ID Twins

So I've wanted to post about this for a while now... but am just now getting around to it! LOL

Background: Since birth, we have just assumed that our girls were Frat - and whenever anyone asked (which of course was everyone! LOL) we told them frat... It surprised me by how many negative responses we got - from people telling us they were sorry they weren't ID to someone actually saying "oh, well... they're still cute anyway."
It was like - they weren't reallly "twins" since they weren't ID. My DH and I kept saying how we thought it was cool that they were frat because we not only got to see what 1 daughter of ours would look like - but 2! (These are definitley our last!)....
I've seen others posts from people with frats that have gotten similar responses... so it is much more prestigious to have ID??
the funny thing is - now we're thinking that they actually probably are ID!

 

I have frat girls and I have definitely picked up on the "ID twins are more special" attitude from outsiders.

 

We have ID twins and believe it or not since there is a pound difference between them some people do not think they are identical. So we have heard people say, "oh, they're not identical are they?" I don't feel ours are more prestigious than any other twins!

 

My two look totally different. Natalie is big and Nathan is very very tiny and some people still ask if they are ID. I say no they are boy/girl. Then they are like ooooohhhh.......okay. I have even had some people tell me it is not possible for one to be a boy and one a girl, or they say it is very very rare. I think most people do think that twins are supposed to be ID. Or at least look somewhat simular. I am glad I do have fraternal b/g twins b/c these are our last ones and now we have our one and only princess that we get to spoil.

 

Interestingly, not many people have asked us if they are ID or not. But often they tell us they can not tell them apart. However, we think they are fraternal, even though we sometimes get confused ourselves :blush:

I think having any type of twins or multiples is GREAT

 

Sometimes I think people get disappointed that my twins aren't identical and I am often surprised that people are ignorant to the fact that B/G twins CANT be identical.

Actually, I got that much attention when the twins were born that I felt like screaming "there's nothing to see here, just brother and sister born together' lol. My twins don't even look like siblings, in my opinion, and I guess I couldn't figure out what they were wanting to look at. That and I was too tired to want to deal with anyone.

 

QUOTE(marylane @ Aug 14 2008, 10:13 PM) [snapback]931059[/snapback]
I think having any type of twins or multiples is GREAT


oh, I sooo agree with this! I absolutely LOVE having twins - regardless if they're ID or not
I was just surprised by people's respons to them being frat... and how funny that people STILL ask if they're ID to all of you that have B/G!! what a hoot! (but I bet gets VERY OLD quickly - LOL)

 

I think it's just interesting that there are so many stereotypes and ideals for twins...people have their own "should be" list when it comes to twins...Sometimes I just wanna say, "They just share a birthday" and leave it at that! LOL
All twins are special and even more special are the mom's chosen to mother them!!! Yea us! ha ha

 

I have ID twins, and like Debbie, don't think ID is any better than Frat. It's all the same. I am shocked however about seeing how many ppl have gotten stupid questions and comments about their twins..I haven't taken the girls out really..just to dr. ...so haven't had these comments yet. oh, i'm just so excited..lol

 

That was one of the questions that we didn't have an answer to. "They" always ask, don't they? Question #1 is always, "are they twins?" and question #2 is always "are they identical?" The answer of "we don't really know" usually invited speculation. My standard answer was always, "they never looked alike to ME!"

 

I just remind myself that more than 90% of the general population doesn't even know what identical means, just like the confuse paternal with fraternal So how can they possibly have an opinion on what is "better"!!!!

 

This post made me laugh. When they were little babies, DH and I took them out to the boardwalk by the beach. There, a woman spotted the twins and came in for a closer look. She noticed right away that they weren't identical, to which she responded, "Ewww, gross, I don't like that kind." She actually seemed repulsed. We didn't know whether to laugh or smack her. (We laughed...at her, by the way.)

 

QUOTE(twoin2005 @ Aug 15 2008, 12:48 AM) [snapback]931296[/snapback]
This post made me laugh. When they were little babies, DH and I took them out to the boardwalk by the beach. There, a woman spotted the twins and came in for a closer look. She noticed right away that they weren't identical, to which she responded, "Ewww, gross, I don't like that kind." She actually seemed repulsed. We didn't know whether to laugh or smack her. (We laughed...at her, by the way.)


NO WAY! that's just wrong!
I'm glad you got a kick out of it though - and I have to admit.. I sort of chuckled myself over here -

 

I don't know if my boys are ID or not. But I get both kinds of comments. Some people come up to me and tell me that they must be ID and then ask me if they act the same and then if one of the boys flashes his handosme smile then they say "oh, that must be the easier one". Oh the comments! I was told they would most likely be frat (di/di) and liked the thought of that better then having ID as I have a 2 year old son too and worrying about the twins having a stronger bond being ID and leave my older son out. I also worry about identity issues that ID twins might have. However I am excited to see the bond and journey that only twins have fraternal or identical- its going to be fun!

 

People always ask me if mine are identical ... sure, boy and a girl?! I think most people don't even know the difference, they just ask anyway. Twins are twins, KWIM? We're now in Hong Kong and among Chinese (and other Asian people) twins are pretty uncommon so we have a lot of pictures taken of our twins! However, we have at least 8 sets or so living in our building ... all foreigners (and a big building).

 

I've had people tell me mine are "almost identical" (well, before they got different haircuts). :huh: Like they're trying to comfort me, and like they need glasses, because aside from the broad strokes (both girls, both white) they are nothing alike.

I think this is because for people who don't know anyone with twins, only ID twins stand out. When my girls are in middle school, for example, no one will know they are twins unless they tell someone. So people probably casually know lots of frat twins, but aren't aware of it. They only notice people who look alike, and the idea that "twins look alike" gets stuck in their heads.

Speaking as the person who carried them and nursed them, they surely were twins as much as ID twins are.

When I found out it was twins I was hoping for frats. Not, at the time, because it's less risky, but because these were the only children I would have with DH and I wanted two chances to see how that would turn out.

 

QUOTE(shandy @ Aug 14 2008, 08:50 PM) [snapback]930985[/snapback]
So I've wanted to post about this for a while now... but am just now getting around to it! LOL

Background: Since birth, we have just assumed that our girls were Frat - and whenever anyone asked (which of course was everyone! LOL) we told them frat... It surprised me by how many negative responses we got - from people telling us they were sorry they weren't ID to someone actually saying "oh, well... they're still cute anyway."
It was like - they weren't reallly "twins" since they weren't ID. My DH and I kept saying how we thought it was cool that they were frat because we not only got to see what 1 daughter of ours would look like - but 2! (These are definitley our last!)....
I've seen others posts from people with frats that have gotten similar responses... so it is much more prestigious to have ID??
the funny thing is - now we're thinking that they actually probably are ID!


Most people think that same sex twins are always identical. Once someone asked me if I wasn't disappointed to have a twin brother (who, of course, is my fraternal twin) because he couldn't be my "mirror" and my "best friend" (he is my best friend).
People who have same sex frats are always complaining about this attitude too. It seems that being ID twins makes you be so special. Yes, it's rare but actually, the only kind of twins that doesn't exist is "my kids are only one year appart, just like twins."

ID or frats, they are twins ^^

 

My girls are identical, and I do find that I get more attention than my sister when we are out with our twins together. (Hers are frat.) I don't get it either.... :huh:

 

QUOTE
and worrying about the twins having a stronger bond being ID and leave my older son out. I also worry about identity issues that ID twins might have.


Sorry to say that but it can happen to fraternal twins too, even b/g twins. I have identity issues and I know a set of frat twins who has a little brother, they don't pay him much attention... I suggest you don't call them "the twins" always ^^ most twins I know (including my brother and I) hate that because it makes us be "one" instead of "two". Good luck with your sons ^^

 

People are DUMB!

 

We get the ID question sometimes. (people must be blind! lol) but I have never gotten a negative response when I tell them they are Frat. In fact, the only response that I've gotten to the "no, they are fraternal" is .."that's good, they can be their own individual" -shrugs-

I've never gotten a negative response about the twins ever. The only semi dumb remark i've gotten besides "are they boys" (when wearing all pink) is "two for the price of one" If only!

 

My boys are ID and it drives me up the wall when people *have* to see both of them. I've had people ask me to turn the one that's not looking so they can see - then they get all excited. They actually notice that they are ID's even if they don't see both faces, not sure why.

What drives me nuts is Mason is just as cute as them but we've had people ignore Mason, look at Caleb and then have to run around to the side of the van where DH was putting Connor in his carseat and have to see what he looks like. That's ignorant IMO.

 

I definately get the vibes that ID are more special from people. When I was pregnant I was told they were frat (di/di) so when anyone asked me what I was having, I said "frat girls" and I was amazed at how many people acted like they weren't "real" twins. Once we found out they were ID (at 4 months) and whenever anyone would ask or see the girls, they would act like they were so special b/c they were ID?? I didn't get and still don't. My husband had a run in with a waitress one day while wearing a T-shirt that had a pic of the girls on it. The convo went something like this:

Lady: Are those your twins?
Dh: yes
Lady: Are they ID or frat?
Dh: ID
Lady: Oh that is so special, my cousin has frats and they aren't real twins?
Dh looking bewildered here

He didn't know what to say (I wasn't with him so I couldn't have jumped in) but people actually think this??

 

I tend to find the most common comment we receive is "Oh, the perfect family. One of each! Now your done." I've given trying to explain that you CAN have ID b/g twins, it's just super rare and results in the girl child having Turner's Syndrome.

See attached article
http://www.twinsmagazine.com/facts.html

My OB also said that this can occur, but there have only been a couple of documented cases worldwide.

 

QUOTE(snowmom @ Aug 15 2008, 12:09 PM) [snapback]931798[/snapback]
I tend to find the most common comment we receive is "Oh, the perfect family. One of each! Now your done." I've given trying to explain that you CAN have ID b/g twins, it's just super rare and results in the girl child having Turner's Syndrome.

See attached article
http://www.twinsmagazine.com/facts.html

My OB also said that this can occur, but there have only been a couple of documented cases worldwide.



So are yours ID B/G twins??

 

I've had a few persons ask if they are ID and when I say we don't think so, they say "Oh, well they are beautiful anyway!" HUH? ANYWAY?? Was that a complement???

 

QUOTE(twoin2005 @ Aug 15 2008, 12:48 AM) [snapback]931296[/snapback]
This post made me laugh. When they were little babies, DH and I took them out to the boardwalk by the beach. There, a woman spotted the twins and came in for a closer look. She noticed right away that they weren't identical, to which she responded, "Ewww, gross, I don't like that kind." She actually seemed repulsed. We didn't know whether to laugh or smack her. (We laughed...at her, by the way.)


I have boy/girl twins - the gross kind!

 

My husband's family seems to think so. There are 3 sets of twins - ours - no doubt about it 5mo old frat boys, 3 year old frat girls who I still can't tell apart unless they have their hair pulled up, and 2 1/2 year old ID boys (who ironically I CAN tell apart!). The IDs get all the attention. Who would have thought? Several people in his family have said our boys are super cute, but "it's a shame they don't look anything alike." To which I respond - I don't think so. At least one of them was lucky enough to not get the M family nose!

 

How do you not know for sure they are ID or Frat? When I delivered my girls that actually sent off the afterbirth and tested it all to give an answer which was they were ID. I don't think it is more special but I have to admit when I was pregnant my DH said "What is the point in having twins if they don't look alike?".

 

QUOTE(Kandi117 @ Aug 15 2008, 04:13 PM) [snapback]932360[/snapback]
How do you not know for sure they are ID or Frat? When I delivered my girls that actually sent off the afterbirth and tested it all to give an answer which was they were ID. I don't think it is more special but I have to admit when I was pregnant my DH said "What is the point in having twins if they don't look alike?".


With IDs I think the only way to know 100% is to have DNA testing. For those of us with Frats sometimes it is obvious. My two don't even look like siblings, much less like identicals.

 

I have id twins, and I honestly do not think my twins are any more "twin" than fraternals. I do have to admit that I do think that some people are more likely to find id twins "better." Not sure why. I have plenty of friends IRL that have fraternals and when we go somewhere together my boys get a lot more attention from people than theirs. After going to Twinsdays, I can understand the interest. It was odd for me to see so many people with a "copy." (The funniest tshirt I saw there was one twin had "crtl+c" and the other "ctrl+v") For the first time I understood the interest in ID twins.

On a side not, my DH really hoped the boys were fraternal. He did not want ID. He thought they were "creepy." He has since (obviously) gotten over that feeling.

 

I've just talk to the daugter of my mother's friend... and she told me that last year there were triplets in her class... "Two of them were actually twins". I guess they were ID twins and the last one was their frat twin... Still, I thought each triplet was the twin of the two other !

Oh, and you're kinda lucky when you live in a english speaking country because you say "identical" or "fraternal". In France, we say "false twins" and "true twins", like "real" and "non-real" twins ?

 

hmm i dont think i get any pity looks my girls are only 3 mos old and i do dress them alike i think thats a great perk in having twins!
IM asked all the time ID or FRAT but when i say Frat most ask me "are you sure?" :huh: umm quite thanks

 

QUOTE(MichelleL @ Aug 14 2008, 10:00 PM) [snapback]931009[/snapback]
I have frat girls and I have definitely picked up on the "ID twins are more special" attitude from outsiders.


I agree with this too.. I love our frats and love seeing what 2 boys of ours would look like!

 

I think it's sad that someone would think it's better to have IDs or fraternals. Heck, some people think having multiples is better than having one. We place importance on the craziest things.

Oddly enough, I experienced the opposite response from the multiples camp when I found out I was having IDs. I was quickly told by experienced multiples moms about all the problems IDs face as compared to frats as if my pregnancy was flawed, not as good as their's. And I couldn't help notice the "oh no" sort of reactions when a newly pregnant mom would post at the expecting forum that she was having IDs.

Every crow thinks his is the blackest is what my grandmother used to say!!