I need MEGA advice about naps STILL!

Hi Everyone,
Here I am again lamenting about the nap thing. I have 4 month old twins who still only take 20-30 min. naps, if that, in their cribs. I've let them cry, and they can easily fill an hour!!! I am looking for advice from people who have used other methods besides those outlined in HSHHC. And I also wanted to hear from those people who had a similar situation and that it got better....I so need to know there is hope....They are cranky by 4:30 PM everyday. Although they sleep well at night, I am hoping this doesn't get screwed up, as their naps become more and more sketchy... I know I may be obsessing here, but anyway...Naomi

 

Same situation here... except mine only napped in the swing or in my arms. Went "cold turkey" off the swings at 4 months and still held them ALOT to get them to sleep a couple hours until they were 6 months. Bad Habit? Maybe. But now at 10 months my girlies are the worlds most awesome nappers.... 2 two hour naps a day, they go down awake (just started that this week) and fall asleep and stay asleep on their own. I didnt even really try naps in the crib until 6 mnths when we did CIO to get them to sleep at night (i litterally went 3 wks without getting more than 20 min. of sleep at a streatch... something had to happen) they still didnt nap on a schedule. Then at 8 months I seperated them to different cribs and they got a little better, about an hour per nap three times a day. Present day, like I said perfect scheduled sleeping babies... IT WILL GET BETTER!! Hang in there momma! Mine really got better after their naps starts revolving around table food meals and snacks, never thought about that before but maybe that is what finally did the trick.??

 

Go and get the book 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old. It saved my life and got my boys on a great schedule early on with solid naps. It's a short book, has a website that helps and really works.

 

Our naps were a mess until about 6 months. They started sleeping through, and their naps fell into place!

 

How early were your twins? I'm just asking because it's normal for daytime sleep to be a mess until 12-16 weeks adjusted age. So even if they were only a little bit early, at 4 mo they may not be at the point where they start "getting it" yet. Crankiness around 4:30 is also very normal. It's only in the last couple months that the late afternoon has stopped being a "witching hour" for us.

Have you tried things like rebinking &/or soothing back to sleep if they wake up too early? At that age, that sometimes worked for us.

And how long are they awake before you put them down for naps? You might want to try catching them a little earlier - it can make all the difference in the world. At that age mine could only go 1-1.5 hrs awake at a time.

Also, please be very careful of the 12 Hrs/12 Wks book. It advises allowing young infants to eat only 4x/day, at strictly scheduled 4 hr intervals. Most adults need to eat or drink more than 4x per day - recommending that for babies under 3 mo is inhumane and dangerous. The American Academy of Pediatrics explicitly recommends against scheduling, and insists on feeding babies whenever they're hungry. Aside from any cruelty issues, there is simply no connection between scheduled feedings and sleep patterns (unless the babies' blood sugar drops so low from not getting enough to eat that they can't do anything BUT sleep...). Such uninformed advice should raise major red flags.

Anyway, at 4 mo adjusted our naps were still a bit patchy - I think things really fell into place around 5 mo. There is light at the end of the tunnel! I know it doesn't help much now, but it probably won't be long before they start taking longer naps on their own. It's mostly a matter of brain maturity. Hang in there! It really does get better! :hug99:

 

My girls take 3 naps a day. At that age, they slept 2 hours in the morning, 2 hours in the early afternoon and an hour late afternoon - (all times are approximate!) They are in bed by 7pm and sleep until 6:30-7am. I remember thinking that I should try to keep them up so they would sleep at night, but that didn't work. They were overtired. So they take an hour nap from about 5-6 and then the bedtime routine starts. It was only once I started the third nap did they consistenly sleep 11-12 hours a night.

I used to let them nap in their cradle swings, but I started putting them in their separate cribs in the nursery around 4 months. They never depended on the swings to sleep....they seemed to sleep the same amount regardless of where they were.

I loosely follow BabyWise because it was recommended to me by a friend who was a nurse, married to a doctor. My girls eat every 4 hours, so they only get 4 bottles a day (7, 11, 3, 6).....plus solids before bed (starting at 4 months) and now breakfast in the morning (starting at 6.5 months).

I will also say that I go with my Mommy Instinct first and foremost. If my girls are hungry at 3 hours, OF COURSE I feed them! I would never sit by and listen to my babies scream with hunger because some book told me that wasn't supposed to feed them before 4 hours.

Good luck....I'm sure others will have more - and better - advice!

 

I just wanted to say - we're in the same boat -- ours sleep EXACTLY 30 min at a strech -- about 2 weeks ago -- I started putting them down on their tummies -- which did great things for helping us get them down easily (a quick 2-4 min of rocking after I see sleepy signs -- and they go down drowsy - but awake -- it also helped with being able to sooth them back to sleep when they woke up (worked about half the time -- which was better then NONE before) -- I don't know if it is the soothing back to sleep that has helped -- or that they are just (almost) at 4 months adj -- but the last 4 days we've gotten longer morning naps (between 1- 1 1/2 hours) -- and today - we got both a longer morning nap out of both -- and a longer afternoon nap ( 2 HOURS!!!) out of Jack (without any waking). So I don't know if it was the soothing back to sleep (honestly - I only try for a minute or two == if their not going back - I don't try and keep them in their crib for a long time hoping they will) -- or if it was simply a matter of time - -but it seems to be getting better!

 

Naomi, I followed my own version of HSHHC when my babies were that little and I didn't let them cry. I did everything in my power to facilitate naps (signs of tiredness, putting them down before they got overtired, soothing routine, etc.). In the end, the things that worked were: putting them in different rooms, always giving them 15 minutes of wind-down time before a nap (i.e. just a bit of time under their mobiles in a dim room without me really talking to them), running in at the first peep and trying to rock/pat them through that first arousal, and TIME. With time and consistency, naps began to get longer. But it wasn't until about 8 or 9 months...I hope that doesn't depress you. Just try your best. I know we read/hear about these babies who take 2 or 3 LONG naps of 2 hours + each day...but most of us don't have those babies. Just try your best and know that your babies will get there if and when they're ready. I wish I could give you some magical solution. Try to be patient. If you have to do some stroller or car naps to keep your sanity a few times a week, just do it. I know this is hard to hear because we all keep saying to ourselves, "Life with twinfants will be better when...they sleep longer...or they eat less frequently...or they can entertain themselves. It's true, life does get easier as time goes by. But for every solution, a new issue comes up (my guys, for example, nap longer most days but getting them down is a horror show now...used to be the opposite problem). Anyway, my point is this: do your best with the situation you're in and pat yourself on the back for everything that IS going right.

 

I follow Babywise and it works for me....it's basically a 3 hour schedule - 1 hour to eat, 1 to play and 1 to sleep, and that's just repeated all day long. I stick to it as much as I can and it works well for us.

Edited to add: if the babies cry during their 1 hour of napping I usually let them just cry, unless they start to get really upset and hysterical. I'm a mean mom, I know, but it works for me, my babies cry when they are tired!

 

QUOTE
1 hour to eat, 1 to play and 1 to sleep


Wow, your babies can go 2 hrs awake that young? Mine have just started being happy staying awake 2+ hrs!

 

Thanks for all the advice!!!
The other concern I had was that fact that my boys stay at their in-laws in the mornings and then are with me in the afternoon. I know we have slightly different techniques--she does pat them when they start to stir, and can get at least an hour from them most mornings; whereas, I just soothe for 5-10 minutes and then leave the room. I was thinking that she was teaching a bad habit by addressing them during the naps and thereby not teaching them to return to sleep unassisted, but maybe I need to change MY ways. It seems some of you also go in and resoothe when they start to wake up. Naomi

 

You are NOT alone! Unfortunately I don't think we did anything to make it better, it just got better on its own. Once the girls started staying awake longer during the day (around 3ish months I think), they started cat-napping.. they would literally fall asleep on the floor where they were playing and take a quick nap. I would try to scoop them up and put them in their cribs, but the moment was over.

From 4-6 months when the girls were in daycare, we worked with the teachers to get them to take naps in the crib. Didn't work. They would be wide awake in the quiet crib room, but would fall asleep immediately in a bouncy in a room full of noisy 1-2 year olds.

After they stopped daycare at 6 months I decided we were going to "fix" this and have them nap in cribs. Ana has no problem with this, but she has always been easier about sleep (she sucks her thumb and self-sooths). Meara cries and fusses. Some days more than others, but usually at least a little when I initially lay her down for a nap. Interestingly neither fuss when we lay them down to go to bed at night.

I lay them both down awake, I shush a little, I pat a little (they both started sleeping on their tummies as soon as they could roll), we put on some soft music in the nursery, the humidifier acts as white noise, and then I leave the room. There might be some playing/fussing/whatever, but they do go to sleep. This all started happening between 6-8 months. Now at 10 months its the same routine and they take 2-3 naps per day that range from 1- 2 1/2 hours each.

I had to change my expectations of how they were going to fall asleep. I don't immediately fall asleep when my head hits the pillow and I kept reminding myself of this when I'd hear noise from the nursery. Of course if full-on crying was happening I'd go and shush and pat, not that I'm opposed to CIO, its just that that wouldn't work for Meara (she just gets herself worked up). But we have FIO ('fussed it out') and she now knows that when we lay her down in the crib to nap, she is going to nap.

GL! Life gets so much easier when they take predictable naps.

 

QUOTE
I was thinking that she was teaching a bad habit by addressing them during the naps and thereby not teaching them to return to sleep unassisted, but maybe I need to change MY ways.


When they're that young, I don't think that forming bad habits is much of an issue. IMO it's more important to help them get the sleep they need any way you can. If they're still napping such short intervals when they're older (and I don't think they will be, I think you'll see improvement before too long) then CIO might be more effective. It doesn't really work before the babies are good at self-soothing, and if their systems are just not mature enough to sleep long stretches, it won't work either.

Long story short, things will get better! And don't worry about habits. You'll know when they're ready to do with less help.