I feel so guilty

I feel horrible saying this, but I spend most of the time they are awake watching the clock until I can put them back to sleep. I love them so much, but if I'm not right there holding them, feeding them, or entertaining them then they are crying and it isn't very fun. Half the time they cry even if I'm holding them. I feel like I enjoyed my older daughter so much more when she was a baby (and she was a pretty high needs baby). I want to be savoring the time they are little, but I'm mostly wanting them to grow up and be "easier" except I'm not sure it's going to get much easier once they get older and mobile. I don't even think they are particularly difficult babies (although they are far from the mythical "easy" babies I hear about), but combined they are tremendously exhausting. I think I just needed to vent a little.

 

Big, huge hugs to you. I went through this...or I should say...I made it through this! Mine were criers in the first months. It may not be easier later but very different I think. I am getting more sleep and it is way more fun when they are mobile...you can actually play with them. Hang in there...summer is coming and you can get more fresh air and hopefully more rest! Sorry you are going through this - vent away!

 

Unfortunatelly I am right there with you to make things more fun they only nap 30mins at a time and our evenings are horrible since they are so overtired. Our nights aren't any better I am not getting any sleep. I am praying everyday for this year to go by FAST! Big hugs to you I know what you are going through.

 

This was the first 3 months of the girls' lives for me. I used to say, if they aren't sleeping or eating, they are pissed. I was just telling DH today that as they get older, they get happier. The first few months I don't think most babies have any gauge of crying. They don't know how to show a little displeasure or discomfort. They only know how to scream. At 4 months, my girls learned to just whine a little and now they can grunt to let me know what they want. It gets better! Good luck I'm sorry you are having such a hard time

 

:hug: I went through this as well. I hated to "wish away the time" yet I wasn't enjoying them all that much. It was until just after 6 months that I actually started having fun with them and enjoy them so much more. Hang in there...it does get better!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm still happy to see nap time come but I do enjoy them more when they're awake.

 

I have struggled with this as well. I found that things have gotten a lot better at the 5 month mark, but I know with my first DD I really enjoyed 2/3 months on! Not the case this time! In fact, the 2-4 month period has been the worst. Finally I recently started to "enjoy my babies" and then just this week a setback--just a very fussy week very similar to what you describe. I think it is frustrating when you have older kids b/c you have kinda BTDT and know what better times await you! I feel restless that way as well and have taken way less pictures which I need to work on. But hang in there anywya, I think you will turn the corner soon... just a few more weeks to get through!

 

I have days like this. the boys are generally very laid back babies, but for some reason when my yr old is home, he goes to daycare during the week, all hell breaks loose and I want to run away from home. It's good to see we arent alone, and that it does get better.

 

:grouphug: I am sooo there with all of you!!! These are our last babies too and I just wish I could enjoy them more but I can't and just like you its not because I don't love them. I'm at rock bottom right now and trying to find a way we can claw our way up. I do have a few moments each day and when I recognize them I try to relish them before having the sweet moment shattered with screams or barf or poop haha. Don't feel guilty momma, we are all right there with you!!!! This is a huge undertaking and just by making it this far we are superwomen!!! It does get better we just have to hang on as tight as we can.

 

You are not alone. It happens to everyone who has multiples. It is A LOT of work and one person can only take so much. I promise it gets better. When they slept all night it made a huge difference. When they sat up by themselves, I got a little more freedom. Now we are working on finger foods and it is getting better.

It is rough and eventually you will thoroughly enjoy being with them every minute of the day!!

Jenn

 

Yep, I think most of us have been there at one point. Taking care of infant twins is a daunting task. There is just never enough time in the day to get everything done for them let alone have a toddler as well. You are being torn in so many ways. Dont be so hard on yourself. Ask for help if you need it. Maybe a highschooler can come over after school an afternoon a week and play with the babies while you shower. Try and use whatever resources you have to get a break. It is well worth it. Hang in there. It does get better. :hug:

 

:hug: A 2 year old and two 3 month olds sounds overwhelming to someone with 2 kids total. I bet the way you are feeling is totally normal and the feeling will probably come and go as they grow older.

 

You are not alone...I feel like my twins are being "jipped" alot because I don't have the time to spend quality time with them like I did my first. I also feel like, since these are my last babies, I too amd missing out enjoying them as infants. I struggle with that everyday.

 

I think we all feel like this at some point, it's totally normal, especially at that age, they are still too small to "do" anything. caring for two babies at once can be overwhelming, it is a lot of work. Don't feel bad, things will get easier in time

 

I actually cannot really remember the first 4 or 5 months the babies were home. I was so stressed out and watching the clock as to when my husband would come home and help me! I had a hard time enjoying the babies, and as I look back, I cannot believe I survived! Things started to get easier when they got about 5 months old for me, and when they started sitting up things got even easier!

Hang in there! Having twinfants is hard, hard, hard!!!!

 

The twins are my last babies and I wish I could enjoy this a little more but its hard. I am just looking forward to the day when they can sit up and entertain themselves a little on their own. You are definitely not alone!:grouphug:

 

I love these posts!! It's always so nice to hear you are not alone. That Mommy Guilt can be a killer! I can't believe they are almost 1 and I feel like the whole first year when in a blur that I didn't really get to enjoy!! And, like so many PPs, these are our last, so I won't get to have infants again...

 

Aww man, honey. You are in the worst of it now. I don't have much consolation other than to say what you are feeling is totally normal and it gets sooooo much better. It got easier at around 4 months, then again at 6. Now at almost a year I'm really starting to have fun with my babies. I honestly don't remember much about their first 3-4 months. But it does get better and you're almost past the worst of it.

 

Oh yeah... for us, sitting was the key to everything getting easier. Once they could sit alone and play with some toys, my day got so much better and easier!

 

I felt the same way you did - when that garage door opened at night (my husband coming home) I felt such relief. When the twins started sleeping through the night I started to feel like myself again. That lack of sleep in the first 5 months was killer - I felt that I could not function properly during the day.

Don't feel guilty - the infant phase is so so difficult - more so than I ever imagined - but does pass quickly. Now my twins are older and playing together and keeping each other occupied. My other friends with children this age are having to entertain them all the time and I don't have to worry about that so much.

Don't beat yourself up for looking forward to their naps! You are human! You are doing terrific work and your hard work will definitely pay off.

 

The first three months were pretty awful for me - both of them cried but V in particular was a screamer (she still is, although she doesn't scream quite as much now)! She is what my pedi calls a "spirited" child!! Sometimes I don't know how my husband and I got through the first three months (the first two months being the worst). Now it is all kind of a blur. The evenings were particularly bad for some reason. I would be rocking both of them at the same time while they screamed at the top of their lungs. I would also have to do the night feedings by myself while my husband slept in the living room on the futon. For these feedings I would prop them up in boppies and feed them in bed - they would often both cry after the bottle (they had some reflux issues) so I would be holding them both at the same time trying desperately to get them to calm down and go back to sleep. I would often fall asleep with both of them in my arms. Madness!! You are not the only one who looks forward to baby sleepytime! But it DID get better and now we are having so much fun. They smile a lot, have started to laugh, cry a lot less (for instance, they used to wake up screaming for the bottle - now they wake up and babble at each other), STTN, interact with toys and stuff, etc. Hang in there, momma - :youcandoit:

 

Just add me to the list of "been there done that's, and SURVIVED it all!" :hug: I had a 7 yr old, 2.5 yr old and newborn twins, and looking back at the first 3 months I don't remember a single bit of it! Around 4-5 months, when they started STTN, and then 6 months when they started getting more mobile, more awake, and more fun...that's when things started getting easier! :hug:

 

At 3 months, like everyone else has said, it's still very difficult. Things got somewhat better at 4 months, and quite a bit better at 6 months. :hug:

 

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I had a barfy two year old all weekend and between that and fussy babies I was getting pretty close to my breaking point. Today is a better day and it's nice to hear that we may be getting close to an "easier" age and that others have been right where I am.