I lost my baby

I know everyone has asked for updates,since i wrote a few weeks ago that i was worried that one of my twins was smaller, and i was worried about the vanishing twins syndrome. Everyone's words and positive remarks truly helped me to make it to my next sono where they told me it was a "healthy twin pregnancy" with two strong heartbeats. I went yesterday for my 9th week sonogram,and they told me Baby B has no heartbeat. My husband and i are just so, so sad I just feel like... why? I had no bleeding or cramping, and the baby is just still inside of me, which is such a horrible feeling.Im scared and i am worried, and now i will be worried through the entire preganancy with baby A. I have always exercised was always very healthy and active, it is just horrible. They tell me im still blessed with one baby who still has a very healthy strong heartbeat, but i dont feel that way at all. Im not excited anymore, I just feel as if this took away from everything for us. I am sorry for the long post.We both just feel so lost.

 

{{{hug}}} I am sorry. Do not feel bad for grieving. It is a natural reaction. I know in time you will be happy for the one you still have. In the mean time, it really is okay to grieve for the one you lost.

 

I am so sorry about your baby Your loss is very very real and while you are still blessed with a healthy baby, it doesn't change the heartache of losing your other. I am sure that they are trying to be supportive of you, but I understand how much comments like that can sting and I'm sorry you have to face them.

I have always felt that losing a multiple is such an incredibly unique loss...you're left finding a way to grieve one precious life and celebrate another -- all in the same breath and thought. It is scary, you're right, and it changes the way you see the rest of your pregnancy, you're right. I'm sorry about that, too.

 

No advice just lots of sympathy. This has to be a very hard time for you. I'm glad your husband is supportive. Maybe some alone time for the two of you would help?

Merijo

 

Sorrry for your loss

 

I'm so sorry!

Time's probably the only thing that will help. Don't feel bad that you're not really excited about the healthy one, yet. That will come in time. I'm thinking about you and wishing the best for you, your husband and your baby.

If it helps - I watched a show on multiples and apparently they say that about 1 in 9 people were twins at some point and the Mom's never even know. We just know sooner now so it's much more sad. not that that helps - but something to keep in mind. Sometimes science doesn't help as much as we'd like it to.

 

I am soo sorry for your loss.

Not sure if you know but we do have a Parental Grief forum here at Twinstuff. You can find it here, you will find a great amount of friendship, support and understanding in PG. They are there whenever you are ready!

 

s, I am so sorry.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what a difficult time this is for you and wanted to second the advice to check out the grief forums. The message boards were very helpful to me when I had my miscarriage and it helps a lot to talk with people who are going through the same thing at the same time.

--Krista

 

I am so sorry

its ok and its normal to grieve over the loss of your baby. Alot of the moms in the parental grief who have lost of of their twins felt the same sadness you are going through right now.

Unfortunatly you will hear a lot of bad comments, people will try to act as though you shouldnt be upset but in all honestly a baby is a baby is a baby. No matter when you lose a baby, you still go through the emotions as you are now. You will probably hear many times that you should be happy because you still have the other, but we loss moms, know that isnt how it is. One baby doesnt replace another. Unfortunaly alot of loss moms hear that comment over and over...I know Ive heard it alot

 

No one expects you to be happy right now, so do not compound your grief by feeling guilty you're not happier to have one. It's ok to just feel sad. There is a lot to grieve, and I hope you find comfort with friends and family. We're all thinking of you.

Reyna

 

I am so terribly sorry for your loss

 

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I lost a triplet earlier in this pregnancy, and was very surprised at how hard it hit me....especially since I was ambivalent about having triplets in the first place. But, I grieved for that baby as much as I would have had it been a twin or singleton...a loss is hard no matter what the other circumstances.

Sending you huge hugs. Please be kind to yourself, and take the time you need to grieve...

 

I am so sorry to hear of your m/c. I know I would feel the same as you. The loss is going to be hard on you. I think it is totally normal for you to grieve, so take the time. I hope your Baby A is doing well though and will continue to thrieve.

We are here for you if you want to vent.

 

My heart is breaking for you! Some other posters are right. People often say things that don't help at all, usually because they are ignorant and just don't understand. Take time to grieve for your little one. It's totally normal to have many mixed emotions right now. Please keep us updated on the rest of your pregnancy.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. This happened to me with my last pg. I lost one of my twins around 9 weeks also. I never had any cramping or bleeding either. The rest of my pg with the other twin went fine and I have a healthy 2 1/2 year old. It is such a strange position to be in that most people can't understand - you're sad for the loss of one baby, but so grateful and excited the other baby is o.k.

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have lost 4 babies at 8 weeks and I know the pain that you are feeling. I know it is very hard to deal with and you feel very lost. It just takes time and as the days pass you will never forget your little angel, but when you go to the doctor and hear your little ones hb it will help ease your pain. Sending a big hug for you and your loved ones that are grieving with you. I will be praying for you and your continued pregnancy.



Stephanie

 

I am so very sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve and heal. Don't listen to anyone that tells you to be happy that Baby A is doing well. You need to grieve for your angel baby.

I lost a baby at 9 weeks in September. That pain it still with me. It hit me much harder than I thought it would. If you need to talk, please pm me.

Take care.

 

I am SO SORRY!!!



It is understandable that you are so sad and unable to focus on your other baby right now. Don't beat yourself up over that. You have had a loss and need to deal with that. I am so sorry!

 

I am so sorry for your loss!

 

I am so, so sorry for your loss. No loss is ever easy. Give yourself time to heal and take care of yourself for your sake and and your baby's sake too.

 

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your twin. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

April

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had 2 miscarriages before I had my twins. The first, I'd already heard the heartbeat at 10 weeks. At my next regular appt, there was no heartbeat with the doppler. And when they sent me for an u/s, there was no heartbeat and the baby measured two weeks small. I didn't actually miscarry until 3 days later. It was the longest 3 days of my life. And I've never wept as much as I did during that month. I lost another baby a few months later and then a few months after that, I got pregnant with my girlies. Their pregnancy was so much different for me, from my three oldest children. Not just because it was twins. I was scared. I had a much harder time enjoying the little things because I was so worried that something would go wrong. And yet it was exciting at the same time. I didn't go through exactly what you are, but I know that loss takes time to heal. Grieve, it's ok and healthy to cry. I pray you'll be able to find some peace and be able to find joys in your pregnancy and birth of your sweet baby!

 

So sorry for your loss.

 

So Sorry

 

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you.

 

I wish there was something someone could do to ease your pain. I just want you to know I am thinking of you. Sorry for your loss.

 

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss!

 

I'm so sorry for you!
Give yourselves some time to mourn the loss of your baby before you try to feel happy about the one that survived! All the best!

 

Bless your heart. I am so very sorry

, Heather

 

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I went through the same thing a year ago. I was pg w/twins; we found out at 5w2d. 3 weeks later, one of them passed away. Anthony, the surviving twin, was born at 38 weeks on Oct. 4th. I know it's hard. My grief was recently rehashed bc a friend found out last wk she's pg w/twins. I greived hard last yr. for a few weeks, but things got so busy, I didn't have time to think anymore. If you want to talk, let me know. I hope you can find peace.