I want to pull my hair out...

ok Brandon goes to bed just fine...Brianna no matter what just screams as loud at she cans till she falls asleep.this goes on even with out a nap..I thought she just not tired if she takes a nap..she screams for 30 min to an hour everytime even to the point of busting blood vessels around her eyes....I have no idea what to do...she is not scared...she just doesnt want to go to bed...she is a very whiny child and likes to get what she wants all the time and hells and screams all the time...esp when we are out and about...

I have no idea what to do..I spend an hour sometimes just putting her in time out..any ideas for night time or during the day to get her to stop this screaming fits....I am about to lose my mind..I thought it was a little thing but its been going on for months now with the sleeping...she is fine in the morning...just plays, she just has major additude...HELP

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. There is nothing more difficult to listen to than a child screaming and not knowing how to make them stop.

I wish I had some answers. The only suggestion I can make based on my most stubborn children is to try to find some kind of choice to offer her.

If you .... then ....

I don't know her well enough to give specifics, but some of the things that might work with my strong willed three year old would be:

If you keep screaming then we have to close the door, but if you will lay quietly and go to sleep we can leave it open.

or

If you keep screaming then R (twin sister) will have to start sleeping in J's (baby brother) room, but if you can go to bed calmy and quietly she can sleep in the room with you.

There are some things that punishment will not quell in one of my twins, (no matter how consistent I am) she is VERY strong willed. She does not give in. The crazy thing is that she will cooperate really well when I give her choices and she has the chance to think through some options. The trick is finding the thing that works and still establishing that you are the mother and you make the rules.

I hope things get better soon - before you make yourself bald.

 

I would recommend reading 1-2-3 magic. It covers the time-outs, reward charts for doing good behavior like going to bed, being good on outings etc... and it's a system you can use for all kids.

It sounds like a power struggle with her.

My daugther likes to piddle around bedtime and ask for 1 more drink, 1 more book etc. We do a chart with her for her daily activites that we want her to well (start behaviors). She earns stars for those things and those stars then translate to how many stories she gets for bed and how many minutes of cuddling after the stories. after taht she knows it's lights out.

You might consider some kind of reward system that rewards her when she is doing good things (and ignore or 1-2-3 count the bad behaviors).

HTH

 

I don't have any advice I just wanted to send you a I know how hard it is. Audrey did that for a while last year and after a few weeks she just stopped doing it. I hope this is a phase that passes for you too.

 

Thanks so much for the advise..its been very hard, she is very strong willed and doesnt give in to anything...its been this way almost since she turned 1 now at almost 3 1/2 it just gets harder...I dont give in either..its just the fits the screaming the standing there and throwing herself to the ground when we are out and about..

I try and give her choices but its like she doesnt care...she only wants what she wants....and that is everything in sight...I still wonder if its she might just be having a hard time with getting these out on how to tell me things..I have tried the sticker thing..even vinager...yes I know it sounds gross but I didnt know what to do..well it didnt work..a friends doc told her to try it just put a little water and vinager in spray bottle that will fit in your bag, they say its not bad...vinager is good for your..they just hate the taste..well she covers her mouth and just does whatever again and again....Its like she is controlling me and I dont know how to get it back even if I feel I dont give in...she just screams more and more and you can only handle so much, alot of people say 4 is better..I really hope so. I am at my wits end here now..

 

ok I am losing it big time...I found myself holding her down in her bed..(not hard) but yelling at her to stop screaming and I left the room and let her scream her brains out...and she still is...She is out of control she can be good in a normal day till you ask her anything...then thats when the screaming and kicking come in..I cant take it....I know she can be good...she is a child...my husband is worried thats it ADHD or something also..she cant just sit there more than a min for anything either....what to do what to do....


sorry I just had to vent some how.....
Thanks for listening

 

I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time with her. I don't blame you for leaving her there to scream. That's probably what I would do.

Have you spoken to her pedi about the behavior issues. That might be a good place to start. Good luck!!

 

I talked to the school to see what we can do since they tested below what they are supposed to be...she wont set to do anything really at all...she wont even try to learn..her brother will count to 10 and see and say all his letters..is cant do either yet or even try.....Some friends told me to look into to see if its something like ADHD (sp) not sure if thats the way to even say it for children......either way I just want to help her...and to try an keep my hair...