I Knew This Time Would Come

I'm struggling ladies. I knew this time would come and I would eventually go back to work. Well here we are...it's almost time. I've been at home since October of 2008 (modified bedrest from Oct - Dec until the kiddos were born) and now that we've moved, it's time for me to start looking for a job. I'm having real anxiety about the whole thing. This move brought us five hours closer to family - we now only live 1 1/2 hours away which is fantastic! But, DH has to leave for four months for training and when he comes back there will be deployments and trips (military pilot) again. So there's the stress of a move, a new house, him leaving, trying to find a job, and putting the kids in daycare (three toddlers in day care = expensive!), and doing it all on my own while he's gone. There's so much change that's about to happen. I know no one's situation is the same, but please tell me I'm normal for feeling this anxious. I know there will come a day when it all clicks and I'm settled into my job and the kids have adjusted to daycare and my husband's back from training. But until then, I'm afraid I'm going to be a wreck! Stories, advice, anything would be appreciated!

 

I cant give advice bc I've been a SAHM since the end of November 2005 the boys were born the beginning of December 2005. Child care is EXPENSIVE as you said, If I went back to work my checks would pay for childcare so I might as well be the one caring for them. I plan to go back to work as soon as all my children are in school full time. If I had to go now I too would be a wreck. For the last 2 years you have been with them every second of every day, i cant imagine the thought of not being there but it will all work out and things will settle down.

Good Luck to you

 

I would be anxious too. I know the time is going to come when I'll go back to work too. I've actually been thinking about it a lot lately. I don't know how to even start - do you find a daycare first, event though you don't have the money to pay for full time child care or find a job first and then hope you can easily find a day care? That is the first thing I always think of. Good luck to you, you can do it!

 

Hi,

I think it is completely normal that you feel so anxious. That is a lot of change all at once so it is natural to be nervous about it all. For me I have never felt so much anxiety as I have over what to do with my kids when it comes to stay at home vs go back to work. Everyone feels differently about it but of course there are pros and cons to both. My kids go to daycare part time and I worried SO MUCH about it but they actually love it. Some of the pro's are: great socialization, active kids really love it as they are busy all day, depending on the daycare they do a great job with teaching (numbers, colors, etc.), and they do so many creative activities that I could never do at home. Now I don't regret sending them at all. A few things I recommend (although I have no idea if it is different where you are located...) go tour some daycare's now (before you have the job - or while you are looking) and get on some wait lists (probably more than 1). It is better to have the kids start a week or even 2 before you start your job if this is possible so they can get used to it and you can feel more comfortable before you start a new job. Also, you may want to try to find a back up plan for if the kids have to be home sick. I hope this helps and YES, it is totally normal how you feel. Good luck to you - I am sure it will work out for you and your family.

 

Thank you everyone. We are on several waiting lists, and I would like for them to be in daycare for at least a week before I start my job so we can all adjust. We need to go tour a few more places and get on a few more waiting lists though - spots are hard to find here! I guess my biggest stressor (although as I mentioned before, there are many) is the timing of it all. How long will it take me to find a job? Will there be three spots open at the same daycare at the time I need them to be open? What do I do if I get offered a job first or daycare spots open first? A lot of what-ifs - I know I just have to have faith that it will work out when and how it should. I'm excited for the kids to make new friends, learn new things from their teachers, etc. Plus, sometimes I think they could all use a little break from each other! Thanks again!

 

It is good that you have already scouted out daycares and are on some lists. I would suggest asking around or looking for a quick solution in case your daycare and job don’t align timing wise. Maybe a high school student who is off on summer break, a nanny services a small in home daycare that might have some space. Or maybe in a pinch a family member could help. Having this arranged or at least researched ahead of time might ease some of your anxiety. It is very stressful and you have a lot on your plate right now.

 

Hi, I just started back to work and my twins are almost 3. In my situation, I didn't enroll them before I started working because it was too expensive and the job market is very tight right now (hard to know when I would get an offer). Also, I wasn't sure what type of work schedule I would have since I wanted part time only. I agree with starting to visit preschools early. I wish I would have started sooner. I found some of them I ruled out pretty quickly. Some programs are not really set up for working parents, so I just crossed them off the list. I narrowed it down to 2 or 3 choices and started interviewing for jobs. When I got called back for a second round of interviews, I called all the preschools for an update and tried to see if their schedule matched mine (I'm working part time). I narrowed it down to 2 of the larger preschools in the area. They have more staff and a better schedule for a working parent (rarely closed except for major holidays, extended hours in the morning etc).

I've been anxious through the whole process, although it has worked out fine. The kids actually seem to love going now that they are adjusted. They keep them very busy and active all day long. The best way I found to deal with the transition was to stay organized. Keep a list of the things you need to do and just take a few things at a time. You have a lot of changes going on at once, so it's perfectly normal to be anxious! GL!