I go back to work on Monday :(

Some of you may remember when I lost my job this past September. I had gone back to work when my maternity leave ran out. The girls were about 7 weeks old. Two months after returning, my position was eliminated. I completely freaked out thinking we would lose everything. It ended up being okay. I HATED the job I had and was dreading going back. It was a blessing in disguise. I found a new job that hopefully will be more flexible, and will be for about the same money. Actually I'm going back into private practice which is where the flexibility comes in...hopefully. You guys we have downsized as much as we can--or at least as much as DH will let us. There is no way I can be a SAHM, no matter how much I want to. I've come to terms with it as much as I can. I'm so sad. These past 4 1/2 months have been the most wonderful of my entire life. I've been able to be with my girls and take care of my husband and our home. It's like I found my true calling. I don't want to go back to practicing law and I have no choice. Those stupid student loans must be repaid. I cry whenever I think about it. I will miss them so terribly, and while I have the comfort of knowing they will at least get to stay in their home (nanny) rather than having to take them to a daycare facility, I know that I will be missing so much. In my mind I will be missing everything. I am so grateful that the Lord released me from my prior job. I used to pray and pray and pray that He would get me out of there. I used to pray with my girls that He would create a way for us to spend more time together. He did, and it was every bit as wonderful as I knew it would be. Yet I have to go back. I know that He has a wonderful, perfect plan in store. This is just so incredibly hard. I'm so afraid that my girls will forget about me and we'll lose the precious bond that we have.

Thanks for listening.

Robynn

 

Some of you may remember when I lost my job this past September. I had gone back to work when my maternity leave ran out. The girls were about 7 weeks old. Two months after returning, my position was eliminated. I completely freaked out thinking we would lose everything. It ended up being okay. I HATED the job I had and was dreading going back. It was a blessing in disguise. I found a new job that hopefully will be more flexible, and will be for about the same money. Actually I'm going back into private practice which is where the flexibility comes in...hopefully. You guys we have downsized as much as we can--or at least as much as DH will let us. There is no way I can be a SAHM, no matter how much I want to. I've come to terms with it as much as I can. I'm so sad. These past 4 1/2 months have been the most wonderful of my entire life. I've been able to be with my girls and take care of my husband and our home. It's like I found my true calling. I don't want to go back to practicing law and I have no choice. Those stupid student loans must be repaid. I cry whenever I think about it. I will miss them so terribly, and while I have the comfort of knowing they will at least get to stay in their home (nanny) rather than having to take them to a daycare facility, I know that I will be missing so much. In my mind I will be missing everything. I am so grateful that the Lord released me from my prior job. I used to pray and pray and pray that He would get me out of there. I used to pray with my girls that He would create a way for us to spend more time together. He did, and it was every bit as wonderful as I knew it would be. Yet I have to go back. I know that He has a wonderful, perfect plan in store. This is just so incredibly hard. I'm so afraid that my girls will forget about me and we'll lose the precious bond that we have.

Thanks for listening.

Robynn

 

Can I say I'm sorry and congrats in one sentence?? I am sorry you have to go back to work, but congrats on getting a new job that will hopefully allow your family the financial support you need and maybe be more enjoyable then your previous job. Its so hard to leave your kiddos and go to work, I know. I also feel that every time I leave them I am missing so much! You are so lucky to have had as much time at home with them as you have. Personally, I am working on growing a money tree in my backyard so that I can be a SAHM. When I figure out how to grow one I will mail you some seeds, ok??

 

Sounds good to me Rachael!

 

Robynn, sounds like you have great faith and with that you'll be just fine!! Good luck going back to work!! I can imagine that it's hard!!

 

I'm sorry! I can only imagine how you feel. But, on the bright side, those darn student loans will eventually get paid off and maybe when you don't have that debt, you might be able to swing it so you can work part time or be a full time SAHM. Or you could be like me and have too many kids to put in daycare.

 

I remember talking to you about this issue back when my girls were only a few months old. I am also an attorney. I decided to quit my job and stay home with the girls, but I was lucky enough to find a part-time job teaching paralegal students at a technical school. I'm still at home with my girls most of the time, but I also manage to make just enough money to pay my student loans every month. But in order for this to work we sold our $290,000 home and moved into a $160,000 home - which was a major change! But it has all worked out for the best. I wish you peace with your decision. And don't worry, God has a plan for you and your family!

 

Maybe you'll win the Lotto and get to stay home again. I know how you feel. I have 4 children and have had to go back to work twice for about a year each. I felt so guilty leaving the kids, and I missed them so much. They love you very much and they will not forget you. They will be happy when you get home after work.

Play that Lotto!

 

I completely understand how you feel. The six weeks that I had with my girls were absolutely amazing. I, too, have student loans that have to be paid before I can even consider being a SAHM. However, I am a teacher so I get the entire summer and several days throughout the year off with them and my son. Prayer was answered for us as well whem my mother and MIL decided that they would keep the girls at our home. I have been so thankful that my girls don't have to go to daycare, as I am sure you are, too.

I thought my girls would forget me, too. But they just scream with delight whenever I walk through the door. They only want me when I come home and it is a great feeling. They never forget those that love them the most.

 

Aww, congrats on getting back to work! I hope your first day back goes smoothly for you.

I think it took mine a few weeks to really get use to staying with the sitters.

Give us an update on how everything goes!!

 

Good Luck with your new job. At least you won't be miserable about where you are working. The girls will NOT forget their Mommy- how could they? Be sure to tell your nanny what milestones they have acheived, and let her know that if/when they hit another to NOT tell you. I told the ladies in my boys' daycare that I want the delusion (sp?) that I have been the one to see all their firsts.

Another upside? You get to see that "Surprise, it's my Mommy!!!" smile (you know, the one they give you first thing in the morning) two times each day

 

Don't worry your girl's won't forget about you. The first week is always the hardest when you have to go back to work. Good luck!!!

 

I'm right there with ya. I go back tomorrow (Tuesday). It's no fun but we do what we have to do and it always works out in the end.

 

I do remember when you lost your job, and I'm so glad it turned out to be for the best. I know it's hard to be happy about going back to work, but try to focus on the fact that you DID get that wonderful time at home with them and cherish that. It's a gift. With my first child, my husband and I both stopped working when she was 9 months and traveled Europe for a year. It was so special. Then, with the twins, I had to return to work at 7 weeks! I still agonize over the fact that I didn't get that same bonding time with them. I try not to think about it. It just isn't an option to do the same thing this time around.

I know it is hard, but perhaps you can work up to only working three days a week once you get your practice established. If you can find a partner (perhaps another mom with a similar desire), you guys could divide the workload. I know it may not always work out every week (I don't recall what kind of law you practice, but I know sometimes trials and cases can last several days), but it could be something you do most of the time. Can you refinance your student loans to make payments lower?

It is hard to adjust to a different income level. I learned when we lived in France (and had a very feast or famine money stream when it came to income living off of freelance income and savings) that you actually CAN live off of much less money than you think. I would work on your budget and see where money could be trimmed to allow you to work less hours.

I really felt for you reading this post. I love to work (in fact, I am a workaholic), but there are so many times I feel sad that I make the most money in this family and HAVE to work. I'm not sure whether I'd enjoy the SAHM lifestyle, but I would love to work from home... or even work part-time and have a couple days a week home with the kids. It's even just because of the little things. I wish I had time at home to make a real dinner every night, or make homemade baby food more often (I do it now, but it's always a struggle to find time and I don't get to do it nearly enough), or even to learn to knit baby clothes. It's not like it's a huge deal, but all of those caring-for-the-family things are rushed and squeezed in as I can do it. It's so hard.

Anyway, I probably didn't make you feel much better, but I just wanted you to know I sympathize. All my pre-kid life, I never imagined I would long to be a housewife! Heheh. But here I am, and I do.

 

Oh, and I should have added that a DIFFERENT job makes a huge difference. When the twins were 7 weeks old, we moved and I took a job that was EXTREMELY stressful. I never even knew if I would get off on time to pick them up from daycare! Well, I got a new job that is so much less stressful and more fun and more family-friendly. While I still don't see them during the day, I DO enjoy and experience my time with the kids after work and on weekends so much more. I'm not as tense and focused on what horrible thing will happen the next day at work. It's just such a dramatic difference.

I wanted to mention that because you would think working is working, but it really isn't. Now, I know I have flexibility to go to doctor's appts (which my husband, who freelances, often had to do by himself), and to KNOW I will be off at 5, etc.

So even though you are going back to work, this will not be the same experience you had working before. You really will experience a better quality of life during the time you spend with your children.

 

Hey. You can read the list of digital banks to choose something for you. Good luck with your finances!