Ideas for a new morning routine?

Our start back to pre-school is not going very well. The kids do not cry at pre-school and generally enjoy it (although they would prefer being at home with me and say so every day) but the mornings at home before we leave are rough and include tears several times almost every morning: They don't want to get up (they are up at dawn and happily playing on their days at home, on pre-school days I more or less have to lift them out of bed), want to play a bit longer at home, want to wear xyz which is still in the laundry, often fight about toys (which they don't usually do) - and I am constantly reminding them to move to the next step (also know as nagging), drying tears of frustration or breaking up fights etc.

So, I am looking for ideas to help my kids with the transition and create easier mornings for all of us because I am often at the end of my patience by the time we arrive at pre-school and before I have even made it to the office. I know that the mornings will never be as peaceful as I would like them to be as long as I work, but there must be a better solution or routine.

Our current routine is as follows:
5.40 am - DH gets up, dresses, has a quick breakfast
6 am - I get up and dress
6.15 am - DH leaves for work, so he can't really help
6.15 am - the children have to get up and I help them get ready and dressed
6.40 am - we go downstairs, the kids are allowed to play while I get breakfast and pack snacks and lunch for all three of us
7 am - breakfast (we all sit down together and chat for the meal) and get ready to leave the house
7.30 am - latest time for me and the kids to leave the house

 

I know, with my kids, on non-school days, they'd wake up no problem and on school days, I almost had to drag them out of bed. One of the things that helped my kids (even though they HATED it, which is why they got with the program quickly) was institute a timer. I used our microwave timer. You have X amount of minutes to eat (them dawdling over breakfast was my big issue), X amount of time to play, etc. I would, with the clothes, have them select from their clean clothes the night before what they will wear the next day. I would also if possible, pack snacks and lunch the night before to save you a step in the morning.
I didn't do this but I've seen it recommended elsewhere is having a picture chart of the morning tasks (i.e. picture of the sun for waking up, picture of breakfast food for breakfast, picture of clothing for getting dressed and other pictures of things that need to be done before leaving for school) and having them place a sticker each time they complete something. Maybe instead of making it a tedious challenge, getting ready to go in the morning could be a fun challenge for them?
As for the fighting, in my house, the toy in dispute goes in timeout. And playing in the morning, I would say it's not right and it's something you have to earn. And if they fight one day, they lose playing "rights" the next day.

 

I would wake the kids up later and give them less time to get ready. For us I found the less time to get ready the easier the morning is. I get some of my kids up an hour before they have to leave and some 20 minutes before we leave. If all they have time to do is eat, get dressed and brush teeth it leaves them a lot less time for complaining.
It'll also give you peace and quiet while you pack lunches and snacks for the day and get breakfast ready.

 

The less time they have in the mornings before we leave the easier it is for us. I find 40 minutes the best. We dress them ( DH also helps as he leaves at the same time as we do), they have breakfast, go to the bathroom and in the car. I prep as much as I can the night before. I pack out their clothes and only give them a choice of what underwear they want to wear in the morning. Water bottles get filled etc. The cereal gets put out with only a choice between 2. I do have to remind them that we can’t play at the breakfast table and they need to be finished at a specific time. I have also used the microwave timer and will put it on a few minutes short of when they need to be finished. This gives them a few more minutes to stuff breakfast in their mouths. We have left ( in tears) when one was not finished, but this has only happened twice. They know now that I mean business.

My kids find it really hard to go back to school after a long break. I find it helps to talk about going to school when they are in a good frame of mind. Maybe chat to them when they are approachable and find a happy mid-way.

Good luck

 

I just saw a guy speak on this issue last week. (Look for Celebrate Calm on FB).

His ideas were more to use the carrot instead of the stick first thing in the morning. So tell them if you get everything done before we need to go at 7:23, I will give you 5 minutes to do whatever you like and I will play with you. We could play catch, etc.

He's also a fan of starting the morning off with a good morning and a personalized compliment to each child; about the day before. I've been trying this one and have to say its made mornings more pleasant (though we rarely have to get up and get going... Their preschool is afternoon).

Finally (and here is where I didn't know I was failing) the anxiety WE have as parents when we hurry kids along doesn't make them go any faster. Really making your tone emotionless and making it clear that its their choice to either earn that extra time or not; finish their breakfast or lollygag and letting them own that is the hardest thing for me.



...and I agree with the pp, pick out their clothes at night.

Also I have good luck with preschool prep if they aren't sent to do the same task- one to the potty, one to put on shoes then switch is better than if they go together.

My last thing is I try to play as much as possible. So I pretend that I CANNOT STAND the sound of them buckling into their car seats and now they do it giggling fairly quickly. It won't last forever but it's the advantage of 3/4 YOs that it works now.

 

We use timers too, but the biggest help for us is doing as much as possible with their help the night before. Clothes, homework, lunches, snacks, all picked out or packed with their help.

My two know the routine, breakfast, teeth/hair, clothes, backpacks/lunches, go. If there's time, they're allowed to watch some television between clothes and backpacks, but only if if they had a good breakfast and no fighting with each other or with us.

 

We never have morning issues. Our morning route is:
6:30: I wake up, prepare clothes, breakfast and pack their lunch until 7-30
7:30: kids wake up by themselves
Until 8: they can wAtch tv and have breakfast
8-15: bathroom, change clothes, shoes, hair
8:15: we leave the house. I go out first then 1 kid. The last kid get out of the house will close the door. They take turns to close the door
8:25: we arrive at school

I used to have to wake them up every morning. I realized they didn't have enough sleep. So I moved up their bed time. The first couple weeks, they stayed up and played in their room until they fell asleep. But now they just go up and fall asleep in 5-10 mins. They wake up happily in the morning

I agreed with pps. The more u get ready before they wake up, the less headache u will save for yourself. In the
Morning when they get downstairs, breakfast is ready on the table, clothes, schoolpacks and lunch packs are right there for them. So basically they don't have choice.

 

I use the same routine regardless of the day (they go to preschool three days a week). It is a pain having to do the same routine when we are just staying home but it really makes life so much easier on the days they have to go to school. Completely changed how our days went on school days so totally worth it.

I have just added that they have to dress themselves. I keep a lower drawer with 3 choices of items (3 shirts, 3 shorts, 3 pairs of socks and 3 undies) in each of their dressers.

Wake up at 6:20
2 stories that they picked out the night before
They play for about 5 minutes while I brush my teeth and comb my hair
I go in and set a timer for them to dress - if they dress before it dings they get a penny for their piggy bank (and yes I've taken them both to school in their PJs and they hate it so that is also a motivator)
Teeth brushed
approximately 10 minutes to play unless someone did not dress then they have to get dressed which is now very rare
In car by 7:20 on days they go to preschool (luckily they eat breakfast at preschool)
On days they do not go to preschool we have breakfast at 7:30

Times listed are approximate. My two have to play before school. It does not work very well if they do not have that time.

 

This is what worked for us : outfits for the whole week prepared the weekend before. No playing or Screen time in the morning. Of course there would be a little race getting dressed and such but no sitting down to play with toys or games. Let them sleep while I got myself ready, prepared breakfast, lunches etc (prep as much as possible the night before). Wake them up with something they like such as a cup of warm milk or a vitamin pill in bed. Then get dressed, breakfast, do hair, brush teeth, and out the door.

 

Thank you for all your ideas.

We used to put out the clothes the night before so I will put that back into our evening routine. They usually get dressed themselves, with a little help from me.

I like the idea of a morning routine chart with pictures, I might have to get creative over the weekend.

Apart from snacks and lunches we prepare their backpacks for the next day together every evening.

I think I will stick with making snacks and lunches in the morning because I have found that asking them in the morning what they would like (a limited choice of course - ham or cheese sandwhich, apple or peach etc.) means that they bring back a lot less food and we have less waste. DS especially often says he wants only fruit and veggies and then that is what I pack for him and he never complains that he was hungry or acts hungry when we pick them up etc. but just has more supper.

I will give it a try to see if they do better with less time overall maybe aiming for an hour instead of 1.25 hours before we leave the house.