I need help!

My mom and my sister in-law watch the twins 3 days a week (alternating weeks) and then 1 day a week they go to a sitter and then 1 day a week I stay home with them. That being said setting a schedule has been difficult because I am sure we are all doing things different. Their feedings and naps are all mixed up! It is making me crazy and I am sure my help as well. I just read a post by someone else asking if you wake the one still sleeping when the other wakes up from naps and such. This has been the problem. It seems that when one is asleep the other is up and I think it is because we havent been waking the one that stays asleep. Should we be doing this? What if one only sleeps for a half hour and is waking too soon, does that mean the other should get less of a nap because the other didnt sleep long enough??? It cant continue like this or we will all go crazy. How do you deal with the short napper and waking the other so that they stay on the same schedule? We need breaks and the way things have been going that doesnt happen.
At this age should they still be taking a nap every hour and a half? It seems that is about the amount of time before they are tired again, but not always the case if they didnt sleep long enough. How long should their naps typically last?
See!!!! I told you I am screwing this up...it was so easy with one baby but this time around it all revolves around managing two, and I am just having a tough time with this.
Some other questions...I know I seem like an idiot but I need to know what others are doing right so I can get the hang of this twin thing! (I know by almost 5 months I should have figured this out!)
Should I still be waking them both at night when one wakes to eat? I dont really know if one or the other would sleep through a feeding because I just havent risked that chance that one will wake up to eat an hour after I fed the other.
What do you do all day to entertain them while they are awake during the day? Mine seem to need constant attention or entertainment and that is getting old. When will they start being more content while awake?
And lastly, (thanks if you made it this far with my crazy questions) if you have three kids how in the world do you get out and about with all of them? I need my life back!!!!

 

First, :hug99: You are NOT screwing anything up. This whole twin thing is a huge process of trial and error, and finding what works for you and doesn't.

As far as getting out, I was really scared at first to take all three of my girls out at once, but I figured out, I was stuck in the house until I did. So, I just decided we were going out, and we did. I think our first trip was to the mall just to walk around, and lasted less time than it took to get ready and get there, but we did it. It gets easier each time (ok, mainly each time) we go out.

As far as a schedule works, we fed ours and put them down for nap both at the same time. It took some doing to get them on the same sleeping and eating schedule, but, for us, it was worth it. It might also be easier for your help to have a more definite schedule. Our daycare kept them on basically the same schedule, and my girls (and their teachers) were a lot happier. But I've heard of people who do it others ways successfully, too. We sang songs, danced around, and did any number of crazy things to keep the sleepy twin up for a little bit.

:hug99: again.

 

Lesley, you are not screwing anything up Momma!! :hug99: :hug99: Raising twins isn't an easy task, and as long as they are being loved and fed, there is no screwing up.

My two didn't start getting into routine naps {at the same time} until they were about 4-5 months. At that time I made times that I would put them down for their naps. At 9, 12 and 3. I did wake them the other when one got up, mainly so that they'd go back down together. This took a couple of weeks for them to get used to, but it was worth it in the end. For the first few months it was crazy because one of them would be awake ALL DAY LONG. :wacko: I would definately talk to your sitters and see if you can set up times for naps and such so that things are more routine for both them and yourself.
They started being more content and entertaining themselves when they were about 5.5 months. That's when they started sitting up and were getting more into playing with toys, so I didn't have to be at their side entertaining them.
As for feeding through the night, I never woke the other baby. I noticed early on that my son was ready to sleep longer stretches of time then my dd, so I let him be. Give it a shot for a few nights and see what happens. Worst case, you don't like how it works and you can start waking the sleeping baby to eat.

Don't forget, we have all been there {or are there} and there are no such things as crazy questions. We are all here for you. :love0028:

 

I second that. You are not screwing things up. You just have a unique situation where you have a number of people that you have to co-ordinate with to determine routines for your kids. You can unilaterally make the decision to do something, but have to communicate it to the other caregivers. My two started determining their first nap at 3 months of age, the others after that were neither here nor there. From 3 months til 6 months we really didn't have much of a schedule either. And someone was ALWAYS up. We decided we'd had enough of that and started scheduling naps (9, 1). OMG! Can I say that I have some of my life back. I was where you are (minus the variety of caregivers). I strongly encourage you to start nap training them. It may take a bit (mine learned in a week), but yours are younger so it may be faster. But it is definitely WORTH IT!! GL in what you choose. Just remember, we're all here for you. Oh, and don't be a slave to your house, just do it and get out. I don't have 3, but I've never been a home body, so it drives me crazy if we don't get out for a bit every day!!

 

You're ahead of me, but I have ALWAYS lived to regret it when one wakes up at night and we don't wake up the other.

On the naps, mine don't want to take them, and then they get overtired and miserable, so I'm looking forward to your responses. Usually, if one won't nap or takes a short nap, we just remove them from the room and try to entertain them until it is time to get the other one up to eat. I just hope that it will all even out and the non-napper will nap next time, but it doesn't seem to be working. Mine are pretty great at night, but we are a mess with naps.

 

So, not to hijack the original post, but if mine aren't napping, would you wise twin moms just put them down for naps at 9:00 and 1:00 and try to get them to sleep? What if they don't sleep? Do they get to stay up? Do they CIO? When we try naps, we are spending an hour trying to get them to sleep!

 

I always did naps based on awake time so if one slept longer than their nap was later than the other. I couldn't bear waking one up if they were still tired. Just know that every family and every child is different. I have one tired bunny and one energizer bunny and I wasn't going to wake tired bunny up for my freakishly awake other son. I also didn't wake one up to feed if the other has woken up. What became clear quickly is that tired bunny could sleep much longer without feeding so I was only responsible to feed one for much of the night. It might have also been different because I am single and dealing with one awake baby by myself was sooo much easier than dealing with two in the middle of the night.

I really understand your reticence to experiment but if you try not waking one during the night, or waking one up or whatever, if it doesn't work, you don't have to do it again the next day.

I'm still struggling to understand my guys' needs and they are one (tomorrow). My sister has 6 year old twins and she is also trying to figure out how to balance needs. For instance, if one is sick, both of them stay home from school. That works for her family. It might not be what I do for mine. We are all different.

Breath deep and cut yourself some slack. there is a serious learning curve with all of this.