I cant get over wanting another child

But we have pretty much decided that we wont. For numerous reasons that all make sense on a logical level we wont be having any more children. I couldn’t be happier with my boys - well most days anyhow and know that we are incredibly blessed. But I just cant quite get to the point where emotionally I am okay with not having any more children. Has anyone else been in this same spot? For now I have told DH that I understand and that I agree but I just cant close that door entirely just yet so that is where we have left it. I guess at some point time will have passed and these feelings will fade.

 

Hard things to deal with. I personally don't feel the same way, but everyone feels differently. I am just giving you a hug! :grouphug:

Hope you feel better about your decision soon!

 

Every family and their circumstances are different. Your situation may change later down the road to where you both decide to revisit the idea of adding on to your family.

For the first year or so of the twins' lives I thought I was done. Turns out I'm not since baby #3 is on the way now!

 

I totally get what you are saying...I think I looked forward to these years so much growing up....getting married, being pregnant, having kids that it is hard to let that stage go. After we had our first 2 daughters (ages 8 and 6 now), my husband was satisfied but I had this lingering feeling for more..."just one more I told him"....and then we had our twins (2 1/2 now) !!!! Boy was I in the doghouse for a little while about that!! But I still feel that lingering feeling now...I know we are done and I'm ok with that, I mean, I can barely handle the 4 kids we have, ..but there's always that feeling that makes it hard to close the door on this chapter of my life. I was holding my friend's baby the other day and I was like, "Ohhhhh" and then I remembered what it is like to have twin toddlers and that snapped me out of it pretty quickly!! My aunt always tells me, "That feeling will never totally go away" so I try not to base anything on that.

So I can't really tell you one way or the other what to do about that feeling...it's gone both ways for me. I just really get what you are saying.

Shannon

 

We're currently expecting #3 but I already know I'm jonesing for #4 where as DH is adamant that 3 is it. He's itching to schedule a snip. I'm just hoping that after this baby is born, he'll be willing to hold off on anything permanent - I wouldn't ever want to force him to have another child, but I'm hoping he'll be willing to at least keep the possibility open. It's a negotiation that will have to happen at some point. I'm just not sure how it'll work out - there's so much to consider, as individuals & as a couple. Anyway, I don't know what I'll do with that feeling if DH remains adamant that 3 is it. To be honest, I'm kind of hoping that once this 3rd little guy is actually here that I may have a sense of doneness, but who knows? :unknw:

 

DH is set that these 2 are it. Some days I think I would like more but sometimes I just can't picture it. Financially, no. We can't afford a 3rd child right now. I feel like these will be the only 2 we have. We had always talked of having 2 children and there we are. I feel like I would be happy with just the two, but like I said, somedays I feel like I want another.

 

Hugs to you. I remember wanting another baby so bad after my son. I waited 8 years for my girls...I only wanted one, but I was blessed with two (I like to think my 8 year wait helped me earn an extra ) Maybe time will help him change his mind. :hug:

 

Just don't close the door to the opportunity at some point. "Logical" thinking isn't always the best A baby is a gift you will never regret.

 

I don't know if I will ever truly feel like I'm done having children. I love having an infant so much. That said, I know in my head that I could not handle any more children right now. I've asked my DH to get snipped b/c I know that if neither one of us does anything permanent, once this baby turns 2 I am going to want another one.

 

we waited until the twins were over 4 before we scheduled the snip for DH...we left the door open to more kids although with our ages and my health (diabetic) we knew it wasn't really a possibility...

for those of you whose husbands are worried about the snip it really wasn't difficult at all - our urologist did it in the ambulatory surgery center because he does a light sedation - we walked out of the office 2 hours later - I figured my DH would be on the couch with the ice pack for the weekend and the next day he was all for going shopping etc! A bit of bruising (didn't hurt was just sort of disconcerting LOL) and a bit of swelling and within a week it was healed and over with! much less invasive than getting tubes tied unless they are doing it as part of a c-section!

 

I have to say that I feel very much the same. For my entire adult life I never wanted children, and at the 11th hour (biologically-speaking) DH and I felt that our lives felt a little empty and we decided to try to have a baby. We lucked out and ended up with 2! But I can't help yearning for just one more; it's almost like having children is addictive! :lol: I keep hoping this feeling will go away soon, because I'm over 40 and I don't think it's a good idea to try again.

:hug: to you.

 

I felt that way when my husband and I first got married. It definitely just wasn't the right time for us mostly because he went to Iraq right after we got married! He was happy with just the twins (he isn't their biological father) but I wanted one with him. I just gave it some time and 4 years later we are having our last baby. I'm kind of liking the age gap as well. The twins are old enough to know what's going on, know I need to rest, etc. They are still young enough that they like to help, and they'll be in school when the baby is born. It all works out in the end!

 

Thanks ladies :grouphug:
I think some days are worse than others – maybe time of month or something. Then there are days where the boys are stomping on my every last nerve that I am good with the 2. Most of it comes down to age which unfortunately wont get better with time I am approaching that 11th hour and DH is 9 years older than I am. I am still not 100% sure (and probably wont be for some time) and that is okay. I truly appreciate you ladies and your willingness to share.