If you have children older than your twins...

I think I'm starting to feel overwhelmed now that I'm a few days away from 36 weeks pregnant with the boys. My daughter was 2 at the end of the July and I'm starting to freak out and worry that what if I don't feel bonded to the boys like I did to her when she was born???

I think I'm worrying myself because there will be 2 of them and is it possible to feel that kind of love for both of them at the same time?? I mean, clearly it is, but for some reason I'm starting to freak out about it!

Please tell me that someone else worried about this??? I think it's just nerves about adding 2 babies to the family at the same time.

 

I was scared that would happen. I did not get a chance to really bond with them in the beginning cause of the RSV and Sepsis and them being in the hospital for over a month starting a week after birth. But the next thing I noticed, I was head over heels in love with them. Not every mom bonds with babies right away, sometimes it take a little. But thats ok cause it will happen. :hug: Good luck!

 

OMG! when I was pregnant with my ds#2 - I never could have imagined loving him as much as I loved my ds#1 I was SO worried!! I told my FIL how worried I was and he told me something I will never forget, he told me that I would love all of my children exactly the same but for different reasons. That is so true. Once Jared was born, I did not love Tad any less I just had more to love - and now that I have 5 - I love ALL 5 EXACTLY the same but differently - each one has their own personality, their own ways and I love and am bonded to every one of them for each of their wonders and spirits. I appreciate each one not only for the bond we have but for the bond they have with their siblings, it is really the most awesome thing on the face of the planet. Just wait until your babies arrive! you'll see!!!

 

Yep, I worried about it too. My DD was 5 when the twins came along and thought there was no way I had room in my hear to love more kids the same, especially two more. But there is. Your heart is big enough to love all of your children and I think you love them all differently. You bond with them each as well, and my bond is different with each of my children, but they are all just as strong. Don't worry, you will bond and love the twins just as much. :hug:

 

I am so glad to know I am not the only person feeling this way!

I am so head over heels with my son it's almost impossible to me to imagine loving another person (or people!!) as much.

 

hi hun
i was at the begining but im not worried about it anymorel. i have a 4yr old and a 2yr old, my husband and i have set apart a few hours each week for one on one time with the boys. i have a feeling it will take a few weks to get that started but than everyone will get plenty of family time and one on one time with both parents,
made me feel much better. i also have the kids helping out were ever they can,

 

i had that same feeling when i was pregnant with my second singleton. i always thought i would love lilli more than the new baby!!! and i would cry all the time because i was so worried about how to love another baby just as much as i love her. well you know....you dont ever love them more or less....you love the different things about them. it will all come very naturally for you as it did me, im sure. but you are not alone in feeling like this. i am not worried this time around just because i have two and i have already experienced the love you can have for multiple children. you will be just fine!!!

 

I was also really worried about this when I was pregnant with my second DS. It's amazing how we have such a great capacity for love, and even more amazing how it can keep growing. You will love your little boys just as much, just differently.

My worry this time around, is that I won't have enough time to spread the love and attention around between all the children. I suppose it will all work out though.

 

It's a very different, that's for sure. But it is there. I think it took longer too because I was so busy servicing them when they were born but eventually I did bond with them. So don't worry if it takes longer, it will happen! :hug: I had the same concerns too when I was pregnant.

 

I have a 10 1/2 y/o who is already overwhelmed, my bf and his 2 1/2 y/o and 1 1/2 y/o moved in May to our home, now twins are on the way We try to make a point to spend time with each child seperatly.

 

I was really worried about loving more than one my sister just said you will love them all no matter how many you have sometimes you might like one more but the love is always the same. I think that was good advice and I love them all so much!

 

THe best gift you can give your child is siblings!

 

Yes I think about this a lot-especially b/c there is 2.

With my daughter she is just my world and I cant see how any other kid could compare and then trying to do it with 2....but its natural and you will and so will I. Everybody goes thru this with their 2nd kid(s) and they all say the same thing-that they bonded and it was the same.