I hate this name!

Well my ultrasound yesterday shows two boys which I was apprehensive about because we didn't have any boys names picked out. Once we found out for sure my DH is insisting on a name that I can't stand and went into this sopp story about how I needs to name one of his sons after his best friend Rigel. I reluctantly agreed but now I really wish I hadn't. I appologize to anyone who used the name or likes it but I am really against it now and feel that I'm going to end up calling the baby by its middle name instead and would feel really bad. He wants to give the baby a middle name that starts with a J so we can call him RJ but I hate that too!!

I really don't know what to do and I wish he wasn't being so stubborn about this. I'm having a hard time sleeping because this is bothering me so bad. I want to cry!

 

awwwww, hugs to you.....
maybe could you & DH have another conversation about the name & really express to him how you feel about the name??
would he be open to discussing it again? they are both of your children & you should try to find a common ground if possible
DH & I went to our 'b' list for our girls first names because my favorites he wasn't crazy about & his favorites I hated! so we had to move to plan b ~
good luck!

 

A name is a huge thing, you should both be happy with the names you choose.
i had a lot of my fav. names turned down by DH so i made sure that we were both happy with the names that got picked
Good Luck it can be stressful

 

I second (or third) all of the previous posters. Neither my husband or I got our absolute first pick of names when it came to naming the girls...it took quite a bit of time and compromise before we could agree on something. My husband wanted "Sky Marie," but I didn't like Sky as a first name, and I'm not fond of Marie at all (no offense to anyone). We did end up incorporating it - one daughter is Victoria Skye.

I think our most interesting concession was in spelling. I wanted to put an "e" on the end of "Sky," my husband did not; I wanted to spell "Addison" as "Addyson" and he wanted "Addysen." So I got the "e" on "Skye" and he got "Addysen." Now, none of our family can spell Sasha's middle name (Addysen)...but Tori's middle name has an "e" on it. Hope that made sense, but...that's our story :lol:

How 'bout Rigel as a middle name? I like sentimental middle names. Just a thought.

 

never hear of Rigel...how is it pronouced?? but yes, i agree with the above responses. you'll be saying the name you choose probably a hundred times a day for the next 18 years, i think you have a right to something you like

 

I never heard of it either, and I like the idea of using it for a middle name instead.

 

What is Rigel's middle name?? if you like it better maybe that name would be an option????

I am surprised that we did not get divorced over naming our girls!! - dh wanted to name one after his mother (whom I love but not the name!!) but IMO that would not have been fair to my family and dh HATES my family names so we decided not to name them after anyone. I remember being kind of afraid to have even one girl because I KNEW that would happen and his mother's feelings would get hurt (dh told her ever since he was a kid that he wanted to name a girl after her) but I refuse to have to name my child a name I do not like!! I would have used mil's name as a middle name but dh WOULD not use one of my family names even as a middle name so he lost out on that one!!

 

I would say use it as a middle name instead of a first name. That's how we chose to honor family members with our kids names.

 

I agree, go with it as a middle name, then he could be JR! Names can be hard, We used my DHs fav grandma for our first DD middle name, plain old Marie. Now, I want to use something for my mom's side and something for my dad's side (their divorced). My dad's mom's name was Fern, ewww and there are no other girl names so we are going to call her Kenna Steven (my dad's name), and my mom's middle name and my middle name is Kaye so our other one is Ava Kaye. I don't LOVE the way either one of them sound together but it's just a middle name!
Good Luck, but don't settle, you don't want to dislike your child's name!!!

 

My advice is to sit down together and decide on a name. Also take into consideration how cruel children can be once they reach school age. Go back to your childhood; did you make fun of people because of their name?

With our son my DH wanted to name him Davide (Dah-veed). I was totally against this. I told him maybe in another country that name would be wonderful but here in the states not so much. My DH was dead set on the name and I told him absolutely not because I did not want my child to be teased at school and I wanted my child to be able to get a job when he is old enough. My suggestion was Dave and he did not like that. Luckily his mother called and asked if we could name him Joel. After a day or so we agreed on that because my mother lives near us and his mother lives in Colorado. We figured since she would not get to see him as often as my mother would we would name him Joel. With this pregnancy we decided to stay with the J's. He picked a name out of the bible and I picked a name out of the bible.
There nick names will be Joey, Josh and J-sy.

 

A lot can happen in the next few months. Just come up with lots & lots of names and keep suggesting them, and see if you can convince DH that Rigel would be a better middle name. =) Good luck!

 

It's was the same for me! I had perfect girl names that we both liked, then we found out we're having boys We just hadn't got around to picking out boy names yet.

Anyway, my mom named her first son after my dad's best friend. She's always regretted it. She never really cared about this friend, and now that they're older they never see him and have barely in contact with him (If you can count a FWD email once in a while contact).

You will have to live with these names the rest of your life. I know from experience that my DH would veto any name he didn't like, so I made sure I had the same right. We have different views on naming. I was named after family and I love it! Dh was named after family and he hates it, and is very adamant that our boys have their "own" name. You know how hard that is to come up with when you don't want to make up names? We've had so many conversations that went something like this "How about Ty?" "No." "Why not?" "My cousin's name is Ty." "I thought his name was Tylor?" "It is, but he goes by Ty. So no." I just try to remember strangling my husband is not an option. At one point I had to drop the whole subject for a few weeks. Now we have one full name and just need to settle on one more middle name.

Just talk to him, and keep throwing names out there and in the end you will both be able to find names you both like. It may not be that your both 100% thrilled about them, but you'll both like them, and you'll have picked them out together. I've heard of so many people that since childhood wanted to name their kid a certain name, but I haven't heard of any of them that thought back then "Gee, I hope my spouse will like that name." You're both having these twins, and you'll both have to live with them. Hang in there! It'll work out it. :hug99: G/L!

 

i agree with the PPs.

How about use it for the middle name??

You've got to be happy about it to use it! DH can't DEMAND a name! Especailly from the mama who is doing all the work carrying those babies!

I hope you can work something out!

 

I'm stressed over this to say the least!
I want to use it as a middle name and Joseph as the first name, so Joseph Rigel.
For those that don't know, its pronounced like Nigel, but with an R.
I tried to talk to him about it but he says that I get to name "my baby" and he can name "his baby." I told him buntly that that was stupid and they are both OUR babies so we should both like the names that we are going to call them for the rest of our lives. I also told him that I would end up calling him by his middle name the whole time, so we'll see. I really did cry last night and this morning over this.

Perhaps I'll just pull the famous request of name while I'm in labor and in pain. Pitiful.

 

QUOTE(Vivian @ Jul 25 2008, 08:32 AM) [snapback]895883[/snapback]
I just try to remember strangling my husband is not an option.


I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes!! My husband and I have agreed that we both have to agree on both names (he was trying to have us each name one....yeah....right). I agree with pp that you should offer it up as a middle name. That's still an honor.

 

You MUST agree on the names or you will always have resentment towards your dh. We had baby A's first and middle name chosen before we knew we were having a girl, let alone twins! Baby B was another story. We just couldn't agree on anything. He really wanted Paige, while it is okay, it's not my favorite. I liked Hannah, he didn't like that. We finally made a list of all the names we each liked and switched the list. Crossed off the ones we didn't like, then switched back. We did this a few times before we were left with Kaytlin. I would strongly urge you to talk with him and tell him that you don't like the name. As much as you love him and respect him, naming your child this will cause you to have resentment towards him. These babies are part of BOTH of you, you both need to be happy with the names....

 

I agree with PP. I have been there. My DH and I couldn't agree on names for anything. I was even asking him still when I was filling out for birth certificates in the hospital if we were sure on the names, on how they were spelled, etc. It took us the full 37 weeks to be sure. You have to like the names... both of you. It's important. Good luck. :hug99: Try talking again and again, until it's all agreed on. Don't back down.

 

Thanks everyone for the support and everything. I talked to him again and little by little he's warming up to it. I won't give up on this one, I'm stubborn! Even if I have to make him change his mind while I'm giving birth I'll do it! It'll be hard though because his mom wants to be part in naming and she likes the name too.

 

Bless your heart!!! I so hate that you are having so much stress over this right now!! I do not blame you I would do anything to NOT name a baby a name I did not like!!! I think Joseph Rigel is a very handsome name and a good compromise!!

:hug99:

 

Joseph Rigel has a better natural flow than Rigel Joseph.

If it makes you feel any better, Rigel is the name of a star in Orion, the 7th brightest in the night sky. I am sure your new son will be a star as well.

 

QUOTE(rubyturquoise @ Jul 26 2008, 08:06 AM) [snapback]897387[/snapback]
If it makes you feel any better, Rigel is the name of a star in Orion, the 7th brightest in the night sky. I am sure your new son will be a star as well.


that is really neat!!!

 

QUOTE(Kimani @ Jul 26 2008, 03:15 AM) [snapback]897299[/snapback]
Thanks everyone for the support and everything. I talked to him again and little by little he's warming up to it. I won't give up on this one, I'm stubborn! Even if I have to make him change his mind while I'm giving birth I'll do it! It'll be hard though because his mom wants to be part in naming and she likes the name too.


Well IMO......His Mom isn't carrying the babies....she doesn't get to help!....I told everyone...if you didn't help make them...then you don't get to help name them! :lol:

Good luck...I hope you both find names that you love!

 

Oh, that sucks that you gave in and agreed to it, that is one thing I can NEVER do with my DH, change things on him, maybe you can get away with changing your mind due to pregnancy hormones and just being tired, and WANTING to like it for your dhs sake, but you just couldn't?

How about his best friend's name for a middle name? My husband's best friend name his son with my husband's middle name, and we are going to name our cooking boys with middle names from family members- one name which I would feel very much the same way you do if it was to be his first name. Good luck with trying to convince your dh otherwise...

And you guys can call him whatever nickname you want, his friends and people in his life will end up calling him whatever they want despite what you prefer. My parents named my sister "Elisabeth" with an S because they like the name and lots of the nicknames- except Liz or Lizzie, they hated that. So what does everyone who is not in the family call my sister? Lizzie. Just a thought that what you would like as a nickname IMO is not a good enough reason to name someone anything.

 

QUOTE(rubyturquoise @ Jul 26 2008, 08:06 AM) [snapback]897387[/snapback]
Joseph Rigel has a better natural flow than Rigel Joseph.

If it makes you feel any better, Rigel is the name of a star in Orion, the 7th brightest in the night sky. I am sure your new son will be a star as well.


Haha DH has pointed that out but according to my baby name book its also Arabic for foot. I don't want to name my baby foot!!that just kinda reminds me when my mom named my brother after my grandfather who is Navajo and later found out his name means "fat" (my grandfather was really skinny and Navajos have a VERY unique sense of humor). She couldn't believe that my family let her name her baby "fat!"


I'm pushing for using it as a middle name, I'm glad that we still have a few more months though.

 

Well if I have a boy which I am hoping for(at least one) he wants to name it his name which is Versailles. YUCK!

 

So sorry you are having to go through this!! My DH and I completely disagreed about names from the beginning too -- actually he thought he should get to pick *both* names since i had children coming into the marriage and these two are his onlies! I vetoed that RIGHT away and for the same reason as everyone has mentioned -- we both need to be at the very least "OK" with the names we decide on. He wasn't very willing to do the work and make a list, and he still hung onto the idea of having a little girl named simply "Marie" --- well, i disliked it. My boys are Gabriel, Adrian and Donovan and I wanted the girls to have something slightly more "interesting." So I made a LOOOOOONG list of every name i could find that was at least acceptable and then he vetoed and I vetoed etc etc. I had about 5 favorites and he liked 2 of those pretty well, so I brought up "Marie" again and said I could consider it if we used a longer given name and Marie is her nickname. It worked and her name is "Marina" which was on my original list of likes. Baby B got my 2nd favorite name, "Sophie" and we are both actually happy.

I have to mention that I have made it a point to ask my boys to refer to Marina as Marie and I can telll DH is happy with the arrangement (he even told me to put her longer name on some of the personalized stuff). And in a million bazillion years i never could have imagined that i would have a little girl named "Marie" but it has really grown on me and I think it's the compromising that helped! I hope your DH is willing to hear you and understand that this is stressing you out -- I think "Rigel" as a middle name is a great compromise, and for what it's worth, it *is* a unique name, so I hope you can eventually warm up to it at least a little

Sorry so long -- just want you to know I feel for you and I hope that you get this worked out! PLEASE let DH know how mch stress you are feeling because of this!

jen
(ps we haven't even STARTED to find middle names yet!)

 

I agree with the others above, use Rigel as a middle name. And I understand where you're coming from a bit...Dh insists on the name Iain (pronounced Ian)...I mean, I guess it's ok, I just foresee problems with having to constantly correct people on spelling and pronounciation...I had excessive problems with MY name growing up (Georgina) and always hated it and don't want him to suffer as well. But DH just won't give.

 

When your DH says that you get one baby to name and he gets one baby to name, maybe you should point out that you are doing way more than half the work here! Tell him that you deserve at least 50% in his name b/c all he did to get these babies was to have a night of fun! Maybe that will sway him?

 

QUOTE(twins225 @ Jul 25 2008, 05:48 AM) [snapback]895474[/snapback]
never hear of Rigel...how is it pronouced?? but yes, i agree with the above responses. you'll be saying the name you choose probably a hundred times a day for the next 18 years, i think you have a right to something you like

It's pronounced like rye-juhl. Rigel info

I agree that names are something that both parents really need to compromise on. I think having Rigel as a middle name can be a good compromise.

And it could have been worse, he might have wanted to name him Sirius, Altair, Arcturis, Canopus, Deneb, Castor, Pollux, Regulus, Antares... sorry, I like stars.

 

QUOTE(jordynsmama+2 @ Jul 26 2008, 12:52 PM) [snapback]897826[/snapback]
Well if I have a boy which I am hoping for(at least one) he wants to name it his name which is Versailles. YUCK!

Tell him that it was customary for men to "relieve" themselves on the back of the staircases in Versailles palace. (Versailles was designed without bathrooms.) Point out that maybe your son may decide to live up to his name and pee on the back of the couch.