I don't know if I can do this anymore

We are dying over here. They are 5 weeks old and both cry/scream constantly. They went on from 7pm to 9:30 last night. DD is consolable; however, DS just screams and screams and nothing can soothe him. I am to start back at work next week and I work from home and I have a 19 year old nanny coming over for the mornings to "help". I can barely take care of them by myself, what is she going to be able to do?

I am sick and tired of not being able to help them. I know they say to put them down somewhere safe and step outside for a couple of minutes but I just can't do that. That might help me, but it doesn't help them. I love them so much but I just do not know how to make them happy.

DH has been so wonderful but even with him here all weekend and not at work, like during the week, we were both totally overwhelmed. We didn't get anything done around the house that needed to be done. How do you even eat anything for dinner? The only time we can really get anything to eat is when we go out and take the kids with us. They usually sleep for one long 3/4 hour sleep during the day and at least we can get away for a meal as they sleep well at the restaurant.

Is there something wrong with me or my babies that they are always so miserable? They eat about 22 ounces a day- DS will take 4oz. at a time but DD usually somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2.
DS seems to forget how to eat everytime we give him the bottle and ends up slobbering half of it on himself and screaming in frustration until he finally gets the hang of it.

Neither of them can poop or pass gas without grunting and moaning and screaming and crying.

We even have a night nanny that comes three nights a week from 11pm to 6am and we are still dying. I can't really sleep when she is here because I am afraid she is going to get frustrated or not be able to handle them both screaming. Plus, she likes them to eat separately because it is easier for her but then they are on separate schedules for me and I can't get anything done.

I don't think we are going to make it.

Amy

 

We even have a night nanny that comes three nights a week from 11pm to 6am and we are still dying. I can't really sleep when she is here because I am afraid she is going to get frustrated or not be able to handle them both screaming. Plus, she likes them to eat separately because it is easier for her but then they are on separate schedules for me and I can't get anything done.

1st off about the night nanny if u want them to eat together then that is wot she should do, its not about wot's easier for her, but easier for you.

Sounds like ur babies have colic or a gas/bowel thing going on, can u go back to the doctor, maybe they need to switch food (if its formula).

If u can afford it order out for food, we did that a lot when the girls were that young, or if anyone close by can bring u meals, u have to eat or u will go downhill fast too.

Our girls used to scream from 6-10pm we used to go walking around the neighbourhood for hours or just rock them even though it didn't really help, but sometimes it put them to sleep and then we would just leave them in their car seat in their bedroom to sleep.

Good luck to you it will get easier, hopefully some other people have advice for you. I really feel for you

amanda

 

It sounds like a gas/colic thing. Perhaps a change in formula if that's what you are using. Call the doctor and talk with them.

My girls screamed for two hours every night until about 3 months. Now it's just occasional. It WILL get better! I promise! Hang in there! You can do it!

Oh, and definitley get the night nanny to do the feedings at the same time. YOU are the boss so you do what's easiest for you!!

 

You will make it . . . I PROMISE! We all have felt that way at one point or another. It is very difficult to take care of two babies at once; so don't expect too much from yourself.

I'm glad that you are getting some sleep at night. I'm sure the night nurse has experience with multiples. Do not worry about when and how she feeds them. What I would do when they got off schedule at night is feed them both at the same time in the morning no matter if one last ate an hour ago. That way they were able to be on the same schedule the remainder of the day.

Do you think your little ones have some symptoms of reflux? Do they arch their backs during feeding? Are they spitting up at all? You may want to look up symptoms of reflux and talk to your ped about this. Mine had reflux with very little spitting up. We put them on meds and it helped.

I'm sorry that I don't have a lot of advice. I do want you to know that you will make it! I will be honest with you and say the first 6 months were the hardest of my life. I felt very incompetent. However, each day I knew I was getting closer to some type of relief. Just know that things will improve and you will look back on these times and say, "I don't know how, but we made it."

Good luck!

 

:hug99: x 1000! Sweetie, you are in the middle of the worst part. Colic is at it's worst between 6 and 12 weeks. I'm sorry!! I was about to lose it around 6 weeks too. Have you tried changing formulas? Sometimes that will work. Gas drops in every bottle? Swaddling? White noise? Swings, bouncies with vibration? Making sure that they are upright after a feeding?

You are paying that night nanny, so she needs to do it how you want it done, PERIOD!!

You will survive this, I promise, we have all been there! And please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault, you are a good mommy. :hug99:

Check out our Surviving Twinfants sticky at the top of FY, maybe you will find something that will help you, or at least find that you are not alone!!

 

I wasn't thinking colic or reflux when I was reading your post but more about the natural cycle of infants, especially since you mentioned that time in the evening. The K team started being extremely fussy at night time and it was making me crazy. It seemed like my good natured babies turned on me overnight. Luckily, very soon after it happened we had a ped appointment. One of the first things she asked was, so are they having their fussy time yet? I must have looked at her like she had 3 heads, there was a name for what they were doing???? She assured me this was a normal stage of development and until they figured out how to make other sounds, crying was their only means of communication no matter how they were feeling. I just had to figure out what worked and do whatever I could to get the time to pass and they would be cooing and gooing soon hopefully which would significantly decrease the amount of crying! I ended up calling that time baby love time because what was initially the most horrible feeling of crying turned into me sitting on the couch with two babies on my chest loving every minute of it! What started as the stressful time I ever remember turned into my most favorite time of the day. The key was finding what worked for them (which was alot of trial and error).

For us it was nothing more than a normal stage, of course you definitely want to rule out anything like reflux or an issue with the formula.

 

Don't worry - the screaming does end!

Dinners - get a crockpot and a good crockcpot recipe book.

There were only 2 things that helped us with the crying. Sitting and bouncing on an exercise ball, something about the motion they liked better than just us walking and bouncing, or standing near the CD player and singing loud to the CD while bouncing.

Your night nanny is paid to make your life easier - have her get them on the same schedule and SLEEP while she is there. I know it is hard because you are worried about the babies but having an overtired stressed out mom might just be making things more stressful.

Good luck - it will get better soon...promise!

 

sounds like a problem with the formula to me....like the pps said just try odd things and sometimes they'll work. Landons odd thing that calms him is signing You are my Landon at the top of our lungs....Brendens is the ABC Song and Itsy Bitsy Spider...Funny things may help lighten the mood sometimes but i would try changing the formula or talking to your dr. about it.

Good luck andwe've all pretty much gone through it and survived, you will too hon

 

You're probably tired of reading everyone saying that you will make it through, but you will! My kids used to be very slobbery when they ate. We switched nipples and they hardly spill a drop now. (We were using Dr. Brown's, but now use the Playtex bottles). Our son used to be very fussy and we realized it was gas. (We laugh now, because I went through a period thinking that Nate hated me because he would scream so much, even when I held him. Of course that's not true, but we all get delusional with lack of sleep!) Talk to your ped, but switching to Gentlease formula worked wonders for Nate. We also started putting Mylicon drops in every bottle. You have to give the drops at every feeding or they don't work. It was just easier to put it in with the formula, rather than try to feed it to them. A friend with triplets recommended getting earplugs when the night nanny was there so you can sleep. You have to get a night nanny that you completely trust or you won't sleep. Good luck to you! Lots of hugs! It does get better!

 

Oh, honey, I feel for you. I've been there and I too thought I'd die. Or maybe I wished I'd die? I know that sounds terrible but I used to find myself plotting my escape ("Now, maybe if I move to California until the boys are about 4 and my Mum and husband could care for them...and then I'd come back just in time for kindergarten...") and I was SERIOUS! People used to say to me, "It'll get better" and never believed them...but one day it did. One of my babies was extremely colicky. He world record for straight hours of crying (and when I say crying I mean screaming as if we were torturing him) was 6. That's right, 6 hours. But right now, at 16 weeks old, he's with his brother under a mobile laughing away while I'm in another room drinking tea and checking my e-mail. I got here! I can barely believe it, but I survived the newborn stage! And, believe it or not, you will too. Here are a few things that worked for us:

1. Swaddling. Tight swaddling. Really tight swaddling. If you don't know how to do a real swaddle (i.e. there's NO WAY a newborn can get his/her arms out) get the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block" - this DVD is full of tips for dealing with colick (and it sounds like you might have at least one case of it at your house). Some people say you shouldn't swaddle a baby more than 10 hours a day because it impedes the baby's ability to explore the world with his/her hands as he drifts off the sleep, in dreams, and when he's awake. WHO CARES! A screaming baby can't "explore the world" anyway!! Swaddle for sleep as many hours a day as you need to.

2. The swing. Our babies, once we calmed them, were placed in a swing. My colicky son slept in his swing every night for a week. He didn't become addicted to it - he now sleeps 11 hours a night, without waking, in his crib alone. If your babies need to swing, let them swing! If your babies need to sleep in their bouncy chairs or car seats, let them! Whatever it takes to get some sleep (for all of you).

3. The moby wrap (http://www.mobywrap.com/) - Evan, Mr. Colick, was in this wrap, tight against my chest, for hours every morning and afternoon and all evening (when we finally discovered it when he was about 6 weeks) - it was the only thing that calmed him. I think it made him feel as though he was back in utero (which, I'm convinced, is why he did so much crying - he wanted a 4th trimester). I used to dance around to sooth him, then once he was asleep I could do many tasks where the wrap (even go to the bathroom!).

4. White noise machine. I used to rock the babies beside the machine turned to HIGH and I still run it in their room as they sleep.

5. The bath. I used to bring the babies in a warm bath with me. For some reason it always stopped them crying.

Where do you live? I live in Toronto and we have an organization called TORONTO PARENTS OF MULTIPLE BIRTH ASSOCIATION (TPOMBA). I met other parents of twins in this group that told me reassuring thing and showed me proof that others had survived what seemed like an impossible experience.

I also want to mention that my boys also had terrible feeding issues. First with breast feeding (a nightmare) and then with bottle feeding/formula. Eventually, we got through it. At around 12 weeks their systems seemed to mature and the projectile vomiting, etc. stopped. Things aren't perfect yet but it's easier to feed them. I do feed them one after the other. When they're a little old they get more patient.

You can call me if you like - send me a PM. I'd love to help in any way I can. I hate to see people going through what I went through when my babies were small. FYI: It got better at 10.5 weeks exactly for us.

 

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!! I felt the same way as you. I had screamers (BOTH of them) every single night starting between 4-6 p.m. and lasting until 11-12p.m. My husband works second shift so I was completely alone from 2-12 with NO help. Ask for as much help as you can get. You will make it but it is very hard right now. I never EVER thought I would survive. My girls are now 10 months and I love it!! I do look back on those days and get nauseous but I am proof that it gets better!

 

Were they premature? Just wondering.
Anyway when we brought the boys home at 5 weeks the first couple weeks seemed to have gone smoothly then mom left and all **** broke lose. They did exactly what your babies are doing. In our case we couldnt change formula, they are on enfacare, so I put some dark Karo syrup (everyone swears by it and I did it with my oldest) and used gas drops. I bought the Walmart brand, a lot cheaper. It seemed to have cleared them up after a couple days and the crying didnt happen as much. We also ended up having to add cereal in the bottle because they began projectiling puke everywhere. (pediatrician recommended)
I hope something works for you!!

 

Hang in there, you're going through the toughest part! I was at my breaking point at 5 wks (only 3 wks ago!!!) but it got better and the screaming finally stopped. The toughest part for me was not knowing WHY they were screaming. I was using Dr. Brown's bottles, Gentlease formula, mylicon drops, the miracle blanket, white noise... everything! I had the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD, I read the Baby Whisperer, I was trying it all and my guys were still screaming! I think they were just going through their fussy stage (like Diane said) but we did finally come out on the other side. Two things that I think did help us - I started feeding them more and most importantly... I started helping them sleep more. I put them down to sleep after only being awake for 30 to 45 minutes at a time. I had to limit visitors and pretty much cut out any activities outside of the house so that they could get good naps. I think my boys were constantly overtired and were having a hard time going to sleep because of it. So once I figured out that they needed waaay more sleep than they were getting, things started getting better. Or it could be that they just got to the end of the screaming stage. Who knows?? But now, we're on a schedule and things are MUCH better - so hang in there. It really will get better soon, weeks 5 and 6 were the worst for me.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Carrie

*Also, let me add... the other thing that helped me through was getting help from other twin moms! They are the ONLY people who get it! Your family, your friends, even your husband may not understand how completely overwhelmed you are. But other twin moms are a wonderful source for tips and advice on how to get through this time, and for just listening to you vent. I don't think I would have survived those two weeks of **** if it weren't for this website and my Mothers of Multiples group!

 

You can do this!!! I agree that probably for me the the first 4 months were the hardest of my entire life!!! I ditto what everyone has said. For me we ate fast food, and frozen pre made bag meals. You just put it in a pot and heat it for 10 minutes and you have a real meal. The mylicon gas drops worked great for us. Yes there is such a thing as night time fussiness, bouncing on the exercise ball worked for ds. And don't worry if the nanny feeds them one at the time, I fed mine one at the time during the night (that's how I preferred it), and I was still able to feed that at the same during the day. You will survive!

 

:hug99:

First of all, you CAN do this! Yes it is difficult, but crying happens. Another twin mom said to me "They cry because that is the only way they communicate. It doesn't hurt them."

We made sure to rule out any medical reasons for all the screaming. At 3 weeks old my girls started zantac for reflux and mylicon drops (target brand- much cheaper!) for gas. When we brought them home from the hospital they were spitting up, screaming, arching their backs, and their tummies were hard. After they started the proper meds to help with their GI issues, there is much less screaming, but it still happens. Now its from being over tired or over stimulated or sometimes for no reason at all! Last night both started crying around 7pm for no apparently reason. DH was hanging out on the couch with M while A snoozed in her swing. M just started crying for no reason, it scared A so she started screaming. I was in the kitchen and came into the living room to see DH holding both of them while they screamed their heads off! Sometimes they just need to blow off some steam.

I know that is really not helpful for you to hear right now and believe me, I know how distressing it is to hear/see your babies crying. I just wanted to share and let you know that you aren't alone, that others have come out on the other side... I'm still in the midst of it (they are 16 weeks/10 weeks adjusted), but the stories from moms with older twins on this group really help me keep everything in perspective. Big hugs to you.

As for taking care of you and eating- Have people bring you food! We did this and when people couldn't bring us food, I broke down and paid the extra money to have groceries delivered to the house and made sure to get things that were very easy to cook. And when we do cook, we cook a lot and have the left overs all week. Make sure to take care of yourself because when you are stressed out with two crying babies its even more difficult when you are hungry and have low blood sugar. Good luck, hang in there, keep posting here. I will be thinking about you. -Leighann

 

I definitely can relate. I'm sure I posted a topic just like this when my girls were your twins' age. You will survive -- and luckily you won't exactly remember the depth of the horrors of it! :shok:

Random thoughts:

My girls also had reflux, gas, and major constipation issues. we started putting Karo syrup in their bottles for the constipation. They were on Zantac for the reflux, etc etc. And soy formula. FWIW.

Anyone who comes in can be very helpful -- because remember they probably had a good night's sleep, unlike you.

We usually ate with them strapped to us in their Baby Bjorns. Once or twice we put them in their carseats and put them on their bedroom floor and let them cry while we tried to enjoy a meal. At least once they both fell asleep there. We didn't "enjoy" many meals that First Year.

Things for us did get gradually better bit by bit starting around 12 weeks, so experiences do differ. For us the first three months was the worst!! (that's the good news)

I know exactly what you are going through and the bad news is, you just have to get through it. Breathe. I remember a poster when I was in the FY who used to wear earplugs. Whatever works to maintain your sanity.

 

You post brought back memories!!!! I know it is REALLY hard right now, but take comfort in knowing it doesn't stay like this forever...it gets lots easier.

I agree with the formula suggestions - any chance of switching? We switched my James to Enfamil's Gentlease with expressed breastmilk and it seemed to help. We also were big believers in Mylicon, which helped only a little. We still got those screams and cries with every toot and poop.

Hang in there...it gets easier!

 

I dont have much to add since the pp's said it all perfectly. Try really loud music. We noticed that if we would hum or put loud lullabys on (who thought we would ever be rocking out to lullaby music) or do anything louder than their cry, it sometimes stopped them.

Reading these kinds of posts truly brings tears to my eyes because I remember those days all too well. When people ask how it is, I tell them the beginning months were the worst months of my life and it seemed like a year.

In a few months, you will realize how truly blessed you are to have twins. What they are doing to you now is so so worth it in a few months from now.

Keep coming here for support. :hug99:

 

I almost forgot..the vacuum cleaner always seemed to quiet my girls down and seems to work with the boys too. Also they like the doshwasher sound, didnt have that luxury with the girls so dont know if its a coincidence or not lol.

 

Oh, hon! I am so sorry it's been this rough. Even babies who aren't colicky have "witching hours" in the evening....

You've gotten some great advice from these ladies.

Mine are only 3 weeks today, so I am holding my breath to see if we will have screamers, too. But, here is what we do in the interim --

-- Lots of sleep. We leave the babies in the nursery ALL day -- moving them around the house is too stimulating right now. They basically wake to eat and get a diaper change, watch the mobile, hear a lullaby, and then get put back down in the crib for a nap until the next feeding.

-- A REALLY tight swaddle, as a PP mentioned. We use Miracle Blankets.

-- A heartbeat CD playing all the time. We use the one sold on the Miracle Blanket website. The one marketed by Happiest Baby on the Block is good, too.

-- Dr. Brown's bottles. I hate using them, because they aren't the "safe" plastic -- that's another post -- but they work the best for cutting out gas.

-- Baby's Bliss Gripe Water. Great stuff -- you can get it at Whole Foods, and also drugstore.com. I prefer Woodward's Gripe Water, but it's hard to find in the U.S.

-- Many PP's mentioned switching formulas....I hesitate to even mention this, because I so don't want to add to your stress level, but are you still pumping for them? I ask because I was supplementing with Neosure until a few days ago -- just wasn't making enough milk for both -- but have finally gotten my supply up to 100%, so both of mine are getting all EBM in bottles -- and I've noticed they are a lot less gassy without even the little bit of formula added in. (They still don't latch, so I can't BF them directly yet.)



I'm sure you've tried everything else? Swings? Pacis? Vibrating bouncies? White noise?

Many hugs to you....

 

You poor thing. Those evening hours are the WORST! It is so difficult to watch your baby screaming & not be able to do anything to help. I agree with pp's we tried music, vacuum cleaner, washing machine (you can put their carseat right on top while it is running), sometime just taking them outside for a few minutes would help & it's summer now so maybe a quick walk in the stroller? The first months are so difficult & then it really will get better and the torture is so worth it in the long run. I know it doesn't help much right now but :hug99: .

 

I am just going to reinforce what many PP have already told you but, when you are feeling desperate and at your wits end I found all the reconfirming posts helped my sanity.

1. The night nanny needs to follow your direction and not what she wants. She is a paid employee and your the boss. PERIOD.

2. Eating......we still have indigestion because we feel like we have to scarf dinner down some nights. But, at your wee ones age we had friends bringing dinner, mom was staying with us and cooking, ordering out.

3. Constant crying....we went through that phase with our Noah, it was gas. We had formula switched to Enfamil GentleEase and still mixed in EBM. Changed to Dr. Brown's bottles. That was all a life saver for him and us.

4. Gripe water was also a natural solution to helping his gas issues.

5. Vacuuming believe it or not would soothe the boys and in turn get the floors clean.

6. Swings also were a big help for us.

7. Finally, remember this to shall pass. And what does not kill us makes us stronger. Mothers of Multiples have a hard job but, in the end when they are able to do more for themselves and you are less sleep deprived (notice I did not say totally sleeping because I do not think you are ever fully rested as a twin mom) you will be doing better.

Hang in there.

 

I could have written your post a few months back...

We had absolutely no help, in addition to a 2 year old and the first month nearly sent me into nervous breakdownville.

DD came home with a nasty cold, gave it to me, everyone, the twins, it was awful.

They screamed constantly, would not sleep, wanted to be held, were severely gassy, spit up constantly, wanted to eat every 2 hours - I thought I was going to lose my mind. I regretted ever getting pregnant, cursed the universe for giving me twins, felt profound guilt for bringing more babies into our family, taking attention away from our daughter...I was just a mess. I had a pretty horrible case of PPD, on top of everything else.

Finally, pushed to the absolute edge, sick as a dog and severely sleep deprived, I was hospitalized with severe pneumonia for 10 long days.

I wasn't sure how DH was going to handle them alone, but somehow he did (along with some help from family).

I got home from the hospital weak and totally freaked out to return to the madness.

Slowly, they started to become more engaged, began smiling, sleeping in longer stretches at night, becoming a bit more predictable.

Fast forward to now, they are 3.5 months old and they are regularly going to bed at 8 pm and sleeping thru until 5 or 6 am.

Trust me, a few months ago, I *never* thought we would get to this point.

I cannot emphasize it enough, hang in there, it *will* get better. I know that things seem dark right now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you.

One book that really helped me with my daughter and also with the twins is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. My DD slept thru at around 9 weeks and still does to this day. The twins were a bit more difficult to get on a schedule, but we are finally starting to get there. Also, as PP mentioned, TIGHT swaddling is key. My boys don't sleep well at all unless they are swaddled tightly. We usually leave the fan on when they are sleeping as it seems the white noise helps them sleep. We tried a few different formulas to ease their gassiness and reflux, but nothing really helped. Fortunately, they seem to be outgrowing it as their digestive systems mature.

Please know that we have all been there (are still there at times) and you are not alone in how you are feeling. It's totally normal and human.

 

You WILL survive. I don't know how we did it either, it was pretty brutal until around 3 months and each day it's gotten so much better. Now it's just loads of fun.

Just accept it will be hard, but it will get better.

As far as the night nurse, do what you need to do to sleep. We tried and tried to get ours on a schedule, guess it what, it didn't happen until they were 5 months old! Every day was different.

Just do what you need to do to make your life easier.

Hang in there,
Miriam

 

I remember how terrible the first couple of months were!
Hold on! it gets so much better soon. i think you've gotten lots of good advise. i didn't read through all the posts though so I hope I'm not repeating too much.
I found that if i got them sleeping at about 6pm then things were much better. their nighttime crying was non stop from 9 to 12 was because they were overtired. maybe you could try to get them to nap / sleep better/ more? as soon as we got them sleeping more everything got much easier.
we used swaddling in miracle blankets, sound machines and rocking but really the most important thing was getting them to sleep.
we used gripe water but maybe you can talk to your pedi? it sounds like something might be bothering them if it is so difficult for them to poop.
when I felt it was getting to be too much for me a listened to music, had the tv or talk radio playing in the background or just cried...
we've all been there and it does get better.
do you get any time on your own? if not do you get out of the house with the babies? my life got so much better when I started taking them out. even a drive in the car made me feel better.
please tell the night nurse what you want her to do. give her permission to wake you if she feels overwhelmed and get some sleep. i told dh that no matter what time or how tired i was if he was feeling overwhelmed by the babies that it's ok to wake me and let me take over. i think giving someone permission to disturb you gives them a way to deal with things if overwhelmed and also you feel safer to sleep. same goes with the nanny- let her know if she can't cope to call you and you will be there as quickly as possible.
keep in mind though that the nanny or the nurse have a very different tolerance level than you do because they go home to a quiet house, they sleep and eat as much as they want to so they sometimes can be more patient than a sleep deprived tired mommy.
if you have time to cook cook in big batches and freeze some for another day. the house doesn't need to sparkle. maybe for now you can lower your expectations.
be kind to yourself you're doing a great job. :hug99: :hug99:

 

I feel your pain!! A & A were the same way - One of mine has reflux and the other does not - but they both cried and cried and so did I!!! it does get better! Now my girls are going through this separation anxiety thing which the boys never did because I am at home with them all the time - they ONLY want me!! they smile and giggle at daddy - but he better not try to take them from me!! I'm thinkin that if reflux is not the issue - it is probably a phase - the first of many!! some good and some not so good! and also at 5 weeks after A & A I still felt like I had been hit by a train - still very tired and weak from the c-section - so that is probably part of your issue too - it has only been 5 short weeks (even though it may seem
like an eternity at times). YOU WILL SURVIVE

:hug99: , HEATHER

 

We have ALL been there! There isn't much to add to pp, but I swear by Gripe Water, gassy drops (Mylicon or anyother brand) and swings! Good luck!

 

Honestly the first 3 months are absolutely awful. Our boys had colic and reflux and I would prefer to pretend that the month of December just never happened. Actually the first 6 months for us were hard, but it has gotten so much better - really!

The boys would be up from 11 tp 3 or 10 to 2 or something like that every single night screaming. The only thing that helped at all was to bounce them VERY vigorously on a yoga ball with them swaddled as tightly as possible. I can't say that bouncing for 3 or 4 hours straight was enjoyable (or that it really did anything for me physically which was a bummer because it was the closest thing to exercise that I was getting). Reflux tends to get worse and then hit some kind of all time high and then taper off around 4 months or so (I can't totally remember, like I said, December never happened here). We ended up with the boys on medicine and it saved our lives. The colic eventually passed. Then they started smiling at us. And cooing. And laughing. And becoming little people that are very engaging.

I will say when DH had a long weekend off in December it was the first time he was around the boys for any length of time (and the weather was really bad so we were all trapped together in our tiny house) since he didn't get paternity leave when they were born (long story). After 3 days of all babies all day he turned to me and said that this wasn't much of a vacation. I replied that this was my daily life. He told me my life sucked. Thanks. Thanks a lot!

I didn't think I would make it through it all and occasionally I still feel that way, but it really has gotten so much better - none of us would lie to you!

Gas is the universal scourge of babies - pure evil I think. Mylicon and Gripe water helped as did baby tummy massage and putting them on their backs and "bicycling" their legs. And time for their little intestines to grow and be able to handle more. We also went through an insane number of formulas for one of the boys and finally got them both on Gentlease. But I think just them growing and their insides maturing really did help the most - sorry as there is nothing you can do for that but wait.

Get a crockpot, make a big amount of food when you have someone around to watch them and freeze it. Get the menus of as many places that deliver food as possible. Stock up on snacks for yourself (nuts, fruit, etc.). I even ended up getting a bread machine so that I could throw in the ingredients and a few hours later the house had the comforting smell of just baked bread (and I only had to do 5 minutes of work). Eventually your life will return to some kind of balance, but take it easy on yourself and make things as easy as possible right now! Be gentle to yourself. Each day will come and go and you will survive, I promise.

 

Oh, I forgot - we had night help too and I also was very nervous and couldn't sleep but finally realized that I HAD to, so I bought earplugs at the drugstore and would turn the fan on in our room and it really did help. I was never very good at feeding the boys at the same time, but would feed them one right after another so they were only 15 minutes apart and that was a doable schedule. Of course, if they ever sensed that I was alone for the day with them then they would insist on eating at the same time all day.

Could you at the very least get your night nurse to feed them one right after the other so that they are at least on a very close schedule? Like people said, you are paying for the help so it should be done the way you want it to be done.

 

Lots of hugs for you. You'll make it. It doesn't feel like it when everything' closing in around you, but you will.

Definitely look into changing formula or changing your diet if you're nursing or pumping at all. My twins ended up with both milk AND soy sensitivities (they were on soy formula mostly when my milk supply bottomed out). If I knew then what I know now I would have had them on a hypoallregenic formula. With my now-4 month old (yes, I did this again, but my twins are 5 now LOL) when I needed to supplement for a few weeks I used Nutramagen and he did well with it.

I know it is hard to see past the net hour, the next day, etc., but there will come a time - slowly - that you feel better and have some TIME to think and maybe even do someting for yourself.