If you have a toddler too, how long did you need help?

For those of you with an older toddler, how long did you need help during the day? My husband is going back to work soon and I'm scared to be left on my own!

Right now my twins are 2 months old and I also have a 2.5 yr old. I'm a SAHM so I know I have to be all on my own sometime, but I'm still not sleeping more than one 3 hour stretch a night and another hour or two after that. I also haven't been successful at getting my toddler down for a nap while also taking care of the babies. Even with help at home, I'm lucky if I get a nap! I should mention my toddler is going through a wild phase and my babies are having trouble with reflux and stuff, so there's a lot of crying and chaos around here.

How do you make it work?! At what point did you feel like you could manage most days on your own? Please tell me I can survive! :unsure:

 

You can definitely survive! It's hard and it will be til the babies get a bit older and have more of a routine established, but it's totally doable. For the first few months we were in survival mode and did whatever we could to successfully get through the day. You'll also be surprised at how immune you become to the crying and the chaos. But like anything else, it won't last long and you'll make it in the end. Good luck, it's tough, but you can totally do it!!

 

I only had my twins and I was a nervous wreck when it came close to dh going back to work (after 3 weeks!) I think the more you do things on your own, the more you are going to realize that you can do it yourself. I find nowdays that having help isn't always easier. I discovered that at about 7 months old (when my twins were).
You can do it. You will find little things that will help get you through your day. You will. You are a superwoman! :hug: I hope the twins eating issues (reflux) gets better.

 

You can definitely survive! Just take it one day (sometimes one minute) at a time.

When my twins were born, dd had turned two just one week prior. It is tricky. I never had help after my dh went back to work when the girls were 8 days old. I do have two older daughters who help me out a bit when they are home though.

You just have to be patient with yourself. It is difficult to have only one of you, and be so outnumbered by people who need you. Sometimes they have to wait, etc. There have been days when all three of my little ones are miserable and crying, and I have sat down and cried too. But, it can't last long b/c there is so much to do. And before you know it you will somehow find your groove. Then your twins will be almost 8 mos. like mine are.

I always remind myslef how many women have done it before me and survived! And so many of them didn't have modern conveniences like washing machines...

 

You can do it-
If you can get help that would be even better but if not then it is doable for sure. I dont sah but my dh and I just work as a team to do what ever it takes to get by!
A little suggestion is to make sure you give your toddler plenty of attention-the babies can cry a little if they need to but if you can give your toddler undivided attention it will def pay off-your infants wont remember but your toddler will. I read this somewhere.
Good luck to you and hang in there!

 

I had daytime help for the first 6 months. It was a lifesaver with a toddler around.

 

I had my DH adn mom for the first month, then MIL for two weeks and then a mother's helper 3 days a week for about 6 weeks and then MIL back for two weeks. So all in all I had help for the first 4 months. My DD was 22 months when the boys were born and my James had major reflux. I was also breastfeeding both boys so that was very time consuming. We also put DD in preschool two days a week from 9-1 this fall and that has helped too. Its hard to hear but so true..."you just survive those first 6 months" then life gets so much easier. Good luck and congrats on your new additions!

 

My oldest was 2 1/2 when the twins were born and my DH went back to work 4 days after I came home from the hospital. I was on my own during the day with all 3 of them and I think I handled most of the night duty too. I really can't remember DH getting up very much to help feed them. It was hectic trying to take care of everyone, but it is do-able. My mom did stop by after she got off work sometimes to help or both of my parents would come by around dinner for a little while, but it wasn't for hours at a time. Plus it wasn't because I asked for help, they were totally (and still are) enthralled with the whole twin thing. They are wonderfully helpful though so I am lucky they live really close by.

I survived though and so did the kids. I actually preferred for DH to go back than later so I could get into some routine. I think getting on a schedule is the key to your sanity so you know when you can count on some "down" time.

 

My DS was 2 days shy of 20 months when the babies were born. I had my mom come to my house for the first week, because my DH went back to work 5 days after they were born (gotta love working in construction). After that I would go over my mom's a few times a week to get out of my house, and the rest of the time I was on my own until 7pm when DH got home.
It was rough for the first few months with all three kids. I had alot of guilt that my older DS was being neglected because I was so busy with the babies, but he adjusted beautifully and I think it affected me more then him. He learned very quickly how to share and that he isn't the only child anymore, and now he plays with the babies all the time. It started to get easier for me when the babies got on a schedule, around 4 or 5 months. I would try and get your toddler on a nap schedule, and then you can try and tweak the babies schedules so that they are all napping at the same time, even if it is for a half hour, it will give you a much needed break. Heck, even if two out of the three are sleeping it's a break. All three of mine take a 2 hour afternoon nap at the same time, and I love it. The babies also take an hour morning nap and that gives me time to spend some one and one time with my older DS.

You will do great, believe in yourself, don't feel guilty about neglecting your kids...there is only one of you and three of them, and just take it day by day. It will get easier and easier as the days go by!!

 

I had help for the first week, and then it was back to business as usual! It was tough, especially the sleep deprivation, but you do fall into a rhythm when you know that you are the only one that is going to get it done! Good luck!

 

I kept my daughter, who was almost 3, in daycare/preschool part time for the first 6 months or so. I can tell you I sure looked forward to the days when I had just the boys at home - even though they didn't sleep at the same time. It does get easier though. You can do it.

 

I haven't read the other posts yet and this has probably been said many times but you WILL survive. Some how you will figure out what works best for you and your kids. But what I can tell you is how I managed:

My DD just turned 3 not even a month before the boys came along. They stayed in the hospital for 10 days before we were able to bring them home. At that time my MIL stayed with us. She stayed maybe a couple more weeks but I was ready to try it on my own. Plus sometimes she makes me crazy and I thought maybe things would be more calm once she left because I wouldn't be as stressed. So with that the boys were probably not yet a month when we tried it alone.
I was not a SAHM with my DD and was unsure about what to do with her and the babies. She had been in daycare since she was 3 mths old. How was I supposed to entertain her, take care of 2 babies and get all the normal stuff done. It took several weeks to figure it out but I think now that they are 5 mths old we have it.
I would get up with the boys at 5:30 for a feeding, put them back down and I stayed up. This was my quiet time since everyone else was sleeping. I would have my coffee, read the paper, get online. Anything that was just for my enjoyment. Around 7 I'd make breakfast, clean the kitchen, laundry, whatever needed to be done. The boys were on a every 3 hr schedule so next feeding was around 8:30. During the rest of the day I would try to do cleaning while the boys were sleeping or make that playtime with myDD. We would color, or play games/puzzles. Anything to keep her busy. She also likes to help clean so that sometimes helped. She loves to put away the silverware from the dishwasher and dusting. I'll put a sock on both her hands and spray them with pledge. She will dust anything!! Her naptime, I put her in my bed and I lay down with her. Most times I would nap with her. But it always worked to get her to sleep if she had me right there. I usually started the nap right after the boys feeding prior to their afternoon nap. Usually now I use that nap time as my quiet time because I don't have to get up as early anymore.
I know it's not much of schedule but we really didn't get on a good schedule until around 4 mths and since then I have been trying to have a strict schedule.

I wish you luck. Hopefully you can find something that works best for you.