If you could only give a new mom of TWINS, or soon to be having twins... One piece of advice...what would it be... Top three things that you used the most what would they be.... Two things that you bought or recieved as gifts that you never really used or did not find as a necessity waht would they be... My friend is having twiNS and i want to give her differnt opinions of different people!Plus I am sure this can help out our Expecting Forum moms too!!TIA
One piece of advice: do not demand feed. When one baby is hungry, feed the other one, even if it means waking him or her up. (SO glad someone told me this before our boys came along!) Three things I used most: bouncy seats, swings, bundle-me carseat covers (for winter babies - it was so great not to have to try and put a blanket over the carseat) Two things I didn't really use: tummy time mat (my boys hated tummy time until they could roll over and it worked just as well to put them on the floor on a blanket with a few toys), pee-pee tee-pees (supposed to keep the little boys from soaking you, but they just fell off). Also, I know tons of people love them, but I hardly ever used my boppy pillow (it was a hand-me-down, so not a big loss).
Allow people to help out with feedings, meals for your family, housework, laundry, and try and sleep when they sleep if you can. But also, savor these moment because even though the first year is hard they do sleep a lot and are not yet mobile. Once they start crawling and walking it's very overwhelming, at times, to keep up with everything. Bouncy seat with vibration mode, swing/rocker to rock the baby to sleep & Fisher-Price Rainforest Waterfall Peek-a-Boo Soother Wrist rattles, too many newborn onesies, too many stuffed animals, a scrapbooking kit, wipe warmer Congrats to your friend!!
Accept any help that is ofered. Bouncy chairs, swings and Dr. Browns Formula mixer were my most used items. Bottle warmer and Bumbo chairs are what I could have done without.
Advice: Just take care of your babies and take care of yourself. Everything else is secondary. Don't worry about cleaning your house, what others will think of you ... etc. 3 things that used most: Swaddles (for me it's a life saver!), Dr.Weisbluth's "Healthy sleep habits" book (another life saver , if you want to use his advice, start reading it before your babies are born), and my pump. Things we did not use: Too many clothes (keep the tags on, so you can at least return it for store credit and buy something you need by that)
One piece of advice...what would it be... Keep them both on the same schedule. It is a must to save your sanity. When one wakes up to eat, wake the other up. It's not mean. Otherwise mama will get no sleep, and no one will be happy. (Close on the heels of this piece of advice is to not be afraid to turn over a shift to DH. He's up to the challange, probably more than you realize.) Top three things that you used the most what would they be.... Two bouncy seats. Twice as many bottles as you think you might need so you only have to wash them half as often. Feeding chairs - the kind that strap onto a regular dining room chair. The ones we have from The First Years recline, so we could bring the girls to the table even when they were so very little which kept us eating dinner together as a family which was really good for our older son too. Two things that you bought or recieved as gifts that you never really used or did not find as a necessity waht would they be... Bottle warmers (we ended up just using really hot water in an insulated bucket - it was easier to carry around and just as fast) & those sleepers that are open at the bottom for quick diaper changes. Our kids were so long that their feet hung out and they seemed drafty.
One piece of advice...what would it be... Spend every moment you can with your little ones, they grow so fast that you will barely have time to savor each stage. And don't forget to take pictures of them all the time. Top three things that you used the most what would they be.... - My Graco twin bassinet pack n play, it was a life savor for the the first 3 months and is big enough that they can still both nap in it when needed. - Medela breast pump, I tried the Avent one first and hated it. The Medela one has allowed me to feed my boys breastmilk exclusively even once I went back to work. - The afghans my MIL made for the boys. Because they have holes in them that the boys can breath through we let them use the blankets in their cribs. They love them. Two things that you bought or received as gifts that you never really used or did not find as a necessity what would they be... - The foam forms that are supposed to keep the babies from rolling over. I used them once and never again. - Receiving blankets. I got a dozen of them and think that I maybe used 2 or 3 of them for the first month or two. I just gave them to my sister so that she can make quilts from them for the boys. (They may get some use yet)
My advise is Remember that while the first few months are VERY difficult, they are only a few months. It may seem like forever while you are in it, but suddenly you will be sending them off to kindergaten. So if you only shower twice a week, and never look presentable in the first three months--so what? What are three months of your life? They are nothing! But the first three months of their lives, now that is an important time--feed on demand, that's what they need. Do what's best for them, and get back to yourself later, when they are bigger and more independant. You'll never get a redo on the first few months of their lives. The list of things I didn't need is long long long. Way to long to list. I found you don't need most things. I live among people who have very little and they are some of the happiest people I know. And their children grow up just fine without baby gear. What you do need, two car seats, duh, two high chairs (I got trayless ones you pull up to the table and use through the preschool years.) And a high quality double stroller. I can't tell you how many posts I've seen over the past six years with people in need of a new stroller because they wore out the one they had. The type of stroller will depend on your life style, but if you get a quality one, you can do just fine with one stroller getting heavy daily use for three years or more. Mine even came out good enough to sell when my girls turned 4. Save money by not buying all that other gear, but spend it on a quality stroller.
1. Piece of advice: Take care of yourself. Let others help you as much as you are comfortable, but set boundaries. Oh and don't take anyone's advice too seriously (even your own mom's!!) 2. 3 things we definitely needed: boppies, the little play gym that goes on the floor (kept them busy even when they were extremely tiny!), swaddle blankets (with the velcro) 3. 3 things we could've done without: bottle warmer, diaper genie, pacifiers!!!!! (don't start the habit unless you are willing to break it down the road!!!!!!).... oh and a good stroller that will grow with them!
Advice: 1. Keep the kids on a schedule from day 1. Always feed/clothe/change/bath the kids at the same time, and take advantage of the breaks in between! 2. Relax. Don't worry about all the rules and how much to feed and everything every nurse tells you. As long as your kids are happy and growing, you're doing exactly the right things. 3. Take care of yourself. Make sure you have a place where you can set the babies down while you eat dinner, have a shower, take 5 minutes out to refresh. 4. Take help, but only from people who are actually helping.. not everyone is really good help! Tell people exactly what you need and when you need it. I agree with the PP's about stuff to use and not use. I would have invested in a better stroller and I couldn't have made it through without my medela breast pump. I didn't need fancy crib bedding, I ended up scrapping it pretty quickly in favour of a crib sheet, sleep sack and breathable bumper pads.
One piece of advice.... I would recommend putting them on the same schedule as much as possible. Now that my kids are 11 months old and on the exact same schedule, I have a lot of me time. I am also able to spend loads of time with my eldest. Top three things that you used the most what would they be.... 1. Sound Machine (obus forum) 2. Swings 3. Swaddlers Two things that you bought or recieved as gifts that you never really used or did not find as a necessity waht would they be... I actually bought two bouncy/rocking chairs for both levels on my house and NEVER used them! The kids had bad reflux and bouncing didn't help them much. Everything else we used. BUT, we have had experience with our first child. Full bedding sets aren't necessary...but as a first time mom, its fun!
Piece of Advice: SCHEDULE! (can't say it enough). It totally saves your sanity to not only have the two kids doing the same thing at the same time but also to know exactly when they will eat, sleep, etc. Things I used most: Two bouncy chairs (thought I only needed one and ended up ordering another online and rush delivering it) Swaddles! I found the miracle blanket to be the best. Pacifiers Hospital grade pump + hands-free pumping bra. At one point, I fed both babies in bouncy chairs while pumping...I think I might have also tried to take a quick nap. Nothing like multi-tasking! White noise--Happiest Baby on the Block CD with CD player...we still use it. Things I didn't need: All those clothes. Wow, we got a lot. And those little newborn shirts that are kimono style--forget it. Useless. I personally never used my nursing pillows because I exclusively pumped. I got them as hand-me-downs though so at least I didn't buy them. We got a Co-sleeper which we really didn't use that much, could have done without it.
Advice: Feed one, feed the other. Sleep one, sleep the other. Change one, change the other. Do it your way and when people challenge you on why you keep such a strict schedule, ask them how old their twins are. 3 things we used the most: Bouncy chairs, soothie pacifiers, and swadle sets w/velcrow...replace swaddle sets with jolly jumper at 5 months. And I gotta add the baby bath. Its great to bath them at counter level, so much easier on the back. Still use ours every day! Could do without: Bottle sterilizer (not needed as per dr.'s reco) Bumbo seat, ours hated them Too much clothing. We just didn't go out that much so many things were just worn once or not at all.
One piece of advice: Never refuse help in the early days! My mom was a huge lifesaver, she would take care of the boys so I could nap, help with feedings (I exclusively pumped), and let me shower!! And my girlfriend was awesome at bringing by food, because otherewise, I would forget to eat! Top three things that you used: The two bouncy chairs! Lifesavers. 2 nursing pillows, I used them to place the boys in during my night feedings, and my medela pump. Two things unnecessary things: Too many newborn onesies. I had WAY too many. Hmmmmm and I didn't use the swaddle-me wraps.. we found using just a recieving blanket much better.
One piece of advice...what would it be... Keep your sense of humor and you can get through everything! One week we had a heatwave, vaccines (and fevers), then bats in our house. The exterminator wouldn't take care of it for a week due to EPA regulations, so we decided to take a trip to Cooperstown, and our car broke down. Me, pushing the boys in the stroller home, during a heat wave. I was angry, but by night I was laughing. We have to! Top three things that you used the most what would they be.... Twin nursing pillow (picked up a second one to leave at my parents house), cosleeper or twin pnp (we chose the cosleeper) for the living room to set the boys down in for naps, white noise machine (they sleep MUCH better now!). Two things that you bought or received as gifts that you never really used or did not find as a necessity waht would they be... So many clothes! You really don't need that many! You have to do laundry anyway for sheets/receiving blankets/etc. baby bathtub/chair (it was easier and they stopped crying during it when we just went in with them one at a time). Miracle blankets (our boys hated swaddling blankets, did much better with receiving blankets).
One piece of advice...what would it be... Don't worry where your LOs sleep! They don't get sleep habits until later - maybe not till 7 months. So, don't worry - let them sleep wherever they can as long as it's safe! Top three things that you used the most what would they be.... 1. Bouncy/vibrating chairs - My boys were in these forever! The slept in them for a while, then played - loved the light-up mobiles that came with them, and would have bouncing competitions! 2. Wipes warmer - i'm putting this one because i know a lot of people didn't need it - but we had winter babies, and it was so nice in the middle of the night, when I was cold, and assumed babies were cold having to change their diapers, to use a nice warm wipe! 3. High Chairs - i love my high chairs, they are another place that the boys love to sit and play. Two things that you bought or recieved as gifts that you never really used or did not find as a necessity waht would they be... 1 - bottle steralizer - what a waste - bottles don't need to be steralized before each use anymore. This was something that existed years ago when we had issues with our water, but no longer necessary. 2 - Real clothes - just don't need to put newborns in real clothes - let them be in pajamas 24 hrs a day
One piece of advice...what would it be... Listen to everyone's advice and then do it your way! Example, lots of people say to put both babies on the same schedule. I tried and it did not work for us. Once I let each baby make their own schedule we were all happier. One baby has always slept better than the other. One only takes cat naps and the other would take nice long naps and I saw no reason to wake the baby that slept through the night at 3 months just because her sister woke every 3 hours. Same with eating I HATED nursing both at the same time. Top three things that you used the most what would they be.... swings, pacifiers and burp rags. I really don't need anything else. Two things that you bought or recieved as gifts that you never really used or did not find as a necessity waht would they be... Didn't really have this problem because I have 5 older kids so I already knew what wasn't necessary.
I have a few pieces of advice: 1. It gets a lot better after 3-4 months. That sounds like forever, but it isn't really. Try to believe this. And it will get better regardless of what you do or don't do -- it just happens. 2. Don't take advice from people who don't have twins -- or if you do, take it with a grain of salt. 3. There is no "right" way to do anything -- if everyone (including you and your partner) is fed, clean, and safe, you're doing well enough. And a corollary to #3: The babies will grow out of most issues before you figure out the perfect way to handle them. Four things we used the most (I couldn't narrow it down, they were all life-saving): stroller (Snap & Go for newborns, jogging stroller after 5 months), bouncy seats, swing, Miracle Blankets Three things we didn't really need: bottle warmer, boppy, baby monitor
One piece of advice...what would it be... Appreciate all the advice, breathe it in, take a breath, and then follow your momma instincts. Read some books if you are interested because you add some perspective through reading also. But at the end of the day, only you know what is best, and everyone else's advice is based on their experience and their children. Although try to take the advice lightheartedly--at the end of the day even the bossiest are only trying to help. Top three things that you used the most what would they be.... 1. Swings - full-size, not travel-size 2. Boppy pillows (we had 2) - we used them for nursing, tummy time, spoon feeding, cushioning while practicing sitting up, etc, etc, etc. I wish I had invented that simple thing! 3. Swaddler blankets/sleepsacks 4. This is a given, but my Medela Pump Two things that you bought or recieved as gifts that you never really used or did not find as a necessity waht would they be... 1. Wipes warmer 2. Diaper Pal or whatever it was called 3. Crib mobiles - pretty but wind up and they could care less...ha ha I didn't follow directions...these lists could have been longer! Ha ha
