I was totally devistated when I got home yesterday

ok I'm a diaper changing fanatic I look at it like this I know I wouldn't want wait til I had a full diaper to be changed .....so I don't care if I have to change 5 diapers in 15 minutes.....anyways normally my mom comes to my house and keeps my babies and I have drawer in my changing table that I fill every night with diapers and wipes and they usually go through the whole drawer of maybe 20-25 diapers in a day...( my little ones fuss if even a little bit wet) well my mom fell the night before and wasn't going to be able to show up so I asked my neighbor who is in the process of opening and day care if she could possibly watch them for the day......so she said sure no trouble and I didn't worry a bit.....but every time I'd call to check on them she said they were being really fussy......now my babies are usually happy all day and fussy all night so I thought maybe they just aren't used to her.....well when I got home she was giving me the low down from the day....and she told me Mekaila pooped and had a few good wet diapers.....and Jacob didn't poop but had 2 good wet diapers.....2!!!! I was so upset to know my babies were unhappy all day because they had to sit in wet diapers for long periods of time.....I just cried and their little bottoms were just beat red.....NEVER I mean NEVER again will I trust them to anyone besides Grandma....I'll call in sick if she can't make it....I feel like such a bad mom leaving them with her now.

 

Don't feel badly. You did the best you could in a situation with limited solutions. Your babies are used to being changed frequently, but some people only change babies when they think they "really" need it. (Not that that is best- but I know several moms who work that way) I wouldn't stop letting others care for them, I would just make sure to outline your expectation that they get changed a certain number of times or at set intervals (every two hours etc.) I'm sure the sitter would have done that if she would have known that you expect it and the babies are used to it.
:hug:

 

Its really hard when you leave your kids with some one else to trust that they will do things right. Did you tell her before hand how you go about nappy changing? When your kids get used to something its hard on them when its not done the same too. Id stick with your mum if she does a good job. Please dont feel bad :hug:

 

Don't be too hard on yourself, you didn't know she wasn't going to change them enough! Like the pp mentioned - did you tell her before you left how often you like for them to be changed? I noticed that after I brought my girls to the play room a lot of times they would have very heavy, wet diapers, so I just let the ladies there know that I like them to have a fresh diaper on for the car ride home and it's never been an issue again. :hug: It is hard to leave your babies with someone else.

 

No I didn't tell her I guess it was my fault I just assumed that she would know to change them when they were wet...I never thought that she would wait til the diapers weighed more than the baby to do it.....I guess that was just my ignorance. I just thought everyone changed babies when they pottied

 

Don't beat yourself up about it, sweetie, there is no way you could have known. I think the other posters have some great suggestions here regarding communicating that they need frequent diaper changes.

I use cloth on my kids, and I can ALWAYS tell when a diaper is wet because it feels wet, but when I do use disposables, it's a little harder to know sometimes because they don't feel wet. Maybe you can get that kind of pampers with the stripe that changes from yellow to green when they are wet so that the sitter can tell more easily?

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Sep 25 2008, 07:48 AM) [snapback]996729[/snapback]
No I didn't tell her I guess it was my fault I just assumed that she would know to change them when they were wet...I never thought that she would wait til the diapers weighed more than the baby to do it.....I guess that was just my ignorance. I just thought everyone changed babies when they pottied

It's not your fault but it's true...lots of people don't change a diaper unless it is soaked. Perhaps giving her the guideline of checking/changing once an hour like a daycare, at the least, would help. Some people have a hard time telling if a diaper is wet and some brand of diapers are harder to tell too.

Sorry about the red bottoms, but that hopefully will clear up quickly.

 

Man- you'd think I'm awful! We average about 4 diapers a day each (more when they were as little as yours, though). You can't feel bad; you did what you had to do. Like others said, just make sure you are very specific if you have anyone else watch your LOs.

 

Wow, add me to the irresponsible ones. We also go through only 4 diapers each a day. I only change them if they are REAL wet or poopy.

I do however, ask others who's kids I watch in a pinch what they expect. (I wouldn't want them to think I didn't care about their kid) Honestly most say "Only if they really need it."

After saying that, I know how heartbroken you must be. There are other thinks I am ANAL about, and I think when we are attentive to something, our babies get used to that too. I would be VERY sad if I knew my babies where sad all day about anything.

Sorry! I'm sure if you told her what you expected, she would have been glad to do it!


eta: I just noticed how old yours are. I did change them a LOT more then, but still not nearly every time they pottied. Mine never cared about being wet. (Or poppy for that matter, but I couldn't take it then!)

 

:hug: Dont beat yourself up! Next time you will know that you have to be specific about your "wants" for the kiddos when others are watching them.

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Sep 25 2008, 12:48 PM) [snapback]996729[/snapback]
No I didn't tell her I guess it was my fault I just assumed that she would know to change them when they were wet...I never thought that she would wait til the diapers weighed more than the baby to do it.....I guess that was just my ignorance. I just thought everyone changed babies when they pottied


I never changed mine every single time they were wet and wouldn't think of using so many diapers with someone else's unless they specifically asked.

 

Brandi, I'm sorry you went through that! We usually change diapers every 3 hours (unless we smell poo, are ready to go out, or they just feel a little heavier then usual). Everyone has different standards of care, don't beat yourself up over it. Next time, you'll know to tell a sitter that if the babies even seem the slightest bit fussy please check their diaper (usually when mine are fussy that is the first place I go, Luke could not stand a dirty diaper as a newborn).
:hug: You are doing a great job, Momma, stop beating yourself up

 

:hug: Ok, Breathe... I think that it is fine to leave them with someone other than Grandma, but next time make sure you let the person watching them knows what your expectations are ahead of time... Just let the sitter know that your babies get fussy if they are wet so if they seem fussy then check thier diaper... Personally, I change my kids at least every 2 hours whether they need it or not during the day. If I had a sitter I would let them know that I would like them to get a new diaper at least every 2 hours. Don't beat yourself up, you did what you needed to do... Consider this a learning experience and now you know that you need to let people know how often you want them changed... I know a lot of moms do wait unit the diaper is FULL before they change them...

 

I only change mine before feedings or right away if poopy. I think everyone does it differently, so just make sure next time you make it clear how you want it done! But I know sometimes you think people should know how it's done, but they don't I'm pretty anal about some stuff and it would drive me crazy if things weren't done a certain way.

 

Don't feel bad. :hug: You wouldn't believe how many people go for many hours before changing a diaper. It's the norm. I've had a few moms who switched to cloth who were freaking out because their diapers leaked after 4 hours. Four hours? Four hours is way too long between diaper changes in the daytime. A baby should be changed if they get wet but people don't do it that way. You are just really consciencious about it. BTW, with all the diapers you go through your really should look into cloth. Cloth diapering is really easy now with one-piece diapers, custom absorbency, velcro, and a simple wash cycle. I did it with the twins, my singleton, and soon this new baby and much, much prefer it to disposables. It's also better for the baby since you don't have chemicals and there is less incidence of diaper rash.

 

Don't beat yourself up. :hug: The redness will go away and the babies won't remember or care, but I know what it's like to feel terrible that your little ones are sad/upset and you weren't there to fix it. It's a terrible feeling. Just try to chalk it up to a lesson learned, and know that from now on, you'll need to be very specific in how you want your babes taken care of. FWIW, I'm one of those who also change immediately after a poo, and then every few hours, but mine are a lot older. When they were little, it was after every poo and basically every nursing session or nap. It would not have been as often as you do, so unless you told me that's how you wanted them changed, I would have assumed changing regularly would have been fine.

 

QUOTE(snoopytwins @ Sep 25 2008, 01:52 PM) [snapback]996837[/snapback]
It's not your fault but it's true...lots of people don't change a diaper unless it is soaked. Perhaps giving her the guideline of checking/changing once an hour like a daycare, at the least, would help. Some people have a hard time telling if a diaper is wet and some brand of diapers are harder to tell too.

Sorry about the red bottoms, but that hopefully will clear up quickly.


Personally, I don't wait until they're soaked but usually look at the clock and feel occassionally, especially in the morning, my boy drinks a lot. If I would change for every peepee, I would go through a pack a day. I would say every 2 hours is pretty normal (that's what they did at my oldest's preschool class, age 2). Younger kids maybe more frequently.

Don't beat yourself up, but also don't make your sitter feel bad. Different people, different way of doing things. If you want something very specific and/or your child has specific needs, tell them. You can't expect them to know how you do things and the other way around.

 

Thanks everyone....I probably wouldn't change them as much but when they were first home I waited longer like you all do maybe 2 hours or so and they got rashes so I've found if I change immediately they are rash free now.....and I will look into cloth diapers......

question on the cloth diapers......how do you clean out the poo? Do you put a liner or just rinsh in down the sink or something?

 

Im sorry you were disappointed with your neighbour. Just tell her next time to change them more frequently.

Im also one who changes nappies every 4 hours. However, if they poo in-between feeds, I change them. Mine go through about 5 nappies each a day. I also use Sudocrem on their bottoms and so far, no red or sore skin! At night my 2 sttn so they go about 8-9 hours without a nappy change. The nappies are super absorbent and I use lots of cream.