I can't keep this up!

Can you share your experiences with CIO or other sleep training options?

I'm feeling at my wit's end. My boys (9 months, 8 mo. adj), who WERE sleeping 8-9 hours before waking up to eat (6:30pm - 3:30am) suddenly are waking up off and on all night - and then often times either taking 45 min. of me soothing them back to sleep or waking up every time I lay them down. I feel like I'm going crazy in the middle of the night.

Last night (which is how the last 2 weeks have been) looked like this:

7:00 Bed

9:00 Finley wakes up crying - I patted him back to sleep

10:30 Finley wakes up crying - won't go back to sleep, I rock him back to sleep

11:00 Sullivan wakes up crying - I cannot get him back to sleep, bring him to our bed as I have to drive 4 hours today and didn't want to be totally exhausted driving

1:30 Finley wakes up - I feed him - and he's back asleep

2:00 Sullivan wakes up - I feed him - rock him, pat him - finally back asleep

4:55 Finley wakes up - I bring him in our bed

5:15 Sullivan wakes up, I let him cry for awhile until I can lay Finley down

6:15 Both are awake again

I don't know what is going on with them - but I'm exhausted and truthfully though by 9 months (8 mo. adj) - they'd be doing better than this. I don't mind waking up 1xnight or so - not a big deal but this 3-4 hours of total sleep a night is killing me.

I'm not crazy about doing CIO - but not opposed to it either. I would just like to hear others' experiences with both CIO and other options.

Thank you so much!

 

When a drastic change in sleeping patterns happens in my experience it is teething or an illness coming on. If they already have teeth, they could be getting more. My girls' teeth came in four at a time and it was literally a nightmare everytime they started teething. I hope you figure it out.

 

I would agree about being sick or teething - except that you said this has lasted 2 weeks. That's too long, IMO.

I would definitely let them CIO when they wake up at 9 and 10 pm - you are probably still awake at this time. It's easier for me to let mine CIO when I'm not trying to sleep. I would just shut their bedroom door and leave it shut (don't go in there) until you go to bed. When you go to bed open the door. That's what I do.

 

we haven't CIOed, so I can't help you much there. But here are just a few brainstorming questions...

How is their nap sleep? Is it possible that they're overtired before they go to bed?

What about a growth spurt--are they pretty full when they go to bed? Have they always needed a feed in the middle of the night? What about waking the other up when you feed the first, so you're not having to get up twice?

Have you tried any attachment objects, a little blanket, a soft toy? What about white noise or a comforting CD as they go to bed?

Are they sleeping in the same crib (ours still do, but it seems like that may be getting to be an issue)? Could they be waking each other up? OR have they been newly separated (my DS can't sleep without my DD, it's kind of sweet and pathetic all at the same time, LOL!)?

 

I am so sorry you are having a rough time, I would never be able to survive on that amount of sleep, not sure how you have made it 2 wks!! I agree with pp, because its been 2 wks I am guessing it is not illness (but if you think something is wrong please call your dr). I would say to let them CIO at the times when they are not hungry, it really is your choice if you want to pat, shush and rock the babies to sleep, but it sounds like they are coming to expect that every time they wake up, and it is literally wearing you down.

I just recently did CIO, but it was only for night feedings, mine did not wake up and need help getting back to sleep, but it worked well for me to get rid of the 1-2 night feedings they were still taking at 8months. I did take a harsher approach tho, I closed our bedroom door, closed the babies bedroom door and turned on our bathroom fan, and went to bed! So I didn't hear a thing, now I did get up a few times and didn't hear crying so I went and checked on the babies and they were fine. I figured I didn't want to sit there and listen to the babies crying otherwise I would be too tempted to just feed them or pick them up. My suggestion is like pp said don't sit there and listen to the crying. and they may not cry as long as you think! And, besides they need the long stretches of sleep just like you do, you are really just helping them become good sleepers - imho.

 

sorry to sound dumb but what is CIO

 

We just recenty have tried CIO after talking w/our Pediatrician. Our babies are almost 7 months old and have gone through their good sleep/bad sleep stages. Like you, it wasn't my first choice, but it has worked so much better for us than waking up every few hours and rocking, holding, putting passies back in, etc.. It was soooo hard for me to do it the first couple of nights, but really the crying has gotten less (no crying most nights and if they do, just a few minutes)and they have learned to self sooth and are sleeping completely through the night from 8pm to 7am. As you know every Pediatrician is different but he gave me permission (for whatever reason, I felt I needed it) to let them cry for 1/2 hour and advised it really would not harm them. I am so much happier during the day now taking care of them and they are happier too because they're sleeping better. It has also helped w/getting them on the same schedule/routine rather then me constantly feeding one putting one down, another waking upt etc. Good Luck!!!

 

Oh, by the way - to "Brown eyed girl" CIO is "crying it out"

 

oh got you...Thanks

 

QUOTE(joannabug @ Oct 8 2008, 08:36 AM) [snapback]1017187[/snapback]
we haven't CIOed, so I can't help you much there. But here are just a few brainstorming questions...

How is their nap sleep? Is it possible that they're overtired before they go to bed?

What about a growth spurt--are they pretty full when they go to bed? Have they always needed a feed in the middle of the night? What about waking the other up when you feed the first, so you're not having to get up twice?

Have you tried any attachment objects, a little blanket, a soft toy? What about white noise or a comforting CD as they go to bed?

Are they sleeping in the same crib (ours still do, but it seems like that may be getting to be an issue)? Could they be waking each other up? OR have they been newly separated (my DS can't sleep without my DD, it's kind of sweet and pathetic all at the same time, LOL!)?



Great questions...

They nap beautifully - 3 naps/day. First one is about 45 mins, 2nd one is about 1.5 hours, and the 3rd one is about 30 minutes.

The get a bottle of EBM right before bed - I don't think it is a growth spurt as they have always gotten up once to eat each night. I used to wake one up when the other woke up but I found it to cause more problems - however this was back when they occasionally (a few times/week) sleep until 5:00 a.m..

They each have a lovey (small blankey with an animal head on it) that they LOVE. They cuddle with it, rub it on their faces, etc. They also have a white noise machine in their room as well as a fan on low speed.

They sleep in different cribs and have for about 6 months now.

I wish that it was one of these things! I sooo want to figure this out. I'm feeling half-crazy all day long - and on the verge of tears all of the time. Sleep deprivation is NO FUN!

 

this link (and ultimately book) helped me with our 4 mo regression - not that it helped them sleep better, but it at least seemed to explain it. It talks about the phases that occur around 4 & 8 mos that really affect sleep big time. It certainly did in our case. They went from STTN to doing exactly what you described for about 3 weeks. Now they're still not as good as they were before, but it's much improved. I was hoping it wouldn't return at 8 mos, but I'm hearing it affecting more and more people lately, so I'm not looking forward to it!

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html

 

My girls only do this if they are sick or teething. Have you tried some tylenol or motrin when they wake up? Are they drinking a lot at night?

FWIW, we've done CIO after they get their teeth or get over their cold, etc. I HATE it and have been known to stare at the clock the entire time. Its amazing how 5 minutes of crying seems like hours. Usually they are asleep after 10 minutes. Very rarely does it go on longer than that assuming they aren't sick, wet, dirty, hungry, in pain. If it does go longer than 10 minutes we go in and check on them to make sure there is none of the above. After a couple days we are back to our sleep routine where they go to sleep at night without any tears and wake up happy. GL and hang in there.

 

QUOTE(DeniseT @ Oct 8 2008, 09:55 AM) [snapback]1017323[/snapback]
this link (and ultimately book) helped me with our 4 mo regression - not that it helped them sleep better, but it at least seemed to explain it. It talks about the phases that occur around 4 & 8 mos that really affect sleep big time. It certainly did in our case. They went from STTN to doing exactly what you described for about 3 weeks. Now they're still not as good as they were before, but it's much improved. I was hoping it wouldn't return at 8 mos, but I'm hearing it affecting more and more people lately, so I'm not looking forward to it!

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html


This link wouldn't open for me. Can I go to the website and search for sleep regression?

Thanks so much!

 

I have a suggestion for you - read the reviews for "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" on Amazon. These parents have mostly tried "CIO" and share their experiences...

[post="http://www.amazon.com/review/product/0743201639/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_summary?_encoding=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending"]Customer Reviews[/post]

Also, this site is a good one - it breaks down how Ferber works...
[post="http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc"]Ferber Method Demystified[/post]

We did the Ferber Method with my older DD, and it worked beautifully. I'm a big fan. Dr. Ferber knows his stuff.

 

QUOTE(mama23boys @ Oct 8 2008, 11:00 AM) [snapback]1017334[/snapback]
This link wouldn't open for me. Can I go to the website and search for sleep regression?

Thanks so much!



That might work. I did update the link, but it looks like you tried if after I changed it? I'm on this awful computer where everytime I open another site on another tab it shuts down. I finally had to write the link down and type it out myself, instead of pasting it in. The book they are referring to is called The Wonder Weeks, so you can try searching for that too.

 

QUOTE(mama23boys @ Oct 8 2008, 10:51 AM) [snapback]1017313[/snapback]
Great questions...

They nap beautifully - 3 naps/day. First one is about 45 mins, 2nd one is about 1.5 hours, and the 3rd one is about 30 minutes.

The get a bottle of EBM right before bed - I don't think it is a growth spurt as they have always gotten up once to eat each night. I used to wake one up when the other woke up but I found it to cause more problems - however this was back when they occasionally (a few times/week) sleep until 5:00 a.m..

They each have a lovey (small blankey with an animal head on it) that they LOVE. They cuddle with it, rub it on their faces, etc. They also have a white noise machine in their room as well as a fan on low speed.

They sleep in different cribs and have for about 6 months now.

I wish that it was one of these things! I sooo want to figure this out. I'm feeling half-crazy all day long - and on the verge of tears all of the time. Sleep deprivation is NO FUN!


It sounds like you're doing great as far as creating good sleep habits, wtg mama!

Just a quick thought, I haven't read all of the more recent responses. How late is their latest nap? I think ours dropped their third nap by the time they were 6 months, sort of condensing the sleep into two longer naps.

 

I'm not much help... I would probably do CIO too... I'm guessing after this time they pretty much expect you to come in as soon as they cry and maybe to take them to bed with you, so it's just a habit for them.

The last nap might be an issue too... maybe they're not tired, maybe they're too tired... I read somewhere that they can only get restorative sleep if it lasts 45 minutes... Any way you could try to push the first nap a bit, so they sleep longer, then push the second nap also so they don't need a third?

 

We tried CIO at 8 months because it was taking to long at night to rock them to sleep and J would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and need rocking. The first night they cried for 45 minutes, 2nd night 20 minutes and the third night about 5 minutes. Since then they fall asleep with no problems, no night wakings and they sleep later in the morning. This all goes out the window if they are sick or teething. Once they feel better they return to the good sleep patterns without having to CIO again. CIO worked well for us.

Good luck!

 

Mine did something similar around 8 months actual (6 1/2 adjusted). They were waking just once to feed, but suddenly started waking two or three times a night wanting to play. I put up with it for a few weeks, but after several nights of Addison sticking her tongue out at me and blowing raspberries at 2 am, I decided to CIO. I read Ferber's book and implemented his technique. It works! I was so afraid to CIO, but it really wasn't that bad at all. In fact, our pediatrician said it would be worse the longer we waited and the more strongwilled they got. He actually suggested it to us at 6 months, but at that point they were just waking to feed once a night and I could handle that.

Since we've CIO, now, if we have sleep disturbances, I'm like the PP who waits 10 minutes before checking on them. Nine times out of 10, they're asleep before 10 minutes.

 

I had the EXACT same thing happen with my twins. They had been sleeping through the night and then they stopped at around 4/5 months. The nights were getting worse and worse and looked like yours. Finally I had enough (they are 8 months old), bought Richard Ferber's book ("Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems") and by the END OF THE WEEK they were sleeping through the night again. No B.S! I am not a fan of CIO either, but couldn't keep doing what we were doing, so the "progressive waiting" approach was a good compromise. And it REALLY REALLY WORKED.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!!!

 

Thank you, EVERYONE! I love TS! Everyone is so supportive and willing to share!!

We're going for their 9-month appt. tomorrow and I'm going to talk to their Pediatrician about what is going on. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I most likely will have to do some type of CIO. Whether that be the progressive waiting approach as a PP mentioned or all out CIO. I just HATE hearing them cry. And the idea of them CIO for more than 10 or so minutes makes me feel sick to my stomach...but I know that sleep is important for ALL of us - and we have to get back to it one way or another!

I've wondered about that last nap - maybe I will try to cut that one out and see what happens....

Thanks again! :hug: to all of you!!

 

That is exactly what happened with my ds. He slept through the night until 41/2 months and then started waking all night. I woke up between 10-15 times a night to put him back to sleep for months. I finally did CIO at night and it took a while. We had 8 really tough nights and then 6 more weeks of on and off crying. He finally got it and started sleeping all night. We are now tackleing naps! Good luck with whatever you decide to do, I know how hard it is.