil works for me when I'm sick, I'm too the point to give them some if that's going to make them feel better. My husband mentioned something quiet interesting, what if they got weak immune system? I didn't have an answer but it did get me thinking.

Sorry everyone for rambling but I feel like I don't have anyone else to ramble too, or talk too that can possibly understand what I'm going through, I'm always so tired, I don't have any motivation to do anything anymore, everyday is the same thing, I don't know if I'm going in deppression or if I'm just going crazy, but at times I feel like all this was not happening to me, I want my old life back with my older daughter and no more kids, and I know that's horrible to say, but I feel like I can't handle it at days, and then I look at the little brats and they'll do something cute and make those feelings go away, but then they come back, when the crying, fighting, and sickness comes back.
Anyone out there that's gone through this or going through this help.
Thanks everyone,
Iris

 

iris, just try and take it one day at a day. maybe make little goals for yourself like....today i will brush my teeth and put a bra on! seriously, it takes baby steps. i remember that age (only a few months ago) being really hard. i called my BF and said i felt like i had newborns again. i am so sorry that you are having such a hard time and don't feel like you are alone, we all feel that way some days. we are hear to talk about the good and the hard times. God Bless and best of luck!!! :love0028: :love0028:

 

it gets better, you wonder where your babies went and this is when they need YOU the most..

just stay strong and remember.. weve all been there..

that being said, my mom was home with all three of mine for a hand fulll of strait days both ends.. nuf said..
then she said she couldnt do it any more.. and i had to come home..
if your not a single parent have your dh take a day off wk..

good luck..

 

Oh Iris I could have written much of your post myself. So much of what you wrote is happening here too! The kids are always sick since we joined the YMCa where there is free daycare; I am alone with them for 11 hours every day; the weather here is FREEZING (16 below zero today with windchill); they are going crazy in the house; I am going CRAZY; etc. etc. Here is how I am handling it best I can:

* we have baby proofed our bedroom and theirs (they adjoin and are carpeted). When they are killing me I put the gate up and leave them upstairs alone. And then I put in ear plugs to not hear the crying. Our early intervention specialist said kids need to learn to play alone by 15 months. I only do this about once a week but should do it more

* go out no matter how cold it is. Today we went to BJ's because they have double carts and we were going CRAZY in the house. It took 1 hour and 15 minutes door to door, and the break was worth it. My kids are not well behaved in the car, but it was worht it to get out of the house.

* you must get a sitter or another mom to sit. I have a paid sitter for 2 hours once a week, and it is a HUGE break. She comes at 4:30pm, and then my husband comes home at 6:30 pm to pay her and take over til bedtime at 7;30pm. I get to leave a 4:30pm and not come home until midnight if I want (of course I am only doing errnads but the break is NICE)

Be kind to yourself - you need energy and mental strenght. We all do! ha ha
Kathleen

 

Iris :hug99:

I actually think if you can get out of the house more on your own and change their scenery you will have a much easier time!!! I don't know about depression etc., but if that truly is a concern you really need to just have a conversation with your doc!!

I remember after a year, they didn't let me do ANYTHING without them. They clung to me at all times (my TS time was very limited ) and I thought the same thing.... is this worse than infants?

But they grow and after they are about 2 yrs. old they will play more together!!! Mine might not be typical, but they play together fairly well (we have a few brush ups now and then, but mostly they are friends).

We've started a little jealousy now and then, but mostly we are doing pretty darn good. My boy doesn't beat the heck out of my DD (like some of my friends twins) so I figure I am lucky!

Hang in there and do the best you can. When things get wild and wooly I change the scenery! Works beautifully. I didn't catch where you live, but you can find the stuff you can do indoors too. We have also been sick since October, so I feel your pain!

 

Thanks everyone, you don't know how much this all helped, I finally broke down and took them to see a pediatrician, I have always in the past everytime they get sick, but I always come out of their Dr.'s office like it was a waste of time and money, because everytime the Dr. tells me it's a virus and it's got to run it's course, so yesterday I called on of my friends and asked her about her pediatrician, drove about 45 miles to go see this new pediatrician, and come to find out both of the girls have a double ear infection, one of them is so bad that it looked like it was ready to irrupt, I don't know much of ear infections, I older one didn't have ear infections when she was smaller, and the twins Dr.'s always said that they didn't have an ear infection, so I assumed we were lucky, poor babies, that just makes me wonder if they've had in the past and the Dr. just didn't check or didn't think it was too big of a deal, I don't know, but now of course I feel guilty because I've been complaining about something that was seriously an illness.
Hopefully, they'll start feeling better and me too.
Thanks,
Iris

 

Don't feel guilty about not knowing they had an ear infection. You can't know unless you have your own otascope or however you spell it to check in their ears.

Just :hug99: for feeling that way - hopefully it gets better for you soon!