I know this won't apply to you ladies

Okay summer vacation has just begun and I'm lost. Last year when the twins were so tiny, my daughter had workshops she had to attend almost everyday of the summer so I still had the boys. This year she is far along in her pregnancy so her principal didn't sign her up for workshops. School has only been out for a week and I am totally and completely lost. I worked for 35 years so I am at odds as to what to do with all this TIME. It's 8:30 a.m. I have already done my laundry, made the bed, washed the dishes, vacumned, swept, mopped and dusted and cleaned the bathrooms. I have weeded the flower beds, watered the plants, harvested the tomatoes and cucumbers, brought in the trash can, taken the papers to the recycling center, gotten dinner started for tonight and I'm sitting here waiting for my daughter to get ready to go to the grocery store so I can go and get the boys. I'm not a big shopper. I don't watch TV during the day. I've already ridden my bike this morning and I'm sitting here in a quiet house with nothing to do. My daughter cleaned her house this weekend so there's nothing I can go and do for her over there. I've already washed and dried my uncles clothes and taken those to him and my husband won't be home until 4. I am just not used to being inactive or having something to do. I need a project. I guess I am one of the gray haired over 50 ADHD people in this world, but I need to be occupied. I'm just not equipped for not being busy. The twins keep me hopping during the school year. I just wasn't ready for summer to begin and to have to give them up. I already miss them so much and they are just next door. I don't want to be a nuisance and go over there all the time. I want my daughter to be able to enjoy her summer, but I want those BOYS and I need them NOW. Summer was like cutting off my right arm and not having those precious boys with me everyday. Okay I'm feeling really sorry for myself. I had no idea I would miss them so much so soon.

 

Dude, where are you? Feel free to come to my house and entertain my kids! LOL!

 

She doesn't want to have some help during the summer? You can come to my house! I'll put you up and you can pretend mine are your grandbabies!! You sound SO highly organized!!! :bow2:

Maybe you could take up scrappin' or something? When is she due? You will get VERY busy at that point for sure, right?!

Hang in there :hug99:

 

OMG i want you to come to my house. NOW! You can clean and entertain the twins while i go to work. I know not the same you want your twinbabies. What a special person you are. Hang in there and i bet that it will get easier... Ever thought about scrapbooking? It is fun and time consuming!

 

Oh can you PLEASE come to my house too

In all seriousness, can you volunteer at an outreach office or your local library (reading to the little ones)? Or plant a vegetable garden (the boys could 'help' when you watch them)? I'm sure life will get busy once the new baby comes, but until then you could squeeze in a road trip to all the TS momma's would love for you to come play with our babies

 

WOW!!! You are AMAZING!!!! I am sure any twin mom would love to have you visit for a day

When the new baby comes, I think that you are going to be a very busy grandma!

 

Add me to the list of people to have you come to my house!

What about a class at the local community college? Something you've always wanted to learn?

Or if you don't have any place local, an online class?

Sorry you're missing your boys so much!

 

QUOTE(Becca34 @ Jun 3 2008, 10:06 AM) [snapback]807210[/snapback]
Dude, where are you? Feel free to come to my house and entertain my kids! LOL!


me too!! haha do you fancy a trip up to Canada?

I was going to also suggest a class at a local college.

 

Come to my house!!! We will play tug a war with you..

I wish i could get all that done before 830 am!!!

 

Have you talked to your daughter about wanting to help out without being a nuisance? She might be sitting in her house wishing you would take the boys but not wanting to call...

Perhaps you could offer to take the boys a few days a week for 1/2 a day and schedule it in advance so your daughter can plan for time alone to rest or run errands? I also agree with everyone else that there are tons of places (like a library, or maybe even your local hospital) who would love to have a capable and committed volunteer. I know that the NICU near me is always in need of people to rock babies...

Good luck, and oh how jealous I am of your free time.

 

New Jersey is LOVELY! You should come stop by my place ... I can think of a few things to keep you busy!

 

QUOTE(Becca34 @ Jun 3 2008, 06:06 AM) [snapback]807210[/snapback]
Dude, where are you? Feel free to come to my house and entertain my kids! LOL!

I was thinking the same thing! Oregon has beautiful summers with little to no humidity! Come on down!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have 4 kids with varying intrerests, something for every mood!

 

How about the south?? I need you down here!!!

it is nearly 12:00pm and I am still in my pj's!!!! and so are the girls!!! hey, you will never be bored again!

I wish my kids had a grandmother that was able to be fun!!

 

You can go on a cross country trip and visit us all! I would love to have some help! Maybe your daughter can give you the kids a couple times a week?

 

A summer vacation in Mexico perhaps?
My daughters need an English speaking grandma figure around!

 

Oh wow, can I borrow you? Do you scrapbook? Maybe start that up and make books for the boys and your daughter?

 

You can come to my house to I have no where near as much energy as you have! I need to find it soon cause DD1 will be out of school in about 3 weeks.

 

• Volunteer -- there are more nonprofits around than you could ever imagine, just wishing and waiting for volunteers to come help them. Check out senior citizen centers, VA center, homeless shelters, Salvation Army/Goodwill, blood bank, environmental groups, political campaigns, children's centers, hospitals, libraries, churches, etc
• College class or community class -- many towns and stores offer classes on just about anything you'd ever want to learn. Our town offers adult recreation classes on painting, photography, gardening, as well as tennis classes, softball leagues, etc for only a small fee. Contact your local rec center for info. Our art store has classes on scrapbooking, flower arranging; the kitchen store has cooking classes covering a wide range of ethnic and local foods, from beginner to advanced.
• Create a scrapbook
• Organize your photos, paper files, recipes, basement, etc
• Write personal memories to pass down to your kids and grandkids
• Redecorate the house
• Get a part-time job (petsitter, nanny, barista, office assistant, whatever)
• Read a book
• Write a book or magazine article
• Join a community theatre or choral group
• Create a website/blog/podcast or teach a class at your local rec center -- sounds like you are a wealth of info on organization, time management, and household management -- share that expertise with the world!
• Create crafts to share with your grandkids
• Get involved in local government
• Join a club
• Reach out to old friends. Set a weekly date to get together for coffee with new/current/old friends.
• Take up a new hobby like knitting
• Learn carpentry or some other skill
• Go on litter patrol in your neighborhood, beach, park, wherever
• Travel
• Take a yoga/aerobics/kickboxing class
• Find a local person who needs help -- whether they're disabled or just plain busy with too many obligations, there is bound to be someone in your neighborhood who could use help getting groceries, walking their dog, cooking a meal, or whatever.

Can you tell that I spend a lot of time dreaming up things that I'd like to be doing rather than working in an office 10 hours/day (not including the commute)?

I second the PP that you should offer to watch the twins some over the summer. Being pregnant with toddler twins during the hot summer really can't be fun for your daughter. I bet she would like an occasional break.

I hope that you find something to do soon that gives some direction to your day. I'll live vicariously through you.

 

Waaaait a minute. If I remember correctly you're in Houston aren't you? PLEASE COME OVER HERE! We can hang out every day! No cleaning...just come eat with me and entertain one of the boys while I try to stuff my fave in record time. Or come with me to Gymboree when I have no one else to call! What a lucky daughter you have. And seriously, all that BEFORE 8:30! CRAZY! Here are the things I would do if I were you.

Volunteer as a NICU "baby snuggler" (Texas Children's if you really are in Houston)
Digital Scrapbooking...it's addictive as well as extrememly time consuming
Take a class through Leisure Learning or community college (ballroom dancing, photography, pottery)
Work part time at a small children's boutique (they usually close early) like A Woman's Work
Be my fill-in mom

 

oh i thought of the same thing....where are you????? i definately could use you here. i need a garden, house needs cleaning, laundry needs to be done. i need to organize everything. i could definately use you to help out LOL. my mom passed 3 years ago and i have a MIL that lives downstairs. she doesn't even come upstairs to spend time with them. maybe once a week she will for most is half hour. i would love for her to offer to help out and give me some mommy time.
i am sure if you ask your daughter if you can take them a couple times a week because you miss them and loved spending time with them she would agree. it would give her time to relax and get things done. even if you went to her house.

as PP (chickabee)said those are great ideas for you to do. wow really all that by 8:30 am. what time did u wake up? i could use some of that energy LOL

 

Would you like a summer holiday in Israel - it's really very safe where we're at and right by the sea (although at 105 already, a tad hot!)?!

In addition to the other sensible suggestions from pp, I wanted to add that I felt very much as you do when I first put my children into daycare and before I started working longer hours (a few months gap). The first few days were AWFUL. I missed them so very very much, I didn't know what to do with all the time etc.

And the feeling quickly faded, my life returned to 'normal' within a week or so.
Good luck

 

I think all the ideas are wonderful - but especially volunteering at a children's hospital - I've always wanted to be able to do that. You sound just like the kind of person that could really share your love with those sick babies.

 

Just a thought, but did you daughter TELL you she did not want/need you to come over???? If she is that far into her pregnancy I would think she could use the extra hands, the adult companionship what have you, and I do not know about her, but it does not matter that I just cleaned, if they are up my house is a mess. Personally, I would love it if my mom could just come hang out with us. But, that is me.

 

Thank you ladies - you do understand. First - no my daughter didn't tell me she didn't need me. I just get paranoid sometimes from reading how much mothers and mother in laws interfere. I'm comfortable with my daughter, but I'd hate to think my SIL goes around thinking I'm one of those pesky in laws or my daughter thinking I'm a pushy mother. She's far along in her pregnancy and she delivered the twins at 32 weeks and now with gestational diabetes she's having a different sort of complications so they told us to expect another premature delivery. She's seeing a specialist now. I typically kept the boys at my house - we set up a playroom and bedroom here for them, but towards the end of the school year they began sleeping later so I would go to my daughter's house. I kept up the laundry, dishes, did a little cleaning etc. while there when the boys were asleep in the morning and during naps and I know she appreciated it, but my SIL was thrilled because he didn't have to come home and help with housework. I keep the boys for grocery shopping, errands, etc. My problem was my own making and magnified in my own mind. School was out and summer is really the first time my daughter gets to be with the boys the entire day. I had them as soon as they awoke or stayed there until they awoke each morning and had them until evening. My daughter had an extended program at the school where she works and they school hours began one hour before regular school and extended until a full hour and a half after school for tutoring, etc. A lot of the mothers still didn't get there on time so many days she could not even leave until 4:30 or so. The trip home was 45 minutes so by the time she got home it was after 5 - time to eat, bathe and practically go to bed. I know how I value my time with the boys and I knew she missed them so much during the school year. I was able to see their first steps, their first words, etc. I just didn't want to take anything from her, but she never said I couldn't come - I imposed that on myself. We talked and she's quite agreeable to having me help out and she'll tell me if she has plans, etc where it would be inconvenient. She said we could still have the boys on Thursday nights for their sleepover. Paw paw is off on Fridays' and that is our special day. He and I take the boys on short trips and to events, etc. and out to eat at a restaurant every Friday. They travel like little champs. We've taken them on trips up to five hours away and sometimes spend the night away from home depending on the distance. They'll sleep or nap just as well in a bed as they do their cribs. Hubbie will take one in bed with him and I the other. I'm getting off subject here - but she said that's great if we want to continue this practice. We have a beach house and she's said since the boys love the water so much she and SIL will come on the weekends so we'll all be together then and if I want to come in the mornings because the boys get up early, I can get them up, give them their breakfast and she and hubbie will sleep in since they can't during the school year. And to answer another question - I get up at 4 each morning and always have - My husband has to be at work by 5 so I always got up with him, had coffee, etc. before the day began. It's a habit I can't break. It's 7 now and I have been up three hours. I've done my housework, worked in the lawn, cleaned the filer in the coy pond, etc. I worked for so many years, I learned to get up and get around and get things done early so when I got home in the afternoons I had time to spend with my family and wasn't scurrying about doing laundry, etc. I felt guilty enough about not being home with the girls - my mother and MIL were SAHMs as well as my grandmothers and sister in laws. I felt guilty about working so I wanted to make sure my girls never suffered. I got them to dance, music, gymnastics, sporting events, etc. so I adjusted to a fast paced schedule each morning to make sure I gave them quality time. Now that they are grown and gone, those habits stayed with me.

Well I did take a lot of great advice I got here. The next day I realized that school was out. Duh - school was out. I worked and retired from the school system. All my friends were teachers and administrators - they were home. I called and several of us got together for lunch the next day and the following day a few of us went to the casinos. My daughter and the boys were using our beach house with her inlaws that had come in from Texas - someone asked if I was from Texas - no - Alabama but my daughter's inlaws are from Texas and our best friends moved to Houston and we had been out there for a visit. Well since the beach house was in use, I made reservations for hubbie and I at a State Park on the River and he and I took the bass boat and fished for two days. After having lunch with my friends, we all decided we would sign up for an Intermediate Photography class. We had all taken the beginner class when we needed CEU's for school. We were required to take a certain number of classes each year and have 50 CEU's every two years for certificate renewal and it could be anything educational so we had chosen photography as one. Well we all signed up for the next level and I also signed up for a master gardening class at the same university. Those will be on the same day - just different times. I've signed up for a short scrapbooking class at Michaels to see if that interests me. I've also printed out plans on installing a lawn irrigation system. I do use power tools and I can follow directions to that should keep my occupied for a while. For the master gardening class I have already selected my project. After signing up we were to select something to work on and I have a project planned that will include installing a decorative fence area (really just a triange for a focal point and some planting) so that too will require some time. In fact I may have so much planned now that I have overloaded myself. But thank you all. You made me think. Most of all your encouragement made me ask my daughter if I was bothering her. I just made an assumption without asking. I still don't want to be a pest. I can remember back to those days of being a new mother myself so I'll try to stay in moderation. Again, thank you all for the great advice and for understanding.

 

QUOTE(aandax246 @ Jun 3 2008, 01:54 PM) [snapback]807183[/snapback]
I need a project.


I totally agree with volunteering at the Childrens Hospital. Great idea and you can cuddle some kids while you are at it.

 

How about a trip to Scotland!! Its lovely over here at this time of year

Seriously everything that people have suggested sounds great. I know i would love my mum to offer to come over and watch them for a while so i could get stuff done. I hope you find things to do! You sound like a lovely person x

 

Glad you talked and worked some time out!! I am CERTAIN as soon as the new baby is here, you'll have more than enough time with them!!! :wub: You are so sweet!! :hug99:

 

I'm so glad you talked to your daughter! It sounds like you have a wonderful summer planned... time with your boys, lots of projects, and learning new skills. Enjoy the summer!