I thought it was supposed to get better at age 2!

Dh and I had a long talk last night b/c we are at our wits ends and wondering what we are doing wrong. Our problem is times 2 but one of the boys(Cooper) is MUCH worse than his brother. Eli will listen 50% of the time. Cooper listens about 2% of the time.

Cooper is the more advanced(speech, understanding, physical) of the 2 and acts the worst. He will just defy you on purpose and look at you for a reaction. We have tried to no react to him or ignore it but after an enitre day of constant whining, hitting and biting from both boys I will snap. We have tried time-outs, re-direction, etc. Nothing seems to do the trick for him.

I took the boys by myself(crazy I know) to an outdoor birthday party Saturday where they were having pony rides and a cook-out. All I did was chase them around and tell them, No. They were getting into everything! At one point I had some little sassy kid(diff story) say, "Hey lady in the pink get your kid away from me!" Then I overheard some lady there say wow I once wished for twins but I'm glad I don't always get what I wish for. It made me feel like damn my kids must be really bad

What makes me feel even worse and something dh and I talked about last night was how Cooper drives us nuts to the point we just get irritated with him sometimes. Eli can do something and we laugh under our breath at it(stick his tongue out when we tell him to do something) but then Cooper tries it and we get irritated. We don't favor one over the other b/c we love them both the same but we fear other people will start to avoid Cooper. Eli is just so layed back and funny but he's no angel. Cooper is so wound tight and like a ball of energy. He flips if things aren't his way and done right that second. The kid can repeat his self 20 times in 20 seconds I think. I can be fixing his juice and he says, Juice Mommy Juice Mommy Juice Mommy Juice Mommy until I hand it to him. Doesn't matter how many times I tell him I'm working on it, you see me working i on it.

Everyone kept telling me it would get easier with twins once they hit 2. ha ha ha ha, jokes on me!

There are times I just want to throw my hands up in the air and say I give up.

 

Um, not sure who told you it got easier at 2, but IMO, they were CRAZY!!!! I'm still waiting myself. Between 2 and 3, they are really in to asserting their independence and pushing your buttons, they can drive you nuts at times. :crazy: Sure, there are things that get easier, but then other things get more challenging. Hang in there, before you know it, they'll be teenagers!! :wacko:

 

Not true!!!! It does not get easier at 2. I feel exactly like you do. I have a more aggressive Ds too. It is so embarrassing sometimes that I want to cry. I just really try to avoid, what I call, uncontrollable environments, especially when I'm by myself. I think about where we are going first, how I am going to control my boys while we are there, and when is enough, enough. And if it gets bad, we leave, so I don't get frustrated. I don't have an answer for the behavior, as we are dealing with most of the same things. Just know that you are not alone. No child is perfect and neither are their parents.

 

Wow, your boys sound like my 2. Jesse is more laid back and funny (but no angel) and Jayden is a little tyrant and usually starts the trouble.
It doesnt get "easier" at 2 .. but it gets "better" at about 2 1/2 and then worse again at 3.
I get comments all the time .. my boys have been known to get out of control time to time and I end up running off with them in tears (me AND the boys) .. I didnt have this problem when my singletons were little ... but they "play" off of each other alot and I have a hard time getting them BOTH to cooperate once they get started. I'm hoping 4 will be the magic number.

 

I know my boys are younger but I have one that bites/pulls hair/gets into everything and one that is a snuggler and really laid back. It is sooo hard to deal with it (and I'm just doing another post about it). They are about at the age that people are starting to really look at me and expect me to be able to reign them in more (they both are very very active) and I just don't know what to do with them. I don't want them to be the kids that everybody talks about as being ill-behaved. They are sweet, good-natured but, sheesh, I don't know what I'm feeding them but their energy level seems triple other kids their age. so no words of advice, just commiseration.

 

I started using 1-2-3 Magic at age 2 and it really helped me tremendously. Saturday at Sam's club, I found a spot to put Martin in time out. I find that consistency and follow through NO MATTER WHAT are KEY! If you EVER don't follow through you are asking for trouble. I don't know how you are, maybe you do follow through.

I would do a search and ask my pedi for recommendations about books for disciplining your boys' personality types. There are all kinds of resources. Picking the right one is the key!! Good luck. Don't wait - you need to get a handle before it just gets harder. They get bigger and stronger and the tantrum's get more fierce.

I'm sorry you are at your wits end :hug99: !!!

 

It did not get better at 2 here either....different. Easier at night (no wake ups), but harder to 'keep track' / entertain them. Somedays I would rather stay home at times than go out- because they are hard to do when they want 'out' of the stroller- but dont stay with me if they are alone.

Hold on----it is slooooowly getting better. We went to Sams the other day and for the first time I did not feel- frazzled- afterward!

KC

 

now i'm depressed!

 

OH my goodness I am too! (depressed) We had a terrible day today (biting, hiting, squeezing flesh, choking) and I was so hoping it would get better...... but now I am scared it will get worse.
sigh...........
In case this makes you feel any better, we were officially kicked out of the YMCA for 3 weeks today. DS bit anotehr kid for the 9th time in a few months, so he is not allowed back for 3 weeks. I am quite sad. That was my ONLY break in the week, and it was a 3 hour excursion (driving there, having lunch, daycare for them, driving home).
Do you think the hospital will take them back for the moments they are bad? ha ha ha

 

After dealing with the 2's, I was hoping the 3's would be better. However, since the 3's start on Sat and it's getting worse, now I'm praying we make it to 4!!!!

Hang in there!
Mendy

 

In many ways newborn twins were easier than my 2 (almost 3) year olds. Yes, the newborns had to be fed at 3 am, but they stayed put and didn't thow temper tantrums.

Now people are telling me it gets better when they turn 5. Anyone want to confirm that rumor?

 

My boys are one day younger than yours and are also a handful!!! However, I have found in the past week or so they have grown up a bit! I now have one that will tell the other one to follow instructions. It is so cute!! Yesterday, Heath was running down to my parents house and I yelled to wait for mommy and Grayson stopped and yelled at Heath to stop and wait!

I felt the same way as you just a month ago, but we seemed to have turned a albeit very small corner, but I now look forward to seeing them again when I get home from work.

The only thing I have really started to do with them is have them help me more. For example, when getting juice, I have them hold their cups. I know it can be messy, but it really calms them down and makes them a bit more patient.

good luck!

Jen FB

 

You know Steph, mine had a rough phase shortly after they turned two. Grace's biting, they'd fight and throw tantrums anytime we went anywhere, I was going a little crazy. But it's gotten a lot better lately, we're back to being able to shop and go places in relative peace. And they were angels in church this weekend.

So maybe you are in just a short, bad phase.

I also recommend the book "1-2-3 Magic", we've been using that method.