I was asked today....

OOPS!

DH's grandma asked me today if I was pregnant and I replied "I'm just fat." She didn't buy it--so then she turns to DH and said "She's lying isn't she?" DH just kind of avoided the question and asked her something else. She dropped it, but I felt bad about not telling the truth. We just aren't ready for his family to know yet. I am planning on waiting till Christmas to tell everyone. I'm stealing Becky's idea (Thanks for the idea Becky) of making the girls shirts that say they are going to be big sisters--and then see if anyone notices them. Of course, I already have a pretty good sized bump so by Christmas it will be really noticable and everyone will figure it out from that.

The real reason I didn't tell his grandma is because of the way she asked. She says "Tell me it isn't true, is it?" I asked "What?" And she pointed to my belly and said "That." Well, when you start out negative about it I'm definitely not going to want to tell you. UGH! Why can't people just be happy for someone when they are expecting??

So, I guess I'm not going to be going out in public much now. I have told my mom--she watches the kids for me when I have appointments. At least I don't have to avoid her until I am ready for the world to know.

 

QUOTE(G-Mom @ Nov 22 2007, 04:29 PM) [snapback]505936[/snapback]
The real reason I didn't tell his grandma is because of the way she asked. She says "Tell me it isn't true, is it?" I asked "What?" And she pointed to my belly and said "That." Well, when you start out negative about it I'm definitely not going to want to tell you.

I am the SAME way. Of course, not speaking only about announcing a pregnancy, but with anything in life. It's all in the approach and GMA didn't have a great approach today. :hug99: Thank goodness DH stuck by you and dismissed it!

 

Sheesh...I don't blame you with the way she brought it up. What is with people??? The odd thing is that I'd never think of my grandparents generation as being this way....I mean all of my grandparents and all of dh's grandparents came from families that were huge....around 10 siblings...so to them having 3 or 4 kids is no big deal..even more isn't a big deal. It just surprises me to hear of someone from that generation who responds negatively toward having kids. My grandparents all think it's just peachy. Even my parents think it's wonderful. (Now I'm not sure what my mom would say if I pass 5 kids...she might draw the line at that...but she had 4 kids herself and it was no big deal to her.) The negative reactions I expect to get come from aunt and uncles and siblings.... my SIL already thinks we're nuts for having 4 kids and flat out told me to "put a cork in it." anyway, sorry your grandma was so blunt about things... I think asking about pg is a big no-no... I mean what if you really had just been picking up more weight??...then you'd feel really hurt. hope your announcement goes over well at christmas. sorry you don't feel free to announce it earlier to your dh's family. that just stinks...but hopefully the secrecy gives you a few more weeks minus the rude, insensitive comments you expect to get.

 

I am so not a fan of the 'negitive' comment approach either. I'm sorry your g'ma was like that.

I also just endured a whole family eveing (with DH's side) of "so, I see you've been packing on some weight". I know it's just their way of acknowledging my prego belly (it is getting pretty big these days), but I would have much rather heard, "wow, your getting big!".

 

Geesh, people. I ran into a girl from HS today and mentioned I was pregnant and she looked at me like I needed to be commited and said " AGAIN?" I reacted to her by saying " I have been pregnant one other time and my girls are 4 1/2 what do you mean again, thats got to be the dumbest thing anyone has said to me" and finished what I was doing. Thats the 3rd time someone has said this to me and I really do think its a dumb comment. I never thought anyone would have any negative comments about being pregnant, but apparently alot of people have one and dont mind sharing it with us. I am sorry you had this happen!

 

I *suppose* you can steal my shirt idea...lol!!! It turned out well for us. I would be upset with your gma starting out so negative too. I HATE stuff like that. I Hope youy have fun telling everyone at Christmas.

 

:hug99: I am sorry they are like that!!

Oh, and I used the shirt thing way back when I was pg with Esther! So, I think that s a great idea!!

I hope you are feeling well!

 

QUOTE(twinzmom2b @ Nov 23 2007, 07:07 PM) [snapback]506655[/snapback]
I *suppose* you can steal my shirt idea...lol!!! It turned out well for us. I would be upset with your gma starting out so negative too. I HATE stuff like that. I Hope youy have fun telling everyone at Christmas.

Well, thanks for your 'permission' Becky. I would probably have done it without your "okay" anyway.

I told my DH I don't even want to tell anyone at Christmas now. We've been dreading the negativity from everyone and that just makes me not want to tell anyone even more. We will be moving next month and won't be seeing anyone after New Year's Day (girls' birthday party) so I just have to figure out something to wear to 'hide' the fact that I am pregnant and then we will just call people after the little one is here. I don't even want to tell my MIL-she'll be worse than his grandma was. He's on board with not telling anyone else-so we will probably try to do that. It probably sounds crazy but I need support not people feeling sorry for us or thinking this is a horrible thing.

 

QUOTE
The real reason I didn't tell his grandma is because of the way she asked. She says "Tell me it isn't true, is it?" I asked "What?" And she pointed to my belly and said "That."

Sheesh, what does she expect you to do? Return it to the baby store and get your $$ back? I'm sorry your ILs are butts. :hug99:

 

So the root of the negativity from them is that you are so young?

I'm so sorry you are going through this with them. This should be a happy time for you.

It's good that you have your mom. Right?

 

QUOTE(marieber @ Nov 24 2007, 11:18 PM) [snapback]507678[/snapback]
So the root of the negativity from them is that you are so young?

I don't think so. His family and I haven't really ever gotten along--I'm pretty sure they were hoping we wouldn't get married. I think that is most of it. The odd thing is--when I got pregnant with DS-DH and I had only been dating a short while and his whole family was ecstatic about it. Who knows what goes through their minds?!?! :unknw:

QUOTE
It's good that you have your mom. Right?

It's a wonderful thing that I have my mom. She's my best friend and I couldn't get through anything without her. She told me to have as many kids as I wanted and could handle-she didn't mind. She even said she'd watch them all if I ever needed her to. She has 8 biological children and 4 step so she knows the negativity that someone people have about having "a lot" of children--and she started younger than me.