I think the Exorcist has moved into our house

My DS just got over a nasty 5 day virus. Prior to the illness he had just started to have tantrums a few weeks before, where he would fall on the floor and roll across the floor while crying. Well, yesterday these didn't seem like tantrums in that there wasn't an obvious trigger but he did it again today where I did see a trigger. What he is doing now is crying hysterically, trying to run into a tight space, and hitting his head against the wall. If I pick him up he arches his back and fights me and if I put him down he immediately goes over to the wall and hits his head against it. He was also pulling at his hair at one point (I was afraid he was going to pull some out). But NOTHING seems to help him to snap out of it. Obviously I don't want to ignore it if he is hurting himself. Today it went on for an hour. I can't handle this. I almost lost it at one point because I hate to see him doing this and then not seem to have any end in sight. And then if I have to hold him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself I feel like I am neglecting my DD especially because it goes on for so long. Has anyone else's child thrown tantrums like this? What did you do? Did anything help? We are going to the ped today for the 18 mo appt but I wanted to get advice from other twin mommies. TIA!

 

My goodness, an hour?! :shok: That's a long time to be going through a tantrum and hurting himself. My guys have certainly thrown things, hit themselves, and banged their heads (Nate likes to slam his face on the floor ) during tantrums, but they usually get over it within 5 minutes. Does he continue if you walk away for 2-3 minutes? I know Nate gets way more wound up if I pay attention to his fits. If your DS doesn't settle down when you walk away, then I'd definitely ask the ped. He could be having a reaction to the virus or the meds he was prescribed. ardon:

Good luck and let us know what the ped says!

 

I totally agree with Valerie! I agree that leaving him alone is the best option and totally ignoring him. I have a head banger and the more attention I pay to it the more he does it. If you feel that you don't have any other choice but to hold him, then make sure that you show NO emotion. Don't talk to him, don't look at him, nothing.
Have you tried totally walking out of the room as soon as it starts? Then he has no one to tantrum too, kwim?
Let us know how things go!

 

My advice to you is 1) Please take him to the doctor office ASAP to make sure this is not an ear infection or other physical reason – which IS possible if he just got over a virus (ear infections don’t always cause fever and the pain can be sporadic. One of my twins is INCONSOLABLE at times when he’s had ear infections). Also, for example intestinal pain (gas or irritation) has made both of my twins inconsolable too… at 1st we didn’t think for any reason (for instance, right before or an hour ro two before BM). Your son may be in pain and not able to express what is going on.



2) If it is not a physical reason, I 3rd the other opinions and try ignoring it- it worked for us, and I don’t think your son can hurt himself based on what you described – although I admit as a parent watching it can be unnerving (check with his Dr. just to make sure). I am NOT a doctor, but here is my opinion on might be going on if not physical:



IMO your son might have started this before illness because he realized it got him attention, and might have excacerbated when sick because he felt yucky and didn’t know how to express what was going on. You paid attention to it when he was feeling bad, which you should. However, he may have figured out it gets him attention/held/etc. and he might be continuing this behavior for attention – when he wants attention. I do not think your son can hurt himself by doing what you described (but I would call the doctors office to make sure).





We have 1 that used to have NASTY tantrums rolling on the floor kicking head banging, at times biting himself or pulling his hair, etc. It really freaked me out. None lasted an hour, but I’d say for a good 30 minutes or more. For him WHEN HE’S NOT SICK OR NOT FEELING WELL, it turned out to be one of 2 things:



1) He was hungry or thirsty.

2) He wanted attention.



At first we’d hold him, etc… in fear of him hurting himself, but the behavior was getting worse, and until their pediatrician told us that toddlers usually do NOT have enough force to seriously hurt themselves by banging their head and running into walls, etc… if he’s jumping off of things that might be another matter. I hope this gives you some comfort in which I do not think your son can hurt himself by doing what you described (but I would call the doctors office to make sure).



So what did we do? Now if he starts pitching a fit offer food, drink, briefly. If it continues, *most* of the time we ignore it (if it’s not due to feeling well!)



What happens now? He very rarely does this at home now, but does this a LOT a daycare. Daycare provider freaks out and rushes over and picks him up and tries to get him to stop. He decides he wants attention and he pitches a fit. I watched this happen there – he banged his head on the floor and looked at her and screamed until she picked him up.

 

I agree with PP's...I would rule out any physical causes for the tantrum (reactions to the medicine, etc.) and if there is nothing physically causing this...then I would go with the ignore tactic...that is what worked for my two and I realized that a lot of their tantrums were due to being unable to communicate what they wanted. Once their verbal skills improved it got better.
That being said, I would definitely check in with your pedi first. Keep us posted!

 

Thanks for the responses everyone. He wasn't put on any meds for the virus so that wouldn't be the cause. The ped recommended putting him in a pack & play when he starts doing that. I thought that was a good idea because then I won't have to worry about him hurting himself. I agree that once he can start communicating it will probably get better but I feel like they are behind in that area but the ped wasn't really concerned about that just yet. But now we have another thing that came up for me to worry about. I had noticed that it seems he bruises easily. Like when we pick him up by putting are hands around him under his arms and our fingers touch his back, it seems that it is creating bruises on his back. The doctor ordered bloodwork and asked if hemophelia runs in my family. It doesn't but from doing research it doesn't have to and it is mostly boys who have it. Of course from doing searches I found that leukemia is another reason for easy bruising so I have been trying not to freak out but it is hard.

 

As many wise women before me have said: Stay away from Dr. Google!! :hug: You will only find the worst-case scenarios on the Internet. I'm pretty sure that vitamin C deficiency also causes easy bruising, as well as a host of benign things. It could be that he just bruises easily. ardon:

I think the ped has a great idea about putting him in the PnP when he is tantruming. Please try not to stress (I know, easier said than done), and wait for the ped to let you know what the results are on the bloodwork. When do they come back?

Take care! :hug: