I couldn't be more annoyed...

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by mrsfussypants, May 11, 2007.

  1. mrsfussypants

    mrsfussypants Well-Known Member

    So, my best friend growing up is here staying with us for 5 days. She told me she wanted to come out and help with the babies ( even though I initially thought it was going to be more a pain than a help). Well, she got here yesterday and informed me that while she is here she has 3 dates lined up, a job interview and wants to go house-hunting. Uh, how is that helping me? Last night my DH had school, so he's gone from 5-10, and it's a time when I could really use help with getting my toddler ready for bed while juggling the twins....but she went on a date. Not only did she go on a date--she brought him back to the house to watch a movie!!! My DH and I were so mad. We don't know this guy...and we certainly don't want him in our house after hours--we've got kids in the house for crying out loud! This morning she was upstairs for awhile, but then went downstairs to take a nap (I guess she's tired from her late night--poor baby. I was up feeding babies all night and still got up with my son at 6:30). I haven't seen her in hours.

    What should I do? How do I handle this without making the rest of her stay awkward and horrible? I know something has to be said..but how to you tactfully say, "I thought you were here to help me, not use my house as a base of operations for your own agenda." My little baby girl has a dr.'s appt. today (I think she has pink-eye) and I don't even know if I can ask her to watch the other 2 kids while I take her...or if I should Schlep all three kids to the Dr. ARGGGHHHHHH! To top it off, my FIL is coming to town tonight (we have a really bad relationship with him...he's a total jerk) and we have to spend the weekend with him as well. I just want everyone to GO AWAY!

    Ok, I think I'm done venting. Thanks for listening...and please please please give me some advice!!

    Reyna
     
  2. first_time_mommy_2_be_twins

    first_time_mommy_2_be_twins Well-Known Member

    Okay so I can understand having a Job interview and wanting to go look at houses if she is planning on moving to the area. But why would she say she wanted to help you with the babies if she knew that that was not her intention. As for having a guy that you and DH do not know coming over to watch a movie in your home UMM No that wouldn't fly with me. You have small children in the house and for a stranger to be in your house after your children are in bed or getting ready for bed is not a good idea in my opinion. I realize that it has already been done and there is nothing you can do about it now but I would make it very clear that there are to be no visitors in your home without your consent first. That seems very rude to invite someone back to a house that you are visiting without first confirming with the owner that it is okay.

    As for whether to pack all of the kids up and take them with you or leave them with her I can't really answer since I dont know enough about her to determine that. If she were hung over in my basement then I would just pack my kids up and take them with me.

    This may sound mean to some people but I would request that if she is not going to help you out like she said was the reason for her visit then to please leave. It sounds like she has no respect for your home and therfore I wouldn't want her to stay. Not that it is her responsibility to take care of your children but if she said she would and that is why you were allowing her to stay with you then I believe that is what she should be doing not going out on late night dates and bringing men back to your home.
     
  3. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    Reyna...

    All I can say is HOW RUDE! Really, your friend is being very selfish, if you ask me. I am sorry you are under so much stress! As if a toddler and newborn twins isn't enough! :hug99: I'm sorry!
     
  4. Her Royal Jennyness

    Her Royal Jennyness Well-Known Member

    If you're anything like me you avoid confrontation but, bringing strangers to your house is not cool at all. I would talk to her about that for sure, just because it's really not safe. Maybe it's just me, but she doesn't seem like she's being much of a friend. I'm sure it's too late by now, but you could always ask her if she wants to watch the kids, or help you take them to the doctor. You never know - she may feel like helping.

    But after her stay I'd probably not invite her back, just because she's being very inconsiderate at the least. I'm sorry your friend is letting you down. :hug99: You just aren't having a lot of luck with friends lately are you?
     
  5. veggiehead

    veggiehead Well-Known Member

    I would definitely not invite her back! That is very rude to bring a strange man to your house without asking your permission first. That is very disrespectful.

    I had a "friend" who came to visit with her friend who was from Greece when I was 8 month pregnant...well, they used me as a taxi service and spoke in Greek the whole time....and, I don't speak Greek...well, needless to say I have not talked with her since and I expressed myself when she was here. I simply said that I am tired and I do not want to be a cab service and a hotel for she and her friend. She understood. She has tried to contact me since, but I have kept my distance.

    The reason I am blabbing about my story is to let you know that it is ok not to contact her anymore. You deserve to have GREAT ENERGY in your life and she sounds like bad energy, IMHO. Some people just will never get it...

    jen
     
  6. mrsfussypants

    mrsfussypants Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone. I did have a talk with her, and she was very receptive to what I was saying. I really think she was oblivious about the guy thing, but could definitely see why it freaked me out. She actually cancelled her next date to watch 2 of the kids while we had Dr.'s appts.... so I was glad for that. It seems like in her case the fact that she is single, doesn't have kids makes her kind of clueless in terms of what is helpful or not. I definitely won't invite her back to "help". I'm not sure why I have such lame friends lately! Hopefully this is the last of the annoying friend drama.....who needs it!?

    Reyna
     
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