I need help

I never post here because i have a singleton after twins. But I have to confess that my daughter has never slept one night in her crib. She does take short naps in there daily. Well I have decided that I need to do something about her sleeping before she gets to big. I have been letting her cry for up to 5 minutes in there for about a week but then I take her out. Tonight I am letting her cry 10 at a time then going in and reswaddling and giving a bit of comfort. She always falls asleep at the breast tonight she did then woke up. I feel so bad this is hard. I would love to continue sleeping with her but I dont think it is healthy for her to have no bedtime or scheldule. I need support. What should I do? I feel bad for waiting till she was 8 months to do this.

 

I never post here because i have a singleton after twins. But I have to confess that my daughter has never slept one night in her crib. She does take short naps in there daily. Well I have decided that I need to do something about her sleeping before she gets to big. I have been letting her cry for up to 5 minutes in there for about a week but then I take her out. Tonight I am letting her cry 10 at a time then going in and reswaddling and giving a bit of comfort. She always falls asleep at the breast tonight she did then woke up. I feel so bad this is hard. I would love to continue sleeping with her but I dont think it is healthy for her to have no bedtime or scheldule. I need support. What should I do? I feel bad for waiting till she was 8 months to do this.

 

Lori, I think unfortuantely you may have to keep at the CIO for a while longer. I think its good to keep trying 5, 10, 15 minute intervals. Are you bfing her til she sleeps? Maybe you can cut that habit out by stopping before she is asleep and then putting her in her crib. Does she fall asleep and then when you put her in the crib she wakes up? Cauz if she doesn't that might be a good idea to try that for a while til you get to her to just sleep in there. Does she use a paci? Maybe that would help too.

 

Thanks for the response, No she does not take a paci, yer she falls asleep at the breats then she will sleep in the crib for around 30-40 minutes. I felt bad and got her after an hour. I think I will try again Monday. I feel so bad and like I am betraying her.

 

I know it feels that way and its hard to hear them cry for you, but at some point she does need to learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on her own. She is still very young too so it may take a while. Also if you are not very comfortable with CIO than I wouldn't do it. I mean its important that you are ok with it. If you don't want her to feel like she is being abandoned, I would follow my instincts and let her be with me longer. But what do I know? My 4 year old still sleeps with us, 3 out of 7 days a week! Opps.

 

Hi Lori!! Good to see you over here again!!

I would figure out a way to get her in there now vs. after 12 mos. It will be MUCH harder if you wait (JMO)..... I would keep doing what you are doing. Don't go to her right away and let the time get longer and longer and eventually she'll get it.

Whether you soothe after a set # of visits or CIO you have to be consistent. So pick a method and follow through.

Maybe she would be ok if you were in there and she could hear you breathing and smell you.... maybe you can lay in there on the floor for a little while then sneak out? Just a thought....

Good luck!

 

I agree that she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. My son was like that and had to be rocked to sleep every night. I was so afraid that I would be teaching his wife to rock him that I decided he needed to learn. I chose to stay with him and rub his back and a lot of "shh"ing. Some times I would count to 500 while in there. I read somewhere that it takes about 10 minutes for them to fall in a deep sleep. I remember how horrible it was to be walking (sneaking) out of the nursery and he would start crying when I thought he was asleep. I would only pick him up if he couldn't calm himself down. Eventually, I would just stand at the doorway with an occasional "shh". It took about 2 weeks for him to learn the skill of sleeping on his own. Once he did it made a world of difference!
It may be a bit harder for you as you are transitioning from sleeping with you. I would be patient and give her time to adjust.
I had to do CIO with my DD. I had such a hard time letting her cry. I would go outside on the deck and still hear her. One day I just let her go for about 10-15 minutes (felt like hours) and magically she fell asleep. A few more 5 minute sessions and she sleeps wonderfully through the night.
Whatever you decide to do, know that it may take some work and be a bit mentally draining but so worth it in the end.