I was told 4 is better then 3 and 5 is better then 4

My oldest is 5, my twins will be 3. I figured I would post in here for some insight. Donevan is not an easy child. He pushes my buttons constantly. He was an excellent 2 yr old though but I paid for it when he was 3, and paid some more for it when he was 4. I was told that 5 is better then the 3's and 4's. I am only 2 week into the 5's and I have to say he is just getting worse! I am seriously thinking something might be wrong with him! I just need some insight from those who are there. Does 5 get better or are people just placating me?

 

I think it really depends upon the child! I don't think one can't make a blanket statement like that for all kids. With my two (b/g twins), 5 is definitely better for my son, but worse for my daughter thus far (attitude!!) 4 was better for her. 3 was horrible for both of them, LOL :laughing:

 

Two was great, three was horrible, four was pretty bad, and five has been, well interesting.

They turned five in August, August was horrid for both. September was horrid for both. October was mostly good for Royce, but not so good for Alice.

November has been great for Royce, and it started pretty bad for Alice. She went to the principal's office for attitude and insubordination, but I've since found out that her reflux has come back, so feeling crummy and not sleeping (I'm hoping) contributed to her bad attitude. But even with the reflux, after the trip to the principal's office two weeks ago, she's been acting much happier and better. And not pushing every single one of my buttons.

 

2-3-4-5 were just fine here. Age typical stuff and nothing out of the ordinary.

We had a lot of changes from 4.5 to 6 (moved several times, job loss, etc) so I am surprised that we did not have more behavior issues.

DD1 had some rough times at age 3 for sensory stuff, but not 'behavioral' to just push buttons and 'willful' type behavior more sensory overload that just took us awhile to learn what triggered her! She has gotten better and better every year. BUT her personality leans toward people pleaser and happy-go-lucky.

DD2 was easy at 2,3,4,5....but 6 was interesting with a 6 month bout of just horrible behavior. Lots of testing of limits and arguing, whining, etc. It seems to have subsided now at 7 and we only see it when she gets too tired. She is very much a type A personality with a strong-willed personality. I was surprised that 2-3-4 was so smooth with her to be honest. I think it caught up with us at 6!!! At newly 7, it has improved but still honestly more challenging to parent than she ever was at 3-4-5.


I would say it depends in the kiddo!!

 

Thanks girls! He is just so defiant, and the crying and whining is enough to push me over the edge. He has nights where he is up multiple times and I don't know how to fix that short of tying him to his bed. I am pretty sure the lack of sleep doesn't help. For example he was up at 3:30 this morning and didn't go back to sleep. It was a HORRIBLE day. I was over it by 9am. Tomorrow we have a kids Christmas party and I am hoping he gets a full nights sleeps and wakes up in a great mood.

 

Was he a good sleeper before? Alice was a good sleeper before and that should have clued me in before all of the other reflux symptoms started back up that something was physically wrong with her. Royce OTOH, has never been a good sleeper and his behavior has not been terrible lately, even when he gets less than 10 hours of sleep.

I'll tell you a secret, one day last week or the week before, I was so fed up with her bad behavior that I gave her a dose of benedryl with dinner so she would pass out and sleep. It worked, she was in a great mood the next day, but I felt guilty about drugging my child for the sole purpose of making her sleep. Hopefully when the insurance gets off of it's duff and approves one or the other of her reflux medicines she'll feel even better (I give antacids regularly now). She was a little turd yesterday. . .

 

He was a good sleeper before. No clue why he is up multiple times a night now but there are some nights I am up every 2 hrs chasing him back to bed. My mom found him downstairs one night and he does not remember coming downstairs, he thinks it was a dream. I am beginning to wonder if he sleep walks?!

And don't feel guilty, I've done that with Donevan too.

 

Sounds like my son a little - although he has had sleep problems since he was a baby. We've been in therapy for his meltdowns/behavior. For the most part he's a sweet, well-mannered little boy. He doesn't purposely try to push our buttons. But he's also very smart, perceptive, particular (things have to be a certain way), very rules-driven - can't go with the flow or deviate from things easily, very very strong-willed and stubborn. For the most part, on a regular basis, he can cope fine and we have no issues. I just pick up on the little quirky things that make him him - basically he seems like an adult trapped in a 4 year old body. But if there is any outside trigger - like being hungry, overtired, etc, it triggers these meltdowns and he can't cope anymore. And when he's having a meltdown there's no helping him. He can't calm down on his own, and we all know it - including him. And no one other than my husband or myself has ever witnessed it, so he can hide it pretty well. Anyway, I don't know if this is your son or not. But the therapist we're working with said this type of termperment describes most of the kids she works with. She describes him as having poor frustration tolerance, and that he hyperfocuses on things that make him crazy and he can't let go once he's in that mode. She said parents come in thinking oppositional defiance disorder, OCD, sensory processing issues, bi-polar, etc. but it's not - it just kind of looks like some of this sometimes. She also said she has had lots of experience in testing intelligence levels in children, and this correlates with having a higher than average intelligence. These are some good personality traits to have as an adult - but hard to parent as a child. We're working in the next few sessions on how to discipline/handle the behavior. So I'm looking forward to hearing her ideas. I'll post an update when we get further along, if we get any worthwhile ideas out of it.

If the sleep issues your son is having are new though, hopefully you can figure out the trigger, and that will help fix some of the behavior issues. I know all too well how badly sleep problems affect behavior - and how hard it is to get back on track to fix it! I wonder what's making him wake up and not go back to sleep for long stretches? My son does that too sometimes, and it drives me crazy. He's just completely wide awake - I think it's the mind working, and the wheels spinning, which he never seems to shut off. Sometimes he'll be completely content and just awake - other times he'll be so crabby and mean and makes ridiculous requests for things that make me so angry to be woken up over. In the morning, sometimes he doesn't remember and sometimes he does and thinks he was valid - like yeah, I wanted you to read me a story (at 4 am!) because it was bedtime - which I then realized he didn't know he had fallen asleep and woken up again - he was still thinking he had never gone to sleep and it was 9:00 at night. It does help that he is able to communicate more, because at age 2, there were some nights I wanted to list him on e-bay!

 

The boys turned 5 today and I was looking for advice on the same type of thing. 4.5 to now has been horrible. Don't get me wrong there are super smart, sweet boys in there and we do see that side a lot. At those times it's as good as it gets right now. They are learning so much and becoming their own little people. At the flip of a non-existant or invisible switch lately it's one whiney, miserable child and one mean, crazy boy. It's gotten nuts around the house lately. The incessent whining, that I was so sure we were done with, is back. The constant Mommy's are in full force, and it's even more frustrating this time around because I know that they know what "After dinner" or "Just a minute" means now.\

So, no help (sorry), but glad to know we are not alone and that my kids, especially Logan, hasn't lost his little mind!

 

That's Donevan! To a freakin T!!! Except her has meltdowns wherever. He is very particular, has to have things in his room just so, things have to be done a certain way, etc. He is smart, although I haven't had him tested. He goes to a French school, I threw him in basically, I knew he needed to be challenged, he didn't speak the language, he started last yr at the age of 3-4. Now at just turned 5 he can carry on a complete conversation in French and switch back to English without even thinking of it. I am bilingual as well. He was an early talker, loves being challenged and I find if he is bored, this is when he acts out the most. He also has issues when he gets over stimulated, so I have to limit tv and computer time etc. He NEEDS quiet time or else he is unbearable. I would love to hear more about how it is going with your son.

 

Nope he hasn't lost his mind lol I am so dreading when my twins are 5 if Donevan is any indication on how it's going to be!

 

My daughter has been a very easy 5 year old. Prior to 5, she would throw tantrums and be a pain, but since she turned 5 she has been a lot better. My son, not so much. We have a lot of whining and defiance and it is tough. I have found that he is worse when he is tired, so we have bumped their bed time up since starting school and that has helped in some ways. We are still trying to work through some of his behavior issues and he has been better in the last few weeks.

 

2, 3, 4, 5...........they are all better than 11, 12, 13, etc. :girl_devil:


Sorry, that wasn't helpful, but that's where I'm at right now. I'd go back to toddlerhood in a heartbeat if it meant I could avoid preteen hormones and all the chaos it brings!



However I bet if you searched my old posts you might find a few of me complaining of some tantrum that came out of nowhere in one or the other of my angelic little ones.......

 

Oh god Preteens and you have girls! I feel like I have preteens sometimes though, especially with Donevan. One min happy and laughing, the next crying and screaming. I am forever thinking WTH?