I love my girls but...

OK, let me start by saying that I adore my girls more than anything in this world and the last thing I want to do is wish away their childhood, but when does this get better? Right now, I feel like all I do is diapers, bottles, baths and repeat. We're going to the doctor nearly 2 times a week for one or both of them. They are on a semi-different schedule that happens to coincide from time to time as far as eating goes. My little Aurora is still only 6lbs so we are not forcing a schedule for her just yet so we don't stress her and restrict her weight gain. I am trying very hard to keep Bettye Katheryne awake whenever Aurora is awake to get them on a similar sleeping schedule, but she's going through a growth spurt and wants to sleep a lot (with the exception of a random 3-4 hour stretch at night).

I just need to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and when will they become more interactive? My girls don't even acknowledge one another right now with the exception of the occational stray swing of the arm the punch the other one (not intentionally of course) when we lay them together on their play mat.

 

:hug: Hang in there, it does get better! Mine started to get more interactive between 3-4 months. I see from your ticker, yours were born at 33 weeks, so you may have to adjust for that as well.
You are doing great job Momma!

 

Hmmm ... this is a hard one. It's so tough at the beginning, isn't it? Life is like that movie Groundhog Day ... and you just live the same thing OVER and OVER again ... for me, life changed when they started STTN. That happened at about 4 months for us. Once they kind of set their own schedule, I notice more awake time, and just more fun time.

As for noticing either other, for us, that took a really long time ... I don't think it was closer till like 6 or 7 months that they really started interacting with each other. They noticed each other slightly earlier ... but really, that took a while.

Now I wish they would ignore each other again, seems all they do is steal stuff from each other and fight!

Hang in there mom! It's tough at the beginning, but slowly you will start getting payback for all your work ... in the form of lots of smiles, giggles, etc. It WILL get better ...

 

:hug: My two aren't STTN yet (or even in their crib yet for that matter ) BUT this last week they've really turned a corner in behavior! They will be 14 weeks on Wedn. (11 weeks adjusted). They are very social. They are awake more and are starting to (finally!) stretch their feeding times out a bit. They are talking, smiling, starting to play with toys (that's fun!) and the best part starting to notice and play with each other!!! That means they are able to entertain each other a little longer so I can get some things done. They are starting to talk and smile at each other which is super cute. I'm praying sleep improvements are coming soon. Just wanted to let you know that it does come!! Slowly but surely. I still feel like I'm in survival mode but I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. We're still totally feeding on demand. Trying to work on more of a routine/schedule but I feel like they're just not ready yet. Close but not yet. You'll get there. You're doing great and everyone here who has their babies in cribs I :bow2: !!! I'm weak and love sleep too much. So if you've got that you're way ahead of me.

 

For us, around 4 months they started to become more interactive. You are definitely in the thick of the toughest part right now but I can tell you that I've been there and it DOES get easier!! Our girls started interacting more with each other around 4-5months, I can remember thinking in the early days that it seemed like they would look everywhere BUT at each other. Hang in there!!!!

 

I completely agree with PP about the Groundhog Day thing. I remember saying that to a few friends of mine [and posting it as a mood thing on my myspace page, lol]. But the reality is.. it Does get better. It just feels like time goes by sooo slow as the weeks progress. Just remember it IS progress.

Around 4 months is when my girls started to do more and interact with each other. They were rolling and holding things. and were finally able to entertain themselves a little and it wasn't just ME changing 'stations' every ten minutes when they'd get bored.

It definitely helps when they STTN. It gives you much more energy and patience to conqure the day! At least it did for me ^_^ Hang in there, mama. You're doing great and it WILL get better for you!

:hug:

 

there is a bright spotlight at the end of the tunnel and you will see it soon, i promise. for me things got a lot more fun when they started smiling at me, i totally forgot how tired i was each time they graced me with a little gummy grin. now they love looking at each other, holding hands, and giggling at each other; of course they still whack each other in the head and kick each other all the time, but it does seem more intentional now. DS loves to pat DD on the head, it is the cutest thing, he is probably jealous of how much hair she has...

when you are able to move their schedules together things will get better too, it is really hard to be constantly feeding babies with no breaks to catch your breath and have a moment to yourself. you will make it, keep up the good work!

 

We're at 3 1/2 months so just a bit further along than you. I can honestly say it does get better around the 3+ month mark. My two were born at 34 wks. They are smiling and starting to coo and do the 'body wiggles' when they get excited. It is so rewarding having them finally acknowledge us!

The Groundhog day is totally true in the beginning!

Hang in there.

 

I still clearly remember thinking the same things you are, and I can't believe that I'm able to say that it DOES get better. I noticed a big change around 3 months in terms of interacting, and even more at 6 months. Just take things hour by hour--no need to force schedules, etc...just go with the flow as much as possible, and things will fall into place. I know it's hard to believe, but it will...hang in there!

 

For my 33 weekers it was around the end of the 3rd month (actual age). They began having funny facial expressions and would happily lay on the floor while I read them a book. The diaper/feed/nap routine gets old, but then becomes such a normal part of life. Even now, I feel like that's all I do since they play so well together. Hang in there! You're almost to a wonderful stage!

 

I'd be hesitant to say it "gets better". It changes and each stage presents new challenges. Sure it's easier when they can go longer between feedings. But then they start crawling off in opposite directions. Sure it's easier when they can walk on their own--but then they run off in opposite directions and you long for the days when you could just strap them into the bouncy seat. Sure it's easier when you leave diaperbags behind, but then you have to take then to the bathroom every 15 minutes! I remember our first trip to the fair, we were there for 2 hours and I went to the the bathroom with one or both 8 times! I longed for the days of diapers. Sure it's easier not to have to make and take special food everywhere you go, but then they suddenly become picky and slow eaters. Say they are full then 10 minutes after you've cleaned away dinner want to eat again! Sure it's easier when they can dress themselves, but then they try to assert themselves and decide not to do so.
Every stage is different. Easier in some respects, harder in others. Also everymother is different and handles each stage differently.

 

It does and WILL get better, as the others attest too...I PROMISE! Two months is REALLY hard! Those early days were VERY challenging! I know each new stage presentds it's own set of challenges, but when they smile and laugh (that true, from the belly baby giggle that is like nothing else)...you will fall in love over and over again! I have more and more fun everyday with my twinkies. Sure it's exhausting still and there are moments when I wonder, "How am I going to make it through the day" but it's the most AMAZING thing in the world! Hang in there!

 

I agree with everyone who's posted so far. You are so in the thick of it right now and survival mode/assembly line parenting is what it boils down to. I remember my boys started to kind of come out of their "baby coma" around 3 months- so they became more interactive and responsive. They didn't get on any kind of schedule until about 5 months and they didn't sttn til 8 months (because we did CIO.) I remember those days like they were yesterday. I couldn't wait for these other milestones to happen (sttn, holding their own bottles, etc) but what I found is each change or challenge is replaced with another one. But each new change is so much fun. Good luck- you're doing great!!

 

I was wondering this yesterday after we had a really bad day. Our dog is sick, so Max & Lily were whining and crying all day because they were feeding off of him. By the end of the night my nerves were shot.

They sttn, eat on a pretty regular schedule, and nap twice a day still, but we feel like we are constantly feeding, changing diapers making bottles, doing laundry, etc. and we are at 9 months old. I keep telling DH hopefully by one year it will get better.

I laugh when I remember our discusion & decision on ttc about 3 years ago and that our lives seemed so empty and almost boring. Definately not empty anymore and no time for boredom. It has to get better at some point, I just know it.

 

Yep, totally agree with most of the pp's. Yours are doing what is developmentally appropriate for their adjusted age. It's really just eat, sleep, poop right now. They will become more interactive. For mine they kind of woke up around 3 months actual for a bit more time during the day. At night was a totally different story. I think their prematurity plays a huge factor in this.

Mine did not really notice each other until they really started sitting up around 7 months or so. Hang in there. They will eventually steal each others toys :lol:

 

PP's are so right. You are in the middle of the thick of it. My girls were born at 34 weeks. At 4 months they started sleeping longer stretches (5-6hrs at a time) and interacting more, playing with toys. But at 6 months things REALLY started getting easier. Bottles 4 hours apart with 3 solid meals of solids. Sleeping 10-12 solid hours at night and two regular daytime naps. Piece of cake! Until they get mobile! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, give it one more month.

 

QUOTE(Meximeli @ Mar 2 2009, 08:36 AM) [snapback]1211160[/snapback]
I'd be hesitant to say it "gets better". It changes and each stage presents new challenges. Sure it's easier when they can go longer between feedings. But then they start crawling off in opposite directions. Sure it's easier when they can walk on their own--but then they run off in opposite directions and you long for the days when you could just strap them into the bouncy seat. Sure it's easier when you leave diaperbags behind, but then you have to take then to the bathroom every 15 minutes! I remember our first trip to the fair, we were there for 2 hours and I went to the the bathroom with one or both 8 times! I longed for the days of diapers. Sure it's easier not to have to make and take special food everywhere you go, but then they suddenly become picky and slow eaters. Say they are full then 10 minutes after you've cleaned away dinner want to eat again! Sure it's easier when they can dress themselves, but then they try to assert themselves and decide not to do so.
Every stage is different. Easier in some respects, harder in others. Also everymother is different and handles each stage differently.


It gets different...Melissa is right, but one thing that makes a huge difference is that when you are getting more sleep you are more equipped to deal with everything else. I firmly believe that. Also, when your life doesn't revolve around their bottles, it's freeing.

Also, while i sometimes long for the days of confined infants, overall stuff is much less labor intensive. Our 2 year olds feed themselves and can help out with little tasks...but it's still draining at times.

I'm really enjoying 2 right now...we can do stuff with them, they understand and have a sense of their day/schedule.

You will survive :hug:

 

Great big hugs to you!
Ours arent' that much older they are 15wks...

I remember one Saturday, DH and I looked at each other and out of the blue took a deep breath and let it out...
We realized at that moment we were out of the thick of it, and it was EXACTLY on their 3mth birthday!

I couldn't imagine it would get better as others were telling me it would...but boy has it ever gotten better! I think it's because we found our own groove!

We've all gotten to know each other!
I think I survived by pure denial....dh kept saying how hard it was those first 3mths, and I kept saying, nah it's great! Once I was able to left my head out of the water, I am now able to look back and say....WOW! that was brutal!

I will say what everyone else is saying...IT DOES GET BETTER...I mean make your heart, hurt better! I am more in love with our boys now than when they were first born!

Hang in there sweetie, you are doing an amazing job!!!

reb

 

Mine were born at 33wks 4 days. Just when you don't think it could get any worse it does!! Mine are sleeping from 10pm to 5am now! They started smiling last week and I am loving it. They still don't interact much with each other and aren't quit into toys yet but love looking around. It helps me out most to keep them on a strict schedule and we have since they came home. At the age yours are eat we feed every 3 hours on the dot. If one was asleep and one was awake we would wake the sleeping baby. Or if both were sleeping we woke them both up. It helps tremendously to have them on the same schedule! Even now at 13 wks. during the day we feed every 3 hours on the clock. They take their last bottle at 9 pm and down for bed at 10pm. I am solo so I prop one in the boppy pillow and when it is time to burp I switch them out. I promise it will get easier!! I was the same way, feeling like all I did was change diapers, feed, bath, change clothes etc. Once they start sleeping more and you can get more restful sleep you will feel better! Your doing a great job!

 

Oh, we've all been there. I could have written the same exact post in the beginning and probably did. We all promise it does get better. The beginning is so hard. Once they start smiling at you and at eachother, it will make all this time so worth it. I promise. I would say once we hit the 3/4 month mark, life got much easier. Then, 6 months and now 9 months. I always feel like I'm wishing away their childhood thinking about the future. I always say, I can't wait until they are older and we can do this and that, but I don't mean it. I love them as babies and want to enjoy every minute of it. Once they get on more of a schedule, you'll find you can breathe a bit easier. You'll have time to sit down and get on Twinstuff more Hang in there. It's right around the corner.

 

I did write the same post so I completely understand where you are coming from. The beginning is so tough. It did get easier at 4.5 months when they STTN 12 hours as it meant I could relax in the evenings and disconnect a little. However, DD was hard work from 6 weeks - 6 months as she just cried her way through the days, it was so hard. I felt so many emotions on so many levels and felt guilty for having them. DS got easier around 5 months. Overall, I´d say 6 months was the best for me and it just keeps getting better but with newly-added challenges on the way! I also find myself wishing away their childhood, like Christie says, but I dont mean too. All your hard efforts will soon turn around and be smiling and cooing at you and your heart will just melt. Hang in there momma, you´re doing a great job!