i cant possibly hold them all the time

Let me preface this by stating that I absolutely love and adore my girls...however...

They need to be held ALL the time! They are getting bored with their swings and such, yet our little one,Eve, hates tummy time so even trying to play with her for tummy time isn't a treat. I force it on her but she ain't havin' it! I don't know what to do. I've tried letting them cry and fuss it out but they're actually arching-the-back screaming so I can't bring myself to do it unless I have no choice (i.e., laundry time-which is frequent lol).

Do I just not know how to entertain properly? I've gotten so desperate that I've even resorted to trying the television but I haven't been able to find anything that works. I've been known to even take them into the bathroom with me while holding them just so I don't have to hear the pathetic wails.

They are horrible nappers and don't go to bed well at night but will stay down for the night after about a 2 hour ritual of rocking and replacing Lia's binky (Eve won't use one due to her strong gag reflex).

I will finish my nursing degree this fall after returning to school next week. I am desperate for a free hand but don't know how to get one. Am I being unrealistic, I think I would feel better if someone told me that so I at least wouldn't try so hard, but I am exhausted! I have two older kids, one of whom is beginning Kindergarten on the same day I go back to school. They are starting to show some frustration as well due to my lack of attention to them.

Do o just let them CIO in a sense? Like I said, they are extremely dramatic about it, and they immediately calm down when I pick them up. Am I being played???

I do love them, though

 

Lots of typos-UGH! I'm using my phone

 

Hmmm....I don't think you are being played as such, they don't really understand that yet, but they may just have a very strong attachment to you! :wub: They only thing I can think of is to try wearing them in a sling or snugli.

Mine went through a period where they were too little to "play" by themselves but I couldn't carry them either. I just rotated them through the house. Into my bedroom on the bed while I fold clothes (rarely!! :lol, bouncy seats in the living room, high chairs in the kitchen, floortime in the living room...etc. I just keep rotating when they get fussy.

:hug: It will get better as they get older and can occupy themselves more! It's just surviving this stage that's rough!!

 

I agree, they are probably too little to play you just yet, although that's coming, as you well know! LOL
Swaddling and rocking mine in their bouncers (while swaddled) worked for mine to get them to nap. Yours were born early so they are technically still newborns and need that extra holding. Too bad there is only one of you and two of them. I just sat there all hours of the day just rocking them in their bouncers with their arms swaddled. Worked for all 3 of mine actually. And now it's easier because they can entertain themselves for some time on the floor and with toys, and they can also nap in their cribs with no help from me. I did Ferber at 6 months to get them to sleep for 11-12 hours at night and nap 2-3 times a day.

 

I second the sling idea. Once in the sling my lo's would calm down and allow me two free hands to do other things (like hold the second baby!). I also tried rotating them to different "centers" when they got bored (swing, swaddling, tummy time, looking out the window in the bouncy). They may still be too young for tv but you could try music (cd's or the radio). Also, if your lo's do not like tummy time, you could try increasing it in little increments (one minute more every couple of days or so). For tummy time activities, I would get on the floor and shake a rattle or perform a puppet routine with a stuffed animal toy. We had an activity mat as well that seemed to work for a little of the tummy time routine. GL! It really does get easier.

 

I don't know if you've tried, but we also found something that would work for us.

If they cried in the swing, then we'd console them, and put them back in the swing, or move them to the bouncy. If they cried again, we'd do it again. Over and over, until they just give up on crying because they know that once they calm down, they'll be right back in the swing or bouncy or whatever again. Basically, we would hold out longer than they would, so they gave up on crying. Kind of like CIO, but consoling them, so you never actually let them cry.

It sounds like alot of work, but, really, doing that consistently for 1 - 2 days is so much better than holding them all the time for months!! And, at least with ours, once they realized the swing/bouncy/playmat/bed wasn't so bad, they got used to it and were fine.

Hope this makes sense.

 

Another vote for the sling :good: I have 2 slings, I will wear whichever one is fussy when he/she falls asleep I put baby, sling and all down (usually into a nursing pillow). with 2 slings I can still wear the other one if he/she fusses too.

Some of their best naps are when I swaddle them and lay them on their sides in a nursing pillow (I lay a blanket over the pillow so they don't sink in.

It sounds like you have a VERY full plate
hope you can find something that works for you

 

My daughter has always been very content and happy to play on her own. My son on the other hand has always been my "hold me all the time" baby. I had to carry him in a sling until about 7.5 months when he finally started enjoying playing in the floor with toys. This was when he began to sit up on his own and figured out crawling...he does love playing in the floor alot more now with his sister but there are still points in the day that he is attached to my hip while I conquer tasks around the house.

He has outgrown his sling that I had specially made. It has a ribbon with beads on the side that is a great teether toy. I have two slings. If you would like, PM me your address & I can send you one of mine. They are just sitting in their closet not being used! I am sure the sling will help out. My son would fall asleep in it and then I would lay him down carefully into his crib! When they get bigger you can also use it to wear & support them on your hip, thats what I do now. He is too big to hold in a cradle hold now.

 

I had two that wanted to be held at that age as well. I second the vote for slings & snugglies, it was the only way I could get free hands for a couple of months there. Things got much better once they were able to sit up & entertain themselves a bit. Hang in there! :hug:

 

Is there anyway you could get someone in there to hold a baby for you every once in a while? Maybe a friend or a teenager? We used slings, too. My babies were not big fans of swings and bouncy seats. They really wanted to be held.

It will get better when they can sit and play by themselves. For us, that was at 7 months. At 6 months, the fussiness got quite a bit better. Hang in there!

 

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions. It sounds like a sling might be the best idea. I'll also try to pick up/console/put down method, too. My mother hired a mother's helper for me (I love her ) who can come for a day or two for a few hours, but that is so I can study.

Thanks again

 

I'm a little late to the game, but I wanted to send you some hugs! You are truly an amazing mom of 4 to be going back to school too! In a few short weeks, you'll be able to use a Bumbo and they can play more in the exersaucer. Then you'll be able to do rotations around the house and family room. That will help a lot. I kept Jake in a Snugli for a long time. I even had to do it at 11 months! He has always been my clingy baby. I can't imagine it with two clingy ones! Hang in there!

 

just wanetd to send some love your way. I feel for you. I can actually feel your frustration. I am in the same boat. and I was LOSING my mind. I finally had to hire help. I have a woman that comes a few times a week to help me during the day for 6 hrs. It helps... but believe it or not. I am still frustrated and exhausted. but at least i am not crying everyday. I know its an expense, but we are doing it for 4 weeks. If they haven't gotten any better, then we are doing it an extra 4 weeks. then after that I am on my own. We will get help here and there sparatically. So that is what I suggest to you. HIRE HELP. ITS WORTH IT. Get family to help. anyone!

And I can't believe you are going back to school and you have other children! WOW. You are amazing! Really. You should be proud of yourself.

PS... were your girls always needing to be held? or is this something new?

 

I feel for you! Two clingy ones! My Libbey is killing me here I can't imagine them BOTH being that way. Of course my 4 year old is clingy too so poor Josie watches while her sibling use me as a soother.

 

My DS was very fussy when he was a newborn. It felt like he cried all the time and it drove me batty. He was okay for a while in the bouncer as long as I kept it moving. Once it stopped moving, he would wail again. I would use one foot to rock him while I would do something else with my free hands. Other baby, computer, etc. We hired help two afternoons a week. I lived for those days when she would come and help with the babies. I also had a girlfriend who would come over on her lunch hour once a week and feed a baby. He definitely mellowed out more around 5/6 months. By the time he was crawling, he was much happier. Right now, he's my mellow one. Now my DD is the high maintenance one, and she used to be "easy." Good luck. It's such a hard time and it takes so much energy. Good luck with your studies.

 

My boys are about the same age.....and they are going through the same stage. They LOVE to be held. I find myself always wearing around the Baby Bjorn with one of them in it....whoever was fussing @ the time. It helps...since I have a free hand. I told my husband that I'm going to get myself a Backpack carrier - so I can have 1 baby in the Bjorn & 1 on my back. LOL - Think I'll add some Massages to that request too! I have 2 younger daughters- ages 4 & 7--that require my attention too. I do let them fuss for a bit before I rush to pick them up or I'll get them set up where they can see everything we are doing in their bouncy seats, give them some fun crinkley, teething toys & they will be content for awhile like that too!