I need non-CIO nap suggestions

I am sure you are sick of me posting about Ainsley not napping. OK, I'm sick of posting about it too!
To briefly sum up: Ainsley has not taken a good (more than 30 min) nap in a month. I have tried making naptime later, laying down with her, wearing her out (this worked once), putting toys in her crib so at least she would stay quiet, and now we are on CIO. The only thing that does put her to sleep is the car. She will sleep up to an hour in the car.

It is Day 5 of CIO. Things are not getting any better. If I saw some improvement, I would stick it out. She has stayed quiet for a max of 30 min. I let her cry for the rest of the 1.5 hrs. She has not gone back to sleep. The time of crying and length of nap have not improved.

What else can I do? I am really reaching my breaking point with this. I can't stand hearing her cry, I was starting to feel abusive. Mind you, I am not against CIO, I have done it for bedtime, but at least with that it gets better every day. OTOH, when I go get her and then try to keep her amused until Bea wakes up, frankly she can be annoying. She gets whiny and clingy and I start resenting this whole situation. Does anyone have non-CIO things that have worked?

 

If you hold/rock her to sleep how long does she stay asleep?

Jazz at nap time will go lay down and go to sleep when told to. Jessy still has to be held and then laid in the chair NOT the floor. Both then sleep around the same amount of time(today was 2 hours).

 

Have you tried some white noise, like an air purifier? I use them in both the twins' rooms at naps and bedtime. Also, make sure it isn't too warm in the room. It's better to have the room temp cooler and dress them in long sleeves/pants than to keep the room too warm. I can't think of anything else...

 

I haven't read all of your posts so I don't know what you have already tried but it helped us a ton when I put one of my girls in a different room in a pack n play. She has been napping since! HTH.. I know how frustrating it can be especially if it's the only time that you feel like you can have alone.

 

I did have one that CIO worked great for and another stuborn one that would cry the entire nap time instead of going to sleep. What worked for him was for me to stand there with my hand on his back until he fell asleep. I would have to let him cry though until Michael fell asleep or Michael would never fall asleep.

So basically I would let him cry for about 15 mins go in and put my hand on his back and lay him down. Then I would leave and if he started crying again I would give him another 10 mins or so and then go in and lay him down and stand there with my hand on his back for a minute or so and leave again. After a week or so of this he was back to napping fine.

Edited to Say: I guess I contradict myself a little, because I think I have done both: stand there with my hand on his back until he fell asleep and go in several times putting my hand on his back for a minute or so. These methods worked better for him than CIO. This would have never worked for Michael because he was immediately hysterical if I was in there and not picking him up. Luckily CIO worked great for Michael.

 

She does have a clock that makes ocean sounds. We use it for night and naps. It did help for night, as she was waking at every little sound in the house before.

They are separated for naps. Ainsley is in their room in the crib and Bea in the PNP in another room. I picked Bea for the PNP since she is more adaptable. She would sleep anywhere.

I used to hold and rock her to sleep every night and for naps until 9-10 months. It got to where she would wake the second I set her down and I would have to repeat the process 3-4 times (sometimes two hours for bedtime). I finally had enough of it and did CIO for bedtime. After I did that, I didn't have to do it at naps, she miraculously fell asleep on her own. I haven't wanted to resume it for naps as I don't want to make it a habit again.

I may try the putting my hand on her back thing. Maybe she doesn't want to be alone?

Thanks for the suggestions, keep it coming!

 

Mine also sleep in the floor for naps( w/ a pillow and several blankets). Sleeping together at nap helps them. I can't wait till we move and we can put them back together in a twin bed(they're too big for the crib together.

 

wrap her? in a sheet then rock/hold her until she falls asleep, My nephew had to be wrapped until about 18 months before he would sleep freely.

 

Kelly- no solutions here but I have to say- I think Ainsley and SYd are twins HEHE!

 

Awhile back I had mine seperated for nap times and Alex's kept getting shorter and shorter. Dh suggested maybe they want to be in the same room, like they are at bedtime. I tried it and it worked. I know it goes against what most people think, but mine actually nap better if they are in the same room. I think it is that whole seperation anxiety thing. Who knows, you may want to give it a try.

 

I know you said you tried having nap time later, but have you tried making nap time earlier? HSHHC recommends this approach and it might work.

good luck!

 

quote:
Originally posted by jacob+twinsmom:
Awhile back I had mine seperated for nap times and Alex's kept getting shorter and shorter. Dh suggested maybe they want to be in the same room, like they are at bedtime. I tried it and it worked. I know it goes against what most people think, but mine actually nap better if they are in the same room. I think it is that whole seperation anxiety thing. Who knows, you may want to give it a try.


Tried it. Bea had gone two days without napping so I thought, OK let's try putting them together. I gave it a week. What happened was either they stayed up and partied, or Bea fell asleep, which upset Ainsley, and then she would cry and scream to get Bea to wake up. So, I do think that Ainsley wants the company, but it wasn't fair to Bea. Once we went back to separating them, Bea resumed her regular 2 hr naps.

 

All I can suggest is sticking with it and letting her cry for up to an hour so at least you get your break. Hopefully she will realize that if she doesnt want to nap she will at least have quiet time during the day. I know you need a break.

 

THis may sound silly but if one of my girls isn't napping like they should be I go in there and "fuss" at them. In a stern voice I tell them it is night night and to lay down. I then walk out. They might fuss for another minute or two but more often than not they just go to sleep.

Goodluck!

Reagan

 

quote:
Originally posted by morgan:
I know you said you tried having nap time later, but have you tried making nap time earlier? HSHHC recommends this approach and it might work.

good luck!


I haven't tried it, but I suppose it couldn't hurt. Anytime they started refusing naps, moving it a little later usually worked, but who knows?

 

I so feel your pain! I agree that making her stayin there for an hour is good for both of you, even if she does cry most of the time. Is she crabby at night? If so, try a REALLY early bedtime for a couple of weeks, and don't go to her until 6AM. When henry starts waking early and not napping well we go to 5:45 or 6 PM bedtimes for a week or so to help him catch up on sleep. I got the idea from HSHHC.

I have tried lying on the floor in his room and he will cry for 10 minutes and then go to sleep. I have also tried telling him in a stern voice that it is nap time and that I was not going to come back and get him until he takes a nap.

The only thing I know for sure is that it is probably a stagem as much as it sucks, and she will start napping again sometime. Just stay consistant. Good luck!

 

Thanks. I think I'll try keeping her in the crib for an hour, and then gradually increasing the time once she's got an hour down. Making her stay for the whole two hours is too much screaming and crying for both of us. Bedtime had been OK, except she had been waking at night occasionally. Tonight was bad for some reason, she cried for 30 min. I haven't tried the early bedtime yet because I hadn't really figured out the best way to do it with Bea. They sleep in the same room at night.

Anyway, I HOPE it is just a stage and it will be over soon!!

 

You mentioned that you put toys in her crib in hopes of keeping her quiet... did that work at all? Were they new toys - only things she could have in bed? My DS still takes two naps a day (at 22 months) and when he goes for a nap, I put DD in too. She usually does not sleep for the first nap, but reads and plays with toys. She can be pretty loud sometimes - usually she's talking to her stuffed animals, "reading" aloud, etc. But sometimes she yells for her brother. Thankfully, he's a sound sleeper and he sleeps right through it. Many months ago, we instituted a rule in our house that certain toys/books were for the crib only. They actually look forward to going up and seeing those things. DD calls out for some of them as a way to signal that it's naptime. While she doesn't sleep in the morning (usually), she goes down very easily in the afternoon. Though, she often wakes before DS and plays a bit more. If they go for a nap, I leave them for an hour no matter if they sleep or not. After an hour, if they are still making noise and playing, I bring them down. We try again after lunch. Some days they will be in bed for an hour before lunch and 2 hours after. DS often sleeps most of it, while DD will only sleep about half of the afternoon time. But, she seems rested and I think it gives her a chance to unwind even if she is not actually sleeping.

I hope you find a solution soon!

 

The toys sort of worked. She did stay quiet for 50 min, which is more than usual. I hadn't thought of making it special toys, I should grab some of the toys that are in the rotation box in the closet, she hasn't seen them in a while.

 

There is a great book called the non cry sleep solution. its worth a read

 

I would try putting her down earlier as someone said already. My daughter Sophia has problems if she gets too tired she gets more and more wound up. One of the books i read said overly tired children don't sleep better, they have a harder time once they move past the first tired window. Also in that book it says to start with responding to fussing at 5, 10, 15 minutes between each fuss then the next day start at 10 then at 15 and keep going just laying them back down and going.

Anyway, just one books advice.

 

I don't know what time you start your day, but I know if mine sleep past a certain time they won't nap. We went thru this phase not too long ago and I seperated them (1 in the guest room and one in their room for naptime) and started waking them up 30 min. or so earlier in the morning. It wasn't a big deal for us because they sleep pretty late in the mornings. If they don't wake real early you might want to try it.

 

I was lucky if I got a 45 minute nap out of Jamie and she would never nap in her crib. Sometimes I put her down in my room on the bed and somehow that comforted her and she would nap. Other times I would just darken the living room and get her snuggly blanket and pillow. I'd stroke her hair and rub her back until she fell asleep and then I'd let her sleep on the couch. Nicole would sleep anywhere and she was always ready for a nap, so I'd put her down first. Then I'd tell Jamie it was time for our snuggle. She would end up falling asleep at least 15 minutes after Nicole, and she would still wake first. She was never a big napper, but this was better than nothing. I remember how frustrating this was, good luck!


.

 

Is it possible that she is afraid of something? Could you switch her room with her sister? I know this sounds bad but have you tried giving her a bottle? I'm sure they dont even take one, but it's a shot, right. What about some toys for her to play with? Could she be teething molars or eye teeth? My girls had trouble sleeping during that time. Good luck with her, keep us posted as to results.

 

I don't think it's teething as this has been going on for over a month now. I really do think part of it is that she doesn't want to be alone. Like I've posted, I did try putting them back together, but then Bea didn't get any sleep either. I have thought about putting her in the other room, main adavantage that I need the baby monitor to hear from there, but I don't want to change too many things. I have tried letting her sleep in bed with me for a nap. In fact, I tried it again the other day and she ended up pulling my hair out (yes, ripping it out of my head!!) and punching me in the nose. So, I'm not doing that anymore.
I'll try toys tomorrow. Today I just wanted to get her to an hour of being in the crib. I think it has been so long since she has taken a proper nap, that she doesn't know how to do it anymore.

 

Have you tried putting her to sleep in a stroller? My friend puts her 2 year old son in a stroller, then pushes it back and forth in her living room until he falls asleep. If he starts to get up after 30 minutes, she pushes the stroller again and he falls back asleep for another hour. Since your daughter seems to like napping in the car, she might sleep better in the sitting position.

 

I have not seen your other posts, so this may not apply...however, if you are still trying to lay her down for 2 naps, I think it is possible this is happening because she is trying to drop one of her naps.

 

Things we had to do with our boys -

Shifting nap schedules - moved a couple of hours later in the day.

Sleeping on me - they always slept better "cuddling" so sometimes I'd have to resort to having one (or both) napping on the couch w/ me.

White noise - we have a white noise machine, but a fan or an air cleaner would work just as well.

Being in the room with them - they had this phase where they were just more comfortable knowing we were around. (and I was still pretty tired ) So I'd lay down on the futon in their room while they played in their cribs, and they'd go to sleep on their own.

Possible skipping naps - It's a touch earlier than when our guys did, but we hit this phase where they napped erratically, some days not napping at all... then sometime just before 3yrs, poof. No naps. Occasionally they'll sleep in the car, but that's about it.

Having "bad nappers" ourselves, I feel for you. Hang in there, and good luck!

--> Andy

 

CIO never worked at naptime for us. DH (SAHD) still holds both girls for their entire naps each day. I would go insane, but he likes naptime. I wish I had some good advice for you.