i need to make a bedrest exception

I've been on bedrest for six weeks now, the last three weeks have been strict (only getting up for the bathroom, otherwise lying down). I think I need to make an exception in the next day or so. My husband's stepfather is dying and he is going to go any day now. This is our last chance to see him before he passes away. We are thinking of going over to see him one last time - he lives 5 minutes away. I will have to climb or be carried up two flights of stairs. In my heart I feel like this is the right thing to do, but I'm just wondering what others think. Would you do the same under the same circumstances?

 

For me, it would depend on why I was on bedrest, and how it would affect my babies. Although family is important, if it is something that could cause you to go into preterm labor (especially the stairs) and negatively impact your babies, then I would NOT do it. DH would have to go alone and hopefully understand.

In my bed rest case, I would have gone b/c I didnt have any specific issue, i.e pre-e, shortened cervix, etc. I just had to grow babies. So, I would have gone. But then again, I was on 'bed rest' taking care of two toddlers all day, so that shows just how much rest I was actually getting anyway.

Good luck with your decision.

 

I really hate to say it but at 27 weeks I would not chance it. If I were you I would stay put. If you were to deliver now, it could be devestating to your babies - your husband's stepfather would not want you to risk that I am sure.

I am so sorry about your husband's stepfather.

 

I, too am so sorry about your husband's stepfather, such a sad situation for your heart to deal with. Really you need to consider your babies and what would happen if they were to deliver now, you really should stay put. You are not on moderate bedrest for a reason, consider why you are on bedrest and talk to your doctor. If nothing else, call your doctor!

 

I agree with everyone here. I know it's not the same but maybe you could call him instead. So sorry to hear about your husband's stepfather.

 

So sorry to hear about your dh's stepfather! I would call your dr and see what they think and as pp said, you may have to settle for a phone call. :hug:

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dh's step-father Have you spoken with your doctor about this? They may have a way for you to be a little safer about it, like perhaps a wheelchair. If you do end up going to see him, please don't walk those stairs! If you had access to a wheelchair, that would be ideal so you could be wheeled to the car, slide into it, wheeled into the house, etc. I would be very careful though as you make this decision. I was on strict hospital bedrest and even just my time in the wheelchair would send me contracting. GL!

 

Have you called your doctor? I would only go if he/she okays it.

 

Wow, thank you so much for all your replies. I forgot to mention that I'm on stict bedrest for a short cervix. I'm down to only 1cm and funneling. Other than going to MD appointments I've been at home and horizontal the whole time.

As it turns out I talked to my doctor; he said go, just take the stairs very, very slowly. But, I've decided not to go. After talking to DH we decided that if anything were to happen we'd never forgive ourselves. So, he will go and I will call while he's there. I just hope my MIL understands. What an awful time and what awful timing. Another thing that factored into our decision was the timing; that this is the critical week - i.e. I'm almost at 28 weeks. It might be different if I were at 32, but I'm not. Ugh. Very difficult decision, but this is the one that I can live with and won't regret.

Thanks again for the input, it is very, very helpful.

 

Nope. There is no way that I would go, especially only being 27 weeks. I think you and DH made the right decision. It's just not worth the risk. :hug:

 

QUOTE(ThreeLittleSnowflakes @ Jun 3 2009, 01:55 PM) [snapback]1339901[/snapback]
Have you called your doctor? I would only go if he/she okays it.


I agree. and if you do get the OK Id have my DH carry me those 2 flights of stairs anyway

 

I'm sure your MIL does not want to risk her grandchildren. And remember there is always a chance that he will hang in there a little bit longer. The father of a good friend of mine was in the terminal stages of lung cancer, expected to go any time, when he found out his daughter (my friend's sister) was pregnant with his first grandchild. He held on for 10 months after that, long enough to spend a month with that first grandchild. :hug:

 

I am glad you decided not to risk it. My FIL was very ill throughout my pregnancy, and he pulled through I think in part to be able to see our girls be born. But DH would have never let me break bedrest rules to go see him either. It was hard. Sending prayers.

 

I'm so sorry that you had to make such a tough choice, but I'm really glad you've decided not to risk it. Like PP said, he may hang in there to see the babies. I've heard of that happening many times where someone holds on for some big event despite what the doctors expect. Regardless, it's just not worth risking your babies. They need you to stay put for a few more weeks. Walking up stairs actually triggered my early contractions (at 22 weeks) so when I read your original post, my gut said NO WAY! Take it easy and keep those babies safe.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your husbands stepfather. :hug: And that you and dh were put in this situation to make this hard choice. I'm glad you aren't going because you are right, you wouldn't ever be able to forgive yourself.


:hug:

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your husbands stepfather, that has to be very tough at a time like this! :hug: I think you both made the right decision and I am sure he would think so too. Hang in there!

 

I have to agree with everyone, I don't think that you should put the babies at risk, the stairs are obviously a big problem, but what about the emotional aspect of being there in "person" It might feel like the right thing to do, but I have had to say goodbye to my grandmother and it was the most exhausting day emotionally and physically I have even experienced. This part may prove to be more trying than the actually stairs, plus I know from experience being carried up a flight of stairs, is a sure way to get your heart rate up, you will be without even realizing it tensing every muscle in your body. I would hate to be in your position to have to make the decision, what ever you decide there is no easy answer, but I truly feel the less of the two evils would be phoning him, or maybe use msn video on two laptops if that is possible?

 

What a tough choice to make, but I think you're right in staying put. I was on strict bedrest for a short cervix also. With your being 27 wks and funneling, then I would think it was pretty risky. :hug:

 

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I just wanted to share a similar situation. My grandmother, who I was very close to, died while I was pregnant. It was in the same time period you are in - before 30 weeks. I was not on bedrest, but she lived in a rural area more than an hour from any decent NICUs, and my doctor told me I couldn't travel. So, I had to make the hard decision to not see her before she died, and not be at her funeral. I just want to say that everyone in your family will understand, especially your husband's step-father. There is no way my grandmother would have wanted me to risk the babies at all - she was doing her best to live to see them - and everyone in my family understood. Even though in retrospect we know that it would have been fine (I didn't deliver until 37.4 weeks), I am still at peace with the decision I made to follow my doctor's advice. I know that your husband's stepfather would not want to risk your babies. I'm so sorry for what your family is going through.