I will never make it til they're teenagers!

Ok, does anyone else sometimes feel like they are at the end of their rope with their 3 1/2 year old twins? My girls will be 4 in March, and lately, especially, behavior has been rough. They are really trying our patience, every chance they get, for fun, it seems. They are doing things they know are wrong, just to get a "reaction," sometimes. No matter how we respond, it's not getting any easier. All of a sudden at school they are hitting other kids, (which they never did before) refusing to do what the teacher tells them, and just plain disobeying, and laughing about it. They spend a lot of time in time out at home, and my husband and I always talk to them about their behavior, but I'm at my wits end some days. Any advice? Or at least tell me some of you are in the same boat. It really is true that misery loves company! ha ha
P.S. I really DO love my girls more than life, but at this point, I'm beginning to think I'm NOT having any more children......

 

Ok, does anyone else sometimes feel like they are at the end of their rope with their 3 1/2 year old twins? My girls will be 4 in March, and lately, especially, behavior has been rough. They are really trying our patience, every chance they get, for fun, it seems. They are doing things they know are wrong, just to get a "reaction," sometimes. No matter how we respond, it's not getting any easier. All of a sudden at school they are hitting other kids, (which they never did before) refusing to do what the teacher tells them, and just plain disobeying, and laughing about it. They spend a lot of time in time out at home, and my husband and I always talk to them about their behavior, but I'm at my wits end some days. Any advice? Or at least tell me some of you are in the same boat. It really is true that misery loves company! ha ha
P.S. I really DO love my girls more than life, but at this point, I'm beginning to think I'm NOT having any more children......

 

I'm not at the age you are with your twins but I have to say that infanthood (especially since my girls were here so early) seems to be forever long.

 

My girls will be four in 10 days. They have been quite a handful the last year I would say. Their siblings point out that they are out of control. Personally I think it is that stage of independence and testing their boundaries. We have had to crack down on them and they seem to be getting the message that certain behavior will not be tolerated and will be punished. I just find it humorous though when one gets in trouble and the other repeats word-for-word what DH and I have just said, even in the same tone. I know they will get better and I am seeing those days more often. Four year olds love to help and be given responsibilities, so I am looking forward to that stage a lot!

Hang in there. Believe me this stage is easier than teenagers. Enjoy!

Rose

 

Mine aren't there yet, but I have heard scary things about three-year-olds. Look on the bright side -- yours are almost 4!

 

I'm noticing this with one of mine, but it's the one who's always been a little more difficult so I'm not surprised! I've had to lay out my expectations more often and clearly define the consequences of misbehavior in advance. That helps most of the time. I have spanked her on occasion, when I've given her fair warning and she's deliberately defied me.
I'me reading Dr. James Dobson's parenting book now which has given me some ideas.
Good luck. I just keep telling myself it's a phase!
Janet

 

OMG! you just described my three year old boys. Cameron is usually really good, but lately he has tested me on everything!!! I have lost my patience numerous times in the past few weeks. I need to work on that, but they just are so defiant. He has started agitating his brother constantly and then Mason starts whining and hitting. So, I am constantly pulling them off each other and Cameron thinks it is funny and bedtime with him has become a nightmare. I thought the 2-3 year old stage was hard - I don't know if I can take much more. Sorry I am venting but wanted to let you know that I am right there with you.

Deana
Mom to Cameron and Mason born 11/26/03. Induced at 38 weeks.
Cameron - 6lbs 3oz
Mason - 5lbs 14 oz

 

First off, welcome.

Second I am SO TOTALLY THERE WITH YOU!!!!

Except its not the twins yet but the singleton. I love that boy more than life itself, but EVERY morning I sit in my bed and pray that it will be different. The constant timeout, the geting on him about hitting his brothers, which has NEVER happened before, and the ungodly amount of potty reminders!!!!! is driving me nuts.

Misery loves company so come on over and I'll make lunch!

 

I hear ya! My girls are almost 4 1/2 and they're in a "good" phase right now. Aidann is the instigator and she gets Brianna good and riled up so that I'll have one crying and whining about what her sissy did to her and the other is loud in defending herself (and there's never been a GOOD defense, either!). What has worked for me is threaten to take something away that they love...lucky for me my girls go through love stages with different things slowly so they get good and attached and the threat of me taking it away hurts. I still have the ups and downs of the new phase that I call "Frazzling Fours" (last year was the "Thunderous Threes") but it does seem to be getting easier to find a solution to their behavior. My girls, by the way, have never been in daycare or preschool so I'm kinda scared as to how they'll be in preschool come August!

 

it will improve!

my boys just turned 4 and we are entering a much better phase.

if you were to do a search through my posts you would find NUMEROUS ones asking how to deal with my 3 year olds. they really tested my patience.

my advice to you is to stick to those time outs. you have to be consistent and not let them get away with things.

the other bit of advice is to not forget to still you 'distraction'. if you see/hear that things are about to go haywire try to get them moving into a different activity. i know at some points i felt like we should have been passed that and that they should have been listening to me... i think the answer to that is a yes and a no. they are still little people and you can only expect so much.

i have a very even temperment and the boys had me going ballistic every day. it was awful. i would take a break (thanks to preK and my MIL) but still when i came back i'd be frustrated with them very quickly. for me, i realized that i needed to change my approach with them. they needed my attention in different ways.

good luck!

 

I have 4 1/2 year old twin girls, and this past week I constantly felt at the end of my rope. My girls are so very different, both wonderful in their own way, and both aggravating in their own way. One of my girls is fiercly independent and stubborn. She can be so wonderful, sweet, and cuddly. But when she has her bad moments, she's like a woman with a horrible case of PMS! I'm not kidding you... she just wants to be angry. This is how it has been for the past week. She is fairly intelligent also, so the words that come out of her mouth are like talking to a snotty teenager. At one point I told her, "Lindsey, we love you and you are a lot of fun to be around when you are happy. But you are no fun to be around when you are acting like this." She yelled at me, "Mommy! I'm not a toy!". When I got her to explain what she meant by this, she said, "Mommy, you said I'm not fun. Only toys are fun, not girls!" This is what I have been dealing with the last week. She argues about words ("applogize" vs. "appologies"), stands at the top of the stairs screaming because I walked away and didn't carry her downstairs (when she never asked for such treatment), refuses to get herself dressed, etc. etc. etc. And then one day, she's back to normal (happy, silly, smiling, proud to do things by herself, etc. etc. etc). And when all of this crabby stuff is going on, her sister gets sad, mopey, clingy, cries easily, etc. etc. etc.

So I know how you feel. All I can say is, hang in there the best you can. It gets better. I don't know if that was any help at all.