I think I am obsessed

I seriously do (my DH probably does too )!

First off when the girls are awake, I am obsessed with them being entertained/stimulated - either by me or DH or by themselves. I don't like them just sitting there not doing anything (i.e. in their boppy). If they are in their boppy then I am singing or talking or making faces at them or showing them toys. Or they are on their activity mat or in their bouncy chairs and I am showing them their toys. Basically, every waking minute I want to make sure they are doing something. I know this helps with their development but part of me is afraid that I am going to overstimulate them even though I do know their tired signs so I stop when they are tired and let them sleep. Friends have told me it is good for them to learn to play on their own so I am getting a bit better!

Second, I really don't want them watching ANY TV at this age. They are fascinated by the bright lights and when it is on, one of them usually likes to turn her head in that direction and watch. When I am home alone I don't put the TV on when they are awake but when my DH is home he really likes the TV on. So, I am forever telling him to turn the girls' heads or block the TV with something.

To the experienced mothers, please tell me that I will calm down about these things soon enough! I am going to drive myself and my DH crazy!

 

I seriously do (my DH probably does too )!

First off when the girls are awake, I am obsessed with them being entertained/stimulated - either by me or DH or by themselves. I don't like them just sitting there not doing anything (i.e. in their boppy). If they are in their boppy then I am singing or talking or making faces at them or showing them toys. Or they are on their activity mat or in their bouncy chairs and I am showing them their toys. Basically, every waking minute I want to make sure they are doing something. I know this helps with their development but part of me is afraid that I am going to overstimulate them even though I do know their tired signs so I stop when they are tired and let them sleep. Friends have told me it is good for them to learn to play on their own so I am getting a bit better!

Second, I really don't want them watching ANY TV at this age. They are fascinated by the bright lights and when it is on, one of them usually likes to turn her head in that direction and watch. When I am home alone I don't put the TV on when they are awake but when my DH is home he really likes the TV on. So, I am forever telling him to turn the girls' heads or block the TV with something.

To the experienced mothers, please tell me that I will calm down about these things soon enough! I am going to drive myself and my DH crazy!

 

Your babies dont have to do something all day everyday. Babies are content just sitting there. Their brains are constantly working, soaking in the world around them, so you dont have to keep them entertained. Your friends are right, they need to learn to keep themselves entertained as well or you will go CRAZY as they get older and constantly demand you play them all day everyday. Its best to try to break the habit now rather than later.

Trust me, your babies wont be delayed by watching the lights on the tv occationally, they are just taking in the lights. And they wont be delayed by just sitting there as long as they have some type of interaction in the day.

This mommy stuff is tough isnt it

 

Hi T!!! Babies do need to be by themselves for a while...they actually like it. My god, I would drive myself nuts if I had to entertain both of them all day long. In the mornings they have independent play, so DS is on the activity mat and DD is in her chair or swing. Then next play time I try and do together...on the floor and they are so cute trying to grab each other and smiling etc. Then the last playtime they do the same thing...usually in their chairs with a toy, (a teddy, links or rattle).

Now that they are better at entertaining themselves, I can fold laundry, tidy up and eat lunch while they are playing. I don't have to wait for them to be napping for that anymore!

My two love the TV...I have no problem with them watching for a few minutes here and there, especially if it distracts them long enough for me to go to the bathroom or something. It is only the bright lights and moving objects that attracts them... I doubt at this point they are taking in anything from it. DD especially loves any type of sport (like hockey or football)!

Hang in there...set them up in their boppies and get some lunch!

 

I agree with the PPs. I have a Master's Degree in Child Development and during my coursework learned just how stimulating the world itself is to a new brain. Please, save your sanity and give your babies calm space to take in the new world. Lights, sounds, faces, outdoors, all of these are extremely stimulating. And for me (I have 4 children), the goal is to nurture imaginative, independent thinkers that don't always rely on me for entertainment. I definitely spend time playing with my babies (5 months), but they are very content to play on their own as well.

Good luck, I know being a new mom is demanding, nerve-racking, and amazing!

Jenn

 

agree 100% with previous posts. More food for thought: think about it from their perspective too. Would you want someone/something in your face all day long? I am easily overstimulated and can tell when the boys have been too (Gma's have a hard time letting them just be).

I also find that the boys pick thing sup more quickly when they are given space to think about/explore it on their own w/o me "helping" them.

 

Thank you so much for your comments. Everything you guys have said makes perfect sense. If my DH knew what you guys said, he would also thank you!

 

My DH and yours could probably compare notes! My DH calls this my "all or nothing" personality. I was obsessed with making sure I did all the "right" things and making sure they had none of the "wrong" things (which included tv). Almost two years (and a baby brother) later, I've mellowed considerably. My kids play on their own really well. I think they enjoy not having me there all the time running the show. They are very imaginative and creative, even at 22 months. As far as the tv, well... my MIL introduced them to tv at 4 months. I was horrified, but I got over it and have found a place for it in their lives. At the age your kids are at, they would watch a few minutes here or there, especially if DH had sports on. Now at 22 months, they watch a little tv almost every day. It calms them down significantly, it keeps them still when they are ill and need to rest but can't sleep and it has definitely taught them things (they know some spanish words from Dora, they "pat, pat, pat" with the Little Einsteins, etc). Take it easy on yourself - it sounds like you are doing a great job with your kids. A little tv and some time to play on their own will not hurt them. In fact, it will probably benefit them greatly. My goal is to not use words like "never" and "always" anymore... parently has taught me (okay, it's really forced me) to be more flexible.