I have to ask because I feel sad...

OK, I am going to sound crazy...but, here it goes...

I feel like my DD could care less about me and doesn't "like" to be around me. (OMG!!! I cannot believe I am writing this about a 5 month-old!??!) Let me explain: My DS just lights up when I am around, but my DD lights up around everyone else except me...I SWEAR. Should I be sad? Because I am. I feel like I am not meeting her needs. I am beginning to not feel that bond with her...I feel like I should always have her in front of others so she is happy.

Am I crazy? Does anyone else sometimes feel this way? Please tell me I am being foolish...

jen

 

When my dd was that age, she seemed to like her daddy better. DS liked me. Just think how DH feels now when they both prefer me! They go through phases. It'll happen!

 

I totally have felt this way and still do at times. Mattea is my little lovey cuddler and ALWAYS wants me, even when someone else is trying to hold her. It just makes me feel so speacial. Autumn on the other hand is my miss independent. She does LOVE her daddy though, if he walks in the room she goes nuts. My feelings get hurt and I can admit that I do feel closer to Mattea than I ever have Autumn. I don't know why, Autumn was in the NICU a lot longer and has always been the patient baby that rarely cried. So she always went second in the beginning. I have tried my best to make things equal, but all I can say is that they are the way they are and there is nothing you did to cause it. If you would have had Jackson and then had Isabella 2 years later I GUARANTEE that she would be the same. You aren't alone though and I don't think it's wrong, I feel like telling the truth is better than pretending. Mattea is my Princess and Autumn is my Wild Thing. I don't love her any less than Matty, but we aren't as bonded.

 

One of my girls very early on definetly prefered her Daddy to me! She would laugh loud laughs, grin at him and have a ball around him. With me she was ok but no laughing or anything. Only recently does she smile and laugh at me and still not as much as to dh. I'm glad they enjoy each other so much but also am glad she is warming up to me.
Maybe you could try modifying your approach? Do others do something with her that you don't? For example, dh always exaggerates his speech and gestures with Nefeli and she loves that as well as being thrown up in the air. I don't do much of these things but when I do she likes it. I'm not saying to do anything that doesn't come natural though. I'm sure you'll develop your unique communication codes with her. I think they go through phases in their development where they prefer certain stimuli to other but it's not always clear what it is that is attracting their attention.

 

Thank you for not making me feel like a fool! I have tried different approaches...and nothing...just when my DH walks in...it is like the sunshine came out for her! I just would love to have a great bond my only girl...hopefully it is a stage like some of you have said.

 

It seems to be that some babies get bored with us pretty easily. And the will go back and forth...one may prefer you now but in a few months it will probably be the other one who prefers you.

 

Hang in there....one of these days you'll get that certain smile or cuddle that will just melt your heart. I had that same exact worry about my DD for the longest time!!! Then she finally seemed to want to be around me, but still wouldn't "cuddle". She'd cry if I left the room, but wouldn't settle her head on my shoulder like DS would. Now finally just this week she's started to kind of give hugs and lean on my shoulder when I hold her. And she's almost a year old! I think a lot of it is just personality, though....I even asked when we were at physcial therapy b/c every time I would pick her up, she'd turn away from me to face the same direction I was facing. I think she just wanted to see where she was going, was all.

She's always been a Daddy's girl, though, from the moment she was born. Maybe it's just something with girls & they need that special connection with their daddy's?

 

Normal!

Mine did that as well, and as they got older it changed... now they both want me all the time, LOL

 

Norah is VERY tempermental. She only cares about Nick and could care less about others. Only recently did she seem even partially amused by me or anyone besides Nick.

 

try not to take it personally. My ds prefers my husband......it hurts my feelings at time but i know she loves me too.

 

I don't have a girl, but my friend's DD preferred her DH until almost 3 years old but her little boy is all about her. I think it's a boy/girl thing, maybe. Maybe Freud wasn't so crazy.