If you could have asked for anything...

I have a friend who is expecting twins. I want to buy her a really good present for her shower, so I was hoping that some of you would give me some input! The people in this section of the forum are parents of newborn of very young twins, and I would like to ask: knowing what you know now, if you could have asked for anything, what would have been the best, most useful things people could have bought you? She has opted NOT to find out the sexes, so cutesy pink or blue things are kind of out - I'm thinking greens and yellows, but I know all of our other friends will buy cute clothes. I'm looking for something more practical and useful.

 

That depends on your budget!

Practical fairly cheap stuff - diapers, wipes, gift certificate to diapers.com or a diaper service if they choose to cloth diaper.

Medium price - car seat, swing, double snap and go (stroller that attaches the infant bucket car seats to it), bouncer, bedding (can't have too many waterproof pads!)

High price - doula, meal service, night nurses.

Tell her to come over here to TS and hang out with us. I'll even hide the thread from her if you let me know ahead of time. Or maybe she's already here. . .

 

The shower gifts we've used the most are the Double Snap N Go and the Diaper Genie!

Even more than shower gifts, what meant the most to us were people who brought us diapers and food right after the boys were born. You can never have too many diapers those first few weeks. And having any kind of reheatable meal on hand saved us from a steady diet of frozen pizza!

 

I'm still just expecting my twins (any day/hour now really) but I've already decided that I'm going to start giving gift cards for restaurants that deliver/fast food to my friends and family that are pregnant in the future. Making sure everybody stays fed right now can definitely be a challenge and I know that won't get any better once the twins actually arrive! Beyond that, I would recommend diapers (try for size 1s or 2s - a little variety to help out down the road!). You can also use the same philosophy if you want to get clothes, get something for down the road but not so far that they get forgotten in the closet. With my singleton, we didn't have a lot of clothes that weren't from Grandma starting around the 9 month mark. Anything beyond 12 months risks being bagged up and discovered about the time that the babies move into 18 month clothes - depending on how organize the parents are.

 

A hot meal once a week that didn't need to be prepped or cleaned up after.

I had a friend who would come over and care for the babies after I'd feed them until the next freed every Friday for 6 weeks. That was great!

 

It's really almost unfathomable how many diapers you go through with twins. So boxes of diapers, with the receipt taped to the box on the chance that they grow out of that size and need to be exchanged for another one = great gift!

I also really appreciated the few people who came over both before and after they were born and just pitched in, doing dishes, mopping the bathroom, etc. 9 weeks of bedrest and three little kids meant that my house was in desperate need of help.

My SIL made a number of freezer meals for us... big pans of lasagna and such. It was so nice to have real, homemade food, without having to make it myself.

You could see about a gift certificate to a shop on Etsy for a custom made diaper bag, where she gets to choose the fabrics. I ordered one from a gal who doesn't have a shop anymore, but it was fantastic. It was well-made, big enough, had tons of pockets, and best of all one-of-a-kind!!! I loved that! Do a search on Etsy for custom diaper bag and you'll come up with lots of options.

 

I also agree about diapers (or any daily-use item that she will be spending lots of $ on). It might seem boring, but it's far and away the most practical, useful gift (she doesn't realize that now, but she will!).
I also agree about homemade meals, gift certificates for food, or even an IOU to come and spend a couple of hours once a week for a month so your friend can sleep.
Looking back, I'd trade all of the cutesy stuff we received for these practical things in a heartbeat!

 

A post partum doula.

 

After the twins are born, call her when you go grocery shopping, to target or walmart or where ever, and ask her what she needs. Tell her you are her go-to person for errands, and to let you know when she needs something. Before I had twins, or kids for that matter, I did this for a good friend of mine and she still talks about what a lifesaver that was. Now that I have my girls, I totally wish I had someone like me around lol. (About paying, I would either just pick up her card before I went, or she would write me a check afterwards. If it was one or two things I usually just didn't bother.)

 

Looking back, one of my favourite things during bedrest and the first months with the newborns were the surprise parcels my SIL sent to me filled to the brim with a useful baby items - diapers, wipes, clothes in the next size up, customized burp cloths - and lots of treats and easy meals for me - fancy granola and muesli, energy bars, breastfeeding teas, gift cards to order in a meal, chocolates, a bottle of wine for DH, a nice bubble bath for me. We never knew what was going to come out of the parcel but they were great!

If you live close enough I agree with PPs that a stash of freezer meals or delivering a home-made meal a week would be wonderful gifts!

I love sleep sacks and they really need to fit and have the right size, so you go through quite a few sizes during the first year. And good quality ones are expensive, and you always need extras in case of spit-up, leaky diapers etc. So that can be a major investment. Ask her if she plans on using sleep sacks and if she does they are very useful gifts.

 

You have received so many great ideas for gifts. Homemade meals were the biggest treat. I did not have the energy or time to cook. They were a real life saver.

 

I agree meals are great - my neighbors set us up on meal train so we didn't have to make dinner for the first month. Ironically the girls were in the NICU at the time but it was a great help since I didn't have time in between trips over there to deal with food. othewise, my double snap'n'go is awesome as are the swings. I love that becas mentioned a night nurse lol! I still dream of hiring one on the rough nights!!

 

I totally agree with FOOD. It was so hard to eat enough after my girls were born.
If you want an actual physical gift, I suggest a set of high quality kids towels--not the baby towels with the corner hood, but a real towel with a little kid design or just in geen and yellow. I've decided that that is my go to shower gift from now on because my girls, who are 7 and a half, recieved a set of quality towels at their baby shower and they are still using them today.

 

Absolutely a post partum doula. Even If you pay for one visit or something, that person will give insights on feeding, sleep and all sorts of things, plus give the momma an invaluable other set if hands. The other things I will look back on and appreciate the most are the friend who came and tackled my front garden so my shrubs were trimmed back and the fall/winter debris was clear so the bulbs would come through. Or, the friend who came and cleaned my bathroom. These gifts of time, were the most important to me. Things I couldn't do were done and people made a personal contribution. One friend took a vacation day so we could hang out and care for the babies together for the day. It was awesome!

 

Food! Organize a meal drop off for at least a month, every other day or so, if you can. My neighbor's mom's club does this, and a woman at church recently had twins and we organized the same thing for her.

No one made me happier than the person who walked in with a meal I just could eat or plop in the oven then eat.

 

Diapers, meals or cleaning. You end up with so many clothes, swings are iffy depending on the baby, but the most appreciated is just things to help the mom. Even someone to come over and hold a baby so she could do something. I recall when someone came over and held the kids while I cut up some pineapple. Something simple and I could talk to a grown-up at the same time.