I am sure this post will be relatable to many... well, I hope so ;-). It's also my first post in this forum! My boys turned 2 on Oct. 1. I adore them and love them to the moon. They're sweet, smart, funny, energetic, you name it. But, this post is not about that. It's about the other stuff. The daily fighting, whining, biting, etc. I have been a SAHM since my boys were born. I feel lucky to be able to do it. But, I'm soooo tired of the day-to-day grind. I feel like no matter how much I play with my boys or (try to) keep them entertained, within minutes of ending an activity, the fighting and whining start again (I literally feel guilty if I sit down and have a cup of coffee for 10 minutes). I also feel like I spend a huge part of my day as a referee. I have one son who is constantly taking whatever it is my other son is playing with. This, of course, results in a tantrum, biting, etc. I have handled it by intervening, correcting, ignoring, nothing works--well, maybe I should say nothing prevents it from recurring. This is one area where having one child must be soooo different. I am soooo tired of mealtime! Breakfast is usually okay, but lunch and dinner consist of a fair-to-large amount of throwing food, spitting water, etc. Once again, we have tried everything as far as this goes, too. We correct, we take things away, we ignore, nothing stops it for more than a few minutes. The most frustrating part is my one son (and sometimes the other) will look at me, say "no throw," then whip a handful of food across the kitchen and laugh. It's enough to drive a sane person crazy. Cleanup can take as long as the meal itself. Then, there's just all of the "mischief" (I don't use that word typically, or troublemaker, or anything like that). Unloading the dishwasher, climbing on anything and everything to access anything and everything they shouldn't, opening and unloading the fridge, etc. I am alone with them often as my DH works a lot, so it's impossible to stop, correct, and intervene for every single thing. As I was changing a dirty diaper yesterday, I heard my other son opening the dishwasher (we have it tightly bungy-corded as no other so-called childproof "lock" has ever worked) as I pray that he takes anything out but a knife (which we place in the far back). My one son is more of a whiner and it makes me feel bad because I feel like I should be able to keep him more happy. I'll let him watch his favorite bulldozer video that he loves, but as soon as it ends, he melts down begging to watch it over and over and over again. So, I guess it's just getting old. I never used to feel the urge to yell or throw something at the wall out of complete frustration-- which I don't, but I want to ;-)!!!! When does this phase end? When do they start listening? I have a hard time believing that they still don't understand what we're telling them to do/not do. Is this poor impulse control? Is it not caring about/understanding consequences? We try to be consistent. As for being a SAHM in general, I don't know how people do it long-term. I would love to be here part-time and at work part-time. I do not feel gratification from doing laundry and making dinner and I simply don't know how much longer I can read truck books, build blocks, and construct puzzles all day long. As you can see, I am expecting, so I have a while to go before I go back to work. Anyway, this is more of a vent than anything else, I guess. I think DH and I are a good team and I think we do what we're comfortable with in terms of discipline and such. But, any tips on surviving SAHMhood with two, soon-to-be three, wild and active little boys? Are they bored? I'd love to take them to Gymboree or somewhere similar to get their energy out, but it's hard for me to do that right now, being 8 months pregnant. Thanks.
:hug: I feel like I could have typed your post. Especially this past year. Toddlers do have poor impulse control and the older they get, the more they want to test you. I would be consistent with whatever discipline method you use. I can imagine how hard it is to get out and about while 8 months pregnant. Do you have a yard for them to go out and play in? Storytime at a local library or Barnes and Noble? Any place to go where you can sit down and watch while they run around and play?
Honestly I gave up playing with them a long time ago... it makes my days more bearable because they entertain each other a lot... and it gives me time to do things for myself too. Plus I swear the more we play with them, the whinier they get! But I would have gone totally nuts by now if I had to play with them all the time... NOT for me. My two still get into everything, sorry... meal times are much better though - so at least that improves, lol. Although they stopped throwing food pretty much when we got rid of high chairs/boosters at 2.5.
You are at a verrrrrrrry hard age. I can certainly appreciate it because I am, as well, with my 21 month-old. The twins are my EASY ones and as former colic monsters and terrible two tantrum throwers that didn't end until ... well ... like last week (ha ha) I can't believe I am saying that. Like the pp that said she did not play with them much ... she has 3.5 year olds. You will find that as your twins get older (and sad to say you WILL have to "deal" with it again with the little one) it will get easier and therefore you will be able to get back some of "yourself." My husband and I both were big distance runners and into fitness and we both just lost it all when we had the twins. He was in medical residency (80 hour weeks at least and works LOTS of weekends) and we had no money for childcare so I was alone with them a lot. A LOT ... and now I am alone with all of them a lot but at least now the twins are in preschool (they are 4) and I can occasionally get a sitter for Caroline or take her to the gym daycare ... you just have to find ways to find "yourself" in there, too ... in your day. I have gotten back into running and I volunteer with several charity groups and help out at the twins' school and all of these feel rewarding to me. I take a weekly yoga class ... you just HAVE to somehow carve out some time to do the things that make you, you. As for playing with them ... they will be better able to peacefully play together in the next few months to a year. I think 3 was magic for us. The twins finally got to where they would just disappear for a bit and I would find them in their rooms just "reading" books or playing creatively with each other and their toys. My kids still trash the house on a fairly daily basis but I feel like it just comes with the territory of being home a lot. It really helps me (though it is exhausting, especially when I was pregnant so I get that) to get out of the house when they are whining etc. If the weather where you are is nice enough, if we even just go play in the yard it helps. All of mine, fortunately, like books. If they are whiny sometimes I just sit and read to them for a while and it is like the downtime and together time (with me) helps get them past whatever they were fussing about. Well, hang in there ... they don't call it the "terrible twos" for nothing =) Caroline is my pistol right now ... you can't take the kid anywhere and she is constantly getting into the twins' things and it is just one more thing to fight about. Sometimes you just can't win for losing =) It is just a phase, right? Don't you hate it when people say that! Hope you can find a way to take some time out for yourself! Sometimes I find myself missing my little hospital stay post-C/S with my singleton. She was in the newborn nursery bc she had to be under the bili lights and the twins (of course) were home with Daddy and Grandma ... I (despite the large amount of post-op issues you have with c/s) almost enjoyed the downtime! HA!
My girls turned 2 in August and I have been a SAHM since they were born as well. This past month, I have taken them back to daycare at the gym as well as started them in a Mommy and Me gymnastics program. It has been so much better! They are happier because they are stimulated outside the home and I get time to myself at the gym as well as get out of the house! It's a win-win. Most gym daycares are super cheap (mine is not because we live overseas), but I know at LA fitness in Seattle I was paying $50 a month which included my membership as well as daycare 6 days a week. It's worth a try! I think The Little Gym also offers gymnastics programs, but I am unsure of their costs. I swear with the weather changing, I wouldn't survive a winter at home with my crazy two year olds!
I feel you! Perhaps to give you some hope... my boys became monsters just before they turned two. It was a phase and they grew out of it after a few months. Don't get me wrong, they are still a challenge as they approach their 3rd birthday but nothing compared to that period. And, being pregnant while wrangling toddlers is tough, I have no advice! Thankfully, my singleton did me a solid and was born at 36 weeks!! But it doesn't get any easier after that ;-) Take a breath. You can do this! I also remember DREADING mealtime. One thing that worked for us was when they were acting up at the dinner table, we gave one warning like... "Do not throw food. You will leave the table without dinner if you don't stop." If they didn't stop, I calmly unbuckled them and removed them from the table. I am consistent with this and they know now that mom means business. A lot of times, they come back to table and eat like good little boys. If not and they ask for food later in the evening, they get their unfinished dinner plate. Sure, once one twin was off and playing the other wanted out too, but mealtime was so miserable I had to do something that didn't involve yelling. By the end of the day, my patience is gone!!! You can't MAKE a toddler eat and, hey... they won't starve! Like the others have said, whatever you do... be consistent! I work one day a week and for me, it is a struggle. I am reminded that I cannot be the kind of engineer I want to be working part time and I know I won't be the kind of mom I want to be working full time. On the ONE day I work, I am still responsible for all my chores that I missed at home, dinner included. In the end, I have come to the conclusion that there is no "easy" answer... part-time, full-time, stay at home... being a mom is just HARD!!!! Thank goodness for other moms and their support or I don't know if I could do it!!! (And I am married... my husband COULD be a bit more supportive!! Cheers to you single moms out there!!) Anyway, there is my rant! Know that you are not alone!!! Hugs! :friends:
Other than being pregnant I could have written this post. My monsters turned 2 in September and they are not real pleasant to be around. DD has been on the attack for a few months now. DS has just recently started hitting her back. I'm hoping it ends soon too.
